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(ABC News) Florida Governor to Florida Keys visitors and residents: EVERYBODY PANIC   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 132
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JesusIsNowBlind 2008-08-17 08:13:26 AM  
It's Flori-duh... shouldn't that be "EVERYONE HISPANIC"?

/only I divvun knaa hae tae dae the upside down question mark thingie

 
CAADbury 2008-08-17 08:14:58 AM  
Is that a smart car he's filled with gas cans?

 
bubbaprog [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-17 08:17:49 AM  
No need to fear, Michael Phelps will just swim the hurricane away.

 
wyltoknow [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 08:20:48 AM  
I farking hate this. All morning the news has been like "OMG HURRICANE BUY SUPPLIES BOARD UP YOUR WINDOWS INDUCE MASS HYSTERIA!" It's a storm, stfu. Looks like I won't be able to get my grocery shopping done til Tuesday.

 
Sifeus 2008-08-17 08:21:40 AM  
JesusIsNowBlind: It's Flori-duh... shouldn't that be "EVERYONE HISPANIC"?

/only I divvun knaa hae tae dae the upside down question mark thingie


Que¿

 
zippolight2002 2008-08-17 08:22:50 AM  
wyltoknow: I farking hate this. All morning the news has been like "OMG HURRICANE BUY SUPPLIES BOARD UP YOUR WINDOWS INDUCE MASS HYSTERIA!" It's a storm, stfu. Looks like I won't be able to get my grocery shopping done til Tuesday.

Its seemed to have slowed down..... the other day they were saying it was going to hit orlando on Monday. Now its saying its going to hit Orlando Tues evening. Make up your mind.

 
woodstock [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 08:30:05 AM  
Let's rephrase this for the manner for which it was intended:

"Ok there is a hurricane that may or may not be coming. Now, it probably will not be much at all. But in any case, we do need to send out this warning to you all. So that way if you domething stupid you cannot sue us. Thanks."

 
olddinosaur 2008-08-17 08:30:18 AM  
Here's a good link to track the storm:

Link (new window) (Pops)

Hurricanes are nothing to take lightly, I am at 27.5 N by 97.5 W ands I am watching that bastard like a hawk. It has 950 miles of ocean to cross, and could easily turn into a monster.

 
schattenteufel [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 08:33:25 AM  
why don't y'all git yer guns & shoot at the storm?

 
TechieSidhe 2008-08-17 08:33:42 AM  
JesusIsNowBlind: It's Flori-duh... shouldn't that be "EVERYONE HISPANIC"?

/only I divvun knaa hae tae dae the upside down question mark thingie

There's still a few non-hispanic people here. I'll vouch for at least 10 of us around the area. And we're double endangered, we're mostly native Floridians!

 
roncofooddehydrator 2008-08-17 08:33:57 AM  
Did anyone notice the slideshow section to the right that says "Model Cougar Claws Hockey Star"? When you click on it it goes to a series of pictures titled "Cougars Catch Younger Men In Their Paws". I find it hilarious that ABC News has this on their website.

img172.imageshack.us

The whole slideshow is pretty lame though, surely farkers have better cougars they could post...

 
Third Day Mark 2008-08-17 08:34:13 AM  
Pffffft. 45 mph sustained winds. Right. Call me when it directly tracks over crystal river. Then i'll... wait. I'm sorry, what? Right over Crystal River you say. Huh.

/Just gonna be a big thunderstorm when it rolls my way
//If it was a cat 3 or higher, i'd stock up.

 
windsor114 2008-08-17 08:35:11 AM  
marksteudel.files.wordpress.com

/Edward G heard about the weather but doesn't care..
//Bogey just wanted to tell his war stories..

 
Keys dude 2008-08-17 08:36:09 AM  
I live in the Keys. I've stocked up on beer. I'm ready for whatever hits....

Seriously, down here, we know how to weather a hurricane. On the mainland, they're amateurs and panic. Here, we prepare and help each other once it passes. On the mainland, they have no clue.

