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(AP) Dumbass "And the Lord sayeth, 'verily, when another driver doth cut thou off, thee shall freaketh out and wave a firearm at him.' Amen"   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 52
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Third_Uncle_Eno 2008-09-06 08:25:26 PM  
A Preacher? With a gun? In the U.S.?

INCONCEIVABLE!!

 
HulkHands [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:31:18 PM  
It's a good thing we've fought the libruls to make sure that even-keel Americans like this one can get guns.

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:39:29 PM  
The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:43:35 PM  
Third_Uncle_Eno: A Preacher? With a gun? In the U.S.?

INCONCEIVABLE!!


"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:44:39 PM  
abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have said it before, I hang on to my guns because Republicans scare the hell out of me.

 
labman [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:44:44 PM  
Bring out the holy hand grenade!

 
ApocoLypstick [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:46:34 PM  
HulkHands: It's a good thing we've fought the libruls to make sure that even-keel Americans like this one can get guns.

abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

Yeah. 'cuz noooooooooo one can get a gun illegally in these here United States............. Oy.

 
camelclub [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 08:52:16 PM  
Often I wish I had a bulldozer blade mounted on the front of my vehicle, and it was legal to use it.

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:27:15 PM  
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Armaments 4:16-20

 
CougarJeff [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:37:31 PM  
baka-san: abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have said it before, I hang on to my guns because Republicans scare the hell out of me.


Ditto

 
T.M.S. [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:40:05 PM  
Another responsible gun owner.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:40:43 PM  
FTA: "A Hamilton County judge on Thursday sentenced Thomas Howell to two years' probation and 100 hours of community service on his conviction for aggravated menacing."

C. Thomas Howell.

C. Thomas Howell when placed under arrest.

Run, Thomas, run.

 
ultraholland 2008-09-06 09:40:47 PM  
He keeps the gun in case zombie Jesus returns offering brain nommings rather than salvation.

 
Byno 2008-09-06 09:41:10 PM  
camelclub: Often I wish I had a bulldozer blade mounted on the front of my vehicle, and it was legal to use it.

They're illegal? No one sez anything to me:

www.ontoinfo.com

 
Wight Power [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:42:37 PM  
He kicks ass... FOR THE LORD

i43.photobucket.com

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:42:39 PM  
labman: Bring out the holy hand grenade!

ecx.images-amazon.com

 
Ace Attorney 2008-09-06 09:42:43 PM  
baka-san: Third_Uncle_Eno: A Preacher? With a gun? In the U.S.?

INCONCEIVABLE!!

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."


www.carlschaad.com

you threatned my father, prepare to die

 
Byno 2008-09-06 09:43:07 PM  
Clevah girl Savior

vicissitude.net

Seriously, though, raptorJesus is wily prey.

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:47:26 PM  
Wight Power: He kicks ass... FOR THE LORD

Outstanding sir...outstanding!

/haven't seen mum yet

 
Dinjiin [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-06 09:49:10 PM  
Hrm, well this explains that guy north of Seattle who went around killing folks last week.

 
BigG 2008-09-06 09:58:16 PM  
img122.imageshack.us

 
Carl Sagan's Ghost 2008-09-06 10:00:13 PM  
Ah has ass cancer AND glaucoma? I needs some of the Holy Jesus Weed! That's right, POT! Them miracle cannabiniods will CURE my demon-caused cancer AND (breath) allow me to use the very eyes Jesus gave me in the service of the Lord!! Can Ah have an Amen? God can't hear you, say it again louder! I can't hear you, one more time for the Lord! I feels my preacher hair growing back on my head after I lost it in chemotherapy, that's a deeevine miracle too!! Do you remember in Armaments .357, chapter .45, verse .22 where it commands the faithful to threaten the demon-infested heathen driver with the mighty sidearm of righteousness? I do and I followed ....

/and I'm spent.
//How do those guys do that for hours at a time?

 
davidphogan [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 10:04:45 PM  
Carl Sagan's Ghost: That's right, POT!

It might calm him down as well.

 
thatmanfromtexas 2008-09-06 10:06:29 PM  
The judge said most gun threat cases lead to jail but Howell would be spared because the minister has prostate cancer and glaucoma.

Preacher should get a free bag of weed.
Link (new window)

CougarJeff: baka-san: abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have said it before, I hang on to my guns because Republicans scare the hell out of me.

