I would like to have sex with her

Have you ever seen Fiona Apple and Angelina Jolie in the same room together?

No, you haven't.




/think about it

((BOING))

What do we call a chump when it's a broad?

She's only 31?

I always thought she was pushing 35-38 by now...

/Shows what I know.

"31 today! What a thing to say..."

Anybody else wank to that video when you were 12?

JohnnyRebel88: I would like to have sex with her

yes, but do you have the strong urge and desire to pound her so slow, yet so fierce,bruising her vulva making it look like a purple donut?


then unloading a hearty portion of ghoulash at her deepest depth?

Wow, it never occurred to me before, but this video definitely begot all those creepy American Apparel ads.

Hines Ward: What do we call a chump when it's a broad?

you?

OH LAWDY, how I loved that asse!

I guess there's always greener pastures.

/Somewhere.

//Not in Birmingham, AL

Easy Reader: I guess there's always greener pastures.

/Somewhere.

//Not in Birmingham, AL

aliendave: Anybody else wank to that video when you were 12?

Between that video, the spice girls, and gratuitous amounts of jenny mccarthy on mtv, it was a rather good era for my developing perversive tendencies...


/developing perversive tendencies = fap fap fap

She's an extraordinary machine.

Ruby7: Wow, it never occurred to me before, but this video definitely begot all those creepy American Apparel ads.

This video was in response to the "Heroin Chic" that was popular at the time, so those ads begot this video.

/ Me likey Fiona

Fist. Angry God. Batshiat insane PETA supporter too, the crazy ones are always the best in bed.

Kali-Yuga

... Batshiat insane PETA supporter too.....

I'd force her to eat the wiener.

She's like what the Olsen Twins could have been if they just had ate eaten some sammiches...

/I know - she;s thin.. but they're really thin

I have been in love with Fiona Apple for 13 years.

She is my future ex-wife after all! so, all you "no, I will have sex with her" farkers just need to step the hell off my kool aid!

/I would do things to her that are probably illegal in most places.
//even Tijuana!

peachpicker: Have you ever seen Fiona Apple and Angelina Jolie in the same room together?

No, you haven't.

Now ask me if I'd like to.

She looks like one of those tiny people that slap you around in bed.

/just sayin'

every year she visits the place i used to work. (farm/school/camp). of course i was never there when she visited :p

StormDawg: peachpicker: Have you ever seen Fiona Apple and Angelina Jolie in the same room together?

No, you haven't.

Now ask me if I'd like to.

preferably with me and my wife in my bed...with no clothes on

/yeah. I said it.

I never noticed before but she looks like she's constantly trying to squeeze out a stuck load in that video.

aliendave: Anybody else wank to that video when you were 12?

No.

/yes

Of course I would. I would do her in the pooper.

I always got the impression that she was nuttier than a peanut farm.

Having said that, I would still like to put my gametes into her fallopian tubes.

Her sister Maude Maggart is by far a better vehicle for my lust...


By vehicle I mean a flying fist and squinty eyes as I imagine her trying to keep her forehead from slamming into the headboard of my bed as I make like a jackhammer and scream obscenities at the back of her head.

Some call it love.

aliendave: Anybody else wank to that video when you were 12?

Not really, she would have been 9 years old when I was twelve. Now? Yes indeed! I don't know how such a big sound could come out of such a little girl. She writes all of her own music and performs it as she sees fit. I think she is wonderful.

/goddamn kids, get of my lawn!

skippytheferret: By vehicle I mean a flying fist and squinty eyes as I imagine her trying to keep her forehead from slamming into the headboard of my bed as I make like a jackhammer and scream obscenities at the back of her head.

damn skippy, you are a magnificent bastard. That is some funny shiat right there.

Since nobody's mentioned it yet, I would like to mention that I think that having sex with Ms. Apple would just be great.

Maddogjew: skippytheferret: By vehicle I mean a flying fist and squinty eyes as I imagine her trying to keep her forehead from slamming into the headboard of my bed as I make like a jackhammer and scream obscenities at the back of her head.

damn skippy, you are a magnificent bastard. That is some funny shiat right there.

Call the shots as I see 'em.

She was touring with a blue grass band a few years ago. It was weird to hear her songs with banjos and no drums, but it was actually really good.

She's talented.

Not as talented as she thinks, but pretty talented.

/would hit it
/and hit it again