"I like a biiig booty"

"And I like blow jobs. I hear it's a tradition on your side."

"You say she had ass for days. Like this?"

"Yep. And when I hit it like this, you could serve a 3-course meal on it."

obama: "i like to grab her by the hips like this."

mccain: "if you do it like this, you can also smack her on the ass."

cindy: "..."

My piano playing sounds better than your accordian.

"John, WTF is up with all the lies about me in your ads lately?"

"Barack, did you know it's been so long since I've cut the grass at my seven houses that it's up to here now?"

BO: "I was all like 'brick, brick, brick'"

JM: "No, you needed to be all like 'Are you ready to receive my AIDS?' Okay, good, here we go."

Obama: "You see da girl to get the booty action."

Both: "Leg 'er down 'n' smackem yackem."

McCain: "Cold got to be."

/Golly!

"You really like your pancakes THIS big?"

"Yeah. And really flat. Do they still make bananas like that?"

"What?"

Obama: Naw, for real, son. My shiat is this big.

McCain: Man, I bet you got them hoes down on their hands like this.

Haiku:

Every time I lie,
the feeling comes over me,
and I bust a nut.

Obama: "I work on the strut"

McCain: "It don't mean butt, if it ain't got that jut."

"John, you doddering old fool, you're always a beat behind when we do the Macarena"

Having not looked at the photo, I know for a fact that whatever they are saying contains the word "change."

Obama: Dude, she has a huge ass!

McCain: Yeah, I bent that shiat over and farkin' tapped it.

Obama: You be messin with this pimpin?

McCain: It's cool brotha, just gamin on ya.

Obama: Dude, my dick is this big!

McCain: hold it now, I don't have a dick anymore.

Holy f*ck McCain is old.

Obama: "You know...uh..uh there is some important...uh things we should discuss, you know, because America is...uh... important.

McCain: "I don't care. I want to, and I deserve to be president. I hired that foxy girl for very precise reasons, but since I'm a maverick I'm not going to explain those particular reasons to you."

Obama: Have you ever heard of a wish sandwich? A wish sandwich is the kind of a sandwich where you have two slices of bread and you, hee hee hee, wish you had some meat...

McCain: Bow bow bow...

"Tastes great."
"Less filling."
"Tastes great!"
"Less filling!"
"TASTES GREAT!"
"LESS FILLING!"

Obama: "your running mate has this much empty space between her ears."

McCain: "Yes, but its easy to forget when you have your hands on her ass like this."

Obama: You gotta hit it like this, old man.

McCain: This is as far as I can spread my arms. POW, son.

Obama: Tell me John, what made you choose Sarah Palin over other much more qualified running mates?

McCain: My friend, when they told me that had a VP lined up for me who was only 44 and an ex beauty queen, all I could think of was bending her over my desk in the Oval Office and hitting her from behind like this.

Well, I talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it
Talk about it...

"This wide?"

"And this high!"

"Damn!"

"Ooooo Johnny, did you just get your nails done?"

Barack: "I want to have an inclusive government"
McCain: "Whoa. Whoa. Don't get all uppity."

McCain: Is that a beehive or my wife over my shoulder? I think it might be. Therefore, I will agree with torture. Who cares that I graduated 894th out of 899 of my Naval Academy class. I'm a POW and war hero!

O: "But if he likes it so much, why don't they just give him some cereal?"

M: "Because dammit, Trix are for kids. For kids, it's always been that way."

Atillathepun: "John, you doddering old fool, you're always a beat behind when we do the Macarena"

Classic. Best in show.

BO: You know that I am the mastermind behind 9/11
JM: That's alright, I wasn't shot down; I bailed out so I could help the NVA. I told the NVA how to beat the US and became an NVA General. I wasn't tortured, I was rewarded with hookers and blow.

I was going to submit one, but lajimi's entry blew whatever I could come up with out of the water. +1

"Shake baby shake baby 1 2 3 4 Shake baby shake baby 1 2 3 4 Shake baby shake baby 1 2 3 4 oooooh yeaaahhhhhhh"

Bathia_Mapes: My piano playing sounds better than your accordian.

The farkettes, they're easy to spot.

BO: Where's my money? Does Barack Obama have to smack a biatch?
JM: Pancakes.

"So THAT'S what a "Donkey Punch means!"

"Now let's discuss the "Hot Karl".

McCain: And then she said "Sambo beat the biatch".

Obama: Nagger, what?

B: "Lets start a band, I'll play accordion"
J: "Great, I'll play drums POW POW POW?"
C: "Here he goes on again. Where did I drop that pill?"

"Yup, thiiiiis big."

"Whoah, take it down a notch, my wife's right behind you."

"Who do you think I'm talkin' to? Look, see that little smile on her face? She knows. She knows."

Invisible House Party!

Obama: Bring the Sh*T Back DJ MC KANE!
McCain: Scratchedy, Scratch, Scratch!

"Hey, John...I just wanted to thank you for the suggestion that I pick Biden."

"No problem, pal!"

I can do the robot better than you!

You think he grabbed Bristol like this?
Nah, Palin said she was bent over like this.

Obama: You did NOT just call me a "mark-ass trick!"

McCain: No, no, no! I called you a "Marxist trickster!"

O: Explain it to me again, why don't Hoverboards don't work on water?

McC: You've got to have power!

"Oh... I think its about his big, give or take"

"Heyyy, keep it down my wifes right behind us.

Obama: You caught a fish this big? Whoah.

McCain: Yes, then I skinned it and rubbed it with salt like this, and ate on that for three days until I could find my way back to civilization.

Sorry, I screwed that up. Mods, you can delete the other one.

O: Explain it to me again, why don't Hoverboards work on water?

McC: You've got to have power!