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(TimesUK) Amusing McCain's ten worst jokes. Surprisingly, "I am ready to be president" not one of them   (timesonline.typepad.com) divider line 109
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3582 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Aug 2008 at 11:00 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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feedle 2008-08-15 06:54:32 PM  
Could be worse.

"It would be nice to have Dan Quayle as my Veep."

 
Neurochemist 2008-08-15 09:28:33 PM  
Can you imagine how ape-shiat the Republicans would be going if Obama had said something like this:

"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?" he asked guests. "Because her father is Janet Reno."

Or if he called his wife a coont.

Or if he cheated on his wife who was horribly disfigured in an automobile accident.

/But...But.... He was in the POW camp!!!
//farking hypocrites. If I was Obama, I'd be feeding it to them on every major network, through every possible advertising medium.
///If Obama was doing this, would you be using it for justification to vote against him?

 
truth_is_stranger_than_fishin [TotalFark] 2008-08-15 09:34:01 PM  
THAT IS NOT FUNNY!



www.majhost.com

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2008-08-15 09:40:17 PM  
Surprisingly, "His Entire Campaign" didn't make the list.

 
Tabatha Static 2008-08-15 10:05:42 PM  
i27.photobucket.com

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-08-15 10:09:31 PM  
Wow, those really aren't funny. Don't confuse that with offensive. I don't mind offensive. I mind not funny.

And the Alzheimer's joke...I don't believe in karma as a rule but there's an exception to every rule.

 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark] 2008-08-15 11:04:30 PM  
What a surprise...this guy's a dick.

 
RemyDuron 2008-08-15 11:04:40 PM  
The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

I mean, I'd bet on Meghan McCain to win a wet t-shirt contest but. . . ON SECOND THOUGHT that might be too close to call, we should definitely do some tests!

/Really.
//Let's make it happen
\\Put it on Youtube.

 
RemyDuron 2008-08-15 11:06:41 PM  
God damn. . . this is the ONE article I've read that actually makes me like McCain, although there are better versions of a lot of those jokes.

/"What's the best thing about having Alzheimers?"
//"I don't know, what's the best thing?"
\\"Uh, what?"
||"What's the best thing about having Alzheimers?"
//"Who are you and what are you talking about?!"

 
scavenger 2008-08-15 11:10:29 PM  
It is going to be so depressing when he wins. I have no faith in our democracy.

 
Gangway Fathead 2008-08-15 11:16:36 PM  
McCain picked on a teenaged girl's looks when he was well in his 50's.


Class act.

 
RemyDuron 2008-08-15 11:17:26 PM  
Maybe we should just nominate George Carlin's corpse if we want someone who makes funny, tasteless jokes. Guaranteed better than McCain.

 
Monkeypillow 2008-08-15 11:21:38 PM  
I just saw a commercial of his on NBC. He said he would "battle big oil".

What a douchebag.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-08-15 11:22:54 PM  
McCain: "I accept the Republican nomination for President of the United States!"
Audience: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
McCain: "Why is everyone laughing?"
Moderator: "John, you're such a kidder!"
McCain: "I wasn't joking!"
Audience: "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

 
thatvoiceguy 2008-08-15 11:25:12 PM  
i108.photobucket.com

 
zenobia 2008-08-15 11:25:15 PM  
More creepy than anything.

And if those are the jokes he makes in public -- in front of journalists, for God's sake -- I'd hate to think what amuses him when he's with his friends.

 
gruntmints 2008-08-15 11:31:58 PM  
the mere fact that he called his wife a c--t would keep me from voting for him. Of course, I already wasn't going to vote for him anyway. This is just so disheartening though, having nobody to vote for this election season :-/

 
Shrugging Atlas 2008-08-15 11:34:47 PM  
"Did you hear the one about the candidate running for President who was a POW in Vietnam."

"Sadly, yes. Multiple times every farking day as a matter of fact."

