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(London Times) Interesting Fat cops being banned from driving police cars in case they break them with their enormous cop asses   (timesonline.co.uk) divider line 62
More: Interesting  
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strangeguitar 2008-08-30 10:02:02 PM  
i117.photobucket.com

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-08-30 10:05:19 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 10:25:36 PM  
Make them do local area bicycle patrols for a couple months.

 
cheinke06 2008-08-30 10:28:10 PM  
...in the UK...

/just sayin'

 
xpennyroyaltyx [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 10:28:39 PM  
as long as they don't ban Hot Cops, i'm good.


/dnrtfa

 
ebonada 2008-08-30 10:29:10 PM  
FTA: "That will need to be monitored because, aside from the safety aspects, it's a bit rich for us to be pulling people over for overloading their cars when our own vehicles may be illegal."

Are we sure this isn't satire?

 
3steps 2008-08-30 10:30:51 PM  
ummm... wow.

Can you imagine what kind of wake up call that would be? 'I'm sorry you are stuck on a foot patrol because you are so fat that the weight limit on the patrol car is exceeded.'

I mean.. like... damn... that's fat.

Unless... this is a UK paper. Do they use miniture cars over there? All I can think of is the Crown Vics they prefer around here...

 
spigi 2008-08-30 10:30:53 PM  
Fat Sweaty Coppers (new window)

 
i'm driving my life away 2008-08-30 10:32:03 PM  
lol increase stopping distance.. affect handling.. what the hell are these people on?

 
ttc2301 2008-08-30 10:32:14 PM  
Ooohh! Ex-felon/cop hater thread!

 
3steps 2008-08-30 10:32:38 PM  
i'm driving my life away: lol increase stopping distance.. affect handling.. what the hell are these people on?

coffee... and donuts... lots and lots of donuts ;-)

 
phrawgh 2008-08-30 10:34:50 PM  
img402.imageshack.us
Pig on a Hog?
Fatass on a Fatboy?
...anyone?

 
UberNeuman 2008-08-30 10:36:16 PM  
Fat Cops!
Fat Cops!

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do when they sit on you....

Fat Cops!
Fat Cops!

What you gonna do?

What you gonna do when they take your food?

 
Firetini [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 10:38:51 PM  
3steps: i'm driving my life away: lol increase stopping distance.. affect handling.. what the hell are these people on?

coffee... and donuts... lots and lots of donuts ;-)


You don't say!

i95.photobucket.com

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-08-30 10:39:06 PM  
i300.photobucket.com

 
reggaejunkiejew 2008-08-30 10:40:33 PM  
They should stop putting 14 stones in their cars. Stones are heavy.

 
chrisacip 2008-08-30 10:43:04 PM  
Just reassign them to bike duty. Piggies will shape up real fast.

 
Solarex 2008-08-30 10:50:16 PM  
Article referes to British cops. Anyway, I am friends with a sheriffs deputy and live next door to a cop (who is not my friend). Anyway, they both are bodybuilder types and look like the farking terminator. Perhaps back in the day, cops could get away with being out of shape, but the culture of law enforcement nowadays is for the men to be very phsically imposing (i.e. large and muscular) obviously this trend does not apply to chick cops or to older officers....but the new generation are brutes.

 
One Thirty-two and Bush 2008-08-30 10:55:23 PM  
A fatty + cop-hater thread. This would become epic if it wasn't late on a Saturday.

 
TBS007 2008-08-30 10:58:21 PM  
Cigarettes do a body good.

Smoke, don't eat as much!

 
pugsleythegreat 2008-08-30 10:59:29 PM  
i hope for the day that I get hassled by a cop so large i can obviously escape on foot. just on principle.

 
awutwut 2008-08-30 10:59:48 PM  
"Some cars, with two officers present, are within 14 stone of the maximum, meaning that they can carry, at most, only one additional passenger."

Blarg@!! Use normal units....

 
Bagelox-99 2008-08-30 11:00:05 PM  
farm2.static.flickr.com

 
TBS007 2008-08-30 11:11:06 PM  
Smoking, drinking a beer, so I'm getting a kick out of the replies

 
puddleonfire 2008-08-30 11:12:05 PM  
In Albuquerque they put those fat asses on BICYCLE PATROLS.
One time this ROTUND cop and his thinner partner wheeled out front of our metal concert next to the Hiland Theater and we all jeered.
He was SO fat.....
How fat was he?
He was so fat that the other cop was orbiting around him.
Feel free to add your own lines.

