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(Telegraph) Amusing Zoo doesn't understand why the people living next to them can't appreciate the sounds of early morning monkey sex. "It is a beautiful and melodic symphony."   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 86
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Pribar [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:24:15 PM  
I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:29:41 PM  
FTA: In a duet between a male and a female, the female's part is a long, rising series of notes that end in a fast "twitter". The male's song is less complicated. He grunts, squeals and whistles.

Proof of evolution.

 
steveo 2008-08-23 11:09:14 PM  
I was all prepared to comment on the out-of-control apartment laws in the UK but it turns out the article is about actual monkeys.

 
Av8rLuvr [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 11:27:45 PM  
They had the run of the outdoor area complete with playground equipment and trees to swing on, and were even allowed to roam the space at night.

Reminds me of five acres in the woods, a swing from the ceiling and no kids.

Those were the days.

 
cerejaninja 2008-08-23 11:33:28 PM  
Agile gibbons' calls can reach up to 100 decibels and are audible over distances of almost two miles.

I think that this deserves a mild holy crap. I don't think that I'd go as far as actually making a complaint to the zoo about this if I lived in the area, but I'd be cursing those monkeys every morning and secretly hoping that they get struck by a lightening.

 
pnjunction [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-24 12:30:31 AM  
Amorous gibbons...loving couple...romance...love duet...

Oh please, spare me the bullsh*t. They're f*cking, and they're yelling because it feels sooo damn good.

As well as singing to attract mates, family groups of gibbons will also do it to guard their territory. Their calls warn other gibbons to stay away from the fruit trees where they find their food.

Here's the evolutionary reason why it's awesome to yell when you're getting a really good f*ck on.

mostly monogamous

Heh. I'll bet the 'love' and 'romance' lasts exactly until a bigger, better f*cking monkey comes along.

 
abb3w [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 12:36:28 AM  
Eh; I have no sympathy for anyone in the apartments except the single. The rest of you, take it as a hint to join the fun.

 
liberalish 2008-08-24 02:43:05 AM  
Apparently this is more of a mid-morning story now.

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 06:47:18 AM  
cerejaninja: Agile gibbons' calls can reach up to 100 decibels and are audible over distances of almost two miles.

Yeah, back in college I had to make sure if I was gettin' any, everybody knew.

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 07:07:31 AM  
I bought the CD.

 
LaChanz [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 07:13:56 AM  
img1.picturewizard.com

 
HowAboutNo 2008-08-24 09:00:19 AM  
So they have a Britney Spears exhibit at the zoo now?

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:08:11 AM  
Didn't John Cage already do this?

Monkey Hump String Symphony in GUA GUA GUAH!!!! minor (1967)

 
yer_old_ friend_Gasher 2008-08-24 09:08:15 AM  
But they are not accused of pimping "funky monkey sex" .....I see no need to buy a ticket.

/funky monkey sex ...*the best*

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:08:54 AM  
Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

Ugh, that sucked

 
blazemongr 2008-08-24 09:10:05 AM  
Pribar: I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

She's probably just trying to keep you from getting HIV from a gibbon.

/doubtless out of enlightened self-interest

 
LessO2 2008-08-24 09:10:33 AM  
Don't taunt the sex monkey.

 
CaptainBeer 2008-08-24 09:11:17 AM  
I love the smell of monkey sex in the morning. Smells like.... Vict'ry.

 
peon36 2008-08-24 09:12:53 AM  
Ah, the tender sounds of sweet, sweet, monkey sex.

 
skippytheferret 2008-08-24 09:13:33 AM  
And somewhere in heaven Kurt Vonnegut smiles down upon us.


"...and the humans behaved as though aliens were watching them at all times and the aliens were starved for entertainment."
-K.V.-

 
skinink 2008-08-24 09:19:02 AM  
I don't blame the neighbors, because I imagine the monkey's noise sounds something like this.

 
tarkus1980 [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:19:31 AM  
"The monkeys, they don't-a 'do it'. They make-a love."

 
Rat [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:22:17 AM  
Every time I hear the phrase "hot sweaty butt nekkid monkey love" it reminds me of Gretchen from high school.

© Gretchen, call me

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-24 09:23:56 AM  
Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

www.supercollage.com

 
The_Pole_Of_Justice 2008-08-24 09:26:00 AM  
fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap, fap, fap, fling crap...

