You know, it's funny to watch people fit current events into biblical prophecy. It's even more funny when people try to determine the identity of the anti-christ. I can't find it on youtube, but I remember a long time again there was some froot-loop on Donahue or some show making his case why Reagan was the anti-christ. It was completely amusing, and kind of sad, really.

Obama isn't the anti-christ, but when he is elected he will have sex with all your white women because he has a GIANT BLACK PENIS

I was attacked by flying scorpions at an Obama rally.

But top Republican opinion-makes Pat Robertson said that the antichrist would be a Jewish male, not a secret Muslim.

jimmyhaha: But top Republican opinion-makes Pat Robertson said that the antichrist would be a Jewish male, not a secret Muslim.

Hey, you are what you eat, and Obama eats Jew babies.

He is the anti-christ.


A vote for Obama is a vote for the Rapture.

God planned this out a long time ago.

See you heathens in hell. Oh wait, lol you're gonna be stuck here while I'm like all up in heaven having sex with all the virtuous women. I think you can even have sex with the scenery there.

ENJOY SEX WITH CRACKHEADS FOR 7 YEARS.

Fundamentalists for Obama, 2008! Take us to the promised land anti-Jesus.

See? I told you guys he was the anti-Christ.

But did you believe me? NOOOO. Next he'll be uniting the Jews and Arabs in the new rebuilt Uni-Temple in Jerusalem. Then it'll be prophets risen from the dead, miracles in the streets, prophets returned to the dead, cats and dogs living together, earthquakes, volcanoes: disasters of biblical proportions.

You'll see. Vote for the guy. I know you will - I skipped ahead and read the end of the book.

Unfortunately he is the anti-Christ, but the equivalent figure of some obscure religion that is practised by 10 people in the world. Since their god is vengeful and will smite anyone who doesn't believe in him we're all royally farked.

FTA: Some claim they see clear similarities between the figure described in the book of Revelation - a charismatic, crowd-pleasing leader with an evil heart who rallies the world around a false message of peace - and the Democratic candidate.

Do you know who else was a charismatic, crowd-pleasing leader with an evil heart who rallies the world around a false message of peace??

So? The Antichrist will unite the nations and religions of the world, bring peace to the Earth, and try his hardest against a vengeful God who likes to throw frogs and locusts at people who don't bow down and lick his feet. I'd vote for him.

I dunno. Based on that picture he looks more like a Ba'al Demon.

Whamdangler: You know, it's funny to watch people fit current events into biblical prophecy.

It's been happening for a looooong time.

Subby, don't you know ANYTHING?

Michael Moore's the AntiChrist, and he's going to lead you to hell.

YES, Hell is real. Here's proof!*


*By proof, we mean one nutjob's personal musings

Isn't this article a repeat?

I thought that he was cleared of the Anti-Christ charge earlier this week?

And if he's the Anti-Christ, shouldn't his rise, being foretold, be a sign that good Christians should be turning from the secular and back to the sacred, tending to their own flocks, and getting ready for The Rapture?

I'm the anti-Crust, so I lop it off my sandwiches.

submitter: It's more likely than you know

An idiot getting a well-worn cliche wrong in MY fark? It's more likely than you think.

hubiestubert: I thought that he was cleared of the Anti-Christ charge earlier this week?

And if he's the Anti-Christ, shouldn't his rise, being foretold, be a sign that good Christians should be turning from the secular and back to the sacred, tending to their own flocks, and getting ready for The Rapture?

Nah, I figure right about now Bugenhagen is digging up those neat knives.

All we need for the kickoff's some wacky chick tying a noose around her neck and jumping off the balcony at the convention.

"Look, Barack - this is all for YOU!" (aiee! crack!)

Oh, and did you think it was a COINCIDENCE that the Hounds of Hell in "The Omen" were ghetto ponies?

/"This is the new first dog"

s/"This is the new first dog"/"This is the new first dog - we call him Wiggles."

If you GIS "antichrist", the 2nd result is Bush.

The fundie-dunderheads should vote for Obama if they really think he's the antichrist. Once he gets power, he'll certainly hasten the rapture, and they can all fly away and leave me a nicer car (slightly dented).

Two Dogs Farking: Obama isn't the anti-christ, but when he is elected he will have sex with all your white women because he has a GIANT BLACK PENIS

i'm glad we've cleared that up

Some claim they see clear similarities between the figure described in the book of Revelation - a charismatic, crowd-pleasing leader with an evil heart who rallies the world around a false message of peace

I thought Bush pretty much already did that.

smooshie: So? The Antichrist will unite the nations and religions of the world, bring peace to the Earth, and try his hardest against a vengeful God who likes to throw frogs and locusts at people who don't bow down and lick his feet. I'd vote for him.

There's a science fiction story where mankind eventually gets fed up with the war between Heaven and Hell and ends up forming a third side and kicking them both off Earth. IIRC, in the end a spiteful God darkens all the stars, but man eventually learns how to restart them.

I wish I remembered the name of that story.

I have an Auntie Christene. She seems all right

I thought we weren't supposed to know who was the Anti-Christ until he/she was in power.

or

I thought the Anti-Christ was supposed to come from Europe and lead some sort of Islamic-Russian alliance.

