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(Fox News) Silly Money don't buy brains dept.: Idiot sues for broken umbrella he claims is worth $5000. Bonus: judge fines attorney for waste of judicial resources   (foxnews.com) divider line 52
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beerrun [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 04:41:43 PM  
He should have been the judge on the $50 million pair of pants case.

 
strangeguitar 2008-09-13 05:49:25 PM  
This guy has some pricey umbrellas:
i98.photobucket.com

 
LargeCanine 2008-09-13 06:04:12 PM  
Its awsome that he fined the lawyer 500 dollars. Wish it were more.

 
Tsunami Ditka 2008-09-13 06:06:53 PM  
3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

 
antialias [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 06:09:08 PM  
The idea that anyone would believe that a farking umbrella was worth more than a few bucks just astounds me.

 
LargeCanine 2008-09-13 06:09:50 PM  
"All the extravagance and incompetence of our present government is due, in the main, to lawyers.They are responsible for nine-tenths of the useless and vicious laws that now clutter the statute-books, and for all the evils that go with the vain attempt to enforce them. Every Federal judge is a lawyer. So are most Congressmen. Every invasion of the plain rights of the citizen has a lawyer behind it. If all lawyers were hanged tomorrow, and their bones sold to a mah jong factory, we'd all be freer and safer, and our taxes would be reduced by almost a half." - H.L. Mencken.

 
Bob Ondeeznuts 2008-09-13 06:09:57 PM  
img.dailymail.co.uk

 
soupergenyus 2008-09-13 06:13:06 PM  
Remove all Republicans: What's wrong with this claim? She took his umbrella and broke it. If it cost him $5000, he's entitled to the money. We need to eliminate activist judges like this and let a jury decide if she did it on purpose or not. This is a horrible precedent to allow.

He sued for a million... That just might be a waste of judicial resources

 
DigitalCoffee 2008-09-13 06:13:06 PM  
Judge was later heard asking the bailiff, "Do you have any idea what it's like to sit here night after night and watch this endless parade of human debris floating by?"

/igneous rocks

 
Ms.Maus 2008-09-13 06:14:46 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

ELITISTS!!1

 
hotmustard 2008-09-13 06:18:25 PM  
she should pay him for the press . . Supermodel? I ain't never heard of her?

 
sombreradoraloca 2008-09-13 06:19:22 PM  
Nice.

 
Je5tEr 2008-09-13 06:21:44 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

FAIL.

"said to be worth" in no way equals someone actually spent that for it.

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-09-13 06:21:48 PM  
Ms.Maus: Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!



www.sptimes.com

Do you expect me to put a dollar store umbrella into my $16,000 umbrella stand?

Stupid poor people... this is why you are not rich.

 
yoyopro 2008-09-13 06:22:57 PM  
antialias
The idea that anyone would believe that a farking umbrella was worth more than a few bucks just astounds me.

Well, the unbreakable steel umbrella goes for $179 - not quite five grand (which I do find ridiculous), but certainly more than a few bucks and it looks like it's worth it.

 
684 2008-09-13 06:27:45 PM  
Hero tag for the judge!

 
Cosmic Crab 2008-09-13 06:28:32 PM  
The faux-leather Jean-Paul Gaultier umbrella goes for around $160.
www.brolliesgalore.co.uk
Definitely not an umbrella for serious rain.

 
hasty ambush 2008-09-13 06:28:42 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

Maybe he had the ghey

 
Neurochemist 2008-09-13 06:29:09 PM  
Judge is a hero. This should automatic in any case in which someone sues and loses... A HUGE FINANCIAL impact.

 
cretinbob [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 06:29:31 PM  
This is why the judicial branch IS important.

Legislators would argue for 6 months and end up doing nothing either way, executive would have handed over the $5000.

 
Stickdeath 2008-09-13 06:29:51 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

Maybe it injects that ricin poison? Well, it better for that price.

 
cretinbob [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 06:31:00 PM  
cretinbob: This is why the judicial branch IS important.

Legislators would argue for 6 months and end up doing nothing either way, executive would have handed over the $5000 1000000.


ftfms

 
skazzytl 2008-09-13 06:41:52 PM  
"Emotional Damages" for a damaged $5k umbrella are worth $1 million? I think the judge did the right thing by throwing out the case and fining the attorney.

 
Nidiot 2008-09-13 06:52:13 PM  
beerrun: He should have been the judge on the $50 million pair of pants case.

