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(MTV) Amusing Metal band Stryper coming to "Guitar Praise," a Christian clone of "Guitar Hero." It works just the same as Guitar Hero, except the bands are much lamer and the game refuses to boot on Sunday mornings   (multiplayerblog.mtv.com) divider line 63
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strangeguitar 2008-09-20 01:55:14 PM  
I don't forsee a whole lotta shredin' goin' on there.
Is the highest level being able to do a song with more than 5 chords?
Does Guitar Hero even have chords?
/real guitar player

 
Howie Spankowitz [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 01:58:33 PM  
Now with 97.7% more repressed homosexuality!

 
HappyHarryHardOn [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 01:59:05 PM  
farm3.static.flickr.comwww.rockeyez.com


"we'll snatch your soul before Satan does"

 
BobtheFascist 2008-09-20 02:01:59 PM  
This is going to change contemporary church services forever.

 
calbert [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-20 02:15:19 PM  
and now this news makes the original announcement of this moot

/circle of life

 
NeverDrunk23 2008-09-20 02:29:00 PM  
'This sounds like rock and/or roll!'

/Not obscure.

 
strangeguitar 2008-09-20 02:32:53 PM  
NeverDrunk23: 'This sounds like rock and/or roll!'

/Not obscure.


SKIN-NER!

 
40yoVirgin [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 02:53:59 PM  
strangeguitar: NeverDrunk23: 'This sounds like rock and/or roll!'

/Not obscure.

SKIN-NER!

Today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He's got his Hi Fi, his boob tube, and his instant pizza pie...

www.duffgardens.net

 
strangeguitar 2008-09-20 03:42:36 PM  
40yoVirgin: strangeguitar: NeverDrunk23: 'This sounds like rock and/or roll!'

/Not obscure.

SKIN-NER!

Today's Christian doesn't think he needs God. He's got his Hi Fi, his boob tube, and his instant pizza pie...

DAMN! I knew it was Lovejoy, but I'm drunk watching the Ryder Cup.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 03:50:03 PM  
i2.photobucket.com

 
vartian [TotalFark] 2008-09-20 03:50:03 PM  
img515.imageshack.us

/Because videos games are the tools of Satan...unless they ROCK OUT WITH JESUS!

 
JohnnyRebel88 2008-09-20 05:01:09 PM  
Is it Free?

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-09-20 05:01:10 PM  
how do you play the (fake) guitar while holding your hands up into the air?


/the only thing worse than pogoing.

 
Jedi_Templar 2008-09-20 05:26:43 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

You're not making Christianity any better, you're just making rock and roll worse.

 
Kali-Yuga 2008-09-20 05:30:54 PM  
I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus!
I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!

 
Pronto_Breakneck 2008-09-20 05:33:46 PM  
"I'm goin' up to heaven on a holy train..
I'm goin' up to heaven on a holy train.."

Wexford, PA Fire Hall. 1989. Best Christian rock cover of an Ozzy tune EVAR!!!11eleventy!

 
grim_and_frostbitten 2008-09-20 05:49:04 PM  
ugh ... they should have Stryper songs in Guitar Hero/Rock Band. not with a bunch of lame contemporary xian bands.

i know it's probably gay to like them, but they're a guilty pleasure of mine.

\listening to Psycroptic's "Symbols Of Failure"
\\so i'm not gay
\\\shut up!

 
DeltaXi65 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-20 06:05:40 PM  
I wish these guys would get off their ass and put some country songs into Rock Band or Guitar Hero. They're missing a huge market.

 
Kali-Yuga 2008-09-20 06:30:30 PM  
grim_and_frostbitten: lame contemporary xian bands.

The phrase "Lame Christian Band" is redundant.

 
T_Town_Fry_Daddy 2008-09-20 06:35:32 PM  
Listen to Demonhunter

 
dionysusaur 2008-09-20 06:57:44 PM  
DeltaXi65: I wish these guys would get off their ass and put some country songs into Rock Band or Guitar Hero. They're missing a huge market.

No joke - some Roy Clark, Ricky Skaggs, or some Flatt & Scruggs would kick bootay.

