I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

FTA: In a duet between a male and a female, the female's part is a long, rising series of notes that end in a fast "twitter". The male's song is less complicated. He grunts, squeals and whistles.

Proof of evolution.

I was all prepared to comment on the out-of-control apartment laws in the UK but it turns out the article is about actual monkeys.

They had the run of the outdoor area complete with playground equipment and trees to swing on, and were even allowed to roam the space at night.

Reminds me of five acres in the woods, a swing from the ceiling and no kids.

Those were the days.

Agile gibbons' calls can reach up to 100 decibels and are audible over distances of almost two miles.

I think that this deserves a mild holy crap. I don't think that I'd go as far as actually making a complaint to the zoo about this if I lived in the area, but I'd be cursing those monkeys every morning and secretly hoping that they get struck by a lightening.

Amorous gibbons...loving couple...romance...love duet...

Oh please, spare me the bullsh*t. They're f*cking, and they're yelling because it feels sooo damn good.

As well as singing to attract mates, family groups of gibbons will also do it to guard their territory. Their calls warn other gibbons to stay away from the fruit trees where they find their food.

Here's the evolutionary reason why it's awesome to yell when you're getting a really good f*ck on.

mostly monogamous

Heh. I'll bet the 'love' and 'romance' lasts exactly until a bigger, better f*cking monkey comes along.

Eh; I have no sympathy for anyone in the apartments except the single. The rest of you, take it as a hint to join the fun.

Apparently this is more of a mid-morning story now.

cerejaninja: Agile gibbons' calls can reach up to 100 decibels and are audible over distances of almost two miles.

Yeah, back in college I had to make sure if I was gettin' any, everybody knew.

I bought the CD.

So they have a Britney Spears exhibit at the zoo now?

Didn't John Cage already do this?

Monkey Hump String Symphony in GUA GUA GUAH!!!! minor (1967)

But they are not accused of pimping "funky monkey sex" .....I see no need to buy a ticket.

/funky monkey sex ...*the best*

Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

Ugh, that sucked

Pribar: I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

She's probably just trying to keep you from getting HIV from a gibbon.

/doubtless out of enlightened self-interest

Don't taunt the sex monkey.

I love the smell of monkey sex in the morning. Smells like.... Vict'ry.

Ah, the tender sounds of sweet, sweet, monkey sex.

And somewhere in heaven Kurt Vonnegut smiles down upon us.


"...and the humans behaved as though aliens were watching them at all times and the aliens were starved for entertainment."
-K.V.-

I don't blame the neighbors, because I imagine the monkey's noise sounds something like this.

"The monkeys, they don't-a 'do it'. They make-a love."

Every time I hear the phrase "hot sweaty butt nekkid monkey love" it reminds me of Gretchen from high school.

© Gretchen, call me

Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap...

Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

Monkey Love.

MatrixOutsider: Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

*cough*troll*cough*

Pribar: I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

thread started and ended here.

re-elect_jimmy_carter: Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

OH, HAHA, I GET IT. REPUBLICANS ARE NAZI KLAN MEMBERS. WHO TOLD YOU. idiot.

Queuebert:

re-elect_jimmy_carter: Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

OH, HAHA, I GET IT. REPUBLICANS ARE NAZI KLAN MEMBERS. WHO TOLD YOU. idiot.

actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

I get it, because Carter was a peanut farmer. That's hilarity made flesh right there.

Also, where is REJC wrong? You left that out of your comic masterpiece bugfu(k screed.

Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

.1/1m

Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.



maybe, maybe something else.

Marla Singer's Laundry: Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

I get it, because Carter was a peanut farmer. That's hilarity made flesh right there.

Also, where is REJC wrong? You left that out of your comic masterpiece bugfu(k screed.

didnt you know? nixon's gas price fixes that led to the gas lines of '79 were carter's fault. as were the economic problems.

signing of the algiers accords that led to those hostage releases....reagan did that by using time travel.

abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

So monkeys wake up with morning wood also...

I love the audio with no video. Leaves much more to the imagination...

MatrixOutsider: Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

Yeah that was pretty poor, and not even remotely funny or ironic.

Incest jokes are wrong.

Nothing like a little monkey spanking in the morning.

Tr0mBoNe: FTA: In a duet between a male and a female, the female's part is a long, rising series of notes that end in a fast "twitter". The male's song is less complicated. He grunts, squeals and whistles.

Proof of evolution.

Follow @monkeysex for live updates.

Damn. And NOW EVERYONE and their Liter cousins know where TotalFark is being put together everyday...

tarkus1980: "The monkeys, they don't-a 'do it'. They make-a love."

You bastard, you beat me to it!



(couldn't find any stills of him from The State)

SO LETS ALL GO TO DA ZOO AND-A WATCHA DA MONKIES MAKE AMORE!

/wtf is that going to come out on DVD anyhow? =(

Why is it not surprising that there are a bunch of jokes about black people in this thread?

It's pathetic. I don't know if there's any point in redacting them or not.

Thanks for your attention.

Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.




you find me one nazi or klan member who will be voting for obama and i will gladly eat my shoe.

Nice to know someone is getting some in the morning.

kingfish2004: Nice to know someone is getting some in the morning.

Hint: they don't get married.

re-elect_jimmy_carter: abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

Hey, you can't blame ABBA on Holland!

/Sweden and Norway avert their eyes and whistle nonchanlantly...

natedogtx: re-elect_jimmy_carter: abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

Hey, you can't blame ABBA on Holland!

/Sweden and Norway avert their eyes and whistle nonchanlantly...

holland, sweden, kajihkistan...what's the diff.

First thing I thought of when I listened to the recording.......Why do they call her Rover?

re-elect_jimmy_carter: nice caps, by the way.

It's cruise control for AWESOME!