O RIELLY?

You can always count on the Onion to get the story.

And to think he could have avoided this whole mess if at first he had just put in some time being tortured in a random country on Asia's southeastern peninsula. Short sighted fool.

John Edwards : history :: Olivia Newton-John : Xanadu

John Edwards : Having a career :: Paris Hilton : Having some discretion

Here's a little known fact: John Edward's father was a mill worker.

DarthBrooks: John Edwards : history :: Olivia Newton-John : Xanadu

John Edwards was on the official soundtrack of history?

_{/with ELO on the flip side.}

Using junk science to shake down obstetricians over cerebral palsy claims?

Snarfangel: DarthBrooks: John Edwards : history :: Olivia Newton-John : Xanadu

John Edwards was on the official soundtrack of history?

/with ELO on the flip side.

No, silly. John Edwards is roller discoing through history. And he's a muse. Or bemused. I always get that one confused.

/wharrgarbl, just because

This is seriously what confuses me about the John Edwards affair scandal: who gives a crap about John Edwards? He's been irrelevant since he dropped out of the primaries, probably before that, even. Why it's become so huge is a mystery to me.

Affair to threaten whatever it is John Edwards does for a living


Ambulance chasing?

PerfectlyCromulent: This is seriously what confuses me about the John Edwards affair scandal: who gives a crap about John Edwards? He's been irrelevant since he dropped out of the primaries, probably before that, even. Why it's become so huge is a mystery to me.

Because there's not enough dirt to smear Obama with and, god damnit, they've got to make the democrats look bad SOMEHOW!

Not that I care about John Edwards. I'm kind of glad this has gotten attention, it means he won't be VP. But the fact that people are whining about how little attention this has gotten blows my mind.

PerfectlyCromulent: This is seriously what confuses me about the John Edwards affair scandal: who gives a crap about John Edwards? He's been irrelevant since he dropped out of the primaries, probably before that, even. Why it's become so huge is a mystery to me.

thatvoiceguy:

You know, I had actually forgotten about the forged letter scandal. Why the fark hasn't that gotten more coverage? Is the mass media only capable of talking about one legitimate story (Georgia) at a time? I swear, sometimes this country pisses me off so much...

This will be a major blow to the retired-lawyer-former-senator-slash-presidential-candidate-and-nonprofit-
foundation-founder's chances of being named attorney general or appointed to another cabinet position

THIS.

/It's not funny because it's true.

I like how the people complaining about all the attention this is getting over real news are the same moronic bloggers who whined about how MSM "refuses to pick this story up!" Now they're complaining about how much treatment it's getting? biatches, please. It's the media - wtf were you expecting?? This is one dog you should have let lie - not because the truth isn't important . . . but because this particular truth isn't.

CravenMorehead: Here's a little known fact: John Edward's father was a mill worker.

A winner is you.

If someone could post a picture of Maury with a "you're the daddy!" joke of some sort-I think that would be really cutting edge....

Anyone else having trouble reading The Onion articles lately? Just gives me a blue screen and crashes my internet.

PerfectlyCromulent: thatvoiceguy:

You know, I had actually forgotten about the forged letter scandal. Why the fark hasn't that gotten more coverage? Is the mass media only capable of talking about one legitimate story (Georgia) at a time? I swear, sometimes this country pisses me off so much...

Forged letter say what? That's old news. That's from way back when John Edwards (LOL) got caught farking some broad. Who cares about that now?

Whatever.

Who needs to make a living?

He's rich, bi-atch!

He doesn't need to make a stinking living ever again.

Not Al Gore rich, Dick Cheney rich, or Clinton rich, but still he's got enough money to live for the rest of his life--George W. Bush rich, maybe.

So his affair now disqualifies him for further government service.
Then shouldn't John McCain also be disqualified for cheating on his crippled wife, then divorcing her to marry his rich paramour? I thought the Republicans were the 'family values' party.

Couldn't Edwards just spanked it to some porn like all us normal folk? He'd be in a whole lot less trouble right now if he had.

While his affair doesn't really matter to me, his campaigning for the Democratic nomination on his supposedly squeaky clean image while he knew he had this huge skeleton in the closet is really shiatty of him. If he was the nominee right now, it would be a guaranteed win for McCain. He'd be as bad as Bill Clinton in handing over government to lunatics.

oregoncat: So his affair now disqualifies him for further government service.
Then shouldn't John McCain also be disqualified for cheating on his crippled wife, then divorcing her to marry his rich paramour? I thought the Republicans were the 'family values' party.

You forgot that when John McCain does practically anything that would normally be considered corrupt, it's either been 'too long' to care about it, or he's a 'maverick'.