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(Some Usher) Obvious Sometimes, the headline says it all: "Redneck Wedding" indeed   (wcax.com) divider line 82
More: Obvious  
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mikemoto [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 09:36:13 PM  
Vermont is the home of more "reds" than "rednecks".

 
wargarbl 2008-09-20 09:46:18 PM  
as a total redneck i dont consider anyone that far up north to be a redneck

/just sayin
//had an uber redneck wedding

 
sarahthustra [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 09:49:19 PM  
i'm southern, so i know rednecks.

i spent 3 years in a small village in rural vermont. trust me when i say, there are plenty vermont rednecks.

 
PseudoNic 2008-09-20 09:54:03 PM  
I've seen redneck weddings. I want a ghetto wedding complete with airbrushed shirts.

 
SpillyFarker [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 09:55:33 PM  
PseudoNic: I've seen redneck weddings. I want a ghetto wedding complete with airbrushed shirts.

And ripped jeans.

 
naveline 2008-09-20 10:00:22 PM  
SpillyFarker: PseudoNic: I've seen redneck weddings. I want a ghetto wedding complete with airbrushed shirts.

And ripped jeans.


Who is getting married in the ghetto, exactly? Gay thugs?

 
wargarbl 2008-09-20 10:03:21 PM  
SpillyFarker: PseudoNic: I've seen redneck weddings. I want a ghetto wedding complete with airbrushed shirts.

And ripped jeans.


lol wut?

/darned kids and their long hair

 
SpillyFarker [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 10:03:30 PM  
naveline: Who is getting married in the ghetto, exactly? Gay thugs?

Inside joke. Everytime I see Nic he has on ripped jeans. I don't think he owns a pair of jeans that doesn't have a hole in them.

 
spin_b [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 10:04:16 PM  
This article is useless without pictures.

 
PseudoNic 2008-09-20 10:08:32 PM  
SpillyFarker: I don't think he owns a pair of jeans that doesn't have a hole in them.

That is pretty accurate. My shirts have holes, my shorts have holes...I should spend less on pedicures and more on clothes.

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 10:08:51 PM  
spin_b: This article is useless without pictures.

img265.imageshack.us

 
SpillyFarker [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 10:11:13 PM  
PseudoNic: .I should spend less on pedicures and more on clothes.

I need a pedicure so bad. I walked around barefoot outside with no power last week. My heels are snagging the carpet. :( Guess I'd fit in in a redneck wedding.

 
PseudoNic 2008-09-20 10:23:45 PM  
SpillyFarker: I need a pedicure so bad. I walked around barefoot outside with no power last week. My heels are snagging the carpet. :( Guess I'd fit in in a redneck wedding.

You could be one of Britney's bridesmaids!

 
naveline 2008-09-20 10:31:27 PM  
SpillyFarker: PseudoNic: .I should spend less on pedicures and more on clothes.

I need a pedicure so bad. I walked around barefoot outside with no power last week. My heels are snagging the carpet.



Ghahhh! Have you no Dreml?

 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 10:37:46 PM  
naveline: Ghahhh! Have you no Dreml?

Mmmm! I love the smell of pedicure in the morning.

 
And-1 2008-09-20 10:57:46 PM  
Came expecting to see Palin and Levi, left disappointed.

 
naveline 2008-09-21 12:14:09 AM  
elvisaintdead: naveline: Ghahhh! Have you no Dreml?

Mmmm! I love the smell of pedicure in the morning.


It's a little bit like "perm smell" only crossed with electric train.

 
Drubell 2008-09-21 01:10:56 AM  
Greenlit, so now all of Fark can know of the trends and fashions of certain TFers!

 
vudukungfu 2008-09-21 01:11:42 AM  
Trust me. It was red necked.
/was there
//subbby
///natty light cans held for the wedding photos will haunt the grandchildrens' of the future.

 
GreenSun 2008-09-21 01:12:01 AM  
Hahahahah! Camouflage and candy.... it just symbolizes that the relationship will have stealthy adultery later on, and the marriage that started in sweetness shall melt away sooner or later.

 
mjoven1975 [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:14:18 AM  
FTA: Crystal's ring is made of candy


I'm calling shenanigans. There isn't a woman on this planet that would accept a candy ring.

 
JerkyMeat 2008-09-21 01:14:47 AM  
They should have sacrificed ted nugent on an alter, and burnt his flesh, because it is pleasing to the Lord.

 
vudukungfu 2008-09-21 01:15:52 AM  
mjoven1975:


I'm calling shenanigans. There isn't a woman on this planet that would accept a candy ring.


Dude, she's twelveteen.

 
bajonista 2008-09-21 01:18:19 AM  
"That's what my daughter wanted and how could I tell her no?" said Randy Barrows, father of the bride.