 
Whatthefark 2008-09-20 07:36:56 PM  
Stryper used more hairspray than the other buttrock bands combined. I think it was there was of trying to open hte ozone layer to make it easier to get to heaven.

Here's an interview with Scott Ian of Anthrax talking about Stryper opening for them.

 
Arthur the Sandwich Maker 2008-09-20 07:54:21 PM  
Kali-Yuga: The phrase "Lame Christian Band" is redundant.

There are some good Christian bands. Kings X were a good Christian band till Doug came out about his sexuality and got loads of sh*t from the "Christian" rock community and lost his faith.

Still, good band, and they were Christians at one point. Sooo, um...

 
Sherjo311 2008-09-20 08:41:45 PM  
i'm sure this kid will be one of the first to pick up the new game

www.mtv.com

 
I Like Bread 2008-09-20 09:35:32 PM  
And it'll feature exclusively in Walmarts with a sticker saying, "If you like Guitar Hero, TRY ME!"

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-09-20 09:58:24 PM  
Arthur the Sandwich Maker: There are some good Christian bands.

there's a difference between "bands that are Christian" and "Christian Bands". The latter are the better ones who put their music above all (at least on record), the former are watered-down poseurs who can't really get beyond that otherwise faceless music doesn't talk about god at all.

 
macdaddy357 2008-09-20 10:03:41 PM  
A lot of Christians are too homophobic to tolerate the likes of Stryper. They look as queer as football bats!

 
Sherjo311 2008-09-20 10:24:00 PM  
Whatthefark

i got a kick out of that video

the only artist to successfully throw bibles into an audience and not have them thrown back at him is manson

 
craigdamage 2008-09-20 11:13:36 PM  
I play bass in a SHOE WEARING BAND

I wear shoes.
The other guys wear shoes too.
That makes us a "Shoe Band!"


Someday I hope to join a "eats cereal for breakfast band"

 
JohnnyDreamboat 2008-09-20 11:43:53 PM  
"we'll snatch your soul before Satan does"

And with four snatches, they'll have a better chance!

 
grim_and_frostbitten 2008-09-20 11:51:16 PM  
Kali-Yuga: The phrase "Lame Christian Band" is redundant.

there are some rare exceptions ...

www.mothermetal.com

static.metal-archives.com

i023.radikal.ru

 
STRYPERSWINE 2008-09-21 12:41:13 AM  
Stryper is actually a lot heavier and a lot more talented than their image would suggest.

/no I didn't name myself after them
//it was a parody of SLAYERSWINE, which is now probably lost on most Farkers

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-09-21 12:43:19 AM  
Arthur the Sandwich Maker: Kali-Yuga: The phrase "Lame Christian Band" is redundant.

There are some good Christian bands. Kings X were a good Christian band till Doug came out about his sexuality and got loads of sh*t from the "Christian" rock community and lost his faith.

Still, good band, and they were Christians at one point. Sooo, um...


I saw Kings X starting back when Pinnick had the mile-high mohawk. The were (and I assume still are) a great band. They were also all Christians. They were not a Christian band.

They did not talk about Christianity, give testimonials about their relationship with Jesus or any of that crap. That's the difference.


On a related note... do any of you farkers know where I can find a copy (in any form) of Doug Pinnick and Dimebag Darryl doing "Born Under a Bad Sign"? I know that it exists, and I heard about thirty seconds of it somewhere, but I can't find the damn thing.

 
JQPublic [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:14:40 AM  
Guitar Praise?

Guitar Jihad to kick its ass in ...3....2....1...

 
Raptor Jesus 2008-09-21 02:59:04 AM  
JQPublic: Guitar Praise?

Guitar Jihad to kick its ass in ...3....2....1...


I laughed, really hard. Well done.

 
Arthur the Sandwich Maker 2008-09-21 06:11:58 AM  
FeedTheCollapse: there's a difference between "bands that are Christian" and "Christian Bands".

Ace Frehley's Ghost: They did not talk about Christianity, give testimonials about their relationship with Jesus or any of that crap. That's the difference.

Yeah, I know, they were a Christian rock band, not a Christian-Rock band, and damn fine they were/are too.

