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(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Your relationship status is actually quite clear - too stupid to be together   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 65
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AirForceVet [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 08:38:32 PM  
This issue of NWFL Daily News has all sorts of little jewels like THIS. (Opens new window).

 
Freakpower [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:44:59 PM  
FTA - The disturbance was called in by a family member who was not there at the time of the argument

If an argument happens in a white trash ghetto and a family member is not around to hear it, does it become a disturbance?

News at 11

 
kc9fsh 2008-08-24 10:01:43 PM  
kc9fsh.com

 
Sardonic_Padre 2008-08-24 10:22:10 PM  
I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?

 
Sardonic_Padre 2008-08-24 10:22:45 PM  
oooh, bad apostrophe!

 
allthesametome 2008-08-24 10:22:47 PM  
This is why poly is the only way to go!

 
00ghost27 2008-08-24 10:23:14 PM  
they did break up right?

cause she wants to fark other dudes

 
Feltonl 2008-08-24 10:23:28 PM  
They sound like a nice couple, I wonder if she needs a bicycle, a lighter, and a couple pennies?

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 10:24:28 PM  
Feltonl: They sound like a nice couple, I wonder if she needs a bicycle, a lighter, and a couple pennies?

Way overpayment.

 
Richard Saunders 2008-08-24 10:28:54 PM  
allthesametome: This is why poly is the only way to go!

Who's polly and is she busy tomorrow night?

 
I_AM_M 2008-08-24 10:30:08 PM  
Hey dude, kick her on down the road. The only forever she's gonna give ya is some nasty STD.

 
McManus_brothers [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 10:32:40 PM  
North FL, you make me embarrassed to be a part of this state.

/of course, south FL is no great place either

 
CelesX 2008-08-24 10:33:17 PM  
A couple who told the Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputy that they had been drinking heavily got into an argument about the status of their relationship.

The man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.


They've been together for seven years... and they're just now having that discussion?

 
skinink 2008-08-24 10:33:31 PM  

"The man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years."


Ah, so my ex-wife is finally getting the fifteen minutes of fame she said she'd always get.


 
A_bomb37 2008-08-24 10:34:47 PM  
I_AM_M: Hey dude, kick her on down the road. The only forever she's gonna give ya is some nasty STD.

There's a cream for that.

 
mikaloyd 2008-08-24 10:35:32 PM  
Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?


Terrible and full

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-08-24 10:36:02 PM  
Richard Saunders: allthesametome: This is why poly is the only way to go!

Who's polly and is she busy tomorrow night?


Some featherbrained chick with a thing for crackers.

 
TimonC346 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-24 10:41:20 PM  
I had a friend who got the clap from his woman. Now, as far as I know, the only STD you can be infected with, without some sort of close contact, is scabies (read an article in Men's Health about that one. Poor dude got dumped for having them, and it was because he slept in some dumpy hotel, sans another woman. OH--and I get the blood to blood transfusion thing, don't nitpick farker).

So he woke up the next morning with some sort of something coming out his ding-a-ling, confused as hell. When he found out, I don't think a cop in the land would have put him behind bars for some sort of vengeance, he was cool about it, dumped her, and got an AIDS test. This was a 4 month relationship. A 7 year relationship? If it happened, which in this case seemed possible, that's the worst way to find out.

What am I saying? Not sure. I guess it could be worse?

 
grantjoy 2008-08-24 10:46:28 PM  
TimonC346: I had a friend who got the clap from his woman. Now, as far as I know, the only STD you can be infected with, without some sort of close contact, is scabies (read an article in Men's Health about that one. Poor dude got dumped for having them, and it was because he slept in some dumpy hotel, sans another woman. OH--and I get the blood to blood transfusion thing, don't nitpick farker).

So he woke up the next morning with some sort of something coming out his ding-a-ling, confused as hell. When he found out, I don't think a cop in the land would have put him behind bars for some sort of vengeance, he was cool about it, dumped her, and got an AIDS test. This was a 4 month relationship. A 7 year relationship? If it happened, which in this case seemed possible, that's the worst way to find out.

What am I saying? Not sure. I guess it could be worse?


continue

 
Joan of Fark 2008-08-24 10:49:07 PM  
Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?


milk & honey

/San Francisco

 
wildancrazy159 2008-08-24 10:50:19 PM  
Im sick and tired of reading about some women needing "her space",
the next thing you know they show up with a god damn Purple headed womb ferret, and claim its yours!

