DAYUM!!!!

She must have been one heck of a mind-farker!

obituburn!

Ouch. :o

Holy crap. She had nine kids and apparently still managed to be an evil biatch.

She HAD to be a TFette!

right click-->copy-->change names-->post as my mom's obit when the time comes

Holy shiat. She must have been a truly horrible person. When we live in a world where even completely unredeemable sacks of crap like Jerry Falwell get mostly-respectful obits, I can't even begin to imagine what this woman did to get her family so riled up.

Photo of the deceased.

That's amazing! I've presided over a few funerals where I just knew everyone was thiking simelar thoughts about deady. Wow! 10/10 for honesty.

Gecko Gingrich: right click-->copy-->change names-->post as my mom grandmother's obit when the time comes

FTFMe

That's really quite sad.

That's just...wow. And here I am listening to Wish You Were Here while I read that.

She was probably mental in some way.

WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Passive aggressive asshole.

That was shameful.

R.I.P. Count Gottfried von Bismarck
"An extravagant host of homosexual orgies"



Count Gottfried von Bismarck, who died on July 2, 2007, aged 44, was a louche German aristocrat with a multi-faceted history as a pleasure-seeking heroin addict, hell-raising alcoholic, flamboyant waster and a reckless and extravagant host of homosexual orgies. When not clad in the lederhosen of his homeland, he cultivated an air of sophisticated complexity by appearing in women's clothes, set off by lipstick and fishnet stockings. Never concealing his homosexuality, von Bismarck continued to appear in public in various eccentric items of attire, including tall hats atop his bald Mekon-like head. At parties he would appear in exotic designer frock coats with matching trousers and emblazoned with enormous logos. Flitting from table to table at fashionable London nightclubs, he was said to be as comfortable among wealthy Eurotrash as he was on formal occasions calling for black tie.

eyehate: That was shameful.

Was it? Or, was it bitingly honest, just as Dolores would have wanted?

Somebody needs therapy. I wonder if Mom was actually ok, and this person was the one who was really farked up.

eyehate: WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Passive aggressive asshole.


Ain't nothing passive about it, my friend.

eyehate: That was shameful

Oh whatever. If the woman was a biatch that everyone hated, just because she'd dead doesn't mean she gets a pass.

We should have more obits like this, to point out to the assholes in our life, "See, this is all you will ever add up to, loser."

Some people do not deserve a fond farewell.

Wow, that was seriously harsh.

Makes me want to believe in ghosts just so she could haunt their asses and get the last laugh.

Tr0mBoNe: obituburn!

obitupwned!

Its the obituary Ive always wanted to see..

Well, this puts the "biatch" in "obituary."

/Too bad the filter's gonna make this even less funny

LOL

I wonder if it's real. That name is pretty common.

Shabash: Photo of the deceased.

Is that Al Gore in drag?

I guess this is better than no obituary. At least someone noticed.

"Speaker for the Dead", indeed. OSC got this one right on the money.

/Also noticed that the obit did not list her birthday, just the year.

Holy shiat. I can't even fathom what it would take for someone to write that. I mean, damn.

Sounds like my deceased Aunt Jenny, except for all the kids. Her husband bailed after two.

Grandma?

nashBridges: You don't speak ill of the dead because of any respect for the dead. You don't speak ill of the dead out of respect for the still living that might miss them. I'm sure this woman had a friend somewhere who is reading that obituary and is absolutely floored.

Well said.

That woman may have been horrible, but I guarantee she didn't treat everyone in her entire life as awfully as was portrayed in the obit. As a child, she was innocent, and she was someone's baby. Someone loved her or cared for her at least once. And that person deserves respect.

Who you are does not equal who you were in your last 5-20 years. Look at her children and grandchildren. Are you telling me ALL OF THEM think the world is a better place because this woman is dead? And what about her children's contributions to society? They wouldn't exist without her.

Sorry for the rant.

khonshu: And what about her children's contributions to society?

What if she raised a bunch of homocidal sociopaths because she's a creep?

/really.

Now that must have been one serious biatch.

That is awesome. Any guesses on what they'd put on the tombstone?

Wow.

/Bows to the greatness of the anonymous and disgruntled relative.

myalias1845: That is awesome. Any guesses on what they'd put on the tombstone?

Given the obit was written by her own children, "Fry in hell" on a post-it note attached to a salvaged cinder block seems likely.

Sweet! That should have been my grandmother's obit. Evil biatch. People only came to her funeral to make sure she was really daed and gone.

Before my grandfather died, he told me he had made me executor of his will. He made me promise I would do everything he had said in the will. Problem was, he didn't give me a copy of it, or tell me what he was so worked up about. In the hospital he made me promise again to do what he had written in the will, which was in his safe deposit box at the bank. So when he died, we went to the bank, and the only will there was written in 1952, before I was even born. Granny was the executor. No current will anywhere. And I later found out she had been into the safe deposit box the day after he died. That biatch took the will and destroyed it.

khonshu

That woman Adolf Hitler may have been horrible, but I guarantee she he didn't treat everyone in her his entire life as awfully as was portrayed in the obit. As a child, she he was innocent, and she he was someone's baby. Someone loved her him or cared for her him at least once. And that person deserves respect.


Improved your post for you.

Damn, sounds like someone's grave is going to get pissed on...

After reading this, did she die of natural causes or did a family member finally kill her?

/would be impressive if, being that awful, her last words were "Time is but a window, death is but a door, I will return."

All you have to do on Fark is even hint that Tony Snow might have been a shade less than God himself, and get deleted..

Meanwhile, one of us peons gets a crappy obit, and it makes the front page. Fair and balanced?? You decide.

I LOL'd

when did my mother-in-law die and why wasn't I invited to the party

DssDevl: DAYUM!!!!

My exact words after reading it.

I think it's a bit of both, pathetic because it lacks decorum but awesome because it lacks decorum.

Hotlinked for her pleasure.

More horror stories, please.

She must have been good in the sack, with nine kids. So someone thought she was worth tagging on a regular basis. Either that or there were no other women on biatch Island.