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(NASCAR) Asinine Nascar announces that everyone involved in their 'sport' is a drug addict. So will be subject to the same abuse the rest of us experience every day on the road   (nascar.com) divider line 85
More: Asinine  
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85 Comments   (+0 »)


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turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:12:18 PM  
So let me try to understand your logic Subby.
It's totally OK to have drunk and high drivers on the road?
I would think getting hit by an impaired driver a far worse abuse.

 
Tofino 2008-09-21 02:21:40 PM  
I haven't the foggiest clue what Subby is on about in the headline.

Don't drink and submit, kids. Hell, reading this one, don't huff gold paint and submit.

 
MOSTLY CERVICAL KREMS 2008-09-21 02:21:56 PM  
Since this is as close to we get as a race thread...wewt!

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:22:07 PM  
And Kurt spins already

 
Captain Fapdaily 2008-09-21 02:24:26 PM  
If everyday drivers are pulled over at random and have to pee in a cup, these "athletes" should get the same treatment.

/snarkin in a nascar thread

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:24:56 PM  
MOSTLY CERVICAL KREMS: Since this is as close to we get as a race thread...wewt!

Methinks the Subby got one by the Admins.
Bravo if this is the case

 
The Dogs of War 2008-09-21 02:25:56 PM  
hey subby
i33.tinypic.com
you make no sense

 
robbiedo 2008-09-21 02:25:59 PM  
DNRTA (well a I read a little). What drugs are they suspecting?

 
Aevum 2008-09-21 02:26:26 PM  
I think what subby was pointing out is that we're getting more and more into a "guilty until proven innocent" mindset.

Police/Government has already declared that anyone driving a car in my town on a Friday or Saturday night is DUI. That's why they take half a dozen cop cars and set them up so that they can pull EVERYONE over. Then you get to prove you're NOT DUI before they let you go.

/Just my guess.

 
buzzvert [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:26:49 PM  
Beer is a drug, ergo, subby might be more correct than his initial intent.

NASCAR sober is like watching your clothes dry.

 
animesucks 2008-09-21 02:27:31 PM  
well i hate nascar, so i'm getting a kick out of this headline (no matter how confusing and incoherent it is)

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:29:41 PM  
I've always thought that all NASCAR drivers should be forced to keep at least one crate of whisky in their car at all times and that they lose points for each broken bottle at the end of the run.

That would at least keep them close to the true spirit (heh) of the sport.

 
Godscrack [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:29:52 PM  
Subby: you should also be glad there are no sobriety check points set up after NASCAR races. Them events are alcohol free ya know.

 
CruJones 2008-09-21 02:30:26 PM  
I award you zero points, and may god have mercy on your soul.

/doesn't see how steroids would help a driver
//that's what this is really about

 
piaddic120 2008-09-21 02:30:43 PM  
You'd have to be drunk or high to want to drive around in a circle 200 times.

 
UNC_Samurai [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:30:59 PM  
I want to know what driver is honestly stupid enough to use drugs before driving a car at 160-180 mph. And what drug they think will benefit them without being a bad idea.

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:32:09 PM  
robbiedo: DNRTA (well a I read a little). What drugs are they suspecting?

Obviously narcotics (Adam Fike, Shane Hmiel), But I also suspect that they will be looking at performance enhancers as well.
No list of banned substances will be issued.

 
hyperspacemonkey 2008-09-21 02:32:18 PM  
I don't get it. Are they testing pit crew, too? Are there lots of accidents in NASCAR because of drugs, or is this just a company called AEGIS who for 20 years has bribed and nepotised their way into NASCAR's life?

And why does that retard in the article keep saying "moving forward"? Does he even know what the words mean?

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:32:33 PM  
UNC_Samurai: I want to know what driver is honestly stupid enough to use drugs before driving a car at 160-180 mph. And what drug they think will benefit them without being a bad idea.

I always like it when I read stories about random drug tests on high school Chess club members.

Dude, if the Chess club is doing drugs we've f*cking lost the war on drugs.

 
iancole 2008-09-21 02:33:55 PM  
Terrible headline.

