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(Denver Post) Spiffy Congress introduces Halting Airplane Noise to Give Us Peace (HANG UP) act which makes the ban on cell phone use while flying permanent, overriding the STFU act passed in 1998   (denverpost.com) divider line 156
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Whamdangler 2008-08-10 10:01:18 AM  
What a bunch of whining pansy asswipes.

 
Skail [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:04:55 AM  
Personally, I think this should be left to the airlines to decide. Things shouldn't be made illegal just because they're annoying.

That said, I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.

 
rmoose 2008-08-10 10:13:31 AM  
Thank god our government is getting involved to further erode the rights of airlines to decide what is appropiate on their flights.

 
Grandmaster Poopypants [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:25:08 AM  
Skail: I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.

So would I, unless there was an airline that banned children, too.

 
R.A.Danny [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:27:48 AM  
Skail: That said, I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use allow us to eviscerate obnoxious travelers even if a cellphone isn't involved.


ftfm

 
cyberworm [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:32:00 AM  
It's a shame that congress had to get involved instead of people proactively just being considerate of others. One time I had a flight from LA to South Bend, but when I got to chicago, the weather was so bad my flight was cancelled. My options were to stay in a hotel or take a 4 hour bus ride. I decided to take the bus and I couldn't believe just how annoyingly bad it was. Phones kept ringing every 5 or 6 minutes. At one point, this woman was talking to someone about her cat for about 10 miuntes then it devolved into something like "can you hear me? hello? for another 5, then she hung up and whoever it was she had been talking to called her back, and she kept talking about her cat. Things generally went on like that for pretty much the whole bus trip. A bus is a miserable way to travel, but at least it stops every now and then and sometimes you can even open a window or sneak a cigarette in the bathroom. I couldn't imagine what allowing phone calls on an airplane would be like, or the stabbings that would ensue.

 
DarthBrooks [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:46:26 AM  
There will be a cell phone seating section.

Shouldn't Congress be working on stuff like, I dunno, INFRASTRUCTURE?

 
DarthBrooks [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 10:47:43 AM  
Alternatively:

www.hojohnlee.com

 
bobbiepaws [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 11:02:21 AM  
If congress MUST get involved in the airline industry...where's my passengers' bill of rights? I would totally freak out if they tried to keep me on a plane for hours on end - regardless of whether or not there was food, water, fresh air, etc. Isn't that considered false imprisonment or kidnapping or something?

Yeah, screaming kids and cell phones on planes are right up there with root canals and ingrown toenail removal.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 11:06:53 AM  
All passengers are instructed to leave their cell phone in the TSA agent closest to the boarding platform. On arrival at your destination, reach into the nearest TSA agent, extract a cell phone, and proceed to the washing and sterlizing station.

 
Tabatha Static 2008-08-10 11:15:52 AM  
...because of all the problems faced by air travelers these days this is the most pressing concern.

And stop it with the silly bureaucratic acronym law names, already. When you Orwellian phukkheads did the "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism" Act, you blew your last chance.

 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 11:24:28 AM  
The passengers of United 93 do not approve.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 12:05:25 PM  
So this means we can't call to say, umm, the plane's being hijacked?.

 
brx 2008-08-10 12:07:28 PM  
There's a US Constitution and it is supposed to place limits on what the government can do - unless you blatantly ignore it.

 
fernanernie 2008-08-10 12:08:11 PM  
DarthBrooks

Shouldn't Congress be working on stuff like, I dunno, INFRASTRUCTURE?

Election year my friend, pointless issues are hot, no actual work or decision making involved.

 
machodonkeywrestler 2008-08-10 12:09:55 PM  
This is just so they can charge you for per flight for internet service (and VOIP phone calls), thereby eliminating the free market so that they can control prices.

 
Je5tEr 2008-08-10 12:10:48 PM  
Last time I was on a plane the was a phone in the seat-back in front of ever person. This is just a scam to get people to have to pay for using the airline phones.

 
SwallowTheKnife 2008-08-10 12:12:11 PM  
Isn't this the same Fark where everyone tells stories about why they hate people waiting in line (or at the grocery store, or in a bus) talking on their cellphones and they want to use a signal jammer slash jam the phone up their ass internet tough guy yada yada.

Now all of a sudden everyone shiats their pants.

 
worlddan 2008-08-10 12:12:44 PM  
cyberworm: I couldn't imagine what allowing phone calls on an airplane would be like, or the stabbings that would ensue.


I totally agree. This is not a business issue but a public safety issue.

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 12:13:01 PM  
Grandmaster Poopypants: Skail: I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.

So would I, unless there was an airline that banned children, too.


THIS

 
pxlboy [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 12:13:55 PM  
fernanernie: DarthBrooks

Shouldn't Congress be working on stuff like, I dunno, INFRASTRUCTURE?