My dad would tell me no. It's easy try it:
"Nnnnnnn... nnnnnnnn... oh. Nnnnooooh. No."

See? There ya go.

And did they buy that fabric for the bridesmaid dresses at Wal Mart?

I had a friend that had a redneck wedding. She had her dad hold a shotgun and everything. She was barefoot and in pig tails. After the vows were said she rode off into the sunset with her new husband through a hay field on the back of a tractor. Reception meal had fried chicken and Bud Light. Very classy.

 
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2008-09-21 01:18:29 AM  
JerkyMeat: They should have sacrificed ted nugent on an alter, and burnt his flesh, because it is pleasing to the Lord.

can we just kill that jerk anyway, wedding or no?

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-09-21 01:19:43 AM  
wargarbl: as a total redneck i dont consider anyone that far up north to be a redneck

/just sayin
//had an uber redneck wedding


There are rednecks in all 50 states. Yes Hawaii and Rhode Island, even you.

 
TurboCojones [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:21:20 AM  
Farkin. Classy.

 
gadian [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:21:58 AM  
The video was cute. Check the teeth :). Not my thing, but very very cute.

 
Ryankenny 2008-09-21 01:22:09 AM  
Ah, c'mon.

If you're a redneck, y'oughtta have fun with at least ONE of your weddings . . .

 
JerkyMeat 2008-09-21 01:23:48 AM  
holiday_inn_in_cambodia if it were a raffle, I would buy a ticket.

 
vudukungfu 2008-09-21 01:24:35 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: wargarbl: as a total redneck i dont consider anyone that far up north to be a redneck

/just sayin
//had an uber redneck wedding

There are rednecks in all 50 states. Yes Hawaii and Rhode Island, even you.


In Rhode Island, they are called "Swamp Yankees"

 
soapdish 2008-09-21 01:26:18 AM  
I've lived in Vermont (two years). And I've lived in Tennessee (four years).

There are plenty of rednecks in VT. They just tend to be less racist than rednecks in the south. Then again, it's a lot easier to be less racist when there are about four black people in the entire state of VT (and three of them are from Memphis).

/ also lived in Buffalo
// currently living in NJ
/// the idea that the color of a person's skin should be the basis upon which you judge them is the stupidest thing I've ever heard

 
vudukungfu 2008-09-21 01:29:35 AM  
soapdish: Then again, it's a lot easier to be less racist when there are about four black people in the entire state of VT (and three of them are from Memphis).



We got a boat load of African refugees implanted recently.
It's cool because I get to practice Swahilli, for the first time in 2 decades.

 
sseye 2008-09-21 01:40:07 AM  
The name "Crystal" is very New England redneck... Right up there with "Missy".

 
caramel corn for president please 2008-09-21 01:40:11 AM  
Not gonna lie, the dark tree-branch pattern on the bride's dress was kinda pretty.

/almost made up for the dude in the bright orange
//ohgod, that was painful

 
mahavishnunj 2008-09-21 01:40:56 AM  
i am redneck as red can be(even though im a musician who plays faggy music and dresses funny). but i can say without hesitation, there are rednecks EVERYWHERE. i assure you, there are rednecks in uganda and ethiopia. its a malfunction in dna that evolution has not weeded out yet. look at bush and mccain.

 
EmmaLou 2008-09-21 01:44:25 AM  
vudukungfu: soapdish: Then again, it's a lot easier to be less racist when there are about four black people in the entire state of VT (and three of them are from Memphis).



We got a boat load of African refugees implanted recently.
It's cool because I get to practice Swahilli, for the first time in 2 decades.


Thank God I got into immigration. When Vermont, Ohio, and South Dakota are dealing with an influx of Africans from every country there, I know I've made the right decision.

Immigration, it's not just for the Mexicans anymore.

 
JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm 2008-09-21 01:50:58 AM  
I know that it has already been said that there are rednecks everywhere, not just in the south. I am just glad that they were not flying rebel flags. It pisses me off to no end to see people from the north flying that flag. That flag is a symbol of the south, but when it is corrupted by carpetbagging yankee northern swine they make it out to be about being a redneck and hating black people.

/Yes, I am talking about you Pennsylvania.

 
lazy_salamander 2008-09-21 01:56:57 AM  
side note:
what was going on with the news anchor and his hair?????

 
Excen 2008-09-21 02:01:16 AM  
mahavishnunj: i am redneck as red can be(even though im a musician who plays faggy music and dresses funny). but i can say without hesitation, there are rednecks EVERYWHERE. i assure you, there are rednecks in uganda and ethiopia. its a malfunction in dna that evolution has not weeded out yet. look at bush and mccain.

