To make it authentic, they should be hosed down with human waste as they enter the camp.

give me doughnuts: To make it authentic, they should be hosed down with human waste as they enter the camp.

They live in philly, that would be redunant.

Are they taught the fine art of shouting "Huzzah"?

how to be village trollop

Hey, don't forget bawdy serving wenches. The world is always short on those.

"I want you to paint your catapult! I want you to name your catapult! I want you to love your catapult!

I just can't avoid thinking about R.Lee Ermey.

We have found a witch. May we burn her?

All teens should be required to attend this sort of camp. It will be good training for what real life in America will be like after four years of an Obama presidency.

Weaver95: They live in philly, that would be redunant.

Burn!

I was at a medieval skirmish on Tuesday, and I'm getting a kick out of these replies:

Village trollop ? :


[/AW]

I think the last kid (who stayed underwater for the watermelon excercise) was the hero of the day! Bravo for the camp - staying just a step in front of the village idiots!

Wench: what one uses to turn the head of a dolt.



Hooray wenches!

FarkinNortherner: [/AW]

Ah, medieval chicks in scratchproof eyewear.

Authentic period scratchproof eyewear.

Gets me every time.

//authentic period how you doin

So, this one time, at medievil camp...

Here yah, here yah. The king has declared campers only get one squirt of the Ye Olde Frenches Musarday on their soft pretzelahs today.

Also, due to the smiting, the flagons have been replaced with Dixie Cups.

steveGswine: Ah, medieval chicks in scratchproof eyewear.

Next you'll be saying this isn't a real dragon:

FTA: "The first physical challenge of the tournament Tuesday was a favorite peasant past time called "grease the pig." To allay the concerns of modern day animal rights activists, the pig was replaced by a watermelon, which was covered in Crisco and thrown into a pool."

Our local county fair doesn't seem to be bothered with activists.

I learned how to properly use pliers, and a blowtorch there.

wait, so trollops are a bad thing?

Therion: Wench: what one uses to turn the head of a dolt.



Hooray wenches!

Besides, I thought wenching was the only job available to girls in olden times.

/not obscure
//hooray wenches again

nhkenn: wait, so trollops are a bad thing?

As far at the people who aren't getting any are concerned.

Marshall Banana: nhkenn: wait, so trollops are a bad thing?

As far at the people who aren't getting any are concerned.

the aint getting none crowd can suffer. its their own fault for not trying harder.

vossiewulf: Hey, don't forget bawdy serving wenches. The world is always short on those.

You mean like Melinda?

whatTherion: Wench: what one uses to turn the head of a dolt.



Hooray wenches!

peasant, do not let yourself forget that the average weight for wenches of the medieval variety is two hundred and fifty of the king's pounds.

vossiewulf: how to be village trollop

Hey, don't forget bawdy serving wenches. The world is always short on those.

Bawdy serving wenches, coming up!

dullspork: vossiewulf: how to be village trollop

Hey, don't forget bawdy serving wenches. The world is always short on those.

Bawdy serving wenches, coming up!

This thread need more of these.

mmmmmmm... bountiful.

I play one of the village trollops and I am getting a kick out.....you know.

dullspork: mmmmmmm... bountiful.





mmmmmmmm...hotlinked

dullspork: mmmmmmm... bountiful.

fat chicks...getting ugly guys laid since forever.

re-elect_jimmy_carter: dullspork: mmmmmmm... bountiful.

fat chicks...getting ugly guys laid since forever.

More your speed?

dullspork: re-elect_jimmy_carter: dullspork: mmmmmmm... bountiful.

fat chicks...getting ugly guys laid since forever.

More your speed?

a step in the right direction......i think....needs more boobies but she knows how to blow and that's a good start.

give me doughnuts: To make it authentic, they should be hosed down with human waste as they enter the camp.

Unless he's a king.

Ready...catapult.


/repeat
//repeat
///repeat

Whoops! Forgot the "fire"!

Well, at my age (the late middle age) there can be a few problems...

