Unicorn farts are a known contributor to climate change and ozone depletion.

Moonbeams cause colo-rectal cancer in the 8 spotted shrew, which is close to extinction....


BZZZZZZZTTTT


Try again.

I foresee a PETA press release, announcing that their agents have successfully infiltrated a power generation facility, and have videos depicting the cruel and inhumane conditions imposed by the Big Unicorn Fart cartel on their captive herds.

In equally stunning news, there are virgin maidens in the ranks of PETA.

_{/yes, "virgin maiden" is a redundant tautology}

I hope whoever came up with the phrase "big wind" is getting a good swift cockpunch on a daily basis for having thought up such stupidity.

Yancey and some of his brothers begged Ed Yancey to leave the family land untouched. But the elder Yancey pointed to the money - a minimum of $6,600 a year for every turbine. This is your legacy, he told them.

So, how bad is the sound?

If I had a big enough plot of land, I'd let them put one up for around 10k a year.

Soon to come: Big Solar comes under attack for the genocide of the grass under the solar panels.

dletter: If I had a big enough plot of land, I'd let them put one up for around 10k a year.

I'd let them put up 10. Heck... 20!

Ye Gods, what a farking whiner.

I do a lot of rural traveling in my work, and I find the sight and sound of wind farms FAR less offensive than the sight and shiat smell of the typical cow or pig feedlot.

Typical farm machinery isn't exactly silent, either.

According to TFA he even HELPED BUILD AND INSTALL the things.

That entire article lost most of it's credibility with this one quote:

"like a giant praying mantis peering at my home."

I find the view of farmland more offensive than windmills. Acres of cropland as far as you can see in every direction is just as industrial as any city, in my opinion.

I_Hate_Iowa: I find the view of farmland more offensive than windmills. Acres of cropland as far as you can see in every direction is just as industrial as any city, in my opinion.

You have a good point... farmland ***IS*** industry... nothing "nature"/"natural" about it...

People just want their TV, AC's, Lights, etc to be "magically" powered. They all want the 65in Big Screens, and the 68deg homes but no one is willing to do what is required to generate that power, at least "not in my back yard"

Just like Gasoline Refinement, Trash Removal, Water/Sewer Treatment, everyone wants these things, but "not in my back yard"

If the city would let me, I would assemble a Windmill in my back yard today.

The_Ancient: Just like Gasoline Refinement, Trash Removal, Water/Sewer Treatment, everyone wants these things, but "not in my back yard"

Other than the gas refining, all that stuff is already in my yard.

Free Fertilizer FTW!

Alternate headline:

John Yancey, of Lowville, NY, is a whiny douchebag who's pissed off that his plans for his inheritance were spoiled

Why did this dumbass do to deserve his own AP story?

Having grown up near there, I've known too many of these redneck farks. fark 'em. We need electricity, and those windmills have been GREAT for the region and our electricity bills. John Yancey can go suck eggs.

/bought t-shirt a few weeks ago
/haven't had the balls to wear it to gym yet

Sounds like to me Mr Yancey should sit back, smoke a joint and wait for the WHAAAAMBULANCE to arrive. I've heard sometimes it can take days, even weeks to GET OVER IT.

Damn whiny New Yorkers always biatching about change.

i heard that if you rub a unicorns horn long enough, some magical white fluid will come out. maybe that will help us with our energy problems.

Nuclear power. Breeder reactor. Build them now.

So the guy is mad that the windmills are keeping him up at night (even though he's getting paid thousands of dollars a year to keep them propped up)?

Heck, I'd sleep with a pair of headphones on or something if it means somebody would pay me a few grand a year.

Good luck getting Dick Cheney to let anyone tap the awesome power of his magic unicorn.

Quantum Apostrophe: Nuclear power. Breeder reactor. Build them now.

This. So farking this it's not even funny. And they can put the used, exposed rods on Yancey's land for all I care.

FTFA: He hates the sight and he hates the sound. He says they disrupt his sleep, invade his house, his consciousness. He can't stand the gigantic flickering shadows the blades cast at certain points in the day.

I can't hear you Mr. Yancey over that loud, droning whining sound.
Seriously, leave Mr. Yancey alone. He's a precious little snowflake.

Wow. John Yancey is a farking douche bag.

Waaaaah...things are changing...change is scary and confusing.

/waaah.

Ftom TFA:

"We want clean energy as much as anyone," says Leviker, who rejected a $1,500 payment from the wind company for the disruption of her view. "But we also want quality of life somebody else to be inconvenienced for it."

FTThem.

That sound you heard was me facepalming my nose into next Friday.

Oh for fark's sake. Man up, Yancey.

HELEN O'NEILL: Lets get the nearest lunatic and interview him to generate controversy. Idiotmitter: Lets take this lunatics opinion and misrepresent it so profoundly that I'll get a greenlight. Fark: Perfect story for page clicks of pissed off farkers!

So pathetic.

aevert: I hope whoever came up with the phrase "big wind" is getting a good swift cockpunch on a daily basis for having thought up such stupidity.

How dare you mock my world record dutch oven attempt this morning!

Lighten up, Yancis.

My dad currently works at Vermont Yankee Power Plant, a boiler nuke plant in Vermont.

