No hero tag?

The accountant from Baxter, Minn., challenged the method the IRS has used for more than 20 years to tax shares and cash distributed by mutual life insurance firms to their policyholders when they reorganize as public companies.

MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.

That's actually possible?

3..2..1 - every fails to read the story and concludes they don't have to pay tax.

SilentStrider: That's actually possible?

well, yeah. But if you win, you get sent to Gitmo as a terrorist. So there's that.

flucto: 3..2..1 - every fails to read the story and concludes they don't have to pay tax.

Congress will just change the law next year to retro-actively cover the loophole.

SilentStrider: That's actually possible?

Sure, as long as you're not an "income tax is unconstitutional" wingnut or something and have an actually valid argument (and can afford a tax attorney) to bring before an actual judge. The problem is that most folks who have a dispute with the IRS rely on the good judgment of the IRS to resolve their dispute, since relatively few tax disputes are worth hiring a lawyer over. And if you think that's accidental on the part of the Treasury Dept., think again.

kronicfeld: The accountant from Baxter, Minn., challenged the method the IRS has used for more than 20 years to tax shares and cash distributed by mutual life insurance firms to their policyholders when they reorganize as public companies.

MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.

THIS.

Weaver95: flucto: 3..2..1 - every fails to read the story and concludes they don't have to pay tax.

Congress will just change the law next year to retro-actively cover the loophole.

And THAT.

He's still alive?

This one is from my funny pictures folder:

To any of the IRS Farkers who happen to read this, I would, as I always do, like to take this time to thank you for your service that you provide to us, and the hard work and negative sterotypes you have to face on a daily basis.

/please don't audit me

kronicfeld: The accountant from Baxter, Minn., challenged the method the IRS has used for more than 20 years to tax shares and cash distributed by mutual life insurance firms to their policyholders when they reorganize as public companies.

MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.

You are goddamn straight. I'm headin' out straightaway in the am tomorrow to git myself one of them dadburned "mutual life insurance firms" to uhh... make me a policy holder and give me some cash or a share, and re-organize as a public company, just to screw the IRS over. I'll be livin' it up by noon, boys!

GTFO. I was just coming here to submit this story. And, we here on FARK make fun of old people with our 'get of our lawn' mantra when one of these old timers is responsible for a possible tax refund.

missmez: No hero tag?

Caption for the photo:

"I've got 4"

Weaver95: well, yeah. But if you win, you get sent to Gitmo as a terrorist. So there's that.

Don't they do that even if you send back an uncooked meal?

This already happened in 1994 -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hnTQ8PgvIY

I knew a street hooker who left being an IRS agent because it was too sleazy.

Expect refunds for taxes on $ from:

Acacia Mutual (1997).
American Mutual (1996); 300,000 policyholders
American United (2000); 175,000 policyholders.
Ameritas (1997).
Canada Life (1999); 388,000 policyholders.
Central Life Assurance (2000); 300,000 policyholders.
Equitable Life Assurance Society (1992).
General American (2000); 330,000 policyholders.
Guarantee Mutual Life (1995)
Indianapolis Life (2001); 200,000 policyholders.
Industrial-Alliance (Canada) (1999); 700,000 policyholders.
John Hancock (2000); 3,000,000 policyholders.
Lafayette Life (2000)
Manulife (1999)
Metropolitan Life ((2000); 11,200,000 policyholders.
Midland Life (1994)
Minnesota Mutual Life (1998)
Mutual of New York (1998); 800,000 policyholders.
Mutual Life of Canada (2000)
Mutual Service Life (2005) ***
National Travelers (2000)
Nationwide Life (1997)
Northwestern National (1989)
Ohio National (1998)
Phoenix Home Life (2001); 500,000 policyholders.
Principal Mutual (2001); 925,000 policyholders
Provident Mutual (2002)
Prudential (2001); 11,000,000 policyholders.
Security Mutual Life of Nebraska (1999)
Standard Insurance Co. (1999); 125,000 policyholders.
State Mutual Life (1995); 100,000 policyholders.
Sun Life of Canada (2000)
Union Mutual (UNUM) (1986)
Western & Southern Life (2000)

I liked the guy who paid his staff in gold bullion, then submitted income taxes to the IRS at the government's official gold/dollar exchange rate of $42.2222 per troy ounce.