 
LeviathanFafner 2008-08-17 08:47:22 AM  
Keys dude: I live in the Keys. I've stocked up on beer. I'm ready for whatever hits....

Seriously, down here, we know how to weather a hurricane. On the mainland, they're amateurs and panic. Here, we prepare and help each other once it passes. On the mainland, they have no clue.


Farking aye! Long live the Conch Republic!
/conch

 
Neurochemist 2008-08-17 08:48:04 AM  
Welp -- As a Floridian -- The rest of you guys keep your finger crossed...

A few degrees to the left, this biatch hugs the side of Florida in shallow, hot water and will end up a Category 5 before it plows into Crystal River drowning the Forgotten Coast.

If it hits the armpit of Florida just right, the water will have no where to go and be pinned against land .... and it will be the biggest flooding event in American history.

 
cartersdad 2008-08-17 08:52:59 AM  
Keys dude: I live in the Keys. I've stocked up on beer. I'm ready for whatever hits....

Seriously, down here, we know how to weather a hurricane. On the mainland, they're amateurs and panic. Here, we prepare and help each other once it passes. On the mainland, they have no clue.


Live in Tampa...this should be fun. It becomes margarita time in my neighborhood. When Grace or frances came by about eight of us went door to door with pitchers. It was fun staggering through the neighborhood trashed and spreading cheer.

 
SpeshilEdjukashin [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 08:58:41 AM  
Neurochemist: Welp -- As a Floridian -- The rest of you guys keep your finger crossed...

A few degrees to the left, this biatch hugs the side of Florida in shallow, hot water and will end up a Category 5 before it plows into Crystal River drowning the Forgotten Coast.

If it hits the armpit of Florida just right, the water will have no where to go and be pinned against land .... and it will be the biggest flooding event in American history.


Chill out, it's just a tropical storm not a CAT 5 H4X0R. (nsfw)

 
bahknee 2008-08-17 09:03:09 AM  
"We're not really worried," Celestina said as he ordered a drink. "Whatever happens, happens. If we get evacuated, that will definitely put a damper on our plans, but until we have to, we're not moving."


I'm sure Katrina victims would have a few things to say about this... although Fay doesn't look like it's going to do more than dump rain.

 
Stealthy Ninja Polar Bear 2008-08-17 09:03:59 AM  
Ya know I always wondered why the Keys doesn't build all their houses out of cement like the Jamaicans. It takes like, 2 years for them to build houses, but at least the building is always there after being hit by 10 hurricanes a year.

meh, anything below a cat3 is just an excuse to stay at home and drink.

 
Gobobo 2008-08-17 09:04:53 AM  
If they stopped giving these storms nice names then people might take them more seriously. Instead of 'Fay' why not 'Hatchet Harry' or 'Kevin the Killer'?

 
Cerie [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:06:17 AM  
I live in Palm Beach County and went grocery shopping yesterday.
There was some panic going on with some people.
Normally those people are new here and have never been through a storm and their frightened

We spit harder then this storm.

 
Treetop1000 2008-08-17 09:13:05 AM  
Gobobo: If they stopped giving these storms nice names then people might take them more seriously. Instead of 'Fay' why not 'Hatchet Harry' or 'Kevin the Killer'?

Yeah, I LIKE that idea.
"Insane Clown Hurricane Blood Red.
"DeathStorm Cheney"
"The storm formerly known as the TSA".
"Hurricane Condoleeza "scares me the most...

 
jbrooks544 2008-08-17 09:13:27 AM  
Right now, it isn't forecast to exceed 60kts. It sounds like the tracking models are all over the map though. Official discussion below.