Terrible basis for a genre anyway, bugger all to do with the music.

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2008-09-21 07:13:08 AM  
Will Guitar Praise have phat bass lines from Faith +1?

 
MikoSquiz 2008-09-21 08:51:39 AM  
STRYPERSWINE: Stryper is actually a lot heavier and a lot more talented than their image would suggest.

Stryper are actually more like ABBA with rock guitar dubbed in. So, you know, if you like ABBA that's nice.

/Calling On You sounds exactly like an Anderson/Ulvaeus composition.
//it's kind of a guilty pleasure for me, to be honest

 
Sillygoth [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 10:04:27 AM  
I have no problem with "Christian Rock" per se. It repulses me, and offends me, but I can always change the channel/station if it begins to appear in my presence. So while it genuinely pisses me off to know that "Praise Hero" will be given space at massive retail outlets, I'm not going to be some sort of retard and make a scene about it when it offends my sensibilities.

My problem is with the Christians who have an issue with me simply having the ability to listen to metal/industrial, because it doesn't substitute talent for vapid lyrics about the Abrahamic faith.

The sad part is that this is going to sell quite well, as there's a whole market of brainwashed morons who will buy this for their kids/themselves as a "Christian substitute" for Guitar Hero/Rock Band. These retards don't get they're being fleeced for millions a year by people who certainly don't exemplify the ideals of christianity, and I'd assume a lot of the programmers, etc. who worked on the game aren't christians either.

The vast majority of "Christian Rock/Christian Metal" bands are and were horrid, their sales based purely on the marketing behind their image. (Not that it makes them any different from 90% of all bands of all genres, but bringing faith into it is a dirty trick.)

I only EVER have respected one Christian band; they were a metal band in the late 80's/ early 90's named "Bride". They were freakishly talented, yet had clearly Christian lyrics. I didn't care, because you could headbang and mosh to it. Naturally, when I played it on the youth group's stereo, I was told I had been deceived, and they weren't actually Christian, because the music was too violent. I think Amy Grant followed shortly thereafter.

And this, boys and girls, was the beginning of the end with me and the man they call Jesus. Two years later, I officially broke with the church, under psychiatric order. (He stated that my mother forcing me to go against my will could be interpreted as abuse.) The Youth Pastor resigned under allegations he'd enjoyed touching 16 y/o girls after prayer meetings.

It's funny, really. If I hadn't taken a stand over music, I might still have been stuck in the web of lies and control that modern Christianity inflicts on the unsuspecting. Metal saved my soul.

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-09-21 11:33:51 AM  
Sillygoth: So while it genuinely pisses me off to know that "Praise Hero" will be given space at massive retail outlets



[unlikely tag]

 
Arthur the Sandwich Maker 2008-09-21 12:12:44 PM  
Sillygoth: My problem is with the Christians who have an issue with me simply having the ability to listen to metal/industrial, because it doesn't substitute talent for vapid lyrics about the Abrahamic faith.

Aaah, come on now, I've been into metal for, um, 21 years solid ('kin' 'ell!), grew up on Maiden, Metallica and Megadeth and as a genre it's all about the vapid lyrics regardless of subject matter. James Hetfield is one of the single worst lyricists of all time and it's a hard task to find anyone much better. Bruce Dickinson's no TS Elliot either.

It's not that which bothers me about Christ-rock. What does bother me is this: As someone else pointed out the other day when we had a story about a Christian pop-singer coming out of the closet, isn't it a thing that he's going to get all kinds of shiat from his horrible evangelistic community about his homosexuality, but when Rob Halford came out metal fans the world over pretty much failed to be bothered, or indeed interested, at all. Speaks volumes.

 
Dr.Salvador 2008-09-21 12:27:19 PM  
Maybe they could try and get "Stairway to Heaven" to be in here, or maybe "In the Garden of Eden"
/"Spirit in the Sky" maybe?

 
your a idot 2008-09-21 12:43:06 PM  
Wait?! Didn't the attempt to go secular in the late 80's early 90's or was that a fail too?

 
fantasizinghydrahead 2008-09-21 01:30:12 PM  
"Sillygoth-
I have no problem with "Christian Rock" per se ..."



