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(Abc.net.au) Dumbass North Korea: We have developed a new kind of noodle that delays feelings of hunger. Rest of World: Congratulations. We call that "eating"   (abc.net.au) divider line 102
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102 Comments   (+0 »)


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Jubeebee 2008-08-23 07:26:08 PM  
I wonder how coveted a food tester job is in N.Korea.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 07:37:30 PM  
Jubeebee: I wonder how coveted a food tester job is in N.Korea.

There are only so many ways to prepare dog, I bet it gets pretty boring.

/Be here all week. Try the.. uh, veal.

 
ozone [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 07:45:52 PM  
crap - I me'nt to hit +1 not -1 -nice headline
subby

 
TheCharmerUnderMe [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 08:35:00 PM  
+1

Got ya covered, ozone...

 
bugenhagen [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 08:36:10 PM  
Sounds like a joke Sam Kinison would have made.

Good one, subby!

 
bachdog 2008-08-23 09:59:59 PM  
Kim needs to be assassinated so the N Koreans can have a sammich

 
DeadBaby 2008-08-23 10:01:40 PM  
Haha

 
dervish16108 2008-08-23 10:02:18 PM  
A North Korean scientist must say hello when entering their own empty lab.

 
wildcardjack 2008-08-23 10:02:57 PM  
It represents a technological breakthrough as soybean has previously proved difficult to turn into noodles it lacks starch, Chosun Sinbo said.

Apart from the engrish, this is a pretty good turn. But what about just eating the soy in the first place?

/Still doesn't approve of the thanatocracy.

 
impaler [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:03:12 PM  
I'm so hungry

www.adslgr.com

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:03:56 PM  
Well, they'll still starve to death, but at least they'll FEEL absolutely stuffed.

 
ThunderPelvis 2008-08-23 10:04:04 PM  
Nice work, subby.

 
Johnny Mash 2008-08-23 10:06:09 PM  
It breaks the 'half and hour and I'm hungry again' barrier most defiantly! This Glorious noodle shows the inferior West the true might of our water-boiled comestibles!

/You wanna starve to death on deceitful noodles?
//Oh great.
///Kim has 15 bowls for breakfast

 
Dead_Pool_82 2008-08-23 10:08:09 PM  
...making the food by mixing soybean with corn, Chosun Sinbo, a pro-North Korean newspaper...

I read this as if it was made from old newspapers.

 
ha ha guy 2008-08-23 10:08:19 PM  
This is...just plain depressing. No snark today.

 
simpsonfan 2008-08-23 10:09:57 PM  
But can they grow enough soybeans?

What is the crop yield of soybeans per acre compared to to other crops?

Do they have proper climate, etc?

Sure, they can order their population to plant soybeans, but they can't order them to grow.

 
docweasel 2008-08-23 10:11:05 PM  
Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

 
fernanernie 2008-08-23 10:12:12 PM  
I have developed a grill that demands steak.

+1 subby

 
Fook 2008-08-23 10:12:26 PM  
This sounds suspiciously like the FOOD(tm) from Good Omens. I gotta say, when it comes to world leaders Kim must take the prize for the truly bizzare. Imagine what growing up in a country where everyone is taught from birth that your father is basically God, and the sun rises and sets on his command. Thats gotta screw you up something fierce.

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:12:48 PM  
They've solved the problem of turning soybeans into noodles, instead of turning something disgusting like tofu or tempeh? Nice headline, but good for them anyway. Maybe a similar process could produce a high-protein soybean bread.

"It was a recipe for grass soup, for a grass soup that doesn't give the diarrhea."

 
Rethorn 2008-08-23 10:12:59 PM  
docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

FTFProfile
Location: Tampa, FL

That explains everything.

 
Zexyness 2008-08-23 10:13:16 PM  
You have got to be farking kidding me. This is the best use of a euphemism I've seen in a while.

Guys! We're not starving our people, we're just feeding them noodles that delay their feeling of hunger! Brilliant!