Election year my friend, pointless issues are hot, no actual work or decision making involved.


how is that different from any other day with congress?

 
Manfred J. Hattan 2008-08-10 12:14:28 PM  
Grandmaster Poopypants: Skail: I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.

So would I, unless there was an airline that banned children, too.


Lots of people say things like that, and you two may actually mean it, but statistically what people really mean is that they'd take the cheapest flight on Travelocity, even if it meant standing up and using a strap, subway style, in shait up to their knees and the flight left at 4:15 AM. Unfortunately, there's a reason airlines are in a race to the bottom, and it's not that people entered the airline industry because dentistry had become too pain-free.

 
GizmoToy 2008-08-10 12:16:48 PM  
machodonkeywrestler: This is just so they can charge you for per flight for internet service (and VOIP phone calls), thereby eliminating the free market so that they can control prices.

The stuff I've read has said this would ban all in-flight phone usage, even the airline's own pay service.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-10 12:17:10 PM  
CygnusDarius: So this means we can't call to say, umm, the plane's being hijacked?.

would it really make any difference?

 
siva 2008-08-10 12:17:55 PM  
Manfred J. Hattan: Grandmaster Poopypants: Skail: I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.

So would I, unless there was an airline that banned children, too.

Lots of people say things like that, and you two may actually mean it, but statistically what people really mean is that they'd take the cheapest flight on Travelocity, even if it meant standing up and using a strap, subway style, in shait up to their knees and the flight left at 4:15 AM. Unfortunately, there's a reason airlines are in a race to the bottom, and it's not that people entered the airline industry because dentistry had become too pain-free.


That's only true of certain travelers. Its a diverse market.

You farkhead.

 
ProtoDewd 2008-08-10 12:21:07 PM  
"You are trying to legislate courtesy, folks, and that just doesn't work," Mica said.

THIS

 
I'm The Foot Farking Master 2008-08-10 12:21:32 PM  
"A third House member raised the specter of national security, saying she'd witnessed one man use his cellphone camera to take pictures of sensitive parts of the airplane."

Farkin retards... WTF? Were they taking pictures of the planes vagina? What farking sensitive parts? Commercial airliners are not secret military planes. Did he crack open the IFF Transponder and hack the code? No, so STFU... There are no sensitive parts that a passenger can takes pictures of while in the cabin.

/Former Ground Plane Captain

 
d'art 2008-08-10 12:22:25 PM  
Geez, I'm as big-government liberal as anybody, but how on Earth is this something the government should be regulating?

I can understand cell phones in schools, but on private carriers?

 
Manfred J. Hattan 2008-08-10 12:22:55 PM  
siva: That's only true of certain travelers. Its a diverse market.

You farkhead.


Then go for it. Airplanes have never been cheaper; the existing airlines are shedding capacity left and right. Maybe every single one of them is wrong. Maybe there's enough of a market to sustain at least a small airline which bans cellphones and children and charges a premium price. Maybe the dozens and dozens and dozens of failed airlines who tried exactly that business plan (or extra seat pitch or any of a dozen other extras) and tried to get away with a premium price were just missing that one thing.

Good luck.

 
farkuufarkinfark 2008-08-10 12:23:08 PM  
Congress. Eroding one freedom at a time.

 
clipperbox 2008-08-10 12:23:11 PM  
This line gave me a chuckle/raised an eyebrow, FTFA:

"A third House member raised the specter of national security, saying she'd witnessed one man use his cellphone camera to take pictures of sensitive parts of the airplane."


What parts was she referring to?

 
blazemongr 2008-08-10 12:24:26 PM  
Grandmaster Poopypants: So would I, unless there was an airline that banned children, too.

Have you ever been in a cockpit before, Timmy?

 
EmployeeOfTheMinute 2008-08-10 12:24:46 PM  
Why half-step it? Just pass a law banning everything that annoys Congress.

 
clipperbox 2008-08-10 12:25:19 PM  
I'm The Foot Farking Master:

/Former Ground Plane Captain



/Dang it, you beat me to that quote!
//Current Interiors Engineer

 
austin_millbarge 2008-08-10 12:27:44 PM  
Tabatha Static: ...because of all the problems faced by air travelers these days this is the most pressing concern.

And stop it with the silly bureaucratic acronym law names, already. When you Orwellian phukkheads did the "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism" Act, you blew your last chance.


THIS

/because the Government Intrusion and Surveillance Act wouldn't quite sit well with the redneck party.

 
blazemongr 2008-08-10 12:29:11 PM  
EmployeeOfTheMinute: Why half-step it? Just pass a law banning everything that annoys Congress.

Sorry, the office of the President is in the Constitution.

 
dangredneck 2008-08-10 12:29:46 PM  
FTFA
"WASHINTON - Cellphone calls on airplanes in flight are unsafe and obnoxious and should be banned permanently, according to some members of Congress."