He says that the "hippies" are protesting it on a fairly regular basis, which I don't get at all.

1) Option One: They succeed in getting the plant shut down.

Well, congratulations on acquiring the world's biggest paperweight. Nuke plants can't be taken apart or removed. It's going to be there, so why not let the damn thing run (it's got a good record anyways). And you just took a huge section out of the grid too, you nancies, do you WANT rolling brownouts like CA?

2) Option Two: The plant ignores them and keeps running, as it CAN'T be shut down really (due to the grid).

The hippies keep protesting the plant and wondering where they've gone wrong, though they haven't suggested any alternatives.

Seriously, how do you replace that on the crowded east coast? Solar is a no go out there (space, weather, fog, the panels turn to arsenic...), wind is totally unreliable and an eyesore (NIMBY), same with coal (total NIMBY).

So... what are they suggesting, exactly?

/totally confused
//all power generation is an evil, ok, there's just some that are way lesser
///very pro nuke power
//occasional radworker returning to college for Radiation Protection

Majin_Buu: Damn whiny New Yorkers always biatching about change.

I wouldn't consider someone who lives on a farm in someplace called Lowville, NY a "New Yorker." That's farking Canada up there.

I'm wondering, would these people prefer a coal-fired powerplant in their backyards? Which would have a larger impact in their lives, as far as noise, weird smells, destruction of beautiful views, and sleep disturbances are concerned?

I have a feeling that domestic cats take out more birds than windmills. Isn't that part of the beef--killing birds?

And I think they're kind of pretty--futuristic. A damn sight better-looking than a power plant.

FTFA: This particular weekend is a busy one for Yancey's inn, which is hosting a huge watercross event - in which snowmobiles roar across the pond, their speed keeping them from sinking. Campers roll in to watch. There are campfires and barbecues and squealing children darting about. The atmosphere is festive and carefree and very noisy as racers' engines scream and a helicopter whirs overhead giving 10-minute joyrides for $25.

Oh, hilarious. I don't think the reporter was taking a jab at anyone by sneaking in that paragraph. squealing-- scream--very noisy--snowmobiles roar--helicopters

Nope, the reporter wasn't making any point at all. *smirk*

Damn, we were so close to a real life 'old man yells at cloud' picture.


WTF is this guy's problem?

Phil Moskowitz: HELEN O'NEILL: Lets get the nearest lunatic and interview him to generate controversy. Idiotmitter: Lets take this lunatics opinion and misrepresent it so profoundly that I'll get a greenlight. Fark: Perfect story for page clicks of pissed off farkers!

It's like every HuffPo or Kos green...

:( I shed a small tear for your sensitive emotions little Yancy.

If you wish, I'll take one of those wind turbines off your hands and into my backyard.
$6800 a year would pay all my utilities and my car payments.
Call me.

In the next century, windmill farms will be regarded as visually appealing and even charming, just as old Dutch windmills are today. People will have no idea that there was such opposition to them when they were first introduced. Cranky coots just don't like change.

cryinoutloud: Oh, hilarious. I don't think the reporter was taking a jab at anyone by sneaking in that paragraph. squealing-- scream--very noisy--snowmobiles roar--helicopters

Nope, the reporter wasn't making any point at all. *smirk*

It's different! There's whooshing noises! Flickery lights! And electric power lines! It's the work of the devil!

Meh, damned if you do- damned if you don't.
Screw Yancy.

Hi:

Most people don't know this, but unicorns fart glitter.

R.

Why do I get the feeling that alot of these locals who are sooooo concerned about the environmental impact of these turbines would probably give less than two shiats if a local developer wanted to clear cut 100 acres of old growth forest for a shopping mall? I could be wrong, but.....

His wife should definitely leave him. That'll give him something else to cry about.

What a douche. The guy talks about "respecting the land" and has snowmobilers all over his land, and even running across the friggin lake.

"People came for the serenity" he shouted over the sound of a dozen screaming engines.

More wind, more nuclear, switch to diesel bio-fuels.

Doctor Funkenstein: Damn, we were so close to a real life 'old man yells at cloud' picture.


WTF is this guy's problem?

Dagnubbit, my own pappy let these things in 'heya... all for a measly $47k/yr. And what's that good fur? College? What use is college if yer away from yer farm then ya come back with a degree in business or engineering or french or whatever, well, what good's that gonna do ya here on yur dairy farm? A farm now all fulla windmills?

/knows the power of unicorn farts

We already tried moonbeams and unicorn farts here in California, during the Jerry Brown Administration.

Turned out it was a bad idea all around, as containment became impossible. The moonbeams leaked out of the converter boxes and caused a mild insanity, resulting in our current political/social situation.

And, much to the surprise of the environmental engineers in charge, unicorn farts can melt the paint off a freight train. I swear, it's what God put in the Ark.

Oznog: A farm now all fulla windmills?

A favorite quote of mine:

"It's the best cash cow we ever had," booms retired dairy farmer Bill Burke, who has six turbines on his land. "This cow doesn't need to be fed, doesn't need a vet, doesn't need a place to lie down."

I think we've got the missing link in the equation:

1. Get farm
2. Get wind turbine
3. Profit!!!!!

Fark Headline:
Wind Power Bad

The Actual Article:
This one guy doesn't like wind turbines.