"He estimates that he drinks five nights a week, parties all weekend, and studies only the night before finals, if then. He had been putting himself through school gambling online, but he ran into a streak of bad luck and now owes about $12,000."

Define-O'-

b-b-b-b-b-but partying is so much fun!! STAY AWAY FROM MY FUN!

or as we call it here, Saturday night

/Bitter
//clinging to my porn, beer, and aimlessnes.
///could be worse. Could be guns n jebus.

also a great name for a band.
Guns 'n' Jebus.

vudukungfu: /Bitter
//clinging to my porn, beer, and aimlessnes.
///could be worse. Could be guns n jebus.

also a great name for a band.
Guns 'n' Jebus.

And I thought you were going to go with 'Porn, Beer, and Aimlessness'

This is why I predict that women will run EVERYTHING in 15-20 years.

Holy FSM! Thanks for reminding me... WTF am I doing reading this when there's beer in the fridge and plenty of kittens to kill?

I guess I'll submit that resume on Tuesday...

that's an awful lot of words that could have been summed up a lot easier with "these kids today!"

ginger_fretelli: also a great name for a band.
Guns 'n' Jebus.

Or the theme for the Republican Convention.

FTA:
Serious and earnest, Brian is putting himself through school by working two jobs off campus.... Dave had been putting himself through school gambling online, but he ran into a streak of bad luck and now owes about $12,000.

"I don't understand Dave, never did," Brian says. "But he's my friend anyway, and he invites me to the cool parties, which, I confess, I never go to."

Seems like Dave is hoping for some help in the future when Brian has a good job and he's still stuck in debt...

I remember when women liked men for who they were and brought something to the table other than a pose and a fork to say so.

Sorry if you don't.

If your biggest problem is porn and beer you're not a failure, you're a joke.

If you think that this whole gender angst industry is pertinent to anything important, it's on you.

pnkgtr: This is why I predict that women will run EVERYTHING in 15-20 years.

It'll never happen, they can't even get along with each other. Get anymore than 3 or 4 of them together and all they do is fight. Usually they pick out one to either ostracize or torment, hoping she'll kill herself.

I blame Maxim. Juvenile humor and misogyny will always move product, but you don't have to dumb it down to that extent. Without Maxim I don't think we would have had Axe bodyspray, or "Epic Movie".

MyNameIsMofuga: ginger_fretelli: also a great name for a band.
Guns 'n' Jebus.

Or the theme for the Republican Convention.

I chortled, if that helps.

I worked my @$$ off from the age of 16-21. Moved out from home, and had to get a full time job while still in high school. Then I started college while still in high school. Was ingaged in college with a cheating #$@^%^. Now I have a career, no wife (oh did she get fat. seen her not long ago), and party my ass off.

It's not that these guys have no aim or anything. It's just they watch guys like me and see what happens to them when they try so hard. They just skip all the hard work, and go to the finish line. I wish I was that smart back then.

/no, not really bitter
//I really would it different if I could do it over

That's so gay.

FTFA: ...These are the guys who are devising elaborately sadomasochistic hazing rituals for high-school athletic teams, collegiate fraternities, or military squads...

...the playful bonding of the locker room, the sacrificial love of the foxhole, the courageous tenacity of the firehouse or police station - has a darker side...

...It is a social space as well as a time zone - a pure, homosocial Eden, uncorrupted by the sober responsibilities of adulthood. The motto of Guyland is simple: "Bros Before Hos."...

To fap, or not to fap?

ginger_fretelli:

And I thought you were going to go with 'Porn, Beer, and Aimlessness'

That was before I saw your profile.

vudukungfu: ginger_fretelli:

And I thought you were going to go with 'Porn, Beer, and Aimlessness'

That was before I saw your profile.

*twirls hair* mmm...what? I don't get it?

paygun: that's an awful lot of words that could have been summed up a lot easier with "these kids today!"

Yea, basically. I am not sure exactly what agitates the author so much. I guess he found some people that aren't being good little drones and it does not compute?

TFA: We sit together in one of the many snack bars around campus. "I don't understand Dave, never did," Brian says. "But he's my friend anyway, and he invites me to the cool parties, which, I confess, I never go to."