First...Is Denver Posts proofreader on vacation? Maybe in WASHINTON?

Second...cell phones unsafe?...WTF...
Lady, have you ever been cut with a "razr" phone? Although,I have heard of Blackberry "battery".

 
AnyName 2008-08-10 12:29:52 PM  
HELLO?!?! THE PLANE JUST LANDED!! I'M ON THE PLANE AND IT JUST LANDED!! BYE!!

HELLO?!?! I'M GETTING OFF THE PLANE NOW!! I'LL CALL YOU WHEN I GET TO THE BAGGAGE CLAIM!!

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-10 12:30:33 PM  
I'm The Foot Farking Master: "A third House member raised the specter of national security, saying she'd witnessed one man use his cellphone camera to take pictures of sensitive parts of the airplane."

Farkin retards... WTF? Were they taking pictures of the planes vagina? What farking sensitive parts? Commercial airliners are not secret military planes. Did he crack open the IFF Transponder and hack the code? No, so STFU... There are no sensitive parts that a passenger can takes pictures of while in the cabin.

/Former Ground Plane Captain


???
www.enigmatic-consulting.com

 
EmployeeOfTheMinute 2008-08-10 12:33:16 PM  
blazemongr: EmployeeOfTheMinute: Why half-step it? Just pass a law banning everything that annoys Congress.

Sorry, the office of the President is in the Constitution.


The Constitution? Didn't someone once say that it's just a Goddamned piece of paper?

 
Oznog 2008-08-10 12:33:29 PM  
ZAZ: All passengers are instructed to leave their cell phone in the TSA agent closest to the boarding platform. On arrival at your destination, reach into the nearest TSA agent, extract a cell phone, and proceed to the washing and sterlizing station.

The cell phone you get back may not be the same one you gave them, but just be happy you got A cell phone back. And after all there's a 50% chance of an upgrade here.

 
AmazingRuss 2008-08-10 12:34:54 PM  
I'm all for allowing cell phone use on planes, if beating the crap out of some inane, loud, jabbering lout is also allowed, whether or not they have a phone.

 
Bacontastesgood 2008-08-10 12:35:25 PM  
On the annoyance scale:

Cell phones - 0.5
Guy with cast and crutches in emergency exit row - 2
Fatass who shoulda bought two tickets in next seat spilling over into yours - 3
Fascist flight attendants - 4
Flight delays - 6
Unintelligible captain over mic who won't STFU about something useless like which exact flight path we're taking, and who leaves the seat belt light on for four hours through mild turbulence as if the whole plane can collectively hold it that long - 8
Going to the toilet right after someone who just pumped out a nasty - 9
Screaming babies - 11

 
blazemongr 2008-08-10 12:36:27 PM  
EmployeeOfTheMinute: The Constitution? Didn't someone once say that it's just a Goddamned piece of paper?

You shut your mouth when the Founding Fathers are talking, biatch.

 
tedbundee 2008-08-10 12:39:30 PM  
rmoose: Thank god our government is getting involved to further erode the rights of airlines to decide what is appropiate on their flights.

I don't give a f*ck about airline rights, I want mine back first, damnit

 
EmployeeOfTheMinute 2008-08-10 12:40:01 PM  
blazemongr: EmployeeOfTheMinute: The Constitution? Didn't someone once say that it's just a Goddamned piece of paper?

You shut your mouth when the Founding Fathers are talking, biatch.


That quote was from George W

 
God Is My Co-Pirate 2008-08-10 12:40:03 PM  
Skail: Personally, I think this should be left to the airlines to decide. Things shouldn't be made illegal just because they're annoying.

That said, I would exclusively patronize those airlines that did ban cell phone use.


I don't disagree, but this is probably going to prevent several murders.

 
Tat'dGreaser [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 12:40:23 PM  
I'm The Foot Farking Master: Farkin retards... WTF? Were they taking pictures of the planes vagina? What farking sensitive parts? Commercial airliners are not secret military planes. Did he crack open the IFF Transponder and hack the code? No, so STFU... There are no sensitive parts that a passenger can takes pictures of while in the cabin.

/Former Ground Plane Captain


I had a mental picture of a bunch of terrorists sitting around recon pictures of an airplane saying, "Oh well shiat guys, we can't hijack this plane. Just look at how small that overhead compartment is!"

 
strathmeyer 2008-08-10 12:41:09 PM  
Skail: Things shouldn't be made illegal just because they're annoying.

How on earth are they more annoying that someone having a conversation with the person sitting next to you, or those people who won't stop having a conversation with you? (Monologue at you?)

This is just about people who think they are better because they don't use cell phones.

 
driven to quit [TotalFark] 2008-08-10 12:41:14 PM  
I for one welcome congress's interference in this because everything they touch goes straight to hell and the airline industry was already dying so this just speeds the process up.

 
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