 
EvelFarknievel 2008-08-30 11:14:50 PM  
So, I was testing for the police department some years ago and was up to the timed obstacle course portion of testing. We all ran laps, went up and down steps, dove through windows, ran laps, carried a tv and drug a dummy 100 yards at breakneck speed until we were on the verge of collapse with old cops yelling at us the whole time like boot camp.

Then we all finished, and all of the instructors gathered around and took up stations around the course to help 1 (one) candidate through the course. This chick was so old an broken down it was pathetic. She could barely climb the stairs. But they made it their mission to get her through the obstacle course, and they did.

Nobody was helping me, and I had just had lung surgery.

I just remember thinking "I'm gonna be on a call swingin' it out with some huge biker and I'm gonna call for backup and she's who I'm gonna get."

If you are not physically fit enough to get through the obstacle course every year you have no business being a cop. You put yourself, your fellow cops, and the public at risk.

And that picture of the "cop" with the turkey leg just sends me. I mean wow. Just wow. I wonder when was the last time she was in a foot chase? If you're trapped in a burning car and she gets the call, you're screwed because if told her to haul ass, she'd have to make two trips.

 
Yogimus 2008-08-30 11:19:29 PM  
A fatty AND a cop bashing thread? It's like Christmas!

 
Z1P2 2008-08-30 11:24:48 PM  
Ok you can taze me, just don't sit on me, bro!

 
3steps 2008-08-30 11:25:54 PM  
Solarex: Article referes to British cops. Anyway, I am friends with a sheriffs deputy and live next door to a cop (who is not my friend). Anyway, they both are bodybuilder types and look like the farking terminator. Perhaps back in the day, cops could get away with being out of shape, but the culture of law enforcement nowadays is for the men to be very phsically imposing (i.e. large and muscular) obviously this trend does not apply to chick cops or to older officers....but the new generation are brutes.

Actually it depends on the force. Staties here tend to be relatively fit. The locals? OMG fat. I mean can't get out of the car without a nap or a crane fat. Only one who isn't fat is the female ex-professional football player. She's cool.

 
frostcrow 2008-08-30 11:27:21 PM  
Yogimus: A fatty AND a cop bashing thread? It's like Christmas!

Christmas ? So you worship the sky wizard eh !?

/fatty christian cop bashing thread !

 
3steps 2008-08-30 11:32:00 PM  
awutwut: "Some cars, with two officers present, are within 14 stone of the maximum, meaning that they can carry, at most, only one additional passenger."

Blarg@!! Use normal units....


hehe ya..

A Stone is 14 US pounds. So... 14 stone is umm... hold on talking off shoes ... 196 pounds!

That chick with the turkey leg? She bigger than 14 stone ;-)

 
Tassach 2008-08-30 11:34:30 PM  
prophyle.com

 
Moonfisher 2008-08-30 11:37:22 PM  
Need to implement this policy state side. Seriously, they Sheriffs and Highway Patrol, at least here in California, run their asses off in training. Miles and miles are put behind them a day. They get sprayed in the face with pepper spray; they have to hurdle fences and climb walls. Then they get out on a beat and they turn into lards. WTF was the point? Most stations have gyms available. They need to require an hour of workout every workday and keep those guys at reasonable sizes. I mean, the 40 year veteran is still gonna be an old guy, but at least he can be relatively fit. Ludicrous.

 
Dmala 2008-08-31 12:02:17 AM  
3steps:
Actually it depends on the force. Staties here tend to be relatively fit. The locals? OMG fat. I mean can't get out of the car without a nap or a crane fat. Only one who isn't fat is the female ex-professional football player. She's cool.


When the tunnel collapsed in Boston, they had to re-route traffic through the surface streets for a few weeks, so they had cops at every intersection in the area to manage the flow of traffic during rush hour. Some corners were manned by BPD and others were Mass staties. The staties were all fit and clean cut, sharp uniforms, and out in the street directing traffic like it was a parade drill. An awful lot of the Boston cops were fat, greasy, unshaven, and pretty much just hanging out on the corner watching the traffic go by. I'm sure BPD didn't send its best and brightest out for traffic duty, but the contrast was striking, to say the least.