Agree with your post 100%. Sometimes, from a musician's standpoint, I feel like the American Tax-Exempt church hates music altogether ( hear me out ). I think if you're every overly concerned with making sure than an art form's focus is fitting within a certain set of guidelines and rules at the expense of the self-expression ( which the CCM industry completely guts ), if you do that then what you make will be full of fail. Its rare that I meet x-tian music heads nowadays that I choose not to go to church, but it is pretty disgusting to hold any conversation with someone who is suggesting that you should give a great deal of thought about replacing your Meshuggah, Behemoth, and Dillinger Escape Plan records with ... Demon Hunter, Living Sacrifice and ( ugh ) Blindside. I've got to replace my They Might Be Giants records with O.C. Supertones, my Steve Vai and Shawn Lane with Tony Palacios and Phil Keaggy, the list goes on and on and all of the music sucks, because its not about how good the music is. Christian music is not a scene where people are constantly revising and rehearsing their compositions because they want to be the best band out there. You make a half-assed hard rock set and get on Cornerstone, and you're an awesome band as far as that scene goes. You're going to sell some records because you're catering to a fan base that mostly has already made a set-in-stone decision that they're going to listen to christian music, only. I swear youth pastors are the christian rock industry's best friend.

Maybe I'm too harsh on christian music in general, but after owning several copies of Seven-Ball and HM magazine, going to festivals and tons of live shows, the only bands I still occassionally listen to are Zao and Five Iron Frenzy.

/Skillet has also become an extremely sad imitation of Nine Inch Nails.
// Glad I don't have to hear christian music anymore if I don't want to.

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:45:29 PM  
Kali-Yuga: I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing Jesus!
I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!


gold.

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:47:06 PM  
fantasizinghydrahead: "Sillygoth-
I have no problem with "Christian Rock" per se ..."


Agree with your post 100%. Sometimes, from a musician's standpoint, I feel like the American Tax-Exempt church hates music altogether ( hear me out ). I think if you're every overly concerned with making sure than an art form's focus is fitting within a certain set of guidelines and rules at the expense of the self-expression ( which the CCM industry completely guts ), if you do that then what you make will be full of fail. Its rare that I meet x-tian music heads nowadays that I choose not to go to church, but it is pretty disgusting to hold any conversation with someone who is suggesting that you should give a great deal of thought about replacing your Meshuggah, Behemoth, and Dillinger Escape Plan records with ... Demon Hunter, Living Sacrifice and ( ugh ) Blindside. I've got to replace my They Might Be Giants records with O.C. Supertones, my Steve Vai and Shawn Lane with Tony Palacios and Phil Keaggy, the list goes on and on and all of the music sucks, because its not about how good the music is. Christian music is not a scene where people are constantly revising and rehearsing their compositions because they want to be the best band out there. You make a half-assed hard rock set and get on Cornerstone, and you're an awesome band as far as that scene goes. You're going to sell some records because you're catering to a fan base that mostly has already made a set-in-stone decision that they're going to listen to christian music, only. I swear youth pastors are the christian rock industry's best friend.

Maybe I'm too harsh on christian music in general, but after owning several copies of Seven-Ball and HM magazine, going to festivals and tons of live shows, the only bands I still occassionally listen to are Zao and Five Iron Frenzy.

/Skillet has also become an extremely sad imitation of Nine Inch Nails.
// Glad I don't have to hear christian music anymore if I don't want to.


interesting.

 
Sillygoth [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 01:50:17 PM  
fantasizinghydrahead: "Sillygoth-
I have no problem with "Christian Rock" per se ..."



Maybe I'm too harsh on christian music in general, but after owning several copies of Seven-Ball and HM magazine, going to festivals and tons of live shows, the only bands I still occassionally listen to are Zao and Five Iron Frenzy.

/Skillet has also become an extremely sad imitation of Nine Inch Nails.
// Glad I don't have to hear christian music anymore if I don't want to.


