They have no one to talk to?

shiat. I hear this from my mother about 17 times a day, every day. The problem is, all they want to talk about is themselves and how they shouldn't live there because they are totally clear mentally. Unfortunately, they're all batshiat and talking at each other at once.

My mother thinks everyone else has Alzheimer's, and she's perfectly fine.

atomic-age: My mother thinks everyone else has Alzheimer's, and she's perfectly fine.

My grandfather was the same way... but he usually finished his verbal assessment of other people's forgetfulness with "Dumbass."

He cracked me up.

What's she going to do with the money, save it?

When you're in your 90s, you can get away with having that party house you've always wanted...

Has she thought her cunning plan all the way through? Who's gonna care for them, now?

Maybe she can shell out for Life Alert for everyone.

ElLoco: atomic-age: My mother thinks everyone else has Alzheimer's, and she's perfectly fine.

My grandfather was the same way... but he usually finished his verbal assessment of other people's forgetfulness with "Dumbass."

He cracked me up.

Pretty much.

Here's a verbatim transcript of The Wraith's conversation with my husband last night:

TW: You are to bring me my car, *posthaste*. I need to leave here tomorrow.

MH: No, you live there.

TW: *I* don't live *here!* This is my relatives' house.

MH: No, it's a nursing home. I'm glad you like the staff so much that you feel they are family.

TW: Well, they're not *my* family!

MH: You just said they're your relatives.

TW: They're not *my* relatives. They're kin to *each other*!

17 phone calls and messages on my phone yesterday alone.

strathmeyer: Has she thought her cunning plan all the way through? Who's gonna care for them, now?

Maybe she can shell out for Life Alert for everyone.

To be fair, maybe somewhere there are nice sweet old people whose only infirmity is that they are old. And maybe they're lonely, and could get along in peace and harmony.

/I'm off to deprive a leprechaun of his pot of gold. It's equally plausible.

What a lovely woman. I hope she had the forethought to make it possible for her care home friends to continue living in her home after she passes away.

The old people smell is going to destroy the resale value of that house.

Well, that, and the fact that most people don't like to buy houses that people died in.

Does anyone know what the name of the book is? I didn't see it in the article.

She's been writing stories for years but never attempted to get them published. Then gets published in her 90's when her daughter pushes her to finally send in a manuscript. Procrastination? Fear of rejection? Low opinion of own work? She could have been living in a huge house years ago.

/off to buy some envelopes

It may be prudent to pave the way for old people to make their lives as wonderful as possible...seeing as everyone is going to be that way at some point in future, it would seem wise to prepare for the inevitable, by making sure all care homes are great and old people are respected and cared for, before we are too past it to do anything about it and are just in there, sitting staring out the window like this lady says has happened to her peers.

Its a warning

"I've Fallen But I Did Get Up" by Elenor Huxley

I liked the part where she must have asked more friends if they'd like to stay with her in excess of the number of bedrooms available.

The friends are now getting placed in a massive queue to move in? I'm sure that's going to make her really popular with the dozens of them who she told could come live with her, then responded with "sorry, you're number 21 on the waiting list".

chandrika: It may be prudent to pave the way for old people to make their lives as wonderful as possible...seeing as everyone is going to be that way at some point in future, it would seem wise to prepare for the inevitable, by making sure all care homes are great and old people are respected and cared for, before we are too past it to do anything about it and are just in there, sitting staring out the window like this lady says has happened to her peers.

Its a warning

Spoken like someone who hasn't had an Alzheimer's patient in his/her home for over a year.

Most old people don't want to be happy and will do everything in their possible to destroy the happiness of anyone unfortunate enough to be in their orbit.

That is a $620,000.00 house?

antialias: Does anyone know what the name of the book is? I didn't see it in the article.

FTFA: The widow says she intends to use all the money raised from her book A Dangerous Weakness to get loved ones out of care homes. (my emphasis)

It's good to see Nancy Pelosi is paying it forward.

Are they hot?

