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(Cincinnati Enquirer) Weird Woman was putting together a scrapbook this summer to give her husband on their 40th anniversary next month. That's when she learned they were never married   (news.cincinnati.com) divider line 83
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dillenger69 [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 09:19:51 PM  
Man ... they need to redo their taxes. They might be able to get a boatload of money back.

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-09-14 09:51:18 PM  
Because that's what he wanted, a scrapbook. Technically should be rubies, definitely should not be a rearranged photo album.

 
labman [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 10:00:36 PM  
Talk about the greatest gift she could ever give her husband.

 
nucal 2008-09-14 10:07:20 PM  
FTA:

"Just picture him with black hair. Just picture me with long hair and false eyelashes - and 10 pounds lighter," she told the judge.

She only gained 10 pounds in 40 years? That's a keeper ...

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 10:19:57 PM  

ftfa

That's because the priest who preformed the ceremony at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral, the Rev. Frances Kennedy - who later became Monsignor Kennedy - made a mistake.
preformed? huh

 
garulee [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 11:38:31 PM  
and he didn't take the opportunity to GTFO?

 
Funk Brothers 2008-09-14 11:40:06 PM  
dillenger69: Man ... they need to redo their taxes. They might be able to get a boatload of money back.

What money?

 
spazzm 2008-09-14 11:43:09 PM  
Priests - is there anything they can't fark (up)?

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2008-09-14 11:46:12 PM  
spazzm: Priests - is there anything they can't fark (up)?

Hoodwinking millions?

 
Innismir 2008-09-14 11:46:23 PM  
poutine514: Another one lost to satan. Surely they're going to hell since they had sex while unmarried.

Actually, it was likely that they were married in the church's eyes, just not the state's. So their souls are safe, just their taxes have been filed in sin.

 
Innismir 2008-09-14 11:47:06 PM  
Bah... Forgot my:

*rimshot*

 
dwalder 2008-09-14 11:47:16 PM  
"Honey - That's not a real priest in our photos, is it?"
"Uh... well... Um... No."

 
Akambe 2008-09-14 11:47:21 PM  
Kudos to the judge, who, instead of acting like a hapless pawn of the letter of the law, acted like a judge and had them declared legally wed for 40 years.

Need more judges like that.

 
Dunkelstar 2008-09-14 11:47:30 PM  
all your estate are belong to us.

but wait . . . Common-law marriage . . . problem nearly solved.

 
Brown Jenkems 2008-09-14 11:48:14 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: Because that's what he wanted, a scrapbook. Technically should be rubies, definitely should not be a rearranged photo album.

Seriously. That's a gift? I hope he got her a toilet brush.

 
dwalder 2008-09-14 11:49:26 PM  
You know this still needs a FLORIDA tag...

 
JewZeppy 2008-09-14 11:51:05 PM  
The cert wasn't even signed.

 
grinding_journalist 2008-09-14 11:51:43 PM  
Does the article's headline bother anyone else? Specifically, the "Snafu" part- I can't see what part of this could possibly be considered "normal". Methinks the author doesn't know what a snafu is.

/why yes, I do have an English degree.
//it's right on the wall next to my Grammar Nazi Certificate of Merit

 
JewZeppy 2008-09-14 11:52:03 PM  
In 2008 or at any time. Ahem.

 
Great Janitor 2008-09-14 11:52:16 PM  
Man, what a lucky bastard. Speaking as someone who has never been married, never will be married, he shouldn't get married.

My mom Friday night questioned me about how I'm living in sin with my girlfriend of 2 years. I told her that when you're not a Christian, there is no sin, and secondly, it's not pre-marital sex when you plan to never get married.

 
IchabodCrane 2008-09-14 11:52:56 PM  
Sounds like an episode on Gilligan's Island...

The same thing happened to Mr. and Mrs. Howell. The skipper re-performed the marriage ceremony on a raft in the lagoon.

 
thefuzz1096 2008-09-14 11:53:07 PM  
All the random tail he could have had over the years, but he didn't because he was "married"...

poor guy.

 
ZoeNekros 2008-09-14 11:55:09 PM  
Oh man, that's gotta be a disappointment... think of all the exciting affairs they thought they had had over the years.

 
Solty Dog 2008-09-14 11:55:22 PM  
thefuzz1096: All the random tail he could have had over the years, but he didn't because he was "married"...

There is a lawsuit there somewhere. Maybe false imprisonment and denial of goods and services.

 
Oznog 2008-09-14 11:56:38 PM  
Oops, no Social Security benefits for you!

/sry, but rules is rules, ma'am.
//i don't write the laws i just enforce them

 
Yesdog [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 11:56:57 PM  
Akambe: Kudos to the judge, who, instead of acting like a hapless pawn of the letter of the law, acted like a judge and had them declared legally wed for 40 years.

Need more judges like that.


Agreed.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 11:59:11 PM  
dwalder: FLOR

For something that happened in Cincinnati, Ohio?

 
Desmo 2008-09-15 12:00:44 AM  
Megain: ftfaThat's because the priest who preformed the ceremony at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral, the Rev. Frances Kennedy - who later became Monsignor Kennedy - made a mistake.

preformed? huh


lol

 
ginger_fretelli 2008-09-15 12:01:58 AM  
poutine514: Another one lost to satan. Surely they're going to hell since they had sex while unmarried.

