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(TBO) Florida What happens when two mega Christian rock festivals are booked on same day, just miles apart? Holy war   (www2.tbo.com) divider line 178
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randompeskar [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:13:59 AM  
I avoid Florida as usual.

 
Secret Agent X23 2008-08-30 11:23:25 AM  
Well, just based on the names of the festivals, Rock the Universe doesn't sound quite as lame as Walt Disney World's Night of Joy.

But next year I think I'll find a venue nearby and stage Secret Agent X23's Rockin' Lesbo-Rama and see who outdraws who.

 
I_Love_Verdi [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:46:53 AM  
Please let Christian rock destroy itself. I might even find myself a new Follower of Him if he would Smite this musical abomination.

 
FloydA [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 12:06:18 PM  
I_Love_Verdi: Please let Christian rock destroy itself. I might even find myself a new Follower of Him if he would Smite this musical abomination.

AMEN!

 
jaylectricity [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 12:18:43 PM  
Alert the terrorists, this is a golden opportunity!

 
peon36 2008-08-30 01:04:10 PM  
All aboard fot the "Pope is Dope" tour!

 
Poppa Boner [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:07:59 PM  
i295.photobucket.com

Approves

 
Jason McFarkster 2008-08-30 01:09:35 PM  
Ahhhh, Christian "rock". Mediocrity for Jesus!

 
tehotherbilly 2008-08-30 01:12:53 PM  
Jihad me at mega subby.

 
GoldenMetalRaven 2008-08-30 01:13:06 PM  
If only Slayer were performing that day as well.

 
Cornwell [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:13:11 PM  
Religion of Peacetm?

 
jaymzz [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:13:17 PM  
Brother will kill brother
Spilling blood across the land
Killing for religion
Something I don't understand

Fools like me, who cross the sea
And come to foreign lands
Ask the sheep, for their beliefs
Do you kill on gods command?

A country thats divided
Surely will not stand
My past erased, no more disgrace
No foolish naive stand

The end is near, it's crystal clear
Part of the master plan
Don't look now to Israel
It might be your homeland

Holy wars

Upon my podium,as the
Know it all scholar
Down in my seat of judgment
Gavels bang ,uphold the law
Up on my soapbox, a leader
Out to change the world
Down in my pulpit as the holier
Than-thou-could-be-messenger of god

 
C0rf 2008-08-30 01:13:26 PM  
ANOTHER Florida Christian thread?

wtf.

 
Neesie 2008-08-30 01:15:38 PM  
This has been the case for many years - the talent is different at each venue (Universal tends to skew a harder rock edge).

I enjoy some of the music, but don't want to deal with all the teenagers-on-the-loose anymore.

 
ultraholland 2008-08-30 01:17:27 PM  
I'd like to see a Scientology rock festival. Xenu shreds.

 
rbuzby 2008-08-30 01:17:34 PM  
TWO big christian rock festivals on the same day?

Is there enough suckage to go around?

 
BalugaJoe 2008-08-30 01:18:20 PM  
Who wants to be saved?

 
kck 2008-08-30 01:19:02 PM  
"Christian rock is hot, hot, hot. More solo artists and groups are proclaiming their faith in edgy, hip music that rivals their secular counterparts in every way."

Heh.

 
phartnocker 2008-08-30 01:19:20 PM  
All across the world
The holy armies on a tear
Ripping through the planet's faiths
Population's running scared
Christianity's all around
Zealots they abound
I wanna blow them to pieces
Cause I...I'm Killing For Jesus

With god on my side
The holy armies gonna ride
Go on a rampage
To rape, plunder and pillage
Insanity's everywhere
Must be something in the air
I wanna blow them to pieces
cause I...I'm Killing For Jesus

I'm never bored
When I'm killing for the lord
Now I've seen the light
Hail Mary! I've got Jesus on my side!

