Muqtada al Sadyr is ROFL over this.

Man, if that guy ever grows up, he's going to realize that he has some embarrassing tattoos.

Subby has never lived in the deep south, right?

Millions of dead motherf*ckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the God question. Do you believe in God? No. Boom! Dead. Do you believe in God? Yes. Do you believe in my God? No. Boom! Dead. My God has a bigger di*k than your God!

steevmit: My God has a bigger di*k than your God!

Yep, George Carlin hit the nail on the head with that one.

"He was looking very Jewish," Bentley notes.

lol wut?

Christian Reconstructionism's buttoned-down image and heavy emphasis on Bible study, which contrasts sharply with Joel's Army anti-intellectual distrust of biblical scholars and its unruly style...Bentley describes God ordering him to kick an elderly lady in the face..."[a]nd just as my boot made contact with her nose, she fell under the power of God."

Hooliganism? In my fundamentalism? It's more likely than you think.

For all the christian bashing that goes on, they are actually the least threatening (in this century anyway).

If you don't believe in their story, you're just going to burn in hell.

Muslims will deliver you there.

cerote: Hooliganism? In my fundamentalism? It's more likely than you think

God made me tip over his dustbins.

So, should I make the popcorn now or wait until these idiots start their war? I'd hate to have cold popcorn while watching them get their faces ripped off by the US military.

the Mole of Production: ♪♫Joel's Army Role Call:
Cambot!
Gypsy!
Tom Servo!
Croooooooooow!

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts
They'll kick down the door to your house of sin
And beat your heathen ass...♫♪

For Misery Science Theater 3000 BC

NeverDrunk23: For Misery Science Theater 3000 BC

Amen.

NeverDrunk23: the Mole of Production: ♪♫Joel's Army Role Call:
Cambot!
Gypsy!
Tom Servo!
Croooooooooow!

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts
They'll kick down the door to your house of sin
And beat your heathen ass...♫♪

For Misery Science Theater 3000 BC

I actually think "mystery Science" fits very well in this situation.

Does not approve.

....and yet, in this country, we have a huge problem with Fundamentalist Muslims....

Todd Bentley is a fat-assed poser.

/that is all.

"Some people snort cocaine, others snort religions," Joel's Army Pastor Roy said while ministering a morning program at Todd Bentley's Lakeland, Fla., revival in late May.


WTF?

Only a snorter of cocaine would say something so crazy.

Holy shiat this is awesome. I honestly love the thought of sharing a world with this guy and his apocalyptic army.

I bet these guys just LOVE Hannity. Call it a wild hunch.

/bring it on

GoSurfing: Only a snorter of cocaine would say something so crazy.

His wife is his dealer. She be a crazy biatch.

And people wonder why many Farkers bash Christians so much in religion threads.......

oroku_saki

I'm a Christian and I believe Todd Bentley is at least a false prophet, and at most the anti-Christ. A couple hundred years ago, we would have executed him ourselves. Don't blame this nutjob on us.

FTFA:
Those sounding the alarm about Joel's Army are not secular foes of the Christian Right, few of whom are even aware of the movement or how widespread it's become in the past decade. Instead, Joel's Army critics are mostly conservative Christians, either neo-Pentecostals who left the movement in disgust or evangelical Christians who fear that Joel's Army preachers are stealing their flocks, even sending spies to infiltrate their own congregations and sway their young people to heresy. And they say the movement is becoming frightening.

Before all the "see, Christians are just as evil as Muslims1!!@!LOL!RONPAUL08!" comments, it looks like the movement is being appropriately policed, as it should be.

Prayer is physically imposing their religion on others subby? Oh goody another cult that didn't read the Bible or understand it. This is what this New Age thinking will get you. God's False Prophet filter must be working overtime these days.

"Behold I come like a thief in the night". Meaning you do not know the hour or day HE will come just like anyone does not know when a thief will invade their home.

Wow, before I read the article, I thought this had something to do with Joel 'Christ Mullet' Osteen.

Wow, these people combine ignorance and stupidity all in one package!

Not to judge, because that's the domain of Him who is known as I am. These people are breaking quite a few biblical rules themselves from Matthew, Mark, and John to say the least. Were I them, I would not be so willing to encourage Armageddon as he will surely judge them accordingly.