*fapping slowly*

Two Dogs Farking

Thanks, I think I'll pick up a copy.

atomic-age:

Most old people don't want to be happy and will do everything in their possible to destroy the happiness of anyone unfortunate enough to be in their orbit.

I bet they have weird orgies, too. Or reenact scenes from Cocoon.

wydok: I bet they have weird orgies, too. Or reenact scenes from Cocoon.

Maybe both at the same time?

code_monkey: wydok: I bet they have weird orgies, too. Or reenact scenes from Cocoon.

Maybe both at the same time?

Ew. A friend of mine worked his way through nursing school as an aide in a hospital. He told me he had seen so many naked wrinkly old bodies that seeing normal healthy people took him by surprise. His lady felt the same way about non-obese people. She worked as a dietician in a hospital. It got to where she was surprised when folks *weren't* fat and diabetic.

FunkOut:

Probably a little of each.

"Mr. Crabcalf was propped up, not against pillows or a bolster of straw, but by books: and every book was the same book with its dark grey spine. There at his back, banked up like a wall of bricks, were the so-called 'remainders' of an epic, long ago written, long ago forgotten, except by its author, for his lifework lay at his shoulder blades.

Out of the five hundred copies printed thirty years ago by a publisher long since bankrupt, only twelve copies had been sold.
Around his bead, three hundred identical volumes were erected...like walls or ramparts, protecting him from - what? There was also a cache beneath the bed that gathered dust and silver-fish.

He lay with his past beside him, beneath him, and at his head; his past, five hundred times repeated, covered with dust and silver-fish. His head, like Jacob's on the famous stone, rested against the volumes of lost breath. The ladder from his miserable bed reached up to heaven. But there were no angels."

-Mervyn Peake

Sygonus is right. She is a nasty woman. She should be ashamed of herself for inviting more people than she could house. Is she going to set up some sort of iron-man competition for the open spots with wheelchair jousting and a creamed corn eating contest?

I could see doing that myself if I had the money. Hire a cook and cleaning staff and a nurse to come in once a day and have Life Alert buttons and railings all around.

My 90 year old grandmother lives in one of the best assisted-living facilities in her town (ie. she has her own apartment but shared dining room, etc, as opposed to a nursing home where everyone's permanently in beds and wheel chairs). But damn is it a depressing place. The staff treats the entire populace like they're in preschool. I initially thought that the tissue paper butterflies stuck to apartment doors were made by loving grandchildren but then was disturbed to learn that they were made by the residents themselves. They also like to decorate with puzzles glued onto construction paper. Lots and lots of damned puzzles pinned to the wall. Last time I visited the activity of the day was painting flowers on rocks with poster paints. My grandmother reads The Guardian and The Economist for farks sake. She points at the glued puzzles when no one is around and mimes puking.

She also has a painful bunch of folks she has to sit with for every mediocre meal (eg. breaded chicken cutlet on a pasty white hamburger bun, and that old folks' cliché, PUDDING). One guy ALWAYS tells me about when he visited my home town once... in 1935. And he has nothing else to talk about. One woman has a pathological need to ruin your day. My grandmother and I were talking about a friend who had just had twins and this bright ray of sunshine chimes in with, "Oh, did you hear about that woman who was pregnant with twins who was shot and both of the twins died? I think it happened in your city." (Later that day I googled and no woman pregnant with twins had been shot anywhere recently).

So yeah, if I had the money I'd use it to surround myself with less stupid company and better food.

And btw, you keep a waiting list of friends because the turnover rate at that age is damned high. My grandmother isn't sitting down to chicken cutlets with the same five people she sat down with two years ago.

ruta: I could see doing that myself if I had the money.

Your grandma sounds pretty cool. I hope you get a nice windfall so you can move her out of that place.

Massive house?? Please.

Subby must rent a cardboard box in an alley somewhere.

antialias: ruta: I could see doing that myself if I had the money.

Your grandma sounds pretty cool. I hope you get a nice windfall so you can move her out of that place.

If my mother were still capable of reading and comprehending, much less retaining information, she would not be in a nursing home. She's physically high functioning, but her recall is 15-30 seconds. She behaves in a constant fight / flight loop that involves money and car. She constantly wants access to money and her car. She calls her family members continually, all day long demanding her car.

