(facepalm)

+1

Sought for questioning:

I hear the best security guards for this kind of job are made out of clay... Preferably a big eared man and his strangely intelligent dog.

"Will work for CHEEEESE!"

On the Job

This has less to do with poverty, and more to do with folks who have decided not to honor themselves. Dirt, seeds and water don't cost much... it's the sweat equity these poachers don't want to invest.

Came for the Wallace and Gromit reference and was not disappointed.

beerrun: Came for the Wallace and Gromit reference and was not disappointed.

Same here.

"Oooooh, I do like a nice bit of Gorgonzola!"

Cheeeeeeeese!

a fence with a lock won't do?

Oh sorry Mr. Thief, those are there to catch the foxes and small rodents that come through here. You shouldn't be here either, you might get hurt.

Subby: That was a truly appalling goke.

/would've been funny if "gherkin" had a soft j sound, rather than a hard g

I, also, came for the Wallace and Grommit references. I leave satisfied.

Call Anti-Pesto!

Garden security for hire.

All produce should be free. If the growers want to make money, they should go out on the road and earn their millions instead of just sitting there and taking advantage of public dirt, water and sun for their allotments while having a lock on distribution.


/just wanted to see how that sounded...

Wanted for questioning.

So far we've hit Wallace and Gromit, Peter Rabbit, Lord of the Rings, and the Wizard of Oz. Anyone wanna draw up a Bingo card for this?

Aldo the Wonder Dog: SHHHH!!! You may give the government the idea for a "solar tax" or something.

Oh no, I've said too much!

Also, the only reference missing is Tigger.

Robot Devil's Advocate: Also, the only reference missing is Tigger.


I beg to differ.

What about the neighborhood cop on the beet?

Came for the Wallace and Grommit
Stayed for the cheese

/mmm... cheese....

I've got an allotment, so I'm really getting a kick out of some of these replies.

We've been losing cabbages, beets and cucumbers, which given the other stuff on offer seems to point to an Eastern European diet. We haven't been losing much though, so if it's keeping some poor bugger alive then we don't mind too much.

RocketRod: This has less to do with poverty, and more to do with folks who have decided not to honor themselves. Dirt, seeds and water don't cost much... it's the sweat equity these poachers don't want to invest.

That's true if it's locals.

Farkers and thieves are the only people who read the news nowadays.

There is considerable over lap between the two demographics, I'm sure.

Makes it all the more depressing to read about vegetable gardens being raided, but at least we know where your hands are while you're squidging* it up against the wall on Fark.com.

It's a public service site, really.

*Speaking of dens of thieves, Bromwell High, Season One (and the possibly the only), is out on DVD. It's about a London state school full of scoundrels with hearts of gold. Plus at least one English girl.

The "squidging it up against the wall" is one of the delightful malapropisms of the Principal, a demented, eccentric and thoroughly corrupt Iranian, who is partners in crime with Mr. Bibbs, the sociopathic geography teacher with the charming public school manners and accent who has the morals of a garbage scow rat.

It comes with my highest recommendation: it's worth watching the reruns on TV even though I already own the DVDs.

Vylette: Wanted for questioning.

You stole what?


Whats did you steal?

On the case.

/yes, it was done, but the thread needed more

Bad post. The fail is strong with me today.

brantgoose: sociopathic geography teacher

But why repeat yourself? (I'll be here all week)

Seriously though, I don't think I've ever had a sane geography/social studies teacher.

beerrun: Came for the Wallace and Gromit reference and was not disappointed.

Came to see if anyone was going to be disappointed looking for a Wallace & Gromit, was not disappointed.

Only slightly disappointed that it took 4 posts to get the Wallace and Gromit, was the first thing through my mind when I read the title.

RocketRod: This has less to do with poverty, and more to do with folks who have decided not to honor themselves. Dirt, seeds and water don't cost much... it's the sweat equity these poachers don't want to invest.

Which is retarded. That and the release of a number of studies out lately that gardening is a healthy mind exercise and some of the compounds in good 'ol dirt may actually enhance those "happy chemicals" in our brains.

Guard the gherkins with Gurkhas.

This just in!

People who steal aren't good people.

beerrun: Came for the Wallace and Gromit reference and was not disappointed.

'Ello Grommy!

Tom and Barbara Good, unavailable for comment.

I came here for witty responses, and all I got were people not disappointed by the Wallace and Gromit references.

/WTF is a Wallace and Gromit?

Just plant several zucchini plants. The thieves could try stealing it every day, and there still would be too much zucchini.

Guilty as charged.

WTF is an "allotment"?

Wanted?

Lettuce not beet a dead horse here or you're wind up in a pickle. Relish life and get out there and work so you can make enough cabbage so you can buy your own veggies

The sad thing is that most veggie growers I know would be only too happy to give way some produce to people - I know I give away about as much as I keep from my small backyard garden. I guess somehow asking for help is more demeaning than resorting to stealing.