"Listen," Dave replies, "he doesn't understand me? I think it's great to want to have a career and all, but Brian is, like, so tight, you know. He's such a go-getter. He doesn't get that college is about parties and fun - oh, and did I mention the drinking?" He laughs.

Yeah, that sounds believable.

pnkgtr: This is why I predict that women will run EVERYTHING in 15-20 years.

Yeah... men being lazy alcoholics is a new thing.

freakymescan: Now I have a career, no wife (oh did she get fat. seen her not long ago), and party my ass off.

There it is.

Dumbarse article.

By "growing up" women really mean marrying them and the husband surrendering half of his financial resources.

For centuries guys had to trade marriage and freedom for sexual urges. The advent of birth controls and female sexual liberation cancelled that. Current divorce laws favoring women probably don't encourage men to "grow up" either.

Besides, about half of women aren't "growing up", translation, getting married, having kids, and settling for a white-picket fenced home in the suburbs.

Hypocrisy all around.

FTA Boys to men: Why guys aren't growing up

Is this guy assuming somehow guys ever DID grow up? Because I've been waiting around these 40 years, and I haven't seen it yet.

Not that I'm complaining, you understand, just an observation.

well, enough people who finally figured out that not all social norms are awesome and have created their own has warranted a book.

whoopty doo.

The_Quick_Brown_Fox: Dumbarse article.

By "growing up" women really mean marrying them and the husband surrendering half of his financial resources.

For centuries guys had to trade marriage and freedom for sexual urges. The advent of birth controls and female sexual liberation cancelled that. Current divorce laws favoring women probably don't encourage men to "grow up" either.

Besides, about half of women aren't "growing up", translation, getting married, having kids, and settling for a white-picket fenced home in the suburbs.

Hypocrisy all around.

Not all women are about getting half of the money and getting that white picket fence....I've always been chided for being more 'like a man' on issues of finance and sex...I believe my money is mine, his money is his, and the more sex I get(with respects to the man I am with, not multiples, thank you), the happier I am.
Add that and a pint of Jack or Citroc and I'll purr like a kitten.
Besides, all that 'nuclear family fantasy' crap is overrated.

"If you don't start acting like our dads and offering us a new set of social mores to adhere to and rebel against, no more pussy."

"Whatever."

"Boy's suck."

"what - ever."

These are some of the young men you will meet in this book. They're among the nearly 400 I've interviewed over the past four years - on college campuses, in neighborhood bars and coffee shops, in Internet chat rooms...

forot my slashies

/listening to 'Gold Digger'
//guzzling (and living) the High Life

Wizzin: Yea, basically. I am not sure exactly what agitates the author so much. I guess he found some people that aren't being good little drones and it does not compute?

He's probably not a bad guy, he just doesn't get it because it's a different world now. He's almost 60.

I went through this crap with my parents. I got the "when are you going to meet a nice girl" treatment for years from my mom. I didn't know how to tell her there aren't any, since she'd take it personal. Finally after she changed jobs and started working around people my age she figured it out. Now she's just happy I'm not shooting smack or strangling prostitutes.

H_is_for_Heretic: I blame Maxim. Juvenile humor and misogyny will always move product, but you don't have to dumb it down to that extent. Without Maxim I don't think we would have had Axe bodyspray, or "Epic Movie".

While I don't actually blame the magazine for this, I agree with you.

I'm a 25 year old, straight, white, college educated male who loves beer and a good fart joke as much as the next, but I hate Maxim Magazine and it's ilk. Everytime I read it, I can just SEE the writer as some fat, balding, never grew up Fratboy still laughing at donkey punches, and trying to sleep with drunk girls.

As for the article. Having never lived in another generation, I don't know if this is a real phenomenon or just (as another farker posted) "Kids these days..."

If it is truly unique to my generation, I would guess that the reasons could include:

1) We ARE a bit entitled
2) The girls of our generation are pretty easy, so maturity is not a prereq for getting laid. In fact, its a liability.
3) We have a built in Nhilism that comes from growing up on a steady diet of 24/hr News, ritalin, and violent video games. Cribs and 14 year old pop stars to make us feel that if we aren't millionaires by 22, we're failures already.
4) Lack of strong male role models.

These are just a couple things I could think of right off the top of my head.