When she had access to her money, she spent up to $200 a day with absolutely nothing to show for it. I mean nothing. She cannot prepare even the simplest meal, because it would require following steps in order. She cannot do that. She has to be supervised 100% of the time, because she leaves and gets lost. The police returned her to me three separate times.

This is the reason for the tissue paper butterflies in nursing homes. Most elderly patients have at least some dementia. If your grandmother doesn't, she should not be on a dementia unit. I feel really bad for her if she truly doesn't need to be there. My mother definitely does. She hates it there, but she didn't like living at my house either. She doesn't like me or my husband, or anyone, that I can discern.

I want my husband to kill me when I start becoming more mean than I am worth.

I bet he won't, however. He's a softie.

atomic-age: If my mother were still capable of reading and comprehending, much less retaining information, she would not be in a nursing home...I want my husband to kill me when I start becoming more mean than I am worth.

That's terrible, I'm sorry she is in such a state. Obviously she can't get the care she needs anywhere else. I think ruta's grandmother is lucid, though, and would be fine outside a nursing home.

/if I ever start suffering from incurable dementia I'm going to "permaban" myself

2 years before theyre bankrupt and the house is full of cat feces.

antialias: atomic-age: If my mother were still capable of reading and comprehending, much less retaining information, she would not be in a nursing home...I want my husband to kill me when I start becoming more mean than I am worth.

That's terrible, I'm sorry she is in such a state. Obviously she can't get the care she needs anywhere else. I think ruta's grandmother is lucid, though, and would be fine outside a nursing home.

/if I ever start suffering from incurable dementia I'm going to "permaban" myself

See, here's the depressing part. My mother swore she would never be a burden on me, that she would cheerfully go to the nursing home. She swore this, after dealing with my EVIL, wretched, mean as hell grandmother's dementia.

Dementia is a hell of an illness.

I'm certain I will be horrible, possibly as bad as my grandmother was. God, I hated that old biatch and wished her dead for years. I fear that when my mind goes, a vortex of suck leading straight to hell will open up from my head. At least there will be no offspring to have to deal with me. Anyone putting up with me will be either paid to or possibly my poor husband, if he lives that long.

i fear that if my mind went, I would NOT kill myself, that rather, I'd be a horror just like my mother and grandmother. It's such a terrible illness. They don't realize they are awful; they think everyone else is.

So this is one thing that those damn Asians do right. Red Chinese bastards! Take care of old people. And by take care I dont mean toss in the river like a unwanted child, I mean take care of them and respect them. Them Asians are good like that!

My grandma is in a place like that. Not too bad, but shes pissed about it, but we can handle her care and the bit of dementia.



/Unless her clock is really haunted, there are people constantly breaking into her house that we need to call the cops aout every night, and she 3 am is 10 am.

atomic-age: i fear that if my mind went, I would NOT kill myself, that rather, I'd be a horror just like my mother and grandmother. It's such a terrible illness. They don't realize they are awful; they think everyone else is.

Wow! I dont have to deal with the crap you go through day by day but that has to be the most ego centric retarded crap I have ever heard. Do you really feel that way! Then go to seek some help because you have lost it. And I am little unbalanced so I should konow. They dont realize they are awful? FARKIN A... I am going to send your heartless comment to everyone I know. WHY? Because I cannot believe it.

PS: You are awful.

atomic-age: i fear that if my mind went, I would NOT kill myself, that rather, I'd be a horror just like my mother and grandmother. It's such a terrible illness. They don't realize they are awful; they think everyone else is.

Yeah. I guess all I can say to that is, I hope it never happens to you. :(

Lottolandus: So this is one thing that those damn Asians do right.

There is a tendency in the Western world to revere youth and revile old age. Respect for the elderly is generally much more important in Eastern cultures.

I love it.

Every time a human being does something kind that makes the news, farkistan shows up to denigrate, criticize, and offer inane financial advice from the basements of America.