Worth repeating.

 
antialias [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 06:53:16 PM  
yoyopro: Well, the unbreakable steel umbrella goes for $179 - not quite five grand (which I do find ridiculous), but certainly more than a few bucks and it looks like it's worth it.

Ok, that...is pretty damn cool. From the maker's website: "Ideal self-defense weapons are those that are legal to carry everywhere" - I'd pay extra for that. Too bad they don't make them electrified, too, like a cattle prod.

 
buckup23 2008-09-13 07:05:43 PM  
I am starting to regain my faith in man.(and woman)

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 07:12:54 PM  
Wanted for questioning

www.greatmovietour.co.uk

 
La Fee Verte 2008-09-13 07:20:46 PM  
Bob Ondeeznuts That's not Le Call, that was another blond hanging around Owen Wilson, labeled as Le Call.

This is Le Call
evilbeetgossip.film.com
supermodels.nl

This story (pop) is almost a year old, I'm glad it got dismissed. Nello Balan is known to use models to atrack wealthy clientele. He can afford to buy another expensive umbrella.

And yes, here name is Le (pronounced as Lee), short for LeAnn, and is rumoured to work as a call girl. She was hired to accompany Owen after his 'incident', to make him seem to be healthy.

Here's (pop) is an article about her, getting a free bicicle from another restaurant owner.

 
zamboni 2008-09-13 07:25:50 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

wotskool.files.wordpress.com

It was raining.

 
antialias [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 07:27:28 PM  
La Fee Verte: This is Le Call...Here's (pop) is an article about her, getting a free bicicle from another restaurant owner.

Too bad they didn't give her something to eat. What did she need an umbrella for? She'd have to jump from side to side to get hit by the raindrops.

 
Joker you diabolical... 2008-09-13 07:27:42 PM  
strangeguitar: This guy has some pricey umbrellas:

That reminds me, a sculpted egg worth $5,000 is going to be shown at the Gotham Museum this month.

 
UnoriginalAndrew 2008-09-13 07:38:08 PM  
As a lazy law student, I'm gonna count reading this thread as my studying.

 
foil helmet guy 2008-09-13 08:14:32 PM  
i270.photobucket.com
Supreme Court Justice Joan. A. Madden

 
Miss Smartass 2008-09-13 08:25:17 PM  
Where is Mr. Krabs with the Umbrella he's selling at the yard sale.
/seriously, fark, jeeez

 
soj4life 2008-09-13 08:30:17 PM  
Remove all Republicans: soupergenyus: Remove all Republicans: What's wrong with this claim? She took his umbrella and broke it. If it cost him $5000, he's entitled to the money. We need to eliminate activist judges like this and let a jury decide if she did it on purpose or not. This is a horrible precedent to allow.

He sued for a million... That just might be a waste of judicial resources

Let a jury decide. He did suffer emotional damages. This is kind of crap judges do when people sue the federal government: hide behind the law. Judges should be focusing on what's right, not always what's the law.


You do know rule 1 of trolling is to not leave additional comments.

so you want to continue to clog up the court's and jury's time with frivolous lawsuits? the judges always have to side with the law, it is their job; without law anyway, there will be anarchy. and what kind of man has emotional stress over a woman's umbrella breaking?

 
brantgoose 2008-09-13 08:40:53 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

Especially since the world's most expensive umbrella, made from ox hide and a 100 year old German frame by Ho Hung Hee, only cost $2,000.

Look it up! Google is so much fun! It makes you look like you know things 'n' stuff.

 
lilbjorn 2008-09-13 08:42:49 PM  
Judge should get the img1.fark.net tag.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 08:49:01 PM  
Tsunami Ditka: 3 posts in and nobody's yet asked why the hell someone would spend 5000 on a farking umbrella?!?!

strangeguitar answered that pretty handily. If my umbrella could fly and spray purple gas that knocked out Batman, I'd pay $5000 for it. I'm not sure I'd pay if the Penguin was attached, though.

 
brantgoose 2008-09-13 08:52:25 PM  
I like to pay $60-80 for a good umbrella. More than that and you are paying for the snob appeal of a designer name, less than that and they don't last. My London Fog umbrella still works after more than a decade, even though it is so worn it has small holes.

According to the umbrella manufacturers, the average lifespan of an umbrella is 18 months--the same, by coincidence, as the the lifespan of a rat.

In Europe you could buy umbrellas (in the early 80s) with life-time warranties--if they broke you mailed them to Knirp and Knirp fixed them. I don't think you can even get them repaired here.

This is the disposable society. We really should fix that before it fixes us.

 
mama's_tasty_foods 2008-09-13 08:54:49 PM  
Good for the judge, hopefully the bar association will discipline this lawyer.