Bring out the relics of St. Aricept and St. Namenda!

two weeks of challenges based on, arguably, the bleakest period of human history.

Bullshiat. The Middle Ages were far from the mud-spattered dying-at-33-with-a-mouthful-of-black-teeth scenario. Child mortality was high (as it always has been in human history until the last few decades) but if you survived childhood you stood a good chance of living to old age. Most people ate a damn sight better than we do today and medieval doctors were highly skilled, with treatments we've lost today using herbs and fungi. I remember seeing a documentary once where they excavated a burial pit from a medieval battle in England and one guy had had his face literally smashed in at some point and then re-assembled with amazing skill by some surgeon. Also I remember reading that there was a law passed forbidding a master to feed his apprentices fresh salmon more than three times a week as they were sick of it, that's how well fed they were. The adult male skeletons show an average height of about 5' 8", which is almost the same size as modern men. Many were also hugely muscled like bodybuilders from practising the longbow. They had inalienable human rights too. No, things weren't so bad. I'd say the urban industrialised masses of the 19th and early 20th centuries had it far worse and lived much shorter and more miserable lives.

dullspork...


mmmmmmm... bountiful.

Yes; bountiful. I think I can count one person who is not overweight in that photo.

Please, for the full effect, someone insert "comic-book guy" into the shot.

thelordofcheese: Bryan Lavelle, 14, of Philadelphia seemed to have a natural talent for handling grease-covered fruit.

Thank you. Now I've got a link to Nambla in my browser cache.

Everytime I hear the word "trollop" I think of what John McCain called his wife.

Though, this is the only time i have ever heard that word in a different context.

"You know, medicine is not an exact science, but we are learning all the time. Why, just fifty years ago, they thought a disease like your daughter's was caused by demonic possession or witchcraft. But nowadays we know that Isabelle is suffering from an imbalance of bodily humors, perhaps caused by a toad or a small dwarf living in her stomach."

/drtfa

brap: Here yah, here yah. The king has declared campers only get one squirt of the Ye Olde Frenches Musarday on their soft pretzelahs today.

Also, due to the smiting, the flagons have been replaced with Dixie Cups.

Look like GLMF ...

/Spent yesterday cleaning flood mud out of my booth at the Ohio Ren Faire..

And PENNSIC is this week.

//Getting a kick .. blah blah

Teens attend medieval day camp to learn jousting, crafts, how to be village trollop prepare for a life of mostly not getting laid unless they consent to be in a "polyamorous relationship" in which the one chubby chick who will sleep with them still gets to keep banging all the other rejects she wants to fark too.

/Fixed That For Subby

technicolor-misfit: Teens attend medieval day camp to learn jousting, crafts, how to be village trollop prepare for a life of mostly not getting laid unless they consent to be in a "polyamorous relationship" in which the one chubby chick who will sleep with them still gets to keep banging all the other rejects she wants to fark too.

While I admit I have seen the exact thing of which you speak, it is not a frequent occurrence.

/7 Years into a monogamous relationship with someone I met at faire.

Salute thy breeches, knave!

/It's "I hope we never part"

nhkenn: wait, so trollops are a bad thing?

Tananda wants a word.

Shadow Blasko /Spent yesterday cleaning flood mud out of my booth at the Ohio Ren Faire..

And PENNSIC is this week.

//Getting a kick .. blah blah


You haven't lived until you've witnessed the Inwood Ren Faire (upper Manhattan neighb I lived back in the day) and had a Olde Tortae Cubanae.

nhkenn: wait, so trollops are a bad thing?

I like 'em. Get the big, fat ones, cut 'em in half, and pan sear with butter.

Oh, wait, those are scallops. Nevermind.

Oh, and something that struck me funny in the comments so far:

therhinodep: All teens should be required to attend this sort of camp. It will be good training for what real life in America will be like after four years of an Obama presidency.

Larofeticus: Everytime I hear the word "trollop" I think of what John McCain called his wife.

Nice to see equal representation of candidates here.

As long as they teach them how to cast lighting bolt to death metal background music.