Sometimes I think I visit this site just so I'll remember to clean my sniper rifle.

boobsrgood: love it.

Every time a human being does something kind that makes the news, farkistan shows up to denigrate, criticize, and offer inane financial advice from the basements of America.

Sometimes I think I visit this site just so I'll remember to clean my sniper rifle.

So is it a .308 or a wildcat round? Or are you a loser?

atomic-age, from your profile:

I foster for my local humane society and have rescued and rehomed a slew of cats and dogs. I quit counting cats rescued in 2002 at around 100. It's got to be pushing 300 by now. I'm a slave to these bastards. Fortunately, they do go live someplace else when they get adopted, otherwise, they'd have picked my skeleton clean by now.

So, being a slave to cats is OK but you draw the line at your mother?

I don't want to troll, and far be it for me to say what is acceptable when dealing with a parent in such a condition, but it seems your demeanor on the matter is almost hateful.

boobsrgood: Sometimes I think I visit this site just so I'll remember to clean my sniper rifle.

Can you wait until after I buy a copy of her book to assassinate me?

My mum worked for years as a carers in these homes and now inspects them.

She's already told me not to look after her at home and to never feel guilty. A fully grown adult that thinks they know what they're doing is very hard work.

Woman in the artical sounds like she wants the last few years of these peoples lives to be happy. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Something's not right here. AuthorHouse doesn't pay an advance. In fact, they charge a fee. They aren't a real publisher, they are a vanity press.

This is getting sad. I am pissed off at people who have 300 cats and who hate their parents. I really am sorry. Not to be troll or ass. I really feel regret for saying some of the things that I said. No sarcasm. Sorry.

I'd hit it.

DaedalusZM: atomic-age, from your profile:

I foster for my local humane society and have rescued and rehomed a slew of cats and dogs. I quit counting cats rescued in 2002 at around 100. It's got to be pushing 300 by now. I'm a slave to these bastards. Fortunately, they do go live someplace else when they get adopted, otherwise, they'd have picked my skeleton clean by now.

So, being a slave to cats is OK but you draw the line at your mother?

I don't want to troll, and far be it for me to say what is acceptable when dealing with a parent in such a condition, but it seems your demeanor on the matter is almost hateful.

She was not a kind or nurturing woman. As a young child, I was second fiddle to everything else in my mother's life. She barely noticed me. My teen years were devoted to caring for my grandmother, who was mean as hell. Now she says hateful things to me and husband daily, despite the fact that we took her into our home and cared for her for a year, when no one else would. She had been in a nursing home that kept her so drugged that she drooled.

We took damn good care of her; took her out for long walks and did whatever she wanted for months and months. And she got worse and worse, while we got worn out. I'm still worn out and depleted. My mind and body are not recharged from what was taken out of my on a daily basis.

All you people who think I am awful can kiss my ass. Until you've walked a mile you'll never know how bad it is to care for someone you want to love and protect but who resents and hates you for it. Especially when that person didn't really love and protect you.

Lottolandus: This is getting sad. I am pissed off at people who have 300 cats and who hate their parents. I really am sorry. Not to be troll or ass. I really feel regret for saying some of the things that I said. No sarcasm. Sorry.

I can't tell from this statement whether you are really offering an apology to atomic_age. You need to calm down. She has a mother with Alz and she can't do a thing about it so she's blowing off steam and dealing the best she can. She's *able* to help cats, so she helps them. As you originally said, you have no idea what she endures every day, and you owe her a straight-up "sorry, I flew off the handle for no reason". Go.

Lottolandus: So this is one thing that those damn Asians do right. Red Chinese bastards! Take care of old people. And by take care I dont mean toss in the river like a unwanted child, I mean take care of them and respect them. Them Asians are good like that!

Actually, with the extended lifespan and the 1-2-4 crisis, it's getting harder. Also, many countries don't have any other options for the elderly.

drsewell: That is a $620,000.00 house?

You don't get much real estate for your money in England. Very small, very crowded country. Why, I myself live in a wet cardboard box in the middle of the motorway. And I'm grateful.