So Rohypnol is the new staple of a romantic dinner?

I caught up with a friend on the phone (both our children started kindergarten this week) after making dinner and feeding everyone, then walked my 13-month-old around the block 10 times to get him to sleep and came home and sat on the couch.

I think we found the problem here.

Did our parents do this? I know mine didn't. I was put in the crib, told it was sleep time, and the door was closed. I'm sure I cried a few times, but soon enough I learned that it was sleep time.

Then my parents had sex, I'm sure.

I heard this a year or two ago. I'm surprised this wasn't written by Ric Romero.

/2 young children
//sleep over sex in the evening - and that's with us in bed before 10
///set the alarm for before the children get up

Surely you jest that sleep is more important than SEX!

/I sleep a lot
//unfortunately
///*cries*

With roofies you can have it both ways.

Actually, I've always thought waking up together was far more intimate than having sex. But that's just me.

Benevolent Misanthrope: Actually, I've always thought waking up together was far more intimate than having sex. But that's just me.

I thought that said wanking, and was about to agree.

Too bad it's not the other way around, I get sleep every night. . .

FTFA: My husband refuses to take advantage of me when I'm not awake, so no sex was had.

That uncaring bastard!

Benevolent Misanthrope: Actually, I've always thought waking up together was far more intimate than having sex. But that's just me.

No. It's nice but not more intimate. Perhaps if you were able to keep one from leaving right away and not having to pay it'd be intimate.

The husband doesn't want to wake her up with sex? Don't be such a damn prude. What good is a marriage if you can't release your inner pervert?

Benevolent Misanthrope: Actually, I've always thought waking up together was far more intimate than having sex. But that's just me.

If by waking up together, you mean I wake up to the the alarm, and I have to roll her out of bed, with the tv and radio on 11, then I have no clue what you're talking about.

/unless you mean the wake her up with sex
//she is a very awesome girl

When you are asleep, you'll never know when you get tea-bagged.

While I sleep my husband has sex. He gets home about 4AM and sneaks back into bed.

cksewell: While I sleep my husband has sex. He gets home about 4AM and sneaks back into bed.

Stray pubes always give it away.

I guess my husband was sharing this painful reality with a female co-worker who has two small children

I guess her husband is looking to get some action on the side.

vaconex: No. It's nice but not more intimate. Perhaps if you were able to keep one from leaving right away and not having to pay it'd be intimate.

I don't know if "intimate" is the right word for it, but the wake-up can certainly be a viscerally uncomfortable experience.

"Morning! Wow, that sun is bright. Ah - well, I've just - is that my sock over there? Can you pass it to me? Yeah, I slept well, it was great. No, that's okay, I really don't eat breakfast very often. I know they say you should, though. It makes you... less hungry. Uh - well, I'll give you a call sometime, okay? Yeah, it was - yeah. Have fun. Bye."

...then Ambien is the new Viagra!

/I have both in the medicine cabinet
//I don't really need either
///but they're both fun

I have always been a fan of morning wood.

Earguy: I caught up with a friend on the phone (both our children started kindergarten this week) after making dinner and feeding everyone, then walked my 13-month-old around the block 10 times to get him to sleep and came home and sat on the couch.

I think we found the problem here.

Did our parents do this? I know mine didn't. I was put in the crib, told it was sleep time, and the door was closed. I'm sure I cried a few times, but soon enough I learned that it was sleep time.

Then my parents had sex, I'm sure.

My parents didn't do that either. They had a similar food policy, as I recall.

"What's for dinner?"
"Food. Try it, you'll like it."
"What if I don't?"
"Then you don't have to eat."

AbbeySomeone: I have always been a fan of morning wood.

I usually cuts 10 minutes off my morning routine!

Earguy: I was put in the crib, told it was sleep time, and the door was closed. I'm sure I cried a few times, but soon enough I learned that it was sleep time.

Then my parents had sex, I'm sure.

Well, my parent never had sex


NEVER!!

/lalalalalalalalalalala!!!

Don't husbands try to have sex with their wives while they're sleeping?

I mean when she wakes up and sees what's going on it's not like she's gonna say "Wtf!?"

Anyone who says "_____ is the new _____" is wasting our oxygen.

LegacyDL: Don't husbands try to have sex with their wives while they're sleeping?