Ditto


Obama told me you cling to them because you are bitter and resentful.

 
CornFedIowan 2008-09-06 10:15:05 PM  
dahmers love zombie: Armaments 4:16-20

labman: Bring out the holy hand grenade!

This must be from a different chapter of the Book of Armaments.

 
give me doughnuts [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 10:17:46 PM  
Has anyone in the thread read the Alan Dean Foster short-story "Why Johnny Can't Speed"?

(want one of THOSE cars)

 
iaazathot 2008-09-06 10:18:32 PM  
abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have to concur. Enough crazy fascists around where I live to bolster my support of gun rights.

 
give me doughnuts [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 10:20:59 PM  
CornFedIowan: dahmers love zombie: Armaments 4:16-20

labman: Bring out the holy hand grenade!

This must be from a different chapter of the Book of Armaments.


(The Holy) WORD!

Book of Armaments (Chapter 2, verses 9-21)

" ...And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that with it Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits, in Thy mercy." And the Lord did grin and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats and large chu... ["Skip a bit, brother"]... And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

 
iaazathot 2008-09-06 10:26:33 PM  
thatmanfromtexas: The judge said most gun threat cases lead to jail but Howell would be spared because the minister has prostate cancer and glaucoma.

Preacher should get a free bag of weed.
Link (new window)

CougarJeff: baka-san: abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have said it before, I hang on to my guns because Republicans scare the hell out of me.

Ditto

Obama told me you cling to them because you are bitter and resentful.


I am not sure you are capable of understanding what Obama said. Living in a very small rural community, I can say those statements were spot on and very accurate.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 10:28:04 PM  
An armed holy man in Ohio, with glaucoma and prostate cancer, and all he can do is chase some woman down and "threaten to shoot her and call her names"?

Come on out to LA, preacher man, and let some real disciples of road rage teach you the word of God.

 
iaazathot 2008-09-06 10:29:40 PM  
I like how he had a concealed weapons permit. I have not problem with concealed carry, but I have a lot of problems with a lot of the people I know who have them. I keep hearing these people are more careful and law abiding, but most of the ones I have known are paranoid, racist kooks.

Nice to know he was protecting himself from some housewife somewhere.

Can somebody tell me where Jesus advises his disciples to carry handguns?

 
ex-nuke 2008-09-06 10:41:16 PM  
There are two lessons to be learned here.

If you drive like an ass there is a good chance you may piss off someone who is crazy enough to pull a gun and threaten to shoot you.

Second, if you carry a gun and are so lacking in self control that you wave it around and threaten to shoot somebody for driving like an ass you may and should be arrested.

This sounds like a serious case of FAIL and FAIL. The preacher and the woman driving like an ass both got a dose of what they needed.

 
Carl Sagan's Ghost 2008-09-06 10:45:17 PM  
iaazathot: Can somebody tell me where Jesus advises his disciples to carry handguns?

You might look in Armaments .357, chapter .45, verse .22

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-09-06 10:48:43 PM  
www.mouseandthebillionaire.com

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2008-09-06 10:49:31 PM  
camelclub: Often I wish I had a bulldozer blade mounted on the front of my vehicle, and it was legal to use it.

I'd rather have two stretchers vertically suspended in front of my car, occupied by people from the internet who get into arguements and then try to run away from them by stating things like 'strawman', 'troll', etc.

/Alternatively, people who don't know how to play games saying L2Play in a luck of the draw situation, they should definitely learn to play Mad Max.

 
i ate my crayon 2008-09-06 10:53:39 PM  
Isn't "thou" the subjective case and "thee" the objective case?
Subby got them switched around. Bad subby.

/Ye Olde English Nazi

 
hogans 2008-09-06 11:05:20 PM  
i183.photobucket.com

Firearms work all right, but there's nothing like a good piece of hickory!

 
thatmanfromtexas 2008-09-06 11:15:15 PM  
iaazathot: thatmanfromtexas: The judge said most gun threat cases lead to jail but Howell would be spared because the minister has prostate cancer and glaucoma.

Preacher should get a free bag of weed.
Link (new window)

CougarJeff: baka-san: abb3w: The reason I support the right to bear arms is because people like this guy tend to vote Republican.