TFA was sorely lacking in details.

So I guess there's only one certain thing in life now.

I know it's not the IRS, but I just want to say to anybody who works for the Virginia Department of Taxation:
fark YOU

1) I paid my taxes in 2006. You withdrew that money from every single paycheck. What kind of poor record keeping makes you keep track of the amount that I owed, but not the amount that I paid?
2) Why the fark do you say that a "copy" of my W2 form isn't acceptable, but once I get the "real" form I can fax it to you? A fax is inherently a copy.
3) I called after faxing the thing to make sure everything was cool and was told, "That fax goes to our fax server--which is a computer--so it takes 4 to 6 weeks to process it. It's not like it goes to a fax machine where somebody can pick it up and look at." If your computer is less efficient than a bunch of idiots dealing with hard copies, you're doing it wrong.

It's fun that a state I don't live in anymore is trying to garnish my wages from a company that I don't work at to pay a debt that I don't owe for taxes I already paid. Good job guys.

missmez: No hero tag?

Or a brass yarbols tag...this guy is my new hero...previous hero is Emperor Norton and before that it was the first balloon lawnchair pilot guy.

I got a cash distribution from a demutualization, so first I was like: Yea!

Then I read:

Many of the 30 million policyholders are probably too late to seek refunds, since claims must be filed within three years of the April 15 tax deadline. That means the statute of limitations for taxes paid for 2004 ran out April 15, 2008.

And I was like: Bah!

/get screwed by tax laws so much I hang like wizard sleeve.

/oh the humanity

Hooray! This man is a hero! I will now receive a refund based on my overpayment of taxes on shares that were distributed to me as a shareholder over 4 years ago!!!!11!eleventy!1


FTFA: "It's not clear how many people could benefit from the ruling. Many of the 30 million policyholders are probably too late to seek refunds, since claims must be filed within three years of the April 15 tax deadline. That means the statute of limitations for taxes paid for 2004 ran out April 15, 2008."


::face turns blood red::

Weaver95: flucto: 3..2..1 - every fails to read the story and concludes they don't have to pay tax.

Congress will just change the law next year to retro-actively cover the loophole.

This isn't really a loophole. This guy established that he had a basis in the investment and this is pretty standard - it was the IRS that was abusing a loophole of sorts. And the IRS loses a lot, not too often to one guy on this big of a level though.

/I really don't want to finish my real tax research tonight. So a Farkin I will go.
//But I do have to. Ugh.

HowAboutNo: Hooray! This man is a hero! I will now receive a refund based on my overpayment of taxes on shares that were distributed to me as a shareholder over 4 years ago!!!!11!eleventy!1


FTFA: "It's not clear how many people could benefit from the ruling. Many of the 30 million policyholders are probably too late to seek refunds, since claims must be filed within three years of the April 15 tax deadline. That means the statute of limitations for taxes paid for 2004 ran out April 15, 2008."


::face turns blood red::

FRTFA can I have Emporer Norton back?

WOO! I never thought I'd see the day when state sales tax was declared unconstitutional!

The I.R.S. was pretty reasonable when they caught up to me.

This guy will commit suicide shortly by shooting himself in the back of the head.

10 times.

I once got a form letter style nastygram from the IRS saying I didn't pay my taxes that year, I was a bad person, I'll be locked up in a PMITA prison forever, blah blah. Got a copy of the canceled check from the bank, mailed it in with a letter explaining that, and a week later got a nice letter apologizing for the whole mixup.

Given how messed up the tax code is, I'm amazed the IRS even gets it right, let alone most of the time. And generally, they're pretty darn easy to work with, provided you have a decent head and all.

