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(Onion AV Club) Obvious James Taylor's "How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved by You)" is the least rockin' song of all time   (avclub.com) divider line 36
More: Obvious  
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NotoriousW.O.P 2008-08-04 03:40:42 PM  
But the same song by Junior Walker and the All-Stars is one of the most rockin' songs of all time

 
dugitman [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 04:14:34 PM  
*Reads criteria in TFA*

If Jimmy Buffet is in the Rock & Roll HOF then just throw a dart at his song catalog.

 
mekkab [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-04 05:36:07 PM  
NotoriousW.O.P: But the same song by Junior Walker and the All-Stars is one of the most rockin' songs of all time

That's actually part of the criteria; did you RTFA?

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 05:38:01 PM  
"Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" appears to be a perfect candidate for the least rockin' song of all time. But Aerosmith gets a pass because of "Walk This Way" and "Sweet Emotion" and "Mama Kin." But if Aerosmith ever records a song that not rocks that hard again, look out."

Because of this I could care less what this guys thinks. Man do I hate Aerosmith.

 
jwhite33 2008-08-04 05:42:46 PM  
Have these people not heard of Barry Freakin' Manilow?


vipphoto.ru

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 05:45:09 PM  
jwhite33: Have these people not heard of Barry Freakin' Manilow?

FTFA

1. The song must be performed by someone with rock 'n' roll credibility

It would be too easy to pick a song by an easy listening cheeseball like Barry Manilow or Josh Groban, so decidedly non-rockin' artists are disqualified because the average listener has no reasonable expectation of being rocked by anything they do. The least rockin' song of all time is still a rock song, though just barely.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 05:48:08 PM  
I am so unmotivated. I'm going to the pub to get drunk and start a fight.

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 05:54:47 PM  
2. The song does not elicit any kind of passionate response

There are tons of annoyingly hateable songs out there. But the least rockin' song of all time does not inspire hatred. It does not inspire anything. It is a passion neutralizer.


This is the one that is getting me. I cant think of a "meh" song that fits the other criteria but here is my pick:

Green Day "Good Riddance [Time Of Your Life]"

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams
is the other one to satisfy Criteria #4

 
MikeXpop 2008-08-04 06:11:40 PM  
Being in the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame does not give you credibility of any kind.

 
zappaisfrank [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 06:13:22 PM  
James Taylor was an excellent songwriter once upon a time. I had the "Sweet Baby James" album when it was first released and still like it today.

However, in recent years, it seems like all he does are covers of oldie songs and turn them into "lite rock".

Handy Man
Everyday
Up On The Roof

All of the original versions of these songs are better than James' tepid covers. Perhaps his well went dry when Carly split on him.

/still liked him as The Driver in "Two Lane Blacktop".

 
Valdes 2008-08-04 06:14:51 PM  
R&RHOF:

No STOOGES = NO FUN

The last ten seconds of Search and Destroy is the most rocking 10 seconds of anything, ever, in the history of anything.

EVER

 
MikeXpop 2008-08-04 06:16:56 PM  
That being said, I cast my ballot of Desert Rose by Sting.

1. Sting was in the Police, so he has plenty of credibility.
2. The song doesn't inspire hatred; it just falls flat.
3. Fields of Gold is a ballad, but Desert Rose isn't.
4. Sting used up his mulligan with Don't Stand So Close to Me '86.

 
Valdes 2008-08-04 06:19:28 PM  
Sting used up his mulligan with his entire solo career.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 06:28:50 PM  
Did he really diss Van Morrison in that article?

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 06:29:51 PM  
Valdes: R&RHOF:

No STOOGES = NO FUN

The last ten seconds of Search and Destroy is the most rocking 10 seconds of anything, ever, in the history of anything.

EVER


Search and Destory is one of my all time favorite tracks. In the recent years punk bands have been getting the nod from the HoF even though The Stooges (maybe the Ramones) should have been the first in. IMHO Bad Brains, The Misfits, Brian Eno, Iron Maiden, and Dead Kennedys should all be in too.

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 06:33:08 PM  
ZAZ: Did he really diss Van Morrison in that article?

I dont think he has seen The Last Waltz. Any man who high kicks like that in a purple shimmering jump suit should never be included in the discussion for a "Least Rockin" list

 
CheddarPants [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 06:45:33 PM  
Valdes: Sting used up his mulligan with his entire solo career.

I could never figure out how he kicked so much ass with the Police, only to suck so mightily on his own. Even Vince Neil's solo stuff is better than Sting's.

 
mrchowwow 2008-08-04 07:33:49 PM  
'Feelings'?

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 07:34:22 PM  
I could never figure out how he kicked so much ass with the Police, only to suck so mightily on his own.

Me neither. Kind of like Phil Collins.

Check out Eva Cassidy's version of "Fields of Gold." It beats Sting's.

 
creepy jackalope eye 2008-08-04 07:56:38 PM  
Finally something on a music list I agree with.

 
Third_Uncle_Eno 2008-08-04 07:59:32 PM  
What is this "Mulligan" that has been spoken of thus far?