THE CENTER OF FAY IS TOO CLOSE TO THE COAST OF CUBA TO BE ACCESSIBLE
TO THE AIR FORCE HURRICANE HUNTER AIRCRAFT...SO THERE ARE NO DIRECT
MEASUREMENTS OF CENTRAL PRESSURE OR PRECISE POSITIONING OF THE
SURFACE CENTER. HOWEVER...CUBAN RADAR IMAGERY AND THE AVAILABLE
RECONNAISSANCE DATA INDICATE THAT FAY IS BEGINNING ITS TURN TO THE
RIGHT...WITH AN INITIAL MOTION OF 285/11. THERE HAS BEEN LITTLE
CHANGE TO THE FORECAST PHILOSOPHY...ALTHOUGH THE CONFIDENCE HAS
DECREASED DUE TO A SPREADING OF THE GUIDANCE ENVELOPE.
GLOBAL MODELS HAVE VERY DIFFERENT EVOLUTIONS OF THE STEERING FLOW
OVER THE NEXT TWO TO THREE DAYS...WITH THE ECMWF SHOWING A WEAKER
SUBTROPICAL RIDGE AND AN MID-LATITUDE SHORT WAVE DIPPING INTO THE
NORTHERN GULF...WHICH TURNS FAY NORTHEASTWARD OVER SOUTH FLORIDA
BEFORE STALLING IT IN THE WESTERN ATLANTIC. THE GFDL AND HWRF ALSO
SHOW A PATH ACROSS THE FLORIDA PENINSULA TO THE RIGHT OF THE
OFFICIAL FORECAST. MOST OF THE REMAINING GUIDANCE...INCLUDING THE
GFS AND UKMET...TURN FAY NORTHWARD IN THE SOUTHEASTERN GULF OF
MEXICO TO THE EAST OF A MID- TO UPPER-LEVEL CUTOFF LOW FORECAST TO
BE OVER THE SOUTHERN PLAINS. THE OFFICIAL FORECAST FOLLOWS THIS
LATTER SCENARIO AND IS VERY CLOSE TO THE PREVIOUS ADVISORY TRACK.

RADAR AND SATELLITE DATA INDICATE THAT THE ORGANIZATION OF THE INNER
CORE IS IMPROVING...ALTHOUGH RECONNAISSANCE DROPSONDES NEAR THE
CENTER SUGGEST THAT THE PRESSURE HAS NOT YET CHANGED MUCH. THE
UPPER-LEVEL WINDS ARE STILL VERY FAVORABLE AND FAY COULD BE NEAR
HURRICANE STRENGTH WHEN IT REACHES CENTRAL CUBA. IN THE
SOUTHEASTERN GULF...THESE WINDS ARE NOT EXPECTED TO BE AS CONDUCIVE
FOR STRENGTHENING...BUT MOST OF THE OBJECTIVE GUIDANCE HAS FAY NEAR
OR JUST ABOVE HURRICANE STRENGTH NEAR THE TIME OF LANDFALL. FAY IS
EXPECTED TO REACH HURRICANE STRENGTH IN THE SOUTHEASTERN
GULF...EVEN THOUGH THE TIMING OF THE FORECAST POINTS BELOW DO NOT
EXPLICITLY SHOW IT.


FORECAST POSITIONS AND MAX WINDS

INITIAL 17/0900Z 19.7N 77.3W 45 KT
12HR VT 17/1800Z 20.7N 78.9W 50 KT
24HR VT 18/0600Z 22.2N 80.6W 55 KT...INLAND
36HR VT 18/1800Z 23.7N 81.6W 50 KT
48HR VT 19/0600Z 25.4N 82.1W 60 KT
72HR VT 20/0600Z 29.0N 82.5W 50 KT...INLAND
96HR VT 21/0600Z 32.0N 82.5W 35 KT...INLAND
120HR VT 22/0600Z 35.5N 82.5W 20 KT...REMNANT LOW

 
grapefruitgal [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:14:10 AM  
School starts tomorrow. Guess I'd better get that hurricane unit together quickly. By the time it gets up to us it'll be a rainstorm, but the kiddos love to watch the progression. Unless Neurochemist is right and we're mopping up like in '04.