Insanity's everywhere
Must be something in the air
I wanna blow them to pieces
cause I...I'm Killing For Jesus

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:19:24 PM  
Jason McFarkster: Ahhhh, Christian "rock". Mediocrity for Jesus!

gold.

 
shipofthesun 2008-08-30 01:21:04 PM  
Is Joel's Army from the other thread mobilizing? I can see the the long lines of SUV's and ricers now, racing across the flat plains of the Everglades, every CD player thumpin' out some sort of Xtian death metal ("GRAAADMMAMDNAMDMMANDMMDMMMDNAMDNDMANENEMEMEMEM JESSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS GRAMMAMMMMAAAAAAAARRRRRMAMAMMAMAMABABBBMABBBBBIIIIIEEIEIEIEIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGRAMMMAMAMMAMAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!") Tats glowing in the sunset. JOEL'S ARMY has come to unite the warring factions, by force if necessary. As night falls, we see the two festivals descend into an inferno-like bust-up as the Army whomps both festivals into Godly submission. Peace falls on the Panhandle for the first time in recorded history. Hurricane Gustav spontaneously falls apart. Islam admits, "It was all something we made up in 1924". The Russians attack Israel, and lose. The Temple is rebuilt. A red calf is found, but then lost. Abe Vigoda actually dies...

 
ianjames 2008-08-30 01:21:10 PM  
This is a christian rocker? WTF?
media.tbo.com

 
enderthexenocide 2008-08-30 01:21:22 PM  
before you guys start bashing christian rock, do me a favor and listen to some of it. it's no better or worse than most modern rock out there. some of it is even better. one of my favorite bands is project 86, and skillet is excellent as well.

 
Lt Shiny Sides [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:22:11 PM  
"yeah, you guys are real hardcore"

"you bet yer gosh darn rear end we are!"

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:22:51 PM  
enderthexenocide: before you guys start bashing christian rock, do me a favor and listen to some of it. it's no better or worse than most modern rock out there. some of it is even better. one of my favorite bands is project 86, and skillet is excellent as well.

it's all lame -- the new shiat and and the christian shiat.

 
Savage Belief 2008-08-30 01:23:19 PM  
Have any of you actually listened to some of the more recent Christian rock? Petra and Stryper it ain't. Some of it is just plain really good music. And some of the groups, like Mercy Me and Casting Crowns have crossed over from the Christian listeners to the more traditional everyday radio audience.

 
Martstar 2008-08-30 01:23:36 PM  
blog.wired.com

Eh, I think I'll just stay home and play this.

 
DoWhatNowToWhat 2008-08-30 01:23:37 PM  
Brian "Head" Welch. I remember when that guy was cool. Now he is just one of the Baldwins.

 
daveydave 2008-08-30 01:24:07 PM  
Maybe if they took out all the Jesus bs it would be ok.

 
zetawill 2008-08-30 01:24:42 PM  
As a Christian Rock Fan Universal wins.....and to all the haters....I love you!...not in the Catholic Priest kind of way though. You'd enjoy that too much.

 
phadedout 2008-08-30 01:25:52 PM  
hopefully they'll wipe each other out

 
zetawill 2008-08-30 01:25:56 PM  
DoWhatNowToWhat: Brian "Head" Welch. I remember when that guy was cool. Now he is just one of the Baldwins.

lol....not the last time I checked.

 
peon36 2008-08-30 01:26:30 PM  
Savage Belief: Have any of you actually listened to some of the more recent Christian rock? Petra and Stryper it ain't. Some of it is just plain really good music. And some of the groups, like Mercy Me and Casting Crowns have crossed over from the Christian listeners to the more traditional everyday radio audience.


THOU SHALT NOT DIS STRYPER.

 
TheRealKlaatu 2008-08-30 01:27:47 PM  
I have seen the following "Christian" rock performers along with too many "secular" rock concerts to remember. My reviews:

Petra - good
Larry Norman - great
Phil Keaggy - amazing playing but dull concert
Switchfootc - good
Relient K - just OK
POD - awesome
Chris Tomlin - good
David Crowder - awesome

Best shows I ever saw in no particular order

Dave Matthews
Van Halen
Ray Charles
Garbage


Worst shows

Paul Westerberg
Live
Smashing Pumpkins

Bottom line is, Christian rock is no different from any other kind of rock. There are good bands and bad ones. There isn't any reason people should not sing about God. If you don't like it, don't buy it.

 
Savage Belief 2008-08-30 01:30:07 PM  
TheRealKlaatu:
Bottom line is, Christian rock is no different from any other kind of rock. There are good bands and bad ones. There isn't any reason people should not sing about God. If you don't like it, don't buy it.