 
Zexyness 2008-08-23 10:14:46 PM  
docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

Yeah, who cares about that whole Iraq thing.

 
Portugal. The Man 2008-08-23 10:15:07 PM  
Rethorn: docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

FTFProfile
Location: Tampa, FL

That explains everything.


I was just about to post the same thing. I thought he was being snarky, but he's from Florida, so it's just pure, unfiltered stupidity.

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:15:12 PM  
Something that will delay the feeling of hunger? Bah...been around for years. It's called meth. I suppose it could be baked into noodles though.

 
Zamboro [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:15:31 PM  
How long until they start abducting and processing political prisoners into soylent green? I'm not even joking. If it could happen anywhere, it'd be North Korea.

 
Kral 2008-08-23 10:16:36 PM  
Aren't soybean noodles kinda, well, common already?

 
OTA BENGA 2008-08-23 10:18:08 PM  
For those too lazy to read the article:

North Korea noodle to delay feeling of hunger: report

Posted August 23, 2008 23:00:00

North Korea, facing its worst food shortage in nearly a decade, has come up with a culinary innovation aimed at delaying the feeling of hunger - noodles made from crack cocaine, a report has said.

A research institute at the country's education ministry has succeeded in making the food by mixing cocaine with corn chips

Crack cocaine has never been consumed as a staple food outside of North America and it has been used only for side dishes while banging biatches, it said.

"When you consume ordinary noodles [made from wheat or prisoners], you may soon feel your stomach empty. But this crack noodle delays such a feeling of hunger," the paper said on its website.

In addition, the new noodle has almost five times more concentration-camp inmate byproduct than the normal noodles consumed by North Koreans, it said.

Politicians, playaz, and Wall Street traders have been visiting the research institute to learn about the noodle, it added.

A recent survey found up to half the people in North Korea were having to forage for foods and some were resorting to eating KFC.

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:18:12 PM  
docweasel: which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

I wasn't aware it was possible to be this stupid.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-08-23 10:18:56 PM  
A recent survey found up to half the people in North Korea were having to forage for foods and some were resorting to eating edible grasses and roots.

Yo, Kim. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, dude.

 
Solarnexus 2008-08-23 10:19:15 PM  
but what happens when you lace it with laxatives?

would that create a vaccume???

now I know how ZPM's work. its all about the noodles, durrr.

 
Zamboro [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:19:42 PM  
YouPeopleAreCrazy: "Yo, Kim. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, dude."

It's called "Communism".

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2008-08-23 10:21:55 PM  
Zamboro: It's called "Communism".

That's what they kind of call it, but that's not what it is.

/not that actual communism actually works...

 
Fook 2008-08-23 10:23:38 PM  
docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

What could possibly make you think that short of extremely wishful thinking? You want to know when its likely N.Korea is goona implode you watch the N.Korean/Chinese border.

 
OTA BENGA 2008-08-23 10:25:15 PM  
docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

Will Jesus return too?

 
Zexyness 2008-08-23 10:26:32 PM  
Zamboro: YouPeopleAreCrazy: "Yo, Kim. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, dude."

It's called "Communism".


More like Socialist Authoritarianism. But hey, if it quacks like a duck...

 
onomatopoetic 2008-08-23 10:27:21 PM  
Western concepts such as nutrition and satiety are no match for Juche!

img355.imageshack.us

 
Zexyness 2008-08-23 10:27:35 PM  
OTA BENGA: docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

Will Jesus return too?


I hope so. Maybe he'll make beards and long hair fashionable for men again.

 
Halfmast Trousers [TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:30:00 PM  
If only we imperialist dogs could develop a food that "delayed hunger."

 
portscanner 2008-08-23 10:31:41 PM  
Let me see now.North Korea's leaders, like Cuba's continue to strive to feed their citizens while the warmongering US puts a stranglehold and blockade around anything going into those countries. When the come up with an idea to feed them, you farkers laugh at them.

Who is the axis of evil here?