 
InternetLOL 2008-08-04 08:12:58 PM  
Third_Uncle_Eno: What is this "Mulligan" that has been spoken of thus far?

Golf slang for a free pass. To take a Mulligan means to get a by on something you did that really, really sucked.

 
blick [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 09:01:35 PM  
Gunny Highway: jwhite33: Have these people not heard of Barry Freakin' Manilow?

FTFA

1. The song must be performed by someone with rock 'n' roll credibility

It would be too easy to pick a song by an easy listening cheeseball like Barry Manilow or Josh Groban, so decidedly non-rockin' artists are disqualified because the average listener has no reasonable expectation of being rocked by anything they do. The least rockin' song of all time is still a rock song, though just barely.


manilow wasn't always a cheesy weeny. he's actually got some really great chops as a piano player. i used to see him in new york years ago when he was bette midler's piano player before she hit it big. here's one of the gig at the baths a ditty called marijuana . note the piano player *is* manilow.

 
mfaby 2008-08-04 09:04:58 PM  
ZAZ 2008-08-04 06:28:50 PM
Did he really diss Van Morrison in that article?


Not exactly; he just wrote that 'Brown Eyed Girl' fills him with
hate and rage.

Which is too bad because its a nice song -although I admit that I have drifted in and out of like with it; currently in a
'like it enough not to turn it off' stage.

Saw Van do it on American Bandstand will bowling one Saturday
morning at the Bunker Hill/Grissom AFB located north of Kokomo and south of Peru Indiana. Mary Godsey where are you?

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 09:34:24 PM  
James Taylor sucks.

 
Gunny Highway 2008-08-04 09:46:23 PM  
blick: manilow wasn't always a cheesy weeny. he's actually got some really great chops as a piano player. i used to see him in new york years ago when he was bette midler's piano player before she hit it big. here's one of the gig at the baths a ditty called marijuana . note the piano player *is* manilow.

That is pretty awesome. I never doubted Barry was talented, I was just quoting the article. Even though that piano playing was badass I wouldnt call it "rockin." But I think that definition varies from person to person. Thanks for the video I have never seen it before.

 
Tanukis_Parachute 2008-08-04 10:47:59 PM  
how sweet it is was my wife and i's song at our reception. i like james taylor at the right moment. we chose that song over....

moondance by morrison. why? it was SHORTER for the dance.

i love van the man. some songs miss but he is a professional and talented. i love his style and taste.

i like all kinds of music. rockin or not doesn't matter to me.

maiden, motorhead, tony rice, coltrane, segovia, classical, modern jazz quartet, the fixx, etc... i can take most styles of music.

 
meddlin' kid 2008-08-05 02:03:22 AM  
Tanukis_Parachute: how sweet it is was my wife and i's song at our reception.

what, the wedding band couldn't handle "ace of spades?"

 
I Like Bread 2008-08-05 02:19:36 AM  
I think Metallica's "St. Anger" should get an honorable mention. They unquestionably rocked for their first few albums. Through the 90s, the quality of music declined a bit but was still better than average. They used up their mulligan on "Load".

Then comes their new album. The material is as fresh as it's been in 10 years. It's loud, rude and fast-- all the elements of a great metal album. By all accounts, it SHOULD rock. But some hidden (lack of) quality just leaves you blurting out a resounding 'meh'.

Paul McCartney's "Silly Love Songs" is a strong contender too.

 
Delawheredad 2008-08-05 02:26:01 AM  
My ex was a James Taylor groupie. I've heard his entire cannon more than I could ever want to and this guys selection is pretty spot on. Once upon a time James Taylor rocked, now he sounds like what he is a washed up hippie who is only in it for the bucks. He has tuned out a lot of cheese in the last few years but nothing is quite as tepid and boring as his version of this song.

 
roscotsmalls 2008-08-05 03:39:39 AM  
James Taylor music has always struck me as music by and for people who've never experienced a blow job

 
sonnyboy11 2008-08-05 03:43:57 AM  
Goddam his cover of Carole King's You've Got a Friend absolutely rules and absolves him of all else. Sorry haters.

 
Valdes 2008-08-05 04:09:47 AM  
James Taylor music has always struck me as music by and for people who've never experienced a blow job

Bea Arthur?

 
Forecaster18 2008-08-05 08:44:38 AM  
Fark TFA douche. Taylor is awesome.

James Taylor music has always struck me as music by and for people who've never experienced a blow job

*BZZZZT* I'm sorry, but we do have some lovely parting gifts for you.

 
Hempmonkey 2008-08-05 03:20:44 PM  
dugitman: *Reads criteria in TFA*

If Jimmy Buffet is in the Rock & Roll HOF then just throw a dart at his song catalog.


*Reads your FARK*

There is no person on the planet that has every recorded a song by the name of Jimmy Buffet.

 
dugitman [TotalFark] 2008-08-05 07:25:18 PM  
Hempmonkey: *Reads your FARK*

There is no person on the planet that has every recorded a song by the name of Jimmy Buffet.

Whatevery, dude.

 
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