 
Trik 2008-08-15 11:35:50 PM  
wasn't there some other pending heart attack / stroke victim that the republicans could have fielded?

you know, one that won't have vietnam flashbacks..

 
absoluteparanoia 2008-08-15 11:38:14 PM  
RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?

 
Andric 2008-08-15 11:41:29 PM  
absoluteparanoia: RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?


She does look all right from certain angles. Well... one angle, in this one pic of her I saw once. Other than that ...

 
Trik 2008-08-15 11:44:13 PM  
oh, and as to the jokes
he stinks on all levels

But
the only reason there isn't a obama 10 joke thread
he hasn't been around long enough
has no experience

 
Wine Sipping Elitist 2008-08-15 11:46:46 PM  
Andric: absoluteparanoia: RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?

She does look all right from certain angles. Well... one angle, in this one pic of her I saw once. Other than that ...


I'd hit it, and give her a pearl necklace as a parting gift. Maybe she can wear it with her Daddy's friend's blue dress.

 
Kurmudgeon 2008-08-15 11:47:12 PM  
"Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?"

You're the one accusing a man of finding a woman that's attractive, gay. I think you're mixed up, why don't you just go back to jacking off to pics of Dubya kissing Abdullah or McCain wallowing in Dubya's armpit.
Chelsea is cute, she has a girl next door vibe that I really like.
But go ahead, clown, keeping bashing Chelsea, I'm sure it makes you so popular with the women.

 
absoluteparanoia 2008-08-15 11:51:33 PM  
Andric: She does look all right from certain angles. Well... one angle, in this one pic of her I saw once. Other than that ...

You can thank plastic surgery for that one photo where she likes kind of okay, maybe.

cosmetic-makeovers.com

 
absoluteparanoia 2008-08-15 11:52:54 PM  
Kurmudgeon: You're the one accusing a man of finding a woman that's attractive, gay. I think you're mixed up, why don't you just go back to jacking off to pics of Dubya kissing Abdullah or McCain wallowing in Dubya's armpit.

There's just... too much stupid for one sentence. I'm at a loss for words.

 
rppp01a 2008-08-15 11:55:04 PM  
I guess McCain didn't like Reagan too much.
Here's his jab and the Former President:

8. The Alzheimers jibe. Shortly after President Reagan had been diagnosed with the degenerative illness, McCain made the following joke at a Republican fundraiser. " Do you know the best thing about having Alzheimer's?" he asked. "You get to hide your own Easter eggs."

And here's his jab at his wife:

10. The one about the French. In an interview with Fox News, McCain aimed at America's allies in Afghanistan. "You know," he began, "the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it."

I can't wait until Obama starts these one liners about Reagan. What a hoot.

 
Loucifer 2008-08-15 11:55:18 PM  
Chelsea's ok. I wouldn't Borgnine to her, but she's ok.

 
The Name 2008-08-16 12:00:54 AM  
RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

A joke actually using the word "awkward" could possibly have been funny, or at least not offensive. But the word he used was "ugly," which is just in terrible taste, especially for a senator talking about the president's daughter.

 
brainiac-dumdum [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:01:39 AM  
#4 is really funny, but also really mean to direct towards an awkward teen.

#8 is also pretty funny, and I suspect McCain will be enjoying that perk sooner than he suspects.

#9 is woefully unfunny.

The rest I deem mediocre.

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:06:21 AM  
absoluteparanoia: RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?


Umm, Chelsea is a decent looking woman.

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:07:22 AM  
absoluteparanoia: Andric: She does look all right from certain angles. Well... one angle, in this one pic of her I saw once. Other than that ...

You can thank plastic surgery for that one photo where she likes kind of okay, maybe.


Or growing up. You are really an asshole, aren't you?

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:08:28 AM  
absoluteparanoia: Kurmudgeon: You're the one accusing a man of finding a woman that's attractive, gay. I think you're mixed up, why don't you just go back to jacking off to pics of Dubya kissing Abdullah or McCain wallowing in Dubya's armpit.