Amazing how many women live off of "Guyland" and still complain

/yes i'm bitter
//all women are evil

paygun: Now she's just happy I'm not shooting smack or strangling prostitutes.

so the secret of success is staggeringly low expectations and parental approval?

Magnanimous_J: H_is_for_Heretic: I blame Maxim. Juvenile humor and misogyny will always move product, but you don't have to dumb it down to that extent. Without Maxim I don't think we would have had Axe bodyspray, or "Epic Movie".

While I don't actually blame the magazine for this, I agree with you.

1) We ARE a bit entitled
2) The girls of our generation are pretty easy, so maturity is not a prereq for getting laid. In fact, its a liability.
3) We have a built in Nhilism that comes from growing up on a steady diet of 24/hr News, ritalin, and violent video games. Cribs and 14 year old pop stars to make us feel that if we aren't millionaires by 22, we're failures already.
4) Lack of strong male role models.

These are just a couple things I could think of right off the top of my head.

5) The increased number of atheists might suddenly realize that marriage and many of the cultural bonds required of it are no longer necessary.

Accent: Amazing how many women live off of "Guyland" and still complain

/yes i'm bitter
//all women are evil

All I've ever asked is to keep me satisfied with sex and alcohol...how is that complicated?

Wrote this for some friends once...

Pussy is like steak. I could eat steak for every meal and after about a month and a half it gets old, that's why most guys try sticking it in your ass, just to "Change it up".

The only reason this stuff is funny is because women are complete destroyers and what ever little bits of resistance we can give feels liberating. Also the concept of the "modern liberated woman" makes material like this taboo. Modern comedy dictates that taboo = funny.

The source of the problem lies in how each gender addresses things.

Virginity, for example. Many women revere virginity to a point. Many women get very attached to the men they first sleep with. Somewhere along the way, "giving someone your virginity" became the same as giving someone a gift.

As a guy, virginity is a disease, a hot potato. You want to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Also, as a guy, you generally DO NOT WANT a virgin unless you're positively awful in bed, because farking a virginal woman is like farking a dead fish that says "ow" a lot, they just... lay there. Or, god forbid, they "read something in cosmo and want to try it." I should sue that company for the damage it has wrought upon my loins.

Relationships, as a guy, are really simple.

-You find a girl you like
-Give her reason to be interested back
-Maul one another. If she's good, move on to the next step. If she's bad, dump her.
-Get to know each other. If she's cuter than her faults, keep her. If her faults outweigh how cute she is, dump her.

Guys don't fark because it feels good and they like to fark, that's what jr high kids who sniff paint do. Guys fark because they like being told they're good at something for a change. Which brings me to my next point...

Just because you (I'm speaking to womanhood in general here, not you specifically sinaa) have zero self esteem, doesn't mean you have to be a catty biatch and drag us down with you. You're a lump of flesh like the rest of us, quit holding everyone up to some impossible standard you yourself don't even measure up to and just farking enjoy yourself for a change. Quit being a dumb coont and stop farking around with people's emotions. Remember that guy at the bar who keeps buying you drinks because you've got him thinking he stands a chance with you, but you're just using him for the free drinks? He wants to take you home and show you a good time, he wants you to enjoy yourself, and he wants to be praised for how good he makes you feel. But you're just going to trample on his emotions and his wallet because you're a callous sow and you hate yourself.

Men are pigs? HA! fark you, you crazy sows!

Two guys have a problem with each other, they resolve it. Through words or fists. And that's the end of the discussion. Women do catty, back-stabbing, passive-aggressive bullshiat because they're scared to let people see them for what they really are. I've seen women carry venom for each other for longer than I've been alive, two guys couldn't hate each other for that long if they tried.

STRAIGHT MEN DO NOT HAVE FEMALE FRIENDS. Think about any guy you're friends with. Let's say just the two of you are hanging out, you have dinner and watch a movie. Halfway through the movie you get up to use the bathroom. You exit the bathroom completely naked, walk up to your "platonic guy friend" and tell him you want him. Unless he's gay or you're a real howler, he'll do it. Guys don't need female friends, that's what they have male friends for.

You want better relationships with men? It's simple.

-Don't be a biatch to them
-Treat them how you want to be treated
-Be honest with them, and don't get angry when they're honest back.

