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(NFreview) Amusing Jessica Simpson's transition to country going as well as expected: "It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson's show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck. At some point, a train knows where it's going"   (nfreview.com) divider line 29
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CrankMyBlueSax 2008-08-29 05:02:13 PM  
i28.photobucket.com

Gravity should have an equal effect on trains, tits, and her career.

 
Howard Finkelstein [TotalFark] 2008-08-29 05:14:25 PM  
Before the new song "Man Enough," she said her man must be ready for anything - including the possibility she's pregnant with an alien.

Ok, now that's just Katie Holmes weird.

Before "Remember That," a song about abuse, she said God wanted her to record it "so I could stand up here and be witness to you guys."

......


Armed with that confidence, Simpson opened up about God, divorce and, um, flatulence.

"I do pass gas a lot," she said. "I guarantee it smells like roses."

Seventy bucks a ticket, folks.


Just wow. Impressed:

cache.eb.com

 
Dr.Zom 2008-08-29 08:15:45 PM  
$70 a ticket.

 
squidloe 2008-08-29 08:22:36 PM  
I've got Romo in my FF league. I really hope she doesn't fark his game up.

/leave Tony alone

 
imfallen_angel 2008-08-29 08:31:36 PM  
yada yada yada... who cares...

just post pictures of her already....

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-08-29 08:33:47 PM  
imfallen_angel: yada yada yada... who cares...

just post pictures of her already....


You got the hots for that dude?

img.dailymail.co.uk

 
labomba 2008-08-29 08:42:08 PM  
squidloe: I've got Romo in my FF league. I really hope she doesn't fark his game up.

/leave Tony alone


I've got simpson in my fantasy file. I really hope he doesn't fark her snatch up.

/leave Jessica alone

 
MBA Whore 2008-08-29 08:54:41 PM  
I am sick of this busty blond trollop. Would someone stick something in her mouth to make her STFU? It can be your cock or anything else. I wish someone would make her STFU and show her tits, or just STFU.

 
jonbasini 2008-08-29 09:00:54 PM  
$70 a ticket.

THe Avalon Ballroom is the performance hall for a fairly new casino located in Niagara Falls Canada. THey do attract some interesting acts for fairly crazy ticket prices. Acts such as Kevin Costners band, Bruce Willis's band, and the Blues Brothers ( Akroyd and Jim Belushi) would play for 120$ a ticket. I remember once wining tickets to the Blues Bros band, and I tried ddesperatly to sell the tix for 50$ for the pair, I could NOT get any bites, gave the tix to my sister for doin my taxes that year.

Blah Blah,
All you Farkers, splendor in bustin my grapefruits for the lame nature of this submission.

 
Heroic Poser 2008-08-29 09:07:04 PM  
She's going to make someone a lovely End Table someday.

 
OneBrightMonkey 2008-08-29 09:54:23 PM  
She was never hot.

Stumpy, horse-face with giant sag-tits + superdumb - talent = no thanks.

I'd fark her face-carved, lip-synching whore of a sister though. Preferably prior to being "Fall Out Boy'ed" by their miniature, gay bassist but I'll take what I can get.

 
Shenanigans! 2008-08-29 10:08:04 PM  
Who pays $70 a pop to see that no-talent jiggly moron?

She's missed her calling...if she were giving lap dances at some midwestern strip club, no one would be ridiculing her - she'd be celebrated and in her element.

 
Uncorrect 2008-08-29 10:18:07 PM  
Shenanigans!: Who pays $70 a pop to see that no-talent jiggly moron?

She's missed her calling...if she were giving lap dances at some midwestern strip club, no one would be ridiculing her - she'd be celebrated and in her element.


Yeah, cause then she'd be getting a couple hundred bucks a night for having nice tits instead of the millions her rack's raked in. Like she really cares what a frickin' moron the world thinks she is - she's richer than 95% of the planet will ever be. The people who pay to see her are the ones who should be mocked.

/Unless she gets naked - that would be worth the price of a movie.
//At least a matinee.

 
cheap_thoughts 2008-08-29 10:18:46 PM  
OneBrightMonkey: She was never hot.

Stumpy, horse-face with giant sag-tits + superdumb - talent = no thanks.


studman69?

I think she's hot. But what do I know, I can't got a penis

/penis

 
The Why Not Guy [TotalFark] 2008-08-29 10:57:48 PM  
Here's the thing I don't understand about people like Jessica Simpson. Aren't there any young women with pretty faces and big tits that can also sing and act? Why can't they be famous instead?

 
Delawheredad 2008-08-29 11:31:25 PM  
If people are stupid enough to pay $70 to see Jessica Simpson they are too stupid to be allowed to spend money in the first place.

 
mikalmd 2008-08-30 12:04:23 AM  
Just another "Hump Me, Dump ME"....

 
Shenanigans! 2008-08-30 12:17:21 AM  
Uncorrect: Like she really cares what a frickin' moron the world thinks she is - she's richer than 95% of the planet will ever be. The people who pay to see her are the ones who should be mocked.

She cares when she's getting booed off the stage. If you think she's a secure individual just because she's wealthy you obviously never saw her reality show.

The fact that people pay money for her albums/concerts/products is proof that she doesn't have a monopoly on stupid.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 02:14:46 AM  
The only thing Simpson has in common with Dolly Parton are huge ... .

...tracts o' land?

God knows it isn't talent, charm or acting ability.

 
Zorkthemadman 2008-08-30 04:17:19 AM  
She's a talentless cumdump

 
havesometea 2008-08-30 08:26:51 AM  
I predict she could/would have a successful transition to a porn career if she tried.

 
CaffietineFiend [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-30 09:54:28 AM  
That was one of the best concert reviews I think I've ever read.

 
MarkMartinFan 2008-08-30 11:10:20 AM  
"I told my daddy I'm never going to sing again ... I'm going to ignore this gift God gave me."

I can't begin to describe the amount of 'fail' in that statement. However, her 'daddy' needs to be flogged for not taking her up on the offer.

 
Parasitic_Spin [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:13:54 AM  
The Why: Aren't there any young women with pretty faces and big tits that can also sing and act? Why can't they be famous instead?

This.

 
Eufah Kennidiets 2008-08-30 02:47:22 PM  
CrankMyBlueSax: Gravity should have an equal effect on trains, tits, and her career.

She's singing for Mr. Big now??? Please, God, no.

/obscure?

 
HeadbangerSmurf [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 06:38:41 PM  
She's singing for Mr. Big now??? Please, God, no.

/obscure?


Replace Eric Martin with her? NO!

/not obscure

 
davynelson 2008-08-30 07:55:59 PM  
i saw her sing once on tv

she's horrible


plus, she looks like a trannie
DID YOU USED TO BE A GUY?

 
Marisyana 2008-08-30 08:43:02 PM  
I'm dreading the inevitable reality show when she and Romo get married. Don't think it won't happen.

/2009, book it, done

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2008-08-30 11:04:19 PM  
Tits or GTFO

 
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