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(News.com.au) Dumbass Congregation dismayed to discover that all of the money they raised for their pastor's brave battle against terminal cancer actually funded his porn addiction   (news.com.au) divider line 89
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hubiestubert [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 07:18:04 PM  
lh3.ggpht.com

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 07:23:17 PM  
Oh, so now you care he's lying to you?

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 07:28:38 PM  
He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

 
iaazathot 2008-08-30 09:09:52 PM  
Already so full of win, this thread is.

 
accujimmy 2008-08-30 09:10:15 PM  
GAT_00: Oh, so now you care he's lying to you?

Yeah that never stopped them in the past! WTF?

 
water_man0 2008-08-30 09:10:44 PM  
Sick tag would have been appropriate here.

 
Byno 2008-08-30 09:11:02 PM  
Great is his reward in [raptor] heaven:

media.urbandictionary.com

 
skinink 2008-08-30 09:11:46 PM  
And all this time they thought it was the cancer that caused his palms to get hairy...

 
sokolnikov 2008-08-30 09:12:14 PM  
Snarfangel: He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

seriously, youporn FTW!

 
ElLoco 2008-08-30 09:12:29 PM  
I'll bet he's got some really badass, niche stuff with that kind of porn financing.

 
rbuzby 2008-08-30 09:12:45 PM  
Do people have a food addiction just because they eat food everyday?

I think not.

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:12:53 PM  
Everything else about religion is a lie, this shouldn't be a shocker.

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-08-30 09:13:40 PM  
static.pyzam.com

 
farkeruk 2008-08-30 09:13:48 PM  
Snarfangel: He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

I've seen ads for unlimited monthly services to the likes of Hustler and Private that I think cost less than $30/month each. How much was this guy getting through?

 
skinink 2008-08-30 09:13:51 PM  
The only stuff that could ever shock me was the porn from a preacher man.
The only bukakke pics that was ever pleasing was from the porn of a preacher man.

 
naveline 2008-08-30 09:14:10 PM  
What? Porn fights his kind of cancer.

 
ChadManMn 2008-08-30 09:14:29 PM  
Something tells me that there is more to this story.

I watch A LOT of porn, but it is all free.

What was he watching?

/fantasti.cc

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:14:41 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic, that picture is full of win.

 
piercer310 [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:15:01 PM  
i51.photobucket.com

 
Nicolette [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:16:10 PM  
His actual physical symptoms are a classic description of a "pornover"....

 
Snarcoleptic_Hoosier 2008-08-30 09:16:34 PM  
Yeah, Altar Boys do need better bribes these days. Inflation and all that.

 
Sean_L 2008-08-30 09:17:00 PM  
Snarfangel: He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

Genuine nun-porn is expensive...
i218.photobucket.com

...and it's a hard habit to break

 
soapdish 2008-08-30 09:17:48 PM  
You give money to a religious organization? You're an idiot.

 
Lamune_Baba 2008-08-30 09:17:55 PM  
The fool is doing it wrong.

"Umn... wait... I don't have cancer? Praise Jeebus! I'm healed! It's a miracle! Send your 'love gift' in the form of $20 bills to..."

 
logruszed 2008-08-30 09:21:27 PM  
www.pearl-jam.com

Approves.


/And so does the guy that plays him.

 
rallyrev 2008-08-30 09:22:05 PM  
The saddest thing about all of this is that the porn will take all the blame. The pastor will be hailed as a hero for exposing the "evils" of pornography and life will go on exactly as it had before.

 
Mouser 2008-08-30 09:23:30 PM  
Amanda Guglielmucci, 29, has also defended her husband, insisting he is a good man, trapped by lies which had spiralled out of control.

"I know he's not an evil man, there's not evil in his heart," she said yesterday.


I think her husband's boss disagrees:

But I say to you, anyone who stares at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

-- Matthew 5:28 (ISV)

 
Devoid 2008-08-30 09:25:11 PM  
Sean_L: Snarfangel: He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

Genuine nun-porn is expensive...