I saw Zao once, before they became a quasi-household name in the hardcore scene. It was rather funny, because I had an Electric Hellfire Club shirt on. (They're an industrial band who belong very openly to the Church of Satan.) Now, I could understand a certain amount of hostility if I'd showed up to something like Praisefest or whatever those tards go to, but this was NOT a purely xian show. If it was, I can assure you, I would never have gone, no matter how many people told me this was going to be a good time.

Before their set, a couple of guys from Zao were openly encouraging their friends/fans to "fark that dude up if he gets in our pit." I also got a couple of lectures about how my faith was weak, and only losers worship Satan, the ultimate loser. (It's neat, apparently, because I enjoy music that uses Satanic imagery, I completely follow the dark lord.) When posed with the idea that indeed, I was not a satanist, I was told that I'd better, "Prove it; take off the farking shirt then." When I told them to go fark themselves, I was warned that, "You better watch your back." Very goddamned christian of them, indeed.

I really hope someone in Zao dies in a gruesome and public fashion. I'm hoping drug overdose, complete with choking on vomit. Failing that, plane crash/bus crash/car crash. fark them.
They're not good people, nor are they "good christians".

Anyone who agrees with this behavior can die in a fire with them. (Not saying that you do, hydrahead.) Anyone who listens to Zao based on their "christian" message is being fleeced.

 
fantasizinghydrahead 2008-09-21 02:19:13 PM  
Ha SG, I don't doubt at all that that happened. What year was it that that happened? It might have been during their 'Splinter Shards the Birth of Separation' era when they were all about being a floor-punching hardcore group that had a youth pastor trying to be Ian Mckaye for a vocalist ( he left the group because God called him to go do something that's even more christian, basically ). Once he left and Jesse Smith took control of the group basically, is when Zao became a great band for me ( Where Blood and Fire Bring Rest, Liberate Te Ex Inferis, Self-Titled ).

They've also probably had about 20 different people in that band ... There are some periods I definitely hate for them.

 
icatcher 2008-09-21 02:48:07 PM  
fantasizinghydrahead: "Sillygoth-
I have no problem with "Christian Rock" per se ..."


Agree with your post 100%. Sometimes, from a musician's standpoint, I feel like the American Tax-Exempt church hates music altogether ( hear me out ). I think if you're every overly concerned with making sure than an art form's focus is fitting within a certain set of guidelines and rules at the expense of the self-expression ( which the CCM industry completely guts ), if you do that then what you make will be full of fail. Its rare that I meet x-tian music heads nowadays that I choose not to go to church, but it is pretty disgusting to hold any conversation with someone who is suggesting that you should give a great deal of thought about replacing your Meshuggah, Behemoth, and Dillinger Escape Plan records with ... Demon Hunter, Living Sacrifice and ( ugh ) Blindside. I've got to replace my They Might Be Giants records with O.C. Supertones, my Steve Vai and Shawn Lane with Tony Palacios and Phil Keaggy, the list goes on and on and all of the music sucks, because its not about how good the music is. Christian music is not a scene where people are constantly revising and rehearsing their compositions because they want to be the best band out there. You make a half-assed hard rock set and get on Cornerstone, and you're an awesome band as far as that scene goes. You're going to sell some records because you're catering to a fan base that mostly has already made a set-in-stone decision that they're going to listen to christian music, only. I swear youth pastors are the christian rock industry's best friend.

Maybe I'm too harsh on christian music in general, but after owning several copies of Seven-Ball and HM magazine, going to festivals and tons of live shows, the only bands I still occassionally listen to are Zao and Five Iron Frenzy.

/Skillet has also become an extremely sad imitation of Nine Inch Nails.
// Glad I don't have to hear christian music anymore if I don't want to.


The only band I ever truly enjoyed that had a 'christian basis' was Starflyer 59. Not too many overtly christian themes on some albums. Don't have them all but the ones I have are not preachy or typically (see switchfoot) praise puke.

 
Courtney Cox-Zucker [TotalFark] 2008-09-21 02:57:59 PM  
DeltaXi65: I wish these guys would get off their ass and put some country songs into Rock Band or Guitar Hero. They're missing a huge market.

The CGI rendering of the feathers on the chickens in the bread pan pickin' out dough would be so lifelike.

 
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