Oh puhleeze...

Please permit this man to do what he was put on earth to do.
It could be the Binky we all need.

And deer. And chicks. I will intercept all the chicks who come at you and I will fark them into submission.

Shut up and play yer guitar.

I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

No, he'd be too busy checking out the fifteen year old girls.

50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Well, he certainly knows how to handle firearms, no question there. The only thing that I'd call into question when considering him for security would be his mental stability.

nekom: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Well, he certainly knows how to handle firearms, no question there. The only thing that I'd call into question when considering him for security would be his mental stability.

Oh, I figure that works in his favor. He's one of "shoot first, and let God sort 'em out" types. You would have to be careful about having girls around though. One chick with a boob shirt, and there goes your security.

50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Borderline retarded, prone to outbursts of anger and violence, openly bigoted and seems to be proud of it....

None of those things are what I look for in a security detail.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Borderline retarded, prone to outbursts of anger and violence, openly bigoted and seems to be proud of it....

None of those things are what I look for in a security detail.

Heh, you just described the local police force here. At least he is adept with firearms. They aren't really.

There goes Uncle Ted. He crazy.

There is no man on earth with greater delusions of grandeur than Ted Nugent.

WaltzingMathilda: There is no man on earth with greater delusions of grandeur than Ted Nugent.

I don't know.....he'd probably run a very close second to GWB.

Mighty bold talk for a farking draft dodger.

What about Detroit Madmen?

ksdanj: I don't know.....he'd probably run a very close second to GWB.

GWB never had delusions of grandeur - that guy was dragged kicking and screaming to his current post. there's a reason he goes on vacation 180 days a year.

Nugent claims that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.

Nuge has a bodyguard fantasy with McCartney.

And then he wants to play touch football and go camping with Brett Favre.

whidbey: What about Detroit MOTOR CITY Madmen?

FIFM

/Wango Tango
//Intensities in Ten Cities

Cyberluddite: Mighty bold talk for a farking draft dodger.

Yeah, I'd be afraid that if something did go down, he'd shiat his pants to get out of doing anything about it.

I knew you were good for something, big guy...

Ted Nugent bodyguarding Paul McCartney? That's quite an event-horizon of irrelevance right there...

I'm sure that the thing Paul McCartney wants most in the whole world after escaping from an insane one-legged person is an insane two-legged person with guns.

50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

You're kidding, right? He dodged the draft in one of the most cowardly and despicable ways I've ever heard in my life.

Sgt Otter: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

You're kidding, right? He dodged the draft in one of the most cowardly and despicable ways I've ever heard in my life.

Has that story ever been verified? He said he told that story to an interviewer to fark with them. Has anyone actually looked into the matter to see what actually occurred?

Instant Karma: Sgt Otter: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

You're kidding, right? He dodged the draft in one of the most cowardly and despicable ways I've ever heard in my life.

Has that story ever been verified? He said he told that story to an interviewer to fark with them. Has anyone actually looked into the matter to see what actually occurred?

What?? Check FACTS? This is Fark. Hearsay and conjecture is enough to warrant a hanging around these parts.


Personally, I think this would be an awesome premise for a movie ... maybe they can work in a revenge kill against Heather Mills.

Instant Karma: Has that story ever been verified? He said he told that story to an interviewer to fark with them. Has anyone actually looked into the matter to see what actually occurred?

He claims now that the "caked in feces" story was just something he told the Detroit Free Press to fark with their heads. He does, however, admit to having got a student deferment by enrolling in a course at Oakland College which he never intended to attend or complete.

Someone did a FOIA request and got his draft records.

Unless I'm reading that wrong, it notes "armed forces physical examination" = "rejected".

I guess it really only matters if you're wondering what KIND of cowardly draft-dodger he was --- Fake-crazy a-la Max Klinger on M*A*S*H, or "found other priorities" a-la Dick Cheney.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: Instant Karma: Has that story ever been verified? He said he told that story to an interviewer to fark with them. Has anyone actually looked into the matter to see what actually occurred?

He claims now that the "caked in feces" story was just something he told the Detroit Free Press to fark with their heads. He does, however, admit to having got a student deferment by enrolling in a course at Oakland College which he never intended to attend or complete.

Someone did a FOIA request and got his draft records.

Unless I'm reading that wrong, it notes "armed forces physical examination" = "rejected".

I guess it really only matters if you're wondering what KIND of cowardly draft-dodger he was --- Fake-crazy a-la Max Klinger on M*A*S*H, or "found other priorities" a-la Dick Cheney.

A student deferment would have had him classified as something else.

1-A is prime draft material.
2-S is a college deferment.
1-Y is draftable, but as a last resort.
4-F (his last one), is physically or mentally unfit for military service.
I can't read the first one, and it doesn't seem to fit any of the codes listed here.

So Ted's not being entirely honest here by claiming he had student deferments the whole time (which he didn't deserve). He has one year of student deferment, and one of flunking the draft board, which fits the shiat and Piss Theory.