...and it's a hard habit to break


I'd ask for a newsletter, but I'm hypnotized by what's supporting that cross.

/off to find nun porn

 
2xhelix [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:27:27 PM  
The shame manifested itself physically, resulting in him losing his hair and purging his body.

"I don't know how you can fake vomiting all over yourself night after night after night, I'm not that good an actor,' he said.


Sure... we believe you. I say he's got a meth habit to boot.

 
therealpope 2008-08-30 09:30:22 PM  
So how exactly did he make his hair fall out.... these are the questions I have.

 
phrawgh 2008-08-30 09:31:01 PM  
img301.imageshack.us
THIS! is good pr0n, brothers and sisters.

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:32:12 PM  
Snarfangel: He pays for porn? Hasn't he heard of the internet?

And $50 a year gets you TotalFark Foobies. How much more can you need?

 
xpennyroyaltyx [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:35:59 PM  
maybe he was doing research.

 
Ringshadow 2008-08-30 09:37:36 PM  
Sean_L:

That woman's breasts terrify me. They're at maximum capacity and about to blow, man.

 
Rye_ [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:39:23 PM  
Guglielmucci

*snicker*

 
jwhite33 2008-08-30 09:40:18 PM  
Beating the bishop, huh?

 
3steps 2008-08-30 09:40:43 PM  
as Ace would say... Laoooooser!

I wonder what was the bigger draw...

The porn or the attention?

I knew a girl that pretended to have AIDS. She loved the attention. She was 'hours away from death' for several months before she finally admitted that she was lying. The final straw was when she pretended that her daughter had died in a car crash. We all got together to send flowers but there was no obit. No funeral home. No police report. No death cert. We called the grandmother only to find out there was no 'daughter'. It all unraveled after that.

A woman a couple towns over loved the attention she got by having cancer. It turned into major fund raising as the local docs couldn't help her and she had to go to a cancer clinic in Boston. She raked in thousands before she got caught.

Soooo... I tend to be a bit more skeptical these days.

 
Montgomery 2008-08-30 09:42:15 PM  
www.xhamster.com

www.redtube.com

www.youporn.com


NSFW!!!11!shift+1!11!!1


There. I saved you thousands of dollars.

 
Byno 2008-08-30 09:43:01 PM  
xpennyroyaltyx: maybe he was doing research.

images.wolfgangsvault.com

Approves

i150.photobucket.com

 
simpsonfan 2008-08-30 09:43:23 PM  
It will be funny if he does get cancer.

 
lilbjorn 2008-08-30 09:44:07 PM  
They're all con men.

 
aresef 2008-08-30 09:50:11 PM  
simpsonfan: It will be funny if he does get cancer.

The Preacher That Cried Cancer, tonight, only on PAX.

 
harrich 2008-08-30 09:51:38 PM  
The money was for all of those long distance calls to:

Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Yeah! Ahhhh....

 
DarkSoulNoHope 2008-08-30 09:52:20 PM  
simpsonfan: It will be funny if he does get cancer.

Then he will have to sell porno to his congregation in order to fund his cancer addiction.

 
b3x 2008-08-30 09:52:49 PM  
Byno: xpennyroyaltyx: maybe he was doing research.


FYI, that isn't Pete Townsend, it is Roger Daltrey

 
heliopolister 2008-08-30 09:57:42 PM  
Perverted Norman Cousins approves.

 
lilfry14 2008-08-30 10:05:38 PM  
So how did his hair fall out exactly? Did he take some drug? His wife was obviously not there for him enough because otherwise, he wouldn't of had free time to watch porn.

 
Hal Jalykakik [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-30 10:10:56 PM  
simpsonfan: It will be funny if he does get cancer of the penis from excessive masturbation.

/ FTFM

 
OTA BENGA 2008-08-30 10:11:19 PM  
He looks like a total perv. Maybe they could have added some "hehe" snickering to complete the image.

img508.imageshack.us

 
Antilope 2008-08-30 10:12:48 PM  
Holy Crap!

 
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