Also, f**k drug testing

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:34:46 PM  
iancole: Terrible headline.

Also, f**k drug testing


I can't WAIT for us to start random drug testing on wall street traders, corporate CEOs and members of Congress.

that'll ROCK!

 
destrip 2008-09-21 02:36:38 PM  
What drugs are they suspecting?

Oh, I'm sure the Demon Weed will top the list, despite no means of testing for actual impairment and no evidence that smoking weed significantly impairs driving.

They always test for that 'cause it's easy to test for and easy to get positive readings on due to the retention of metabolites in the body.

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:37:50 PM  
CruJones: /doesn't see how steroids would help a driver

Upper body strength.
The stonger and more fit you are, the longer you can wrestle a 3500 lb. car to the left.

 
krazydiamond 2008-09-21 02:38:12 PM  
Yup, until we are random drug testing every man woman and child on the planet, we will never be safe.

 
Lock'n Load 2008-09-21 02:39:23 PM  
Shenanigans. What performance enhancing drugs are there that would help you drive faster and more adeptly?

Anyone know?

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:40:28 PM  
Lock'n Load: Shenanigans. What performance enhancing drugs are there that would help you drive faster and more adeptly?

Anyone know?


See my last post

 
azxj 2008-09-21 02:40:45 PM  
UNC_Samurai: I want to know what driver is honestly stupid enough to use drugs before driving a car at 160-180 mph. And what drug they think will benefit them without being a bad idea.

In the olympics they drug test the shooting and archery athletes. I guess some of them were taking an anti-parkinson's drug to steady their aim. So you'd be surprised.

 
kfj- 2008-09-21 02:43:00 PM  
UNC_Samurai: I want to know what driver is honestly stupid enough to use drugs before driving a car at 160-180 mph. And what drug they think will benefit them without being a bad idea.

This guy thought heroin was a good idea (new window)

 
Nicolette [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:43:43 PM  
Love this "We think it's always incumbent upon all of us at NASCAR to think safety first"

I couldn't say that with a straight face...

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:46:38 PM  
In other news, there's a great race on.......

 
moof 2008-09-21 02:46:58 PM  
robbiedo: DNRTA (well a I read a little). What drugs are they suspecting?

speed
, obviously.

 
nicoffeine 2008-09-21 02:48:24 PM  
destrip: What drugs are they suspecting?

Oh, I'm sure the Demon Weed will top the list, despite no means of testing for actual impairment and no evidence that smoking weed significantly impairs driving.

They always test for that 'cause it's easy to test for and easy to get positive readings on due to the retention of metabolites in the body.


I've driven high, and you're an idiot. It's much harder to concentrate on the road.

 
slashmonkey 2008-09-21 02:50:29 PM  
Free poppyseed rolls for everyone!!!

 
catatonicsrus 2008-09-21 02:50:34 PM  
I don't know how you would race in Nascar without being on cocaine or meth.

 
Captain Fapdaily 2008-09-21 02:51:25 PM  
moof: robbiedo: DNRTA (well a I read a little). What drugs are they suspecting?

speed, obviously.


Oh, now that's funny.

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:52:09 PM  
Nemacheck has found the wall.

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:54:38 PM  
If they tested the fans, and refused admission to anyone testing positive, attendance would plummet.


Weaver95

I've always thought that all NASCAR drivers should be forced to keep at least one crate of whisky in their car at all times and that they lose points for each broken bottle at the end of the run.

That would at least keep them close to the true spirit (heh) of the sport.


Great idea, but to really get back to their roots, the whisky should be in Mason jars.

 
ilovepoo 2008-09-21 02:57:07 PM  
Boogity! Boogity!

 
SeriousGeorge 2008-09-21 02:57:40 PM  
If I was looking for a drug to enhance my performance in racing my first bet would be something similar to coke or meth. Not that I care for racing or hard drugs.

 
SpaceBiscuit 2008-09-21 02:58:20 PM  
Nemacheck has found the wall.