/ i just wanted to say Purple headed womb ferret, and this tread was the closest to the mark..
Purple headed womb ferret

 
mjoven1975 [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 10:52:56 PM  
Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?


Calling California "Cali" should result in repeated cockpunching. I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that abbreviation.

/Frisco is okay though

 
ZoeNekros 2008-08-24 10:55:09 PM  
mjoven1975: /Frisco is okay though

Not from the bay area, are ya?

 
FredGarvin 2008-08-24 10:59:32 PM  
California? beats the dogshiat out of the utter turdhole that is Florida. But then again, so does hell.

 
Hector Remarkable 2008-08-24 10:59:45 PM  
Sardonic_Padre:Joan of Fark: Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?

milk & honey


/San Francisco


I think he means pot & money.

 
Khazar-Khum 2008-08-24 11:00:27 PM  
ZoeNekros: mjoven1975: /Frisco is okay though

Not from the bay area, are ya?


Probably thinks Riverside is on the beach, too.

 
mjoven1975 [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 11:01:15 PM  
ZoeNekros: mjoven1975: /Frisco is okay though

Not from the bay area, are ya?


Sure am. The term "Frisco" doesn't bother me at all, but I know it pisses people from SF off big time. "Cali" is nails on a chalkboard though.

 
The Dogs of War 2008-08-24 11:02:09 PM  
TimonC346:

blah..blah...blah...next morning with some sort of something coming out his ding-a-ling, confused as hell. blah...blah...blah...

What am I saying? Not sure. I guess it could be worse?


what the heck was that? continue, inquisitive minds would like to know...

 
altinos 2008-08-24 11:02:19 PM  
FTFA:
The man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.

So they've been together forever...

 
altinos 2008-08-24 11:03:14 PM  
allthesametome: This is why poly is the only way to go!

Polyamory sometimes works...the problem is that humans are involved.

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-08-24 11:03:27 PM  
altinos: FTFA:
The man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.

So they've been together forever...


You can't avoid the Seven Year Stupid.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-08-24 11:06:04 PM  
Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?


Not much better in some places. And I'm a native. But at least there's still room to get the hell away from people.

FTFAThe man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.

O.....K..... So she wants to nail the whole neighborhood. You don't. Now would be a good time to leave, champ.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-08-24 11:08:44 PM  
CelesX: A couple who told the Okaloosa County Sheriff's deputy that they had been drinking heavily got into an argument about the status of their relationship.

The man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.

They've been together for seven years... and they're just now having that discussion?


Ever heard the term "7 year itch" ?

 
ChadManMn 2008-08-24 11:15:30 PM  
fanbladesaresharp: Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?

Not much better in some places. And I'm a native. But at least there's still room to get the hell away from people.

FTFAThe man told the deputy that he is looking for someone "forever," while she likes multiple partners. They have lived together for seven years.

O.....K..... So she wants to nail the whole neighborhood. You don't. Now would be a good time to leave, champ.


Or at least take some good pics to post online. Maybe on some forum type site that is full of pervs.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-08-24 11:18:53 PM  
mjoven1975: ZoeNekros: mjoven1975: /Frisco is okay though

Not from the bay area, are ya?

Sure am. The term "Frisco" doesn't bother me at all, but I know it pisses people from SF off big time. "Cali" is nails on a chalkboard though.


Same here. People get too hung up on their versions of the terminology when referencing. Let's see we have Frisco, Oak Town, V Town, Jose....hell even any number of less-than-admirable terms for various suburbs and neighborhoods.

 
myalias1845 2008-08-24 11:19:50 PM  
mikaloyd: Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?

Terrible and full


Not so terrible. Definitely full. No room for more unless you're coming to solve our immigration problem.

 
Meisaims 2008-08-24 11:22:48 PM  
It's not news, it's...... not news.

 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 11:28:19 PM  
fanbladesaresharp: Ever heard the term "7 year itch" ?

If I'm in a committed relationship like living together or being married, I stay monogamous because I don't want to bring any STDs home, and I'd be really upset if she were screwing around on me. I'm surprised I stayed married for so long as it went nearly sexless for more years than I want to confess to.

