Once I fell into my parents pool while mowing. It's very, very hard to get off a solar blanket. At least I pushed the mower away from me as I fell.

His condition is unknown.

So he could be at Fenway with a dog and a beer...

Dumbass:"I'm gonna cut the head off of that gopher with the mower blade"

Gopher:"The target is in position. Engage!"

Dumbass:"What the?!? Glug, glug, glug"

I wonder what the hell they're smokin'...

Try mowing around a farm pond on a 1951 McCormick-Farmall Super C that doesn't have working brakes. It's about a 7.4/10 on the Asshole Pucker Scale.

Is there a Klingon word for loneliness? Ah... KOLN'KGIN!

FTW:

outatime: Try mowing around a farm pond on a 1951 McCormick-Farmall Super C that doesn't have working brakes. It's about a 7.4/10 on the Asshole Pucker Scale.

The one That looks like a big tricycle. That would suck .

He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

Byno: FTW: flood lawn mowing

Hey, it's Christopher Robin in his later years. :D

Danger Avoid Death: He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

And later bruised a kidney while washing dishes.

d52: Danger Avoid Death: He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

And later bruised a kidney while washing dishes.

He then broke both arms taking a long walk off a short pier.

how do these things happen anyway? makes me think of this guy:

I came here for the Klingon reference, and wasn't disappointed.

No Spinal Tap references?

/Farkers disappoint

the only thing that could have made this story better... an alligator in the water

Byno
How the fark was that stupid shiat with the bear relevant?

mowned

I've worked a patient who was pinned by hugenormous gardening equipment, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies...

/m0wned indeed

Where is the fail tag? I believe it was made for stories like this. I'm sure the fail police would have been all over it though as not fail worthy enough.

Was he perhaps a drummer for Spiñal Tap?

Was there alcohol involved in this? Seems almost unbelieveable that a grown man would mow so close to a pond that he tipped over and got trapped. Or is he just particularly stupid?

honkyboy: mowned

Omg I love you.

Esteemed subby: Thank you for not using the farktarded FAIL tag.

Yours Truly,

Shadowf200

fail tag busy mowing the dumbass tags yard or something?

outatime
Try mowing around a farm pond on a 1951 McCormick-Farmall Super C that doesn't have working brakes. It's about a 7.4/10 on the Asshole Pucker Scale.

Fix the brakes. Parts are readily available

Tr0mBoNe: d52: Danger Avoid Death: He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

And later bruised a kidney while washing dishes.

He then broke both arms taking a long walk off a short pier.

And fractured his skull lying down to sleep it off.

+

I'm another person who something like this has nearly happened to. My grandfather is too old to mow his huge 3.4 acres. So I do it for him, and until recently he has only had an ancient Sears riding mower that just would not go up and down some of the slopes on his property. This means I had to ride them at a L/R tilt, and I've absolutely been at the point where I've had to stand and lean far over to keep from flipping over and rolling down the hill.

Since there is no roll cage on most riding mowers it's easy to see how someone could thus be pinned by one after such a roll.

I have a friend who was pinned under a riding mower when it fell into his pond, so I'm getting a kick...

Really did happen. The bank caved in and both he and the mower went for a dunk. Scared the shiat out of him. His head was barely above the water, and it took him a while to get his leg out from under the mower.

the BEST part on the site is the tag line for the TV stations...

Anytime
Anywhere
Everyday

/my motto
//and I try to live by it
///everyday

I tipped a riding mower when I was 12. Of course, I jumped the fark away from it once I realized I couldn't keep it greasy side down.

Sounds like he was getting the pond ready for a water polo match.

The man, who works for a private contractor, was taken to BryanLGH West. His condition is unknown has been downgraded to dumbass.

Gyrfalcon: Tr0mBoNe: d52: Danger Avoid Death: He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

And later bruised a kidney while washing dishes.

He then broke both arms taking a long walk off a short pier.

And fractured his skull lying down to sleep it off.

After waking from his nap, he then sprained his penis while brushing his teeth.

Quantumbunny: Gyrfalcon: Tr0mBoNe: d52: Danger Avoid Death: He then broke his leg from falling out of a tree while raking leaves.

And later bruised a kidney while washing dishes.

He then broke both arms taking a long walk off a short pier.

And fractured his skull lying down to sleep it off.

After waking from his nap, he then sprained his penis while brushing his teeth.

He was the man from Nantucket.

To be fair, his sea grass was getting a bit long.

/and the HOA was complaining it was above regulation length

For no reason at all.

Anyone who doesn't see how this is possible hasn't ever mowed around a pond with a lawn tractor or riding mower. Cue the wet grass, sloping down into the pond...

I've gotten ours stuck to the point of needing help pulling it out, but never more than one wheel in the water and, fortunately, never to the point of tipping...

Submitter has apparently never mowed grass near a body of water.

nickerj1: Submitter has apparently never mowed grass near a body of water.

FTFY.

Apparently, his seaweed was getting out of hand.