 
Help-Im-Sober 2008-08-17 09:14:13 AM  
Here in the northeast our major problem is snow storms. It is quite comical going into a Walmart, a Shopping mall or anything of that type right after a major storm has been predicted. You will see people buying up virtually anything with a "Coleman" logo on it. Lanterns I can understand, canoes not so much.

on the bright side, during the summer if you go to the right yard sale, you can find camping gear for sale cheap.

 
portscanner 2008-08-17 09:14:31 AM  
Bush will send engineers down there, blow up the levies and force everyone into camps like he did in New Orleans. Just watch!

 
Marley 2008-08-17 09:22:41 AM  
zippolight2002: Its seemed to have slowed down..... the other day they were saying it was going to hit orlando on Monday. Now its saying its going to hit Orlando Tues evening. Make up your mind.

They're talking about it hitting here in the western 'glades on Tuesday morning, so good luck seeing it on Tuesday. And my hurricane warning "product" says:

THE PROBABILITY FOR EXPERIENCING HURRICANE CONDITIONS IS AROUND 5%.

Hold me, I'm scared.

Keys dude: Seriously, down here, we know how to weather a hurricane. On the mainland, they're amateurs and panic. Here, we prepare and help each other once it passes. On the mainland, they have no clue.

I was on the east coast for Francis and Jeanne, and we lost power for more than a week after both. A few days after Jeanne, I mentioned to a group of my neighbors that I had called someone, and they wanted to know how I did that. All the phones were out!

Well, the phones were working, but those idiots all had cordless phones and no power in their houses. I picked up my regular corded kitchen phone and made calls no problem.

 
demanton [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:25:52 AM  
windsor114: /Edward G heard about the weather but doesn't care..
//Bogey just wanted to tell his war stories..


/// and for months after they found bodies in the mangrove swamps...

 
autonoe 2008-08-17 09:29:18 AM  
Can't get excited, although I'd be pleased if the winds are high enough to knock all of the dead and weak junk out of our trees. It's been a few years since we had a good brush here in Tampa Bay. It can make a bit of a mess at those wind speeds, but it's the cheapest and most efficient treescaping available.

 
canwolfshadow 2008-08-17 09:32:07 AM  
Wheres Faethe/Lexslamman and the rest of FARKs hurricane squad?

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:35:56 AM  
I don't know about the hurricane but if you value your anal virginity, you should definitely panic if you're visiting the keys.

 
Four Horsemen of the Domestic Dispute 2008-08-17 09:43:20 AM  
i48.photobucket.com

 
Understudy 2008-08-17 09:43:36 AM  
As someone who lives in SoFla, this is no big deal.

I don't even think this will warrant much of a shutdown. I mean school starts for most of these kids on Monday.

 
realjd [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:44:07 AM  
Stealthy Ninja Polar Bear: Ya know I always wondered why the Keys doesn't build all their houses out of cement like the Jamaicans. It takes like, 2 years for them to build houses, but at least the building is always there after being hit by 10 hurricanes a year.

Here in Florida, almost every house is concrete block. Does that count?

 
Tweeeks 2008-08-17 09:45:38 AM  
I am a pool guy in Key West who just bought a house!!..... so I am running around getting beer beer & beer.

We get spanked with a hurricane pretty much every year so we just use it for another excuse to have a PARTY. I mean, we throw a party just for the sun going down every night!!

B2

 
vicejay [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 09:53:07 AM  
portscanner: Bush will send engineers down there, blow up the levies and force everyone into camps like he did in New Orleans. Just watch!

Worse yet.. maybe the feds will send the Army Corps of Engineers to build sub-standard levees that will fail in the face of sideswipe by a Cat-3 storm.

 
Keys dude 2008-08-17 09:53:20 AM  
I am a pool guy in Key West who just bought a house!!..... so I am running around getting beer beer & beer.>>>

I already said: I've stocked up on beer, so I have it covered. Take a ride up to the Middle Keys, make a left at the cooler, bayside. Can't miss it.