Some years back, I broke off with one woman who asked me to move in with her and her two kids. I found out she was doing three men on an on-call basis. They would call her up on her cell, and she'd hook up with them. No emotion or anything, just sex. She explained "I'm just like a prostitute, I just don't get paid."

/I still have her Florida address if anyone is interested.

 
Brown Sauce 2008-08-24 11:41:44 PM  
Man trouble! (new window)

 
Danger Avoid Death 2008-08-24 11:42:28 PM  
AirForceVet: fanbladesaresharp: Ever heard the term "7 year itch" ?

If I'm in a committed relationship like living together or being married, I stay monogamous because I don't want to bring any STDs home, and I'd be really upset if she were screwing around on me. I'm surprised I stayed married for so long as it went nearly sexless for more years than I want to confess to.

Some years back, I broke off with one woman who asked me to move in with her and her two kids. I found out she was doing three men on an on-call basis. They would call her up on her cell, and she'd hook up with them. No emotion or anything, just sex. She explained "I'm just like a prostitute, I just don't get paid."

/I still have her Florida address if anyone is interested.


Dude, everybody's got her Florida address.

 
bunner [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 11:53:25 PM  
Brown Sauce: Man trouble! (new window)

Oh, God.

:- /

 
williamzabka 2008-08-24 11:56:38 PM  
AirForceVet: fanbladesaresharp: Ever heard the term "7 year itch" ?

If I'm in a committed relationship like living together or being married, I stay monogamous because I don't want to bring any STDs home, and I'd be really upset if she were screwing around on me. I'm surprised I stayed married for so long as it went nearly sexless for more years than I want to confess to.

Some years back, I broke off with one woman who asked me to move in with her and her two kids. I found out she was doing three men on an on-call basis. They would call her up on her cell, and she'd hook up with them. No emotion or anything, just sex. She explained "I'm just like a prostitute, I just don't get paid."

/I still have her Florida address if anyone is interested.


oooh, me me!

 
bostonowns 2008-08-25 12:12:34 AM  
thought this was guna be about facebook... ;\

 
ZoeNekros 2008-08-25 12:32:06 AM  
fanbladesaresharp: Same here. People get too hung up on their versions of the terminology when referencing. Let's see we have Frisco, Oak Town, V Town, Jose....hell even any number of less-than-admirable terms for various suburbs and neighborhoods.

I don't care either; I just thought it odd that he gets perturbed about "Cali" but not "Frisco." I say both, and don't mind any of the terms used to identify California or its various sections/cities... Well, I guess I dislike "The City" since it's a description, not a name. I'm originally from LA, so if someone said they "worked in the city" they just meant they worked downtown. That usage just makes sense, no matter where you live.

/lives in Berkeley now

 
Fuggin Bizzy 2008-08-25 12:39:59 AM  
mjoven1975: The term "Frisco" doesn't bother me at all, but I know it pisses people from SF off big time.

Why is that, anyway? Is there some inherent reason it's annoying, or is it just way, way overused? Penis.

 
SCUBA_Archer 2008-08-25 12:43:09 AM  
Sardonic_Padre: I need to get the fark out of this state....

/how's Cali?


We just moved from Pensacola to SoCal (is SoCal ok to say?)

The increase in relative IQ is refreshing. Although it seems like there are more jacked up pickups per capita here than anywhere in FL.

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-08-25 12:44:56 AM  
AirForceVet: No emotion or anything, just sex. She explained "I'm just like a prostitute, I just don't get paid."

The Man-O-balls in you should be saying: Now is a good farking time to cut and run. Let some other shlep deal with it, but warn him first. That's the Guy Code™.

 
Jarhed13 2008-08-25 12:47:00 AM  
Brown Sauce: Man trouble! (new window)

Is that.....is that REAL?!

 
fanbladesaresharp 2008-08-25 12:52:20 AM  
ZoeNekros:

/lives in Berkeley now


Sheeeit. I'm on the east coast now. Here the 'sutherners get irritated by the yankee "The city" either being NYC or Philly. Or D.C. Geez. pick one. And "Hotlanta" too just for scorched earth fun.

 
st.theresa 2008-08-25 12:57:41 AM  
Brown Sauce: Man trouble! (new window)

Funniest I've seen in a while. I read all of 'em. Gah, I wish I could send up one of our locals.

 
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