 
Deschit 2008-08-31 12:37:45 AM  
fatty's running the new police state... put your shades on and obey.

 
wombatsrus 2008-08-31 12:50:28 AM  
i4.photobucket.com

 
Obnox [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-31 12:53:39 AM  
D.A.R.E.
To keep cops off doughnuts

 
W. T. Fark [TotalFark] 2008-08-31 12:56:51 AM  
puddleonfire: In Albuquerque they put those fat asses on BICYCLE PATROLS.
One time this ROTUND cop and his thinner partner wheeled out front of our metal concert next to the Hiland Theater and we all jeered.
He was SO fat.....
How fat was he?
He was so fat that the other cop was orbiting around him.
Feel free to add your own lines.


Cop was so fat when he called for backup they all came crawling out his backside

 
Helen_Arigby 2008-08-31 01:04:05 AM  
A patrol car containing obese officers, which stopped a vehicle with two suspected criminals, would have to radio for assistance.

Something tells me they would need assistance regardless of how beefy their car was. I mean, what if one of the suspects ran off?

 
Namey Namerson 2008-08-31 01:07:25 AM  
That headline is sloppier than Cindy McCain's pussy.

 
vudukungfu 2008-08-31 01:14:34 AM  
The onlu worse thing than a fat cop is a dirty cop.

 
maniacbastard [TotalFark] 2008-08-31 01:20:03 AM  
pigs.

The photos look like Cindy McCain's oily leathery snatch smells.

 
i'm driving my life away 2008-08-31 02:15:39 AM  
Namey Namerson: That headline is sloppier than Cindy McCain's pussy.

www.brendanloy.com

ziaaang

 
tenhigh 2008-08-31 02:24:35 AM  
Ha ha! British people are ridiculously fat! Looks like they're going to have to find some other basis by which to mock all of us fit, skinny, sexy americans!!

 
DeRosso 2008-08-31 02:24:37 AM  
...Or get better cars

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-08-31 02:46:54 AM  
chrisacip: Just reassign them to bike duty. Piggies will shape up real fast.

Nah.

I'm hardly a cop detractor, but a fat cop is like a fat Marine. They're not only a disgrace, they're dangerous, and they deserve to die.

Fat cops should be assigned to the gnarliest, most dangerous, deadliest sector of wherever it is they patrol. And left there until they either shape up or bleed out. So, for example, a fat LAPD cop instantly gets shipped over to 77th Street on night watch. A fat LASD deputy gets to hang with the cholos and meth heads in East LA. As for those Brits, I don't know where the killzone is, but find it, and make them live there a while.

Survival is one hell of a motivator.

 
CourtroomWolf 2008-08-31 02:52:33 AM  
Fat cops can be put to good use. Reassign them to the bomb squad. That way, at least the guy standing *behind* the fat cop is shielded from the bomb :)

 
taurusowner 2008-08-31 02:55:58 AM  
Gyrfalcon: I'm hardly a cop detractor, but a fat cop is like a fat Marine. They're not only a disgrace, they're dangerous, and they deserve to die.

BINGO.

I'm not a Marine, but a soldier(Military Police), and I'm currently attending civilian Police Academy in Michigan. Laziness and obesity to the point where one cannot perform one's duties is a huge problem. I think bicycle patrols are a GREAT idea. A: good exercise. B: saves gas and C: it puts officers into more personal contact with the populous which helps foster better community relations. People need to start seeing police as neighborhood help, not as imposing thugs riding around in aggressive vehicles. I'm not saying get rid of cars, SWAT, or some of the more intimidating elements for things like raids or anti-gang presence. But average communities need to be able to see police as helpful and friendly. And putting cops out on bikes where they can meet and talk with people while riding through a neighborhood can only help.


And you're right on about it being dangerous. If my partner and I are chasing a few gangbangers or methheads through yards at night, the last thing I want is to find myself alone against the perps with my partner doubled over wheezing a few hundred yards back. Or not even being able to help in the tussle if they do manage to keep up. Police work is a very hands on and physically demanding profession. People who can't walk a few flights of stairs much less run and jump over fences at night have no place doing this job. Plus, it goes back to how we look to the community. I cringe whenever I see fat cops sitting around or eating. They're making us all look like lazy farks.

 
Fark_Guy_Rob 2008-08-31 04:10:15 AM  
I can understand being a cop.
I can understand being fat.

I can't understand being a fat cop. Seriously. Pathetic.

 
taurusowner 2008-08-31 04:17:35 AM  
Someone should shop that "Be fat somewhere else" pic so that it's a cop with a gut getting pepper sprayed.

 
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