 
Crunchy Frog 2008-08-17 09:54:32 AM  
Well, I'm prepared. I picked up 4 cases of Sam Adams Oktoberfest and a carton of Marlboro's yesterday.

/Whorelando

 
Llois [TotalFark] 2008-08-17 10:04:06 AM  
Years and years ago, when Hurricane Andrew was all set to annihilate the Keys, my mom was all upset because my grandma refused to evacuate. Grandma said "It's OK, I'm going over to Gloria's... there'll be a MAN there!" Mom said "Last time I checked, a penis couldn't ward off a hurricane!"

Grandma was OK, apparently the penis thing worked!!

 
Ra_ 2008-08-17 10:14:06 AM  
Hurricane Wilma wasn't a big storm. It didn't directly hit the Keys.
It still managed to have a storm surge effect that caused the water to rise to a few feet deep in thousands of people's homes,
within a matter of minutes.

For weeks afterwards, the streets were lined with refrigerators, couches, televisions, beds, etc.

surfpick.com

surfpick.com

surfpick.com

 
accujimmy 2008-08-17 10:16:52 AM  
Are you kidding me? Where the hell am I supposed to go to be flamboyantly queer now?

/ne'er got to see Sloppy Joe's

 
Ex_Parrot 2008-08-17 10:25:27 AM  
Sitting here in Tallahassee with enough canned goods to get through a nuclear winter... but, only because Albertsons down the street was going out of business.

Seriously though, good luck down south!

/Here's to hoping it's not a direct Tampa landfall.
//I also don't want it to stay over water and come up here so I'm kinda torn.
///schnauzers

 
libbynomore2 2008-08-17 10:28:25 AM  
wyltoknow 2008-08-17 08:20:48 AM
I farking hate this. All morning the news has been like "OMG HURRICANE BUY SUPPLIES BOARD UP YOUR WINDOWS INDUCE MASS HYSTERIA!" It's a storm, stfu. Looks like I won't be able to get my grocery shopping done til Tuesday.



brilliant analysis. Interestingly, Louisiana Gov. Blanco and New Orleans Mayor Nagin totally support you on this. They blew off the seriousness of Katrina.... How did that work out?


Speaking of which subby, dumb headline. Obviously the Gov. of Florida is not as useless and inept as the former Gov of Louisiana. It's hard to believe that after Katrina and Rita you would criticize a proactive response as opposed to doing nothing and then pissing and moaning about everyone else after your own failures.

 
libbynomore2 2008-08-17 10:32:21 AM  
portscanner: Bush will send engineers down there, blow up the levies and force everyone into camps like he did in New Orleans. Just watch!


It's more fun watching you flounder around like fool in your tin foil hat.

What an idiot.

 
irishanime 2008-08-17 10:39:23 AM  
Scrambles the Death Dealer?

 
baercat 2008-08-17 10:40:27 AM  
accujimmy: Are you kidding me? Where the hell am I supposed to go to be flamboyantly queer now?

/ne'er got to see Sloppy Joe's


San Francisco

 
Keys dude 2008-08-17 10:40:33 AM  
Good photos, Ra. Is that south or north Roosevelt Boulevard in the first two? Of course, the third is Keys Fisheries, best damn restaurant we have. For folks who don't know, the ordering counter is about 8 feet high and just behind the palm tree on the left.

 
runwhiteyrun06 2008-08-17 10:42:36 AM  
This seems oddly fitting as I just finished Carl Hiaasen's "Stormy Weather."

/It was great.

 
gbiewer 2008-08-17 10:50:09 AM  
Live just north of Clearwater, finished prepping the yard for a storm. You know, pick up the junk, toss the plastic chairs in the pool, move the bar inside (don't want the liquor to blow over) - next I have to brave the grocery store.

*shudders*

No one panics like a bunch of 80 year old floridians. Between that and school starting tomorrow, Publix will suck.

 
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