You still buy music? Pssh, that's SO turn of the century!

 
bim1154 [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:30:26 PM  
Long story, will try to condense.
1977, my brother had just broke up with his girlfriend.

A friend of mine (girl) found out about it, invited my brother to a hay ride one weekend with a group of her friends. My brother had been drinking all afternoon and agreed to go.

Little did I know that my friend's friends were a crap load of Jesus freaks. My brother got to my friend's house and noticed the van had "Redemption Center" painted on the side. Being hootched up, he didn't give it much thought.

He got in the van and all these people were really happy and "uplifting", singing Christian songs.
The driver all of a sudden says, "Hey gang, I got a brand new tape (can't remember if it was 8 track or cassette), but my brother thought, cool, they are finally going to put some music on.
It was Christian Rock music and by that time, my brother was started to feel the effects of being drunk, the enclosed van, the motion of it rocking back and forth and all those fools singing along with the music.
Brother got sick and puked all over the inside of the van.
Anyone else would have stopped the van, thrown him out and went on, but noooo, they all got together and felt sorry for him. They stopped the van, all laid hands on him and prayed.

That was in 1977... he still has not forgiven me for that.

 
bobfo rapples 2008-08-30 01:30:34 PM  
staff.harrisonburg.k12.va.us
/holy, holy oxen free

 
IndyGemini 2008-08-30 01:30:59 PM  
*yawn*

Let me know when the FSM rock concert extravaganza is. I'll be there. Even if it's in Florida.

 
Greg0ry 2008-08-30 01:34:47 PM  
Yes They sound the same, and should be on the same level of suckage. However this is not the case. Christian rock has a special level of suckage. I mean have you seen infomercials the for christian rock set. Jesus Christ.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia
Je-Je-Je-Jesus

 
TheRealKlaatu 2008-08-30 01:34:59 PM  
bobfo rapples


shopped!

 
logruszed 2008-08-30 01:36:10 PM  
"More solo artists and groups are proclaiming their faith in edgy, hip music that rivals their secular counterparts in every way."

No sex
No drugs
not rock and roll.

I don't care how scratchy your voice is, how distorted the guitar is, or how loud your amps are: You can't praise Jesus hardcore.

 
soapdish 2008-08-30 01:36:23 PM  
Christian music was so much better 400 years ago.

 
TheRealKlaatu 2008-08-30 01:36:28 PM  
Greg0ry


So seeing an infomercial makes you an authority on Christian rock?

 
TheRealKlaatu 2008-08-30 01:39:33 PM  
logruszed

I wonder if all of the rockers who have died from drug and alcohol abuse would agree with you?

 
mythias2600 [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:39:54 PM  
IndyGemini: *yawn*

Let me know when the FSM rock concert extravaganza is. I'll be there. Even if it's in Florida.


Pastapalooza? hmm.. interesting.

 
Greg0ry 2008-08-30 01:40:13 PM  
Not at all just citing an example of why I think it's on a special level of suck.

calm down man.

 
swahnhennessy 2008-08-30 01:43:10 PM  
Holy War, you say?

/terrible recording

 
zetawill 2008-08-30 01:44:26 PM  
logruszed: "More solo artists and groups are proclaiming their faith in edgy, hip music that rivals their secular counterparts in every way."

No sex
No drugs
not rock and roll.

I don't care how scratchy your voice is, how distorted the guitar is, or how loud your amps are: You can't praise Jesus hardcore.




What you said is like saying an athlete can't be great unless he juices.

 
Savage Belief 2008-08-30 01:44:59 PM  
bobfo rapples: /holy, holy oxen free

Yeah, because we know that no other religion on the face of the planet has ever gone to war in then name of their god except Christians.

/Not saying it right.
//Just saying it's an old and stupid argument.

 
Jason McFarkster 2008-08-30 01:45:35 PM  
I have been to church. If you think anything edgy or unique can come out of that group of people, you are misguided. Christian rock is always riding the coattails of musicians who come from a culture that allows them to express oneself without restraint - or at least much less restraint.

Modern Christianity is about constraint and conformity - a culture that does not foster good rock.

 
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