If my client's case got bumped from the trial docket so some crap like this could go forward, I'd be pissed.

 
DKnight 2008-09-13 09:39:36 PM  
Remove all Republicans: soj4life: so you want to continue to clog up the court's and jury's time with frivolous lawsuits?

Who are YOU to say it is frivolous? She broke his umbrella. Period. There's a case there.

soj4life: what kind of man has emotional stress over a woman's umbrella breaking?

Sure, blame the victim. If someone gets emotional over an assault, you don't blame the victim. If someone loses their life savings, you don't blame the victim. If a homeless man had lost the box which was his only possession in the world, you wouldn't blame the victim. So why blame him?


There is a reason that judges have the option of dismissing a case as frivolous. The courts, like all things, are a limited resource and need to avoid wasting tax money (operational costs) on junk like this.

Your "examples" don't make the least amount of sense. This man did not have his life ruined by the loss of a $5000 umbrella. If he can afford that, he won't be missing meals due to the replacement cost. Compared to that, a person that is physically beaten, or losing all their worldly possessions is much more severe crime. You were picking up a grain of sand and proclaiming it a mountain, IMO.

The man should have simply sent the umbrella breaker a bill for the thing, and stop wasting court time. If she doesn't pay, that's what collection companies are for. He's probably an attention whore for the $1 million claim to boot.

 
antialias [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 09:49:32 PM  
DKnight: Your "examples" don't make the least amount of sense.

Yeah...he knows. You got trolled.

 
Cog [TotalFark] 2008-09-13 09:56:25 PM  
DKnight: Remove all Republicans: soj4life: so you want to continue to clog up the court's and jury's time with frivolous lawsuits?

Who are YOU to say it is frivolous? She broke his umbrella. Period. There's a case there.

soj4life: what kind of man has emotional stress over a woman's umbrella breaking?

Sure, blame the victim. If someone gets emotional over an assault, you don't blame the victim. If someone loses their life savings, you don't blame the victim. If a homeless man had lost the box which was his only possession in the world, you wouldn't blame the victim. So why blame him?

There is a reason that judges have the option of dismissing a case as frivolous. The courts, like all things, are a limited resource and need to avoid wasting tax money (operational costs) on junk like this.

Your "examples" don't make the least amount of sense. This man did not have his life ruined by the loss of a $5000 umbrella. If he can afford that, he won't be missing meals due to the replacement cost. Compared to that, a person that is physically beaten, or losing all their worldly possessions is much more severe crime. You were picking up a grain of sand and proclaiming it a mountain, IMO.

The man should have simply sent the umbrella breaker a bill for the thing, and stop wasting court time. If she doesn't pay, that's what collection companies are for. He's probably an attention whore for the $1 million claim to boot.


Don't feed the troll.

 
Lambeau 2008-09-13 10:18:37 PM  
"Mr. White, I don't think Rolex makes a clock radio an umbrella..."

/got nuthin'
//well, except that ^^^

 
Doc Batarang 2008-09-13 10:38:47 PM  
Why even pay for an umbrella?

Just go to the lost-and-found and ask for a black one.

 
taurusowner 2008-09-13 10:57:55 PM  
Remove all Republicans: soupergenyus: Remove all Republicans: What's wrong with this claim? She took his umbrella and broke it. If it cost him $5000, he's entitled to the money. We need to eliminate activist judges like this and let a jury decide if she did it on purpose or not. This is a horrible precedent to allow.

He sued for a million... That just might be a waste of judicial resources

Let a jury decide. He did suffer emotional damages. This is kind of crap judges do when people sue the federal government: hide behind the law. Judges should be focusing on what's right, not always what's the law.


FAIL. Elected legislatures are for creating laws about what society feels is "right". Judges are there to interpret and enforce the law. That's it.

 
Lots43 2008-09-13 11:18:52 PM  
A 1200 dollar umbrella doesn't do CRAP for Florida's sideways rain.

 
vwarb 2008-09-13 11:29:43 PM  
i have to say, it takes a special kind of person to take the time to troll a farking umbrella thread. anyway, thanks Remove all Republicans, i LOLed

 
Supes 2008-09-14 12:50:11 AM  
Personally I want the WiFi umbrella (new window) which glows when there's a good chance of rain.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-09-14 06:14:02 AM  
DigitalCoffee: Do you have any idea what it's like to sit here night after night and watch this endless parade of human debris floating by

www.movieactors.com

 
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