Dude, you're in Depeche Mode?

I once DJed a wedding reception held in a horse barn, where the father of the bride was wearing a straw hat, overalls, no shirt, no shoes and was chewing on a stalk of wheat, dancing like an extra on Hee-Haw to Fishin' in the Dark by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. The only thing that drunken barn dance was missing was Mrs. Cartman blowing every pecker within sucking distance.

/Don't want to sound like a queer or nothin'. . .

 
kob_zilla 2008-09-21 02:02:26 AM  
bp2.blogger.com

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-09-21 02:03:12 AM  
vudukungfu: fanbladesaresharp: wargarbl: as a total redneck i dont consider anyone that far up north to be a redneck

/just sayin
//had an uber redneck wedding

There are rednecks in all 50 states. Yes Hawaii and Rhode Island, even you.

In Rhode Island, they are called "Swamp Yankees"


Well let's take this to other farkers. What's the word for "rednecks" in your neck of the woods? Let's forego the PC niceness and just read what the real terminology is out there. I know NC has a few but I can't post here lest they be NSFW. I tell them I'm a Californicatin' native and I catch all kinds of hell from the locals.

 
EigenPuff [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:11:45 AM  
Growing up in small-town Arizona & Washington (state), I can vouch that these here are fully-certified rednecks.

//Hell, Canada even has rednecks. Just ask Shania Twain.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-09-21 02:13:54 AM  
mahavishnunj: i am redneck as red can be(even though im a musician who plays faggy music and dresses funny). but i can say without hesitation, there are rednecks EVERYWHERE. i assure you, there are rednecks in uganda and ethiopia. its a malfunction in dna that evolution has not weeded out yet. look at bush and mccain.

Yeah you just proved your own point with the trolling at the tail edge.

4/10 You would have gotten a 2 but I added because you admitted they're everywhere, not just the US.

 
qrb912 [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:16:30 AM  
I think there was a show about red neck weddings on for a while. It must not be that un-common.

 
TehBoognish 2008-09-21 02:17:46 AM  
wargarbl: as a total redneck i dont consider anyone that far up north to be a redneck

/just sayin
//had an uber redneck wedding


OK dood, I am not a redneck, I am a geek. BUT I live in Nashville so I can tell a redneck when I see one. You sir are NOT a redneck.

Why?

Rednecks don't know what "uber" means, you used it in the correct context.

Whats worse than a redneck poseur?

Not a damn thing.

 
vudukungfu 2008-09-21 02:24:36 AM  
sseye: The name "Crystal" is very New England redneck... Right up there with "Missy".

you must know missy tatro.
She peaked at 14 and got fat.
She was hot when she was illegal, and then some local redneck tapped that sweet maple apling and ruint her.
She's still purty.
But fat as a sack of beans.

For the uninitiated: Tatro = Teatrault, like Tibo = Thibideaux.
And peaking at 12 means a child had poor diet until puberty.
If they were mollested, they got fat younger.
If they got fat way after puberty, then they were just malnourished.

It is damend sad when you can spot a diddled kid based on their waistline.

But that's coontryfolk.
A-yep.

 
anfrind 2008-09-21 02:24:43 AM  
TehBoognish: Whats worse than a redneck poseur?

Not a damn thing.


What's more intelligent than two redneck poseurs?

One redneck poseur.

 
MalloreeH 2008-09-21 02:27:21 AM  
heh. I wish I had the pictures from my cousin's wedding in Houston, MO.
The groom and all of the groomsman wore black wranglers with a button down shirt, huge cowboy hats and belt buckles the size of dinner plates.
The reception was held at the fairgrounds, and the food was BBQ, chips, cole slaw and sweet tea.

My boyfriend from Kentucky was even surprised by how hillbilly it was.

 
Excen 2008-09-21 02:27:48 AM  
fanbladesaresharp:
Well let's take this to other farkers. What's the word for "rednecks" in your neck of the woods? Let's forego the PC niceness and just read what the real terminology is out there. I know NC has a few but I can't post here lest they be NSFW. I tell them I'm a Californicatin' native and I catch all kinds of hell from the locals.


Here in North Idaho (where just about every-freaking-body has a red-tinted neck) we call them "Canadians". They stream across the border driving like they're in the Tim Hortons 500 at Talladega in cars with Dale or Darrel or Cletus' number in the back window just to buy cheaper gas, that fancy-schmancy Taco Bell and dog food that they can't take back with them anyway. I can't count the number of times I've nearly been run off the road by some idiot Albertan or British Columbian. Although they aren't all bad: I about pissed myself when some Canuckistani yelled at a Wal-Mart cashier, "I demand to speak to your manager aboot this!"

/And why do their women think the bulldyke haircut is flattering?

 
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