I blame Bush

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 03:06:14 PM  
GAWWWWWD! ESPN can't even go to break correctly. GEEEEEEZE!

 
atomicmask 2008-09-21 03:12:58 PM  
turbokat: GAWWWWWD! ESPN can't even go to break correctly. GEEEEEEZE!

ESPN covers sports, NASCAR is not a sport.

And what performing enhancing drugs would you look for exactly? I didnt know a pill existed that made you turn left better or be uninteresting for 4 hours.

 
enry 2008-09-21 03:13:25 PM  
turbokat: The stonger and more fit you are, the longer you can wrestle a 3500 lb. car to the left.

If that's the case, I think someone's power steering fluid needs to be checked.

/can turn a 3500lb car to the left and right without much difficulty
//high on life

 
Bills Cat 2008-09-21 03:14:32 PM  
If they include moonshine and chewing tobacco in the testing, it'll be the end of NASCAR as we know it. Never got much of a thrill from watching loud, powerful cars racing around in a circle all day, but whatever floats yer boat, I guess...

 
TorqueToad 2008-09-21 03:15:14 PM  
I propose random drug testing be performed on Fark submitters.

/like this one

 
signaljammer 2008-09-21 03:16:22 PM  
I've been waking and baking for well over thirty years now. I drive to allievate boredom, 40 - 50 K mi/ yr. Never had an accident, touch wood. Safety sticker. 4 tickets my whole life, all ChickenS***. Never had more than one ticket. But, the state can stick a needle in my arm and give me a total DUI. They can give you a DUI for a .08 which is barely buzzed. Why do saloons have parking lots? A non-spazz can drive okay on a little ethanol, provided he supresses any 'RacerX' memes. I think the MADD community is well into a regime of diminishing returns. I think driving while whiffing Nitrous is a mistake, one I never repeated. Barbiturates in high doses are incompatible with driving, I think. If one is doing hallucinogens, he should let them settle in for a couple of hours, probably. Cannabis hasn't been shown to make driving less safe. There seem to be all kindsa sober drivers who are thouroughly incompetent. They did a simulation test w/ Navy fighter pilots on ethanol, they couldn't get them drunk enough to find a point where they couldn't drive. Sleep deprivation is a great driver's hazard. People who drive while texting, other than at stoplights, are nuts. One shouldn't drive while getting a bj, except on (speedbump-free) boulevards.
And, what's this rustling around in my trunk crap? I thought I had a constitutional right to freedom from random search. The idea that the roads are the state's, and driving is a privilege is rather strained where public transport is unavailable. The original notion of a right to search an auto was the rather tenuous idea that I might have a weapon I was seeking to deploy. In the trunk?

//sorry
//for rambling

 
Griswold 2008-09-21 03:17:58 PM  
animesucks: well i hate nascar, so i'm getting a kick out of this headline (no matter how confusing and incoherent it is)

Well I hate cork soaking (no matter how confusing and incoherent it is)so you won't see me in your cork soaking threads. Please return the favor...cork soaker.

 
turbokat [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 03:24:50 PM  
enry: turbokat: The stonger and more fit you are, the longer you can wrestle a 3500 lb. car to the left.

If that's the case, I think someone's power steering fluid needs to be checked.

/can turn a 3500lb car to the left and right without much difficulty
//high on life


I knew this would come up, Here's the science:
The tires on a stock car a 3 times wider an 2 times taller than your sedan. They are run at very low pressures (15 psi or less)to provide grip. The power steering on these cars is minimal, as a bigger pump will rob horsepower. What you have is a situation where a strong, fit driver wiil do much better than a fat ass.

 
LiteWerk 2008-09-21 03:24:52 PM  
Weaver95
"...keep them close to the true spirit (heh) of the sport!"

Agreed. I like the way you think.

/a few of the pioneers/legends of the sport were 'shine runners (allegedly)

 
Griswold 2008-09-21 03:25:41 PM  
ilovepoo: Boogity! Boogity!

I do miss Fox's coverage with DW. Allen Beastwick just doesn't cut it.

 
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