Even if Obama is the anti-Christ. He is still better than McInsane.

culebra:

That is one of the funniest damn pictures I've ever seen. Bravo to you, Sir.

Sadly, my wife's mother would probably look at that and wonder why the scary black man was attacking those girls.

The right has gone way off the deep end. They have truly lost their minds. Pathetic, really.

12349876: I thought the Anti-Christ was supposed to come from Europe and lead some sort of Islamic-Russian alliance.

Quite amazing really, seeing as Islam was made up 600 years after the Bible was.

Shadowknight: culebra:

That is one of the funniest damn pictures I've ever seen. Bravo to you, Sir.

Sadly, my wife's mother would probably look at that and wonder why the scary black man was attacking those girls.

Welcome to Internet

RemyDuron: There's a science fiction story where mankind eventually gets fed up with the war between Heaven and Hell and ends up forming a third side and kicking them both off Earth. IIRC, in the end a spiteful God darkens all the stars, but man eventually learns how to restart them.

Sounds cool. The Christ Clone Trilogy is a series about a clone of Jesus made from cells taken from the Turin Shroud, and the End Times. It's similar to Left Behind, without the blatant preaching and sucky writing.

RemyDuron: There's a science fiction story where mankind eventually gets fed up with the war between Heaven and Hell and ends up forming a third side and kicking them both off Earth. IIRC, in the end a spiteful God darkens all the stars, but man eventually learns how to restart them.
I wish I remembered the name of that story.

I'm not positive, but I'd guess it's "Goddamn, I am SO f*cking HIGH right now!" by Phillip K. Dick.

/hard to narrow down, since that was the working title for all of his stories

12349876: I thought we weren't supposed to know who was the Anti-Christ until he/she was in power.

or

I thought the Anti-Christ was supposed to come from Europe and lead some sort of Islamic-Russian alliance.

Yea, that's what the guy said in the article that got greenlit last week.

He basically said that the Anti-Christ will come from "someplace remote... like Romania".

Romania of course being the place the Anti-Christ was from in that "Left Behind" book, the first in that series of "books for falsely righteous jerks" based on some shiat some preacher made up 150 years ago yet doesn't actually exist in the bible but that doesn't stop people from acting like righteous jerks about it.

is there an uncle christ?

smooshie: The Christ Clone Trilogy is a series about a clone of Jesus made from cells taken from the Turin Shroud, and the End Times

If we can clone Christ and capture the anti-Christ, we could put them both in a containment field and solve all our energy problems.

subby: It's more likely than you know think.

fify

/some people just don't know their fark cliches.

pizza_crust: is there an uncle christ?

nope just buddy jesus

12349876: I thought we weren't supposed to know who was the Anti-Christ until he/she was in power.

or

I thought the Anti-Christ was supposed to come from Europe and lead some sort of Islamic-Russian alliance.

Mid-East.. Not globally.. hmm whats mid-east.. mid-west.. CHICAGO!!

Did he eat pork at that BBQ today?

I heard he had a black baby.

Surely the Antichrist would be an improvement compared to your current leader?

Mugato: smooshie: The Christ Clone Trilogy is a series about a clone of Jesus made from cells taken from the Turin Shroud, and the End Times

If we can clone Christ and capture the anti-Christ, we could put them both in a containment field and solve all our energy problems.

OR SMASH THEM TOGETHER IN THE LARGE JESUS COLLIDER.

It will be farking awesome.

I think someone else used this joke before. I still like the idea of a large jesus collider.

First time I've seen that video. American politics is now beyond parody. I wonder if it will backfire on them a little.

The Right are spending a lot of time portraying Obama as a false prophet, but how often are parodies lost on the people they are intended to sway? These ads are relying on the media savvy of what appears to be a largely unsavvy group.

Keep showing images of Obama as a saintly figure and some people are going to start believing it.

RaiderFanMikeP: Did he eat pork at that BBQ today?

He eats pork and drinks alcohol all the time. Either he's not Muslim or he's under REALLY deep cover.

EdgeRunner: RemyDuron: There's a science fiction story where mankind eventually gets fed up with the war between Heaven and Hell and ends up forming a third side and kicking them both off Earth. IIRC, in the end a spiteful God darkens all the stars, but man eventually learns how to restart them.
I wish I remembered the name of that story.

I'm not positive, but I'd guess it's "Goddamn, I am SO f*cking HIGH right now!" by Phillip K. Dick.

/hard to narrow down, since that was the working title for all of his stories

Dick was, IIRC, a religious fellow, so I kind of doubt it. I think you are mistaking Burroughs for Dick there, although both partook, Burroughs did it more and got more out of it. Dick wrote one of the best anti-drug morality stories ever (Through a Scanner Darkly).

You'd think these people would WANT the freaking Antichrist to show up so they can get raptured already. They should be lining up in droves to vote for him and bring about the End Times.

whereisian: Keep showing images of Obama as a saintly figure and some people are going to start believing it.

I like how they aren't sure what to do.

Either portray him as Jesus, or as the anti-Jesus. He obviously can't be both, have both located in place in space-time is the equivalent of crossing the streams on proton packs.

If he is the Antichrist (which is stupid), then there's no sense in showing up to the polls to vote McCain, because Obama cannot lose. If you believe this, therefore, just write in Jesus.


Also, that notion of "the Antichrist" as described does not exist in the book of Revelation.