 
Zexyness 2008-08-23 10:37:33 PM  
portscanner: Let me see now.North Korea's leaders, like Cuba's continue to strive to feed their citizens while the warmongering US puts a stranglehold and blockade around anything going into those countries. When the come up with an idea to feed them, you farkers laugh at them.

Who is the axis of evil here?


img244.imageshack.us

Nice one

 
Moonk 2008-08-23 10:38:18 PM  
Zexyness: Zamboro: YouPeopleAreCrazy: "Yo, Kim. Whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong, dude."

It's called "Communism".

More like Socialist Authoritarianism. But hey, if it quacks like a duck...


It still might be a goose?

/i keed
//just read "Brave New World"
///actually wouldnt mind some of the "advancements"
////guess that just means im a self centered authoritarian assmunch.

 
humanshrapnel 2008-08-23 10:38:36 PM  
portscanner: Let me see now.North Korea's leaders, like Cuba's continue to strive to feed their citizens while the warmongering US puts a stranglehold and blockade around anything going into those countries. When the come up with an idea to feed them, you farkers laugh at them.

Who is the axis of evil here?


Ask this guy (ventana nueva):
i75.photobucket.com

 
Zamboro [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:38:49 PM  
Zexyness: "More like Socialist Authoritarianism. But hey, if it quacks like a duck..."

Of course the two differ in theory, it's just that the one is the demonstration model and the other is the one they actually want to sell you. Dyed in the wool communists will argue until they're red in the face (lol) that genuine communism would work, and my response is always "That may well be, but the transition leaves you wide open to strongmen establishing authoritarian rule." There will always be someone ready and willing to take up that mantle; When the implementation of your "brilliant on paper" idea entails taking the power from a small number of oligarchs and putting it into the hands of an even smaller number of government officials, you can't reasonably be surprised when you wind up in a gulag five years later.

 
Mugs_PurpleScareblog 2008-08-23 10:39:33 PM  
docweasel: Hard to believe but entirely possible both N.Korea and Cuban tyrannies may fall before GWB leaves office. That would be a nice event to cap his presidency, which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.


So, he's got, what, ten weeks left to find bin Laden, bury Castro, and knock out Kim if he wants to hand over the reins to McCain?

Even the best C student can't cram that much before finals.

Back to your cave, troll.

 
Time Traveler 2008-08-23 10:42:29 PM  
i259.photobucket.com

 
etv_2k 2008-08-23 10:45:40 PM  
So what is wrong with eating edible grasses and roots?
There was a time when natural gas was just burned off from oil wells.
It seems waste will always be around because of the stupidity of some people.

 
Retarded Rabid Elk 2008-08-23 10:51:26 PM  
bachdog: Kim needs to be assassinated so the N Koreans can have a sammich

Kim needs to stay in power as long as possible, so does Communist Cuba, and hopefully Venezuela goes full commie. Already in your typical university history they say that the Soviet Union and China were dreamy worker's paradises, and have completly forgotten Stalin's purges, Mao's Cultural Revolution and Great Leap Forward, Pol Pot, etc., and your typical college kid isn't old enough to know any better... we need to keep a few Communist dictators around to starve, murder, and brutalize their people to act as a warning.

While the people in those countries will suffer horribly, their sacrifice will help keep the memory of the horrors of Communism alive for the rest of the world.

 
Zamboro [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-23 10:55:19 PM  
Retarded Rabid Elk: "While the people in those countries will suffer horribly, their sacrifice will help keep the memory of the horrors of Communism alive for the rest of the world."

This, although your impression of what is taught in "dem dang librul colleges" is pretty far off from reality.

 
Retarded Rabid Elk 2008-08-23 10:55:40 PM  
GAT_00: docweasel: which I believe is the most successful and substantive in 100 years, foreign policy-wise.

I wasn't aware it was possible to be this stupid.


It isn't. It is called a 'troll'. It is a concept where people post outlandish, insulting, or controversial statements in order to get a reaction. It is one of these new-fangled inter-tube concepts the kids are playing around with, these days.

 
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