I mean when she wakes up and sees what's going on it's not like she's gonna say "Wtf!?"

No, "WTF" is exactly what they say.

I just tore one off with my girlfriend so I'm getting a kick, etc.

/it's her birthday tomorrow
//got an early start on the fun

Ladies, you can have a low libido, or a faithful relationship.

Never both.

Fark Me with a Chainsaw: Ladies, you can have a low libido, or a faithful relationship.

Never both.

Or, ya know, neither.

Shhh shhh, just go back to sleep, I didn't mean to wake you.

Smeggy Smurf: tore one off

Who the hell talks like that? Are you smoking the ecstasy? Shooting cocaine? Or whatever it is your your drug addled hippy lingo?

t3knomanser: Smeggy Smurf: tore one off

Who the hell talks like that? Are you smoking the ecstasy? Shooting cocaine? Or whatever it is your your drug addled hippy lingo?

I think he means he fired off some knuckle children.

st.theresa: Fark Me with a Chainsaw: Ladies, you can have a low libido, or a faithful relationship.

Never both.

Or, ya know, neither.

true, forgot that one

t3knomanser: Smeggy Smurf: tore one off

Who the hell talks like that? Are you smoking the ecstasy? Shooting cocaine? Or whatever it is your your drug addled hippy lingo?

I picked it up from Grandpa when he handed down his onion off his belt.

I'm a true romantic.

From the internets:


You think about it all the time.

Every seven seconds? MORE.

You talk about it, brag and make jokes.
"Oh man, you won't even believe how many hours it lasted."
"You're kidding! All I got last night was a five-minute quickie!"

The fact of the matter is, you NEED it.

We all have our "requirements." Our "quotas."

Don't be ashamed.

It's perfectly natural!

And, like it or not, everyone does it.

Our grandparents did it... Oprah does it... In fact, your mom is probably doing it right now.

And if you don't get enough?

You're not alone.

The nights are the worst.

That's when you walk down the halls knowing that EVERYONE AROUND YOU IS GETTIN' SOME.

Sleep: the sex of our generation.
...the nights are the worst...

kidsizedcoffin: I'm a true romantic.

Thread over.

I am 42. I would easily trade some OK sex for a night of perfect sleep. Not every time, but most of the time.

Sex is better than sleep.

I show up for work with bags under my eyes and a shiat-eating grin most days.

fark till nothing but powder comes out, people. It's the secret to happiness.

You CAN have both!

Nothing says "love" like fumbly half awake sex, where you have to ask in the morning if it was all just a dream. Bonus points for if a participant snores.

Benevolent Misanthrope: Actually, I've always thought waking up together was far more intimate than having sex. But that's just me.

Whoever you are married to must be PISSED!

/ghey

So your married guys (fools?), educate us single guys on why we should restrict ourselves to 1 woman for the rest of our lives who's too tried to put out?

Those wives are what keep escort girls in business.

Fark Me with a Chainsaw: Ladies, you can have a low libido, or a faithful relationship.

Never both.

YES!

+1Trillion-million NEW HIGH SCORE!!!

Sex is my platform!

Jules Winnfield: So your married guys (fools?), educate us single guys on why we should restrict ourselves to 1 woman for the rest of our lives who's too tried to put out?

Those wives are what keep escort girls in business.

Raising a pack of potential organ donors? Who knows when I'll need a bit of liver or a spare kidney.

Jules Winnfield: So your married guys (fools?), educate us single guys on why we should restrict ourselves to 1 woman for the rest of our lives who's too tried to put out?

It's the difference between freelancing and working for a big company. Freelancing pays way better, but you've gotta work your ass off to make sure you keep landing gigs, and you've generally gotta be willing to travel and do all the businesstard stuff that most people hate doing. Working for a big company is steady, lower paying, but also comes with benefits. Neither one is the right choice for everyone.

Single life? Good. Married life? Good if it's the right person.

As for sex, I appreciate the offer but I'm a little tired tonight.

ChaoticLimbs: Sex is better than sleep.

I show up for work with bags under my eyes and a shiat-eating grin most days.

fark till nothing but powder comes out, people. It's the secret to happiness.


Pap Smear, over here Doc.

Sigh, at this point I'm Rip Van farking Winkle, someone shoot me.

Need someone to help me lose a few night's sleep.

But how are women going to withhold sleep from you?