I had plenty before...I'm having just as much after.
/will enjoy my seat in Hell
//thinks it might be hawt

 
The Power of Positive Drinking 2008-09-15 12:02:02 AM  
Watch, marriage is going to change everything.

 
the_colonel 2008-09-15 12:03:33 AM  
Isn't this scenario depicted in nearly every sitcom ever aired? Lazy ass writers. "I know, let's do one where the wife finds out they are not technically married and the husband has to kiss ass to get her to remarry him."

 
Dmala 2008-09-15 12:05:13 AM  
Innismir:
Actually, it was likely that they were married in the church's eyes, just not the state's. So their souls are safe, just their taxes have been filed in sin.

Good grief, that's worse! An eternity in hell is nothing compared to what the IRS can do to you.

 
Fireproof 2008-09-15 12:08:44 AM  
the_colonel: Isn't this scenario depicted in nearly every sitcom ever aired? Lazy ass writers. "I know, let's do one where the wife finds out they are not technically married and the husband has to kiss ass to get her to remarry him."

I definitely remember this happening on The Jetsons.

 
lenfromak 2008-09-15 12:09:38 AM  
tn3-1.deviantart.com

 
PresentCompanyExcluded 2008-09-15 12:13:47 AM  
Ditto on the common law.

/Why the greenlight?

 
eff ewe 2008-09-15 12:17:26 AM  
Trollop

 
worlddan 2008-09-15 12:20:19 AM  
Weird? Florida???

Sappy FTW

 
IAmRight [TotalFark] 2008-09-15 12:20:50 AM  
Akambe: Kudos to the judge, who, instead of acting like a hapless pawn of the letter of the law, acted like a judge and had them declared legally wed for 40 years.

Need more judges like that.


Them thar's activist judgin' and it shall not be tolerated! Keep judgin' out of the job description of being a judge!

 
inelegy 2008-09-15 12:22:43 AM  
Well, at least they're not gay.

 
veryunoriginal [TotalFark] 2008-09-15 12:25:42 AM  
grinding_journalist Quote 2008-09-14 11:51:43 PM
Does the article's headline bother anyone else? Specifically, the "Snafu" part- I can't see what part of this could possibly be considered "normal". Methinks the author doesn't know what a snafu is.

/why yes, I do have an English degree.
//it's right on the wall next to my Grammar Nazi Certificate of Merit


Noticed that too. Since when do semi-professional newspapers use terms like 'snafu'.. in headlines?

Tomorrow in your local rag:

"Officer accidentally discharges firearm during safety presentation: WTF?"

"Bank robber apprehended in crackhouse sting, faces 18 years in PMITA prison"

"Tina Fey gets big laughs for Palin SNL sketch. ROFL!"

 
Mija 2008-09-15 12:30:26 AM  
Great Janitor: My mom Friday night questioned me about how I'm living in sin with my girlfriend of 2 years. I told her that when you're not a Christian, there is no sin, and secondly, it's not pre-marital sex when you plan to never get married.

You're a mix up young man.

 
Mija 2008-09-15 12:31:13 AM  
And preview is my friend

*mixed

 
TheRaven7 2008-09-15 12:31:54 AM  
Why do FARKers hate marriage so much? Is it because you so strongly believe the absolutley re-farking-tarded meme that marriage = no sex that you never get any? Seriously, just because you are an epic failure of a husband/wife doesn't give you the right to criticize other people for being in a non-fail marriage. Look in the mirror before you spout off shiat.

 
ParadeCam 2008-09-15 12:41:37 AM  
Yeah! Could someone please explain that to us people that don't get it?

 
cretinbob [TotalFark] 2008-09-15 12:47:39 AM  
IchabodCrane: Sounds like an episode on Gilligan's Island...

The same thing happened to Mr. and Mrs. Howell. The skipper re-performed the marriage ceremony on a raft in the lagoon.


Yeah that's it. I think they did it in M*A*S*H or something too.

 
TheRaven7 2008-09-15 12:47:58 AM  
www.halcyon.com

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-09-15 12:49:05 AM  
TheRaven7: Why do FARKers hate marriage so much? Is it because you so strongly believe the absolutley re-farking-tarded meme that marriage = no sex that you never get any? Seriously, just because you are an epic failure of a husband/wife doesn't give you the right to criticize other people for being in a non-fail marriage. Look in the mirror before you spout off shiat.

My fav is the idea that everyone who goes to jail/prison, no matter what they did, will be/deserves to get raped, never mind statistics putting it under 5%. (still too large, of course)
Suppose it's a coping mechanism of some kind. Against all the pussy they'd surely be getting were it not for the 'ol ball and chain.

 
RagnarIV 2008-09-15 01:03:40 AM  
Brown Jenkems: H_is_for_Heretic: Because that's what he wanted, a scrapbook. Technically should be rubies, definitely should not be a rearranged photo album.

Seriously. That's a gift? I hope he got her a toilet brush vacuum cleaner.


FTFY

 
Cosmic Crab 2008-09-15 01:09:14 AM  
Megain: ftfaThat's because the priest who preformed the ceremony at St. Peter in Chains Cathedral, the Rev. Frances Kennedy - who later became Monsignor Kennedy - made a mistake.preformed? huh

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a preformal monogamy.

 
tetheredswimming 2008-09-15 01:12:02 AM  
This is stupid. They're obviously married under the common law.

 
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