Von Mises: I liked the guy who paid his staff in gold bullion, then submitted income taxes to the IRS at the government's official gold/dollar exchange rate of $42.2222 per troy ounce.

This wouldn't actually change the income tax although it would lower the FICA. The thing is, when they sold the gold coins they would owe capital gains tax--it would be short term capital gains and thus taxed at the same rate as income.

Payback's a biatch.

I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.

My Dad filed his taxes for the first time this year and they sent the form back to him with a note that said, "Could you please explain where this money came from?"

Great Janitor: I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.

I hope you're posting this from somebody else's computer in an internet cafe.

serial_crusher: I know it's not the IRS, but I just want to say to anybody who works for the Virginia Department of Taxation:
fark YOU

1) I paid my taxes in 2006. You withdrew that money from every single paycheck. What kind of poor record keeping makes you keep track of the amount that I owed, but not the amount that I paid?
2) Why the fark do you say that a "copy" of my W2 form isn't acceptable, but once I get the "real" form I can fax it to you? A fax is inherently a copy.
3) I called after faxing the thing to make sure everything was cool and was told, "That fax goes to our fax server--which is a computer--so it takes 4 to 6 weeks to process it. It's not like it goes to a fax machine where somebody can pick it up and look at." If your computer is less efficient than a bunch of idiots dealing with hard copies, you're doing it wrong.

It's fun that a state I don't live in anymore is trying to garnish my wages from a company that I don't work at to pay a debt that I don't owe for taxes I already paid. Good job guys.

People who have decided to spend their entire working lives in a government bureaucracy are a very special breed.

/and by 'breed' I mean inter-sibling sex for ten thousand years

Great Janitor: I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.

You sure? Reported.

/not really
//POW

Great Janitor: I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.
And you put your name and picture in your profile? The IRS is gonna be looking for your bulbous cartoon head.

thesubliminalman: And you put your name and picture in your profile?

That's just farking hilarious.

Great Janitor: I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.

Unreported income will get you screwed more than just about anything. IRS agents have throbbing wet dreams about coming across it.

So when I file my taxes what should I report things I steal as?

Sodium Benzoate: So when I file my taxes what should I report things I steal as?

Income. The legality of the income has nothing to do with the fact that it's income.

Fun IRC Trivia: Business expenses are generally tax-deductible. If you're a drug dealer, though, the only deductible business expense is the cost of goods sold.

/no shiat

whizbang: Expect refunds for taxes on $ from:


Sun Life of Canada (2000)

This company is a total fabrication.

NeauxFear
Can a street thug deduct the gas they use for a drive by? It is a business related expense.

Sodium Benzoate: So when I file my taxes what should I report things I steal as?

The only appropriate category would require you to run for some public office.

Then you'd put them where all the rest of the thieves do, under "Campaign Contributions".

NYZooMan: Great Janitor: I started working as a DJ recently for parties. Get paid $200 up front, $200 when the party is over, $100 if the party goes beyond 4 hours plus tips. I try to get two gigs per week. That money is tax free because I don't claim it (getting paid in cash and all that). I still have my 9-5 day job so the IRS doesn't even suspect that I'm making more money in one week DJ-ing than I make in two weeks at work.

Unreported income will get you screwed more than just about anything. IRS agents have throbbing wet dreams about coming across it.

I have the form (new window). All I need is your name and address.

Not because I like the IRS, mind you. In my experience, most DJs are assholes.

//Just kidding. I'm not that evil

Meh, the last two times the IRS came after me:

Said I owed about $1500. Actually owed $115 (and I am still pretty pissed I screwed up and owed anything - it was the year I bought my first house and was selling everything short of my second kidney to make the 20% down and I missed accounting for a sale when I didn't get the 1098 or whatever on it).

Just last year said I owed about $200. I owed $0.00 (and they agreed after I pointed out they were the ones who couldn't add).

Good accountants don't work for the IRS, they're pulling a better paycheck in private industry. If you can get an argument with the IRS into the realm of logic rather than pigheadedness (where they win every time), you have a great shot.