Right, cause his "beliefs" probably have no correlation to how much money he makes off of the twits that pay to attend his rallies...

"Religion? Nah, not interested."
"METAL religion? Fark yeah!"

their theme song ^{(^)}

Three cheers for blind faith. Hip-Hip-Hooray. Religion has been bringing us nutjobs like this for millenia. Nothing new to see here. Move along.

real shaman: For all the christian bashing that goes on, they are actually the least threatening (in this century anyway).

If you don't believe in their story, you're just going to burn in hell.

Muslims will deliver you there.

an eternity with these guys would be hell to me.

TheDaymoose: oroku_saki

I'm a Christian and I believe Todd Bentley is at least a false prophet, and at most the anti-Christ. A couple hundred years ago, we would have executed him ourselves. Don't blame this nutjob on us.

Your post does not give me hope for the sanity of mainstream Christianity.

They are more extreme than Pentecostals?

Wow.

FTFA: "Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!'"

Holy shiat, that's some epic stupid, right there.

TheDaymoose: oroku_saki

I'm a Christian and I believe Todd Bentley is at least a false prophet, and at most the anti-Christ. A couple hundred years ago, we would have executed him ourselves. Don't blame this nutjob on us.

...are you kidding? You think he may be the anti-christ, but you're pretty sure he's a false prophet?

How about...he's just an immature thug?

Gah. Wrong thread.

/that's a first, I think.

Not to judge, because that's the domain of Him who is known as I am. These people are breaking quite a few biblical rules themselves from Matthew, Mark, and John to say the least. Were I them, I would not be so willing to encourage Armageddon as he will surely judge them accordingly.

awww don't be such a poontang. Grab your feathered hair and shoulderpads and get into the apocalypse spirit!

GoSurfing: "Some people snort cocaine, others snort religions," Joel's Army Pastor Roy said while ministering a morning program at Todd Bentley's Lakeland, Fla., revival in late May.


WTF?

Only a snorter of cocaine would say something so crazy.

Can someone PLEASE post that pic of the crucifix being used as a heroin needle? I think that it would be pretty fitting for this thread, but I can't find it.

ThunderPelvis: FTFA: "Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!'"

Holy shiat, that's some epic stupid, right there.

Agreed, but this might be the wrong thread.

(At least they didn't name a Down's kid Trig. Oh wait...)

TheDaymoose: oroku_saki

I'm a Christian and I believe Todd Bentley is at least a false prophet, and at most the anti-Christ. A couple hundred years ago, we would have executed him ourselves. Don't blame this nutjob on us.

He's superstitious, you're superstitious. I see a similarity.

Hi:

Firstly, if it comes to a shooting war, these guys have had it. Depending on faith healers for helping your soldiers recover from .303 injuries is not a plan conducive to success. Secondly, actually...that pretty much covers it.

real shaman: For all the christian bashing that goes on, they are actually the least threatening (in this century anyway).

If you don't believe in their story, you're just going to burn in hell.

Muslims will deliver you there.

So, did you not read the article? There's some very real fear that these criminally insane individuals are going to start "delivering people there" in the near future.

Definitely look this up on facebook. There are a bunch of groups who have a few members. They don't make it sound militaristic at all.

Satan DID have sex with Eve and produce Cain, according to the Gnostic Gospels.

Does anybody have a picture of this doucher?

Marla Singer's Laundry: ThunderPelvis: FTFA: "Sarah's parents were coaches and the whole family was involved in track and I was an athlete in high school, so with our first-born, I was, like, 'Track!'"

Holy shiat, that's some epic stupid, right there.

Agreed, but this might be the wrong thread.

(At least they didn't name a Down's kid Trig. Oh wait...)

It's only half the wrong thread. Both are about fundie idiots who we can't allow to take power, amirite?

"Fundamentalist" anything = retarded.

GoSurfing: cocaine

Yeah, but it's true, and one of the reason addictions programs that involve religious overtones are so powerful. You're a coke addict, no control over yourself (so you think), so might as well as a higher power to take control for you, since you've farked your life up so much.

Addictive personalities need something to latch onto.

Heh. My father stopped talking to me when I pointed out his current fundie rampage combined with his history of drug abuse points to a severely addictive personality, but he'd finally found a largely socially acceptable way to satisfy it.