There's just... too much stupid for one sentence. I'm at a loss for words.


How is that stupid? You are claiming the guy that finds a woman attractive is gay. THAT is stupid.

 
absoluteparanoia 2008-08-16 12:09:25 AM  
Sabyen91: Or growing up. You are really an asshole, aren't you?

Welcome to the internet.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:10:55 AM  
Andric: She does look all right from certain angles.

The top of her head maybe.

 
GoodasGold 2008-08-16 12:11:10 AM  
ron paul

 
Neurochemist 2008-08-16 12:11:21 AM  
Sabyen91: Umm, Chelsea is a decent looking woman.

-1

/After shiat-ton of plastic surgery

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:12:19 AM  
absoluteparanoia: Sabyen91: Or growing up. You are really an asshole, aren't you?

Welcome to the internet.


LOL, so, you aren't an asshole in real life? I doubt it.

 
culebra 2008-08-16 12:13:15 AM  
Sabyen91: absoluteparanoia: RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?

Umm, Chelsea is a decent looking woman.


But have you seen her knees?

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:14:10 AM  
Neurochemist: Sabyen91: Umm, Chelsea is a decent looking woman.

-1

/After shiat-ton of plastic surgery


Hmm, straightening your hair is plastic surgery. Got it.

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:15:21 AM  
culebra: Sabyen91: absoluteparanoia: RemyDuron: The one about Chelsea Clinton would be funny if Chelsea was still an awkward young girl. As is, she's pretty damn good looking.

Are you coming out in this thread? Or just admitting that you're blind?

Umm, Chelsea is a decent looking woman.

But have you seen her knees?


I know it, sharp. I heard studman69 doesn't like her at all.

 
gruntmints 2008-08-16 12:16:17 AM  
I'd find Chelsea attractive if it wasnt for the fact that I know she'll look like her mother when she gets older.

/gag

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-08-16 12:19:17 AM  
Anyway, the point is she was an awkward teen and McCain took advantage of that. Seems like a lot of you would do the same. A lot of you are JUST LIKE MCCAIN.

 
Mija 2008-08-16 12:26:46 AM  
Sabyen91: /After shiat-ton of plastic surgery

Hmm, straightening your hair is plastic surgery. Got it.


No blind person, but a nose job and a chin implant are. She didn't grow out of that kind of ugly. She slices and dices her way out of it.

 
Gangway Fathead 2008-08-16 12:27:11 AM  
Trik: oh, and as to the jokes
he stinks on all levels

But
the only reason there isn't a obama 10 joke thread
he hasn't been around long enough
has no experience




This actually could be fashioned into a good joke.

But the fact of the matter is, Obama has NO sense of humor. He's just one of those guys. He doesn't tell jokes because he CAN'T tell jokes - and thank god he doesn't try.

I like him for President, but I wouldn't pony up for the two drink minimum to see him at the Improv.

 
Zombie Hitler 2008-08-16 12:27:59 AM  
Sabyen91: Anyway, the point is she was an awkward teen and McCain took advantage of that. Seems like a lot of you would do the same. A lot of you are JUST LIKE MCCAIN.

Which is why he'll win. He knows he can do anything and win.

 
Captain Dan 2008-08-16 12:28:24 AM  
So McCain jokes about rape, ethnic cleansing, torture, and Alzheimers/pancakes.

And Fark has a problem with this?

 
Tony Stark 2008-08-16 12:30:18 AM  
" Do you know the best thing about having Alzheimer's?" he asked. "You get to hide your own Easter eggs."

I'll admit, I chuckled at a few of these

 
hotter than the ads 2008-08-16 12:30:34 AM  
Farkers aren't bothered by misogyny.

Color me shocked.

 
Peter von Nostrand 2008-08-16 12:36:10 AM  
Shrugging Atlas: "Did you hear the one about the candidate running for President who was a POW in Vietnam."

"Sadly, yes. Multiple times every farking day as a matter of fact."


POW is the new 9/11 FTW?

 
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