Remember, WOMEN are the ones putting the pussy on a pedestal. Guys wouldn't chase it so much if you'd stop treating it like it's a goddamn treasure trove.

P.S. - Shave your goddamn "treasure trove" and take care of the farking thing. My dick's so clean I could serve a meal on it, you smelling like a corpse when you're all hot n bothered, (yes, I CAN smell you), is farking disgusting.

Women aren't evil.

They're gullible.

And they blame whoever the TeeVee tells them to, this week.

bunner: paygun: Now she's just happy I'm not shooting smack or strangling prostitutes.

so the secret of success is staggeringly low expectations and parental approval?

or the slow redefinition of what parental duties are.

little do they know,the age range goes up a heck of a lot more then
just guys in thier late twenties. i know a lot of guys in thier mid fifties that still fit that mold. sometimes,it makes sense to me.
who the heck wants to actually make something of themselves only
to get knocked down and have to start over again?

well ,me for one. got tired of all thier crap,loans unpaid, stupid ideas and all.took me a while,but i realized that most of my friends were just little boys in old mens bodies. told em all to fark off and get off my lawn. having a good time now just being me and doing what i think is cool,not what the commitee decided was cool. and meeting more ladies now too. wierd huh?

: Magnanimous_J: H_is_for_Heretic: I blame Maxim. Juvenile humor and misogyny misogyny will always move product,

FTFY

ginger_fretelli: Accent: Amazing how many women live off of "Guyland" and still complain

/yes i'm bitter
//all women are evil

All I've ever asked is to keep me satisfied with sex and alcohol...how is that complicated?

you do sound like a guy
but if you arent, im free tomorrow

bunner: : Magnanimous_J: H_is_for_Heretic: I blame Maxim. Juvenile humor and misogyny misandry will always move product...

FTFY

Sorry, I work a lot.

bunner: so the secret of success is staggeringly low expectations and parental approval?

I define success as being happy with myself, since so very few other people care. It doesn't have anything to do with expectations or parental approval, which is why we didn't speak for years.

bunner: Women aren't evil.

They're gullible.

And they blame whoever the TeeVee tells them to, this week.

no no... they are evil... they know what they are doing

I'm guessing there are a lot of FARK readers in Guyland...it's crowded here. I don't live here, but I visit frequently.

In another era, these guys would undoubtedly be poised to take their place in the adult world, taking the first steps toward becoming the nation's future professionals, entrepreneurs, and business leaders. They would be engaged to be married, thinking about settling down with a family, preparing for futures as civic leaders and Little League dads. Not today.

Bullshiat. Is this guy talking about 1920? Because I very much doubt that my dad, thirty years ago, was thinking about any of this crap. He was thinking about getting drunk and laid, as any guy in his twenties should be doing. In fact, I would suggest that if you're a male in your twenties, and your big dream is a wife, kids, and a mortgage, then you're really screwed up in the head, and should seek professional help.

Granted, I didn't read the whole article (way, way too long and stupid), but did he actually interview anyone but white college guys who fit the description of the typical, self-satisfied lazy douchebag? I know it says in there he interviewed latinos, blacks, blue-collar guys, but I didn't see anyone but "backwards baseball cap and cargo shorts doing keg-stands" guy.

Maybe I'm out of the loop, but most of the guys I know care about their careers. And they want to get married -- someday. Just not today.

BTW, what's up with the cover of that book? Did they do a nationwide search for the guys you'd most like to punch in the head if you saw them on the street?

/Kids today...

Accent: bunner: Women aren't evil.

They're gullible.

And they blame whoever the TeeVee tells them to, this week.

no no... they are evil... they know what they are doing

I disagree, don't confuse ignorant malice with evil brilliance. Just because women do unthinkably awful things doesn't mean they really thought it through.

Guyland ... where Fantasy Football leagues never end and Sci-Fi Movie Marathons play every weekend.

Accent: bunner: Women aren't evil.

They're gullible.

And they blame whoever the TeeVee tells them to, this week.

no no... they are evil... they know what they are doing

Nah, they're just being sold what looks like something that's for them and it's just to make money.

Oprah

is

driving

your

Ferrari,

ladies.