I have said it before, I hang on to my guns because Republicans scare the hell out of me.

Ditto

Obama told me you cling to them because you are bitter and resentful.

I am not sure you are capable of understanding what Obama said. Living in a very small rural community, I can say those statements were spot on and very accurate.


I am not sure you are capable of understanding what I said. You say he was correct about you then you are agreeing with what I said. However, not all people in small towns are religious and/or gun owners because they are bitter.

 
zamboni 2008-09-06 11:47:09 PM  
iaazathot: I like how he had a concealed weapons permit. I have not problem with concealed carry, but I have a lot of problems with a lot of the people I know who have them. I keep hearing these people are more careful and law abiding, but most of the ones I have known are paranoid, racist kooks.

Nice to know he was protecting himself from some housewife somewhere.

Can somebody tell me where Jesus advises his disciples to carry handguns?


Well, keeping in mind that there were no handguns:

Luke 22:35-38 (King James Version)

35And he said unto them, When I sent you without purse, and scrip, and shoes, lacked ye any thing? And they said, Nothing.

36Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.

37For I say unto you, that this that is written must yet be accomplished in me, And he was reckoned among the transgressors: for the things concerning me have an end.

38And they said, Lord, behold, here are two swords. And he said unto them, It is enough.

 
Inflatable Rhetoric 2008-09-06 11:53:39 PM  
camelclub: Often I wish I had a bulldozer blade mounted on the front of my vehicle, and it was legal to use it.

I'm gonna mount a paint ball gun that shoots thru the grille. With an eye-following sight.

 
Sadsaque 2008-09-07 12:48:08 AM  
Never heard of fucing "aggravated menacing" -
Is that like the "stink-eye"?
Or is it only aggravated if it's a biker - or a preacher, that's giving it?

I'm still not clear on the "cutting-off" thing -
Is the guilty party the one that changes lanes, or the asshole that speeds-up to prevent same?

Judging from the number of rear license plates displayed in a GIS of 'cut-off', I'd guess that people driving the speed limit in the left lane are 'victims' (where victim = asshole).
farm2.static.flickr.com

 
AmazingRuss 2008-09-07 01:08:35 AM  
Gyrfalcon: An armed holy man in Ohio, with glaucoma and prostate cancer, and all he can do is chase some woman down and "threaten to shoot her and call her names"?

Come on out to LA, preacher man, and let some real disciples of road rage teach you the word of God.


No shiat! Stoned, armed, pissed off, and nothing to lose...how could you not bag your limit?

 
namatad [TotalFark] 2008-09-07 01:31:23 AM  
nothing personal
but once you start waving that gun around, you lose the right to my sympathy

dont give a fark how old you are, how sick you are, who you are

wave gun like an asshat, go to farking jail

/must be one of those activist judges

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-09-07 01:57:10 AM  
Carl Sagan's Ghost: Ah has ass cancer AND glaucoma?


No, silly. Colorectal cancer is ass cancer. This old fark has TAINT cancer.

As for the glaucoma...Asswipe shouldn't be driving if he had it in the first place.

 
Saturnalia 2008-09-07 02:05:42 AM  
PRAISE ALVIS

 
baka-san [TotalFark] 2008-09-07 02:29:52 AM  
Saturnalia: PRAISE ALVIS

Oh hell yeah!

 
dj42 2008-09-07 03:21:03 AM  
The guy asked me to roll my window down after I cut him off. So I did. And he yells at me, "Eat a bag of dicks!".

 
Cynical 0 2008-09-07 04:12:19 AM  
dj42: The guy asked me to roll my window down after I cut him off. So I did. And he yells at me, "Eat a bag of dicks!".

What does a bag of dicks even look like? How would they be in there? Like a bunch of baguettes sticking out the top?

http://www.eatabagofdicks.com/

 
Mobro4000 2008-09-07 04:47:08 AM  
Well the gun nuts do say it's their "god-given right" to carry firearms. Too bad there isn't some oversized (fat) area of land(tex-ass) near some stinky country (mexico) where we can put all these rednecked wackjobs and let them kill each other while the rest of us educated and enlightened people eat our gay arugula salads in peace without the threat of religious morans and gunfire.

/i need my coffee

 
Okie Cynic 2008-09-07 10:35:45 AM  
"The cars chased each other..."



i didn't know they could do that.

 
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