 
MatrixOutsider [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:26:02 AM  
Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

 
Farkin'round 2008-08-24 09:26:28 AM  
Monkey Love.

 
skippytheferret 2008-08-24 09:30:15 AM  
MatrixOutsider: Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

*cough*
troll*cough*

 
Queuebert 2008-08-24 09:32:14 AM  
Pribar: I always love early morning monkey sex, but the old lady is usually too cranky for it.

thread started and ended here.

re-elect_jimmy_carter: Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

OH, HAHA, I GET IT. REPUBLICANS ARE NAZI KLAN MEMBERS. WHO TOLD YOU. idiot.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-24 09:34:10 AM  
Queuebert:

re-elect_jimmy_carter: Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

OH, HAHA, I GET IT. REPUBLICANS ARE NAZI KLAN MEMBERS. WHO TOLD YOU. idiot.


actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

 
Queuebert 2008-08-24 09:37:07 AM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.


right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:40:30 AM  
Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?


I get it, because Carter was a peanut farmer. That's hilarity made flesh right there.

Also, where is REJC wrong? You left that out of your comic masterpiece bugfu(k screed.

 
Byno 2008-08-24 09:41:19 AM  
Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?


.1/1m

www.wortfilter.de

 
Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute 2008-08-24 09:44:30 AM  
Malbar: I'm pretty sure it's a Barack Obama exhibit.

i154.photobucket.com

maybe, maybe something else.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-24 09:44:56 AM  
Marla Singer's Laundry: Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.

/would you like a peanut?
//perhaps a sweater?

I get it, because Carter was a peanut farmer. That's hilarity made flesh right there.

Also, where is REJC wrong? You left that out of your comic masterpiece bugfu(k screed.


didnt you know? nixon's gas price fixes that led to the gas lines of '79 were carter's fault. as were the economic problems.

signing of the algiers accords that led to those hostage releases....reagan did that by using time travel.

abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

 
monoski 2008-08-24 09:45:39 AM  
So monkeys wake up with morning wood also...

 
SecretAgentWoman 2008-08-24 09:45:54 AM  
I love the audio with no video. Leaves much more to the imagination...

 
dragyne 2008-08-24 09:46:22 AM  
MatrixOutsider: Looks like the Williams sisters are at it again.

Yeah that was pretty poor, and not even remotely funny or ironic.

Incest jokes are wrong.

 
Cyborg77 2008-08-24 09:46:56 AM  
Nothing like a little monkey spanking in the morning.

 
serial_crusher [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:47:00 AM  
Tr0mBoNe: FTA: In a duet between a male and a female, the female's part is a long, rising series of notes that end in a fast "twitter". The male's song is less complicated. He grunts, squeals and whistles.

Proof of evolution.


Follow @monkeysex for live updates.

 
Lumoclear 2008-08-24 09:49:07 AM  
Damn. And NOW EVERYONE and their Liter cousins know where TotalFark is being put together everyday...

 
radarlove 2008-08-24 09:52:18 AM  
tarkus1980: "The monkeys, they don't-a 'do it'. They make-a love."

You bastard, you beat me to it!

www.buddytv.com

(couldn't find any stills of him from The State)

SO LETS ALL GO TO DA ZOO AND-A WATCHA DA MONKIES MAKE AMORE!

/wtf is that going to come out on DVD anyhow? =(

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2008-08-24 09:55:38 AM  
Why is it not surprising that there are a bunch of jokes about black people in this thread?

It's pathetic. I don't know if there's any point in redacting them or not.

Thanks for your attention.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-24 09:56:53 AM  
Queuebert: re-elect_jimmy_carter: actually, its the other way around....

nazis and klan members tend to be republicans.

nice caps, by the way.

right. judging strictly by your nick, your political acumen is unquestionable.




you find me one nazi or klan member who will be voting for obama and i will gladly eat my shoe.

 
kingfish2004 2008-08-24 09:57:54 AM  
Nice to know someone is getting some in the morning.

 
Lumoclear 2008-08-24 09:59:26 AM  
kingfish2004: Nice to know someone is getting some in the morning.

Hint: they don't get married.

 
natedogtx 2008-08-24 10:05:33 AM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

Hey, you can't blame ABBA on Holland!

/Sweden and Norway avert their eyes and whistle nonchanlantly...

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-24 10:11:05 AM  
natedogtx: re-elect_jimmy_carter: abba? you cant blame that on carter because it was holland's fault.

Hey, you can't blame ABBA on Holland!

/Sweden and Norway avert their eyes and whistle nonchanlantly...


holland, sweden, kajihkistan...what's the diff.

 
URMiztakin 2008-08-24 10:15:17 AM  
First thing I thought of when I listened to the recording.......Why do they call her Rover?

 
theorellior 2008-08-24 10:18:03 AM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: nice caps, by the way.

It's cruise control for AWESOME!

 
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