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(SLTrib) Strange Man pays his attacker $30 to stop stabbing him   (sltrib.com) divider line 46
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46 Comments   (+0 »)


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alienated 2008-08-30 04:01:32 AM  
Nice headline, proper tag, short read. + 1 subby.

 
Mr. Fuzzypaws 2008-08-30 11:44:26 AM  
Sounds like a bargain.

 
BartJones 2008-08-30 11:44:28 AM  
Or for $20 I'll try to avoid major organs.

 
Malinki 2008-08-30 11:44:56 AM  
That must be a union wage.

 
Jedoc 2008-08-30 11:45:18 AM  
i17.photobucket.com

 
OZZ 2008-08-30 11:46:27 AM  
For thirty dollars I will stop printing out photos of Drew Curtis and ejaculating on them.

Any takers?

 
peon36 2008-08-30 11:46:36 AM  
Malinki: That must be a union wage.


You must be from Philly to think like that>

 
Scott77 2008-08-30 11:46:48 AM  
I don't stop stabbing people for less than $40.

I have standards.

 
Spirit Hammer 2008-08-30 11:47:44 AM  
So what IS the going rate?

 
flyf15 2008-08-30 11:48:54 AM  
Isn't that what a robbery is?

I'll pay you everything in my wallet... $28... to not shoot me.

 
thatmanfromtexas 2008-08-30 11:49:14 AM  
I try to get to those negotiations BEFORE the stabbing starts.

 
E Arkhe 2008-08-30 11:49:15 AM  
The attacker must have slashed his prices.

 
El_Swino 2008-08-30 11:49:19 AM  
You know, most people will hand over the money if you only threaten to stab them...

 
piaddic120 2008-08-30 11:49:41 AM  
Another $20 and he coulda gotten a rimjob

 
TheDaymoose 2008-08-30 11:53:29 AM  
flyf15

The article describes it as a fight where a knife came out, and the guy pretty much said "No wait this sucks, I'm sorry, here's $30 dollars to stop"

Robbery starts with intent to get money, this guy just saw a good deal and took it.

 
chaosdeathgerbil 2008-08-30 11:55:10 AM  
piaddic120: Another $20 and he coulda gotten a rimjob

How much for one of these?

i85.photobucket.com

 
OregonVet [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:55:25 AM  
Yet more testimony to a safer society through gun restrictions- he could have been shot.

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:55:51 AM  
Nelson Muntz: "Stop stabbing yourself! Stop stabbing yourself!"

 
piaddic120 2008-08-30 11:56:02 AM  
flyf15: Isn't that what a robbery is?

I'll pay you everything in my wallet... $28... to not shoot me.


You're 2 dollars short, dumbass. Bite tha bullet biatch. Eat lead

 
The Angry Hand of God 2008-08-30 11:57:38 AM  
I usually find that just saying "If you are going to pull that knife on me you better be ready to have some sex," usually works out pretty well.

 
evilelvis [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:57:38 AM  
I would prefer to give that dude another number....45

 
Malinki 2008-08-30 12:00:26 PM  
peon36: Malinki: That must be a union wage.

You must be from Philly to think like that>


Heh, actually just outside Pittsburgh.

 
Lutwidge 2008-08-30 12:01:02 PM  
Only $30? Sounds like he's undercutting the market.

/guess it's better than price gouging

 
piaddic120 2008-08-30 12:03:45 PM  
chaosdeathgerbil: piaddic120: Another $20 and he coulda gotten a rimjob

How much for one of these?


50 cent

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 12:04:37 PM  
The Angry Hand of God: I usually find that just saying "If you are going to pull that knife on me you better be ready to have some sex," usually works out pretty well.

!

 
Dalekkiller 2008-08-30 12:14:59 PM  
El_Swino: You know, most people will hand over the money if you only threaten to stab them...

Is this your experience? ;) I wonder if the guy tried to haggle?

 
ihatedumbpeople 2008-08-30 12:15:08 PM  
Sounds like a pretty good example of armed robbery to me. Oh, and assault with a deadly weapon.

 
Toddums 2008-08-30 12:16:19 PM  
You can't really put a price on a good stabbin

nothing feels more liberating

 
toraque [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 12:25:21 PM  
And here I am only paying 5 bucks for TotalFark.

 
Jument 2008-08-30 12:43:37 PM  
toraque: And here I am only paying 5 bucks for TotalFark.

That comes to two stabbings per year.

 
LonMead 2008-08-30 12:44:32 PM  
toraque: And here I am only paying 5 bucks for TotalFark.

Almost seems like a bargain now, doesn't it?

/would only pay $24.37 to stop a stabbing
//up to $42.69 to stop a shooting
///would consider $60.00 and one of my Bucs tickets for you to put that flamethrower away

 
fnordfocus [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 12:56:21 PM  
I'm having difficulty figuring out which man in the article is "the man" and which was "a man," but it sure sounds like the stabee ended up in jail?

 
NeuroticMan 2008-08-30 01:10:08 PM  
*sigh* ...capitalism.

 
natedogtx 2008-08-30 01:18:05 PM  
www.retroviral.net

 
iaazathot 2008-08-30 01:28:30 PM  
TheDaymoose: flyf15

The article describes it as a fight where a knife came out, and the guy pretty much said "No wait this sucks, I'm sorry, here's $30 dollars to stop"

Robbery starts with intent to get money, this guy just saw a good deal and took it.


If it kept him from dying, then it was a smart thing to do. The smartest thing to do would be to have not gotten in the altercation in the first place. However, speaking as someone whose office is right behind a nasty bar, sometimes trouble finds you.

 
sexy-fetus 2008-08-30 01:47:19 PM  
Nice, I just took my son to that park last weekend.

 
tonguedepressor [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:52:07 PM  
Stabber got ripped, victim would've gone as high as $200.

 
tonguedepressor [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 01:53:32 PM  
Should've checked on eBay first.

 
12inpianist 2008-08-30 02:01:56 PM  
tonguedepressor: Should've checked on eBay first.

B-

Would consider stabbing again.

 
JesterGirl [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 02:42:57 PM  
Don't suppose he wrote a check? Nah, definitely would've aimed a lot higher than $30!

 
thfpt 2008-08-30 03:05:59 PM  
It was probably a bum fight, being videotaped for youtube.
Here in Salt Lake City, this is the "bad" park, where the homeless and the junkies hang out. It's somewhat humorous, to hear people talk about it as if it were a gangland warzone and awful violent crimes are commonplace. My guess is that they have never lived in another city other than SLC, where any crime involving a minority is automatically described in the media as being gang related. Yeah, y'know, because there's such a bad gang problem here.
(trying not to snicker)

 
Gobobo 2008-08-30 03:28:53 PM  
E Arkhe: The attacker must have slashed his prices.

Watch out, you're so sharp you might cut yourself.

 
Phil Moskowitz 2008-08-30 04:05:21 PM  
OW! How about 20? ARRRRGH! 30?

 
low.dose 2008-08-30 10:34:51 PM  
free market biatches!

 
47 is the new 42 2008-08-30 11:06:29 PM  
The article never actually states whether the guy giving the stabber $30 was successful in stopping the stabber froms stabbing him. After all, if I were the stabber, I'd take the money, but I'd probably still stab. Taking money under false pretenses? No because I would eventually stop.

/Not that I actually stab anyone.

 
juanolator 2008-08-31 12:30:08 AM  
How about:

"Man, stabbed, invents concept of hold-up."

 
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