Since he's now retracting his claim that he dodged the draft covered in piss and shiat (curiously around the time he reinvented himself as a right-wing man's man), I'm wondering as to exactly how he failed the physical exam, since even 30 years later, he still puts on concerts where he bounces around the stage like a Jedi on speed.

Sgt Otter:

He's a transparent pussy. Like when Bruce Willis pretended to want to sign up for Iraq but was -- oh surprise -- too old. As if Bruce Willis couldn't work for one of the security companies.

We shouldn't be too hard on Ted.

I'm sure he'd offer his services up to any and everyone as long as it would keep his name in print.

- He's really been hitting the Food Channel hard lately.

"Safe from mad men"? And this was under "Unlikely"?

What, was the "Ironic" tag out for a drink?

Ok, so I'm kinda drunk by now but I like posting this in Ted Nugent threads since he's all ga-ga over Sarah Palin (and because he's an attention whore due to his new book coming out):


moar funny pictures

Ted has a new book coming out. He's a goddamn attention whore. He's been on Farklite for 3 days in the past week... Pay attention

50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

I'm sure that the victims of various car bombings et al in the Middle East were merely failing to carry the proper bow. Ted'll be an ace counterterrorism agent, fer sher...

Ted Nugent offers Paul McCartney his services as bodyguard after learning of death threats from Muslim extremists: "It would be my pleasure to keep this legendary musical hero safe from terrorists and mad men" likes to see his name in the paper.

Ted Nugent offers Paul McCartney his services as bodyguard

"It would be my pleasure to keep this legendary musical hero safe from terrorists and mad men"


That's a black hole of irony.

4-F (his last one), is physically or mentally unfit for military service.

This is what I was declared in '71, because of my cerebral palsy. Good thing, too, 'cuz my draft number was 95.

Goonie_Goo_Goo Ok, so I'm kinda drunk by now but I like posting this in Ted Nugent threads...


EL_FABREZ That's a black hole of irony.

Came here for comments more interesting than on the posted article, thanks FARK.

Think this one over Ted. How easy is it to pull a crossbow out from a side holster under your jacket, load it with a bolt, cock it then aim and fire it. Yeah, it wouldn't work very well.

Go back to playing good bluesy RnR Ted.

Security is about the only thing Ted is qualified to do in a concert hall anymore.

Bill_Wick's_Friend: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Borderline retarded, prone to outbursts of anger and violence, openly bigoted and seems to be proud of it....

None of those things are what I look for in a security detail.

Are you talking about McCain?

Do you think that one day, maybe, Ted Nugent will be in the news because of his music ?

I certainly don't blame Ted for avoiding the draft, even though it makes him look hypocritical now. The Viet Nam war was a tragic farce and a national disgrace.

Gregg Allman dodged the draft by shooting himself in the foot. His brother Duane threw a foot-shootin' party, got his little brother all liquored up, and painted a bull's eye on his mocassin. Gregg was having a tough time getting up the nerve, so he called an ambulance, and, when he heard the siren, he did the deed.

President Carter granted amnesty to all draft deserters. He was the last class act we've had in the White House.

I think Uncle Teds ready for terrorist to attack his stage.

nekom: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

Well, he certainly knows how to handle firearms, no question there. The only thing that I'd call into question when considering him for security would be his mental stability.

It's really quite easy to butt-rock someone to death.

What the hell is this guy so scared of? I loved the interview I saw where he claims to hunt to provide meat for his family. Yeah, OK Ted, I can see how you need to do that being filthy rich and all.

You're a farking musician, please, STFU, you haven't had to work a hard day in decades.

I love the fact he's a draft dodger too. What a hypocrite. What a douchebag.

shanrick: Nugent claims that 30 days before his Draft Board Physical, he stopped all forms of personal hygiene. The last 10 days he ingested nothing but junk food and Pepsi, and a week before his physical, he stopped using the bathroom altogether, virtually living inside his pants caked with excrement and urine. That spectacle won Nugent a deferment.

That also worked for the bass player from the Hampton Grease Band

Sgt Otter: 50mm: I don't agree with Ted on very much, but I damn sure would rest easy with him on security.

You're kidding, right? He dodged the draft in one of the most cowardly and despicable ways I've ever heard in my life.

I don't blame anyone for avoiding Viet-Nam, whether it's Nuge or Clinton, shows you have at least a little some common sense. Volunteering is one thing, but being forced to go and die in a unnecessary political war? fark that shiat

and chickenhawks are another deal altogether

"Ted has a new book coming out. He's a goddamn attention whore. He's been on Farklite for 3 days in the past week... Pay attention"

Well, that's disturbing. Last thing we need here is celebrities, both minor and major, coming here and acting like normal folk.
Of course, normal is a relative term here.
I expect Ted is happily thread shiatting the political threads.