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(Some Guy) Dumbass Man arrested for threating to attack a non-existent train platform. "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators   (nhatkyviet.com) divider line 59
More: Dumbass  

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SilentStrider [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 12:20:43 PM  
was it platform 9 3/4?

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 12:23:40 PM  
Oh 2chan...

 
SherKhan 2008-08-03 01:24:11 PM  
*keeps plans to foment violent revolution in Latveria a secret*

 
pnjunction [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-03 01:52:31 PM  
What a dumbass. If he really wanted to joke around, he shouldn't have used the name of a real station on a different line. Did he really think that just getting the line wrong would get him off the hook for saying something so stupid?

Did he really expect the cops to read that and go "LOL! Ueno station isn't even on the Saiyko Line! What a joker, he almost had us!"

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:08:27 PM  
"I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.

 
HappyDeth 2008-08-03 03:09:20 PM  
can someone post the article? farked for me.

 
Lt. Cheese Weasel 2008-08-03 03:09:47 PM  
Nice linky subhuman:

It seems your account is currently using too much CPU / Memory time. However, you still have access to:

o Webmail / Email
o cPanel Control Panel
o FTP access
o and other vital services...

Please note: that this page will be automatically removed as soon as the load decreases for your site.

 
E.S.Q. 2008-08-03 03:11:26 PM  
Farked already.

Can't decide: WEAK or LAME

 
Bzzliteyr 2008-08-03 03:14:34 PM  
farked..

"unmetered bandwidth" my ass!!

 
cuzsis 2008-08-03 03:14:46 PM  
SilentStrider: was it platform 9 3/4?

heh...

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-08-03 03:15:39 PM  
Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.


exactly, we live in a post 9/11 world where we have to make sure that a 9/11 style attack such as in the events of 9/11 cant occur.


/vote mccain

 
oldebayer [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:17:19 PM  
There go my plans to attack Ringworld.

 
Lt. Cheese Weasel 2008-08-03 03:19:06 PM  
No link = free thread!
img388.imageshack.us

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:22:53 PM  
Lt. Cheese Weasel: No link = free thread!

img91.imageshack.us

Ta da!

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:23:32 PM  
SilentStrider: was it platform 9 3/4?

1st thing I thought too.

 
pjc51 2008-08-03 03:24:37 PM  
SilentStrider: was it platform 9 3/4?

Well that actually exists:

upload.wikimedia.org

 
sonofASDF 2008-08-03 03:26:07 PM  
I have attacked the main platform of San Andreas several times.

 
Thakh 2008-08-03 03:29:32 PM  
HappyDeth: can someone post the article? farked for me.

Here's a mirror: Link (new window)

 
DZWalken 2008-08-03 03:31:45 PM  
It didn't workout so well for this guy either:

img115.imageshack.us

 
The_Pole_Of_Justice 2008-08-03 03:31:53 PM  
Uh, he threatened to attack Ueno on the Saikyo line?

Ueno's not on the Saikyo line, but it ain't far from it. It's retarded to think he'd get off just because the station didn't technically exist, but it's even further down the dumbass scale when the "other" line you use is so damned close.

/couldn't get to the article

 
DZWalken 2008-08-03 03:32:53 PM  
workout "work out"



/there we go

 
1000Monkeys 2008-08-03 03:33:15 PM  
TFA for those who can't see it:

Man arrested for threating to attack a non-existent train platform
Posted by Viet

This non-entertainment news, but such a stupid person deserves an exception:

A man has been arrested for posting a thread on 2-channel announcing his intent to murder people at a location in Tokyo, Japan, that does not actually exist:
"I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators.

Sakiyama posted a message on an online bulletin board on June 28, threatening to launch an indiscriminate attack at "Ueno Station on the Saikyo Line," local police said.

"I'll show you how to avoid being arrested after threatening to launch an attack," the message read. "At 9 p.m. today, I'll murder many people at Ueno Station on the Saikyo Line."

Ueno Station is real and so is the Saikyo line, but the Saikyo line does not actually pass through Ueno Station. Authorities had responded to the threat by having officers put on alert in areas of Ueno Station that actually exist.

Source: Mainichi (link no longer valid)

 
brantgoose 2008-08-03 03:38:03 PM  
All passengers departing for Cloud Cuckoo Land, Never Never Land, Wacky Land and Coo-ca-MUN-guh should now board on track 9.

Passengers for destination of Narnia, the Shire, Hy Brazil. Encino and Burbanks are now boarding on track 10.

Fruits, nuts and flakes heading towards Over the Rainbow, Erewhon, Jesus Land and Pasadena are informed that their train has been cancelled due to lack of interest.

Any place mentioned in a WB cartoon is as mythical as Brigadoon. And everything I learned about Coconino County I learned from Krazy Kat.

Never take a wrong turn in New Mexico (especially Albuquerque). You never know where you'll end up.

 
bearded clamorer 2008-08-03 03:39:59 PM  
Platform shoe bomber?

 
rangercheese 2008-08-03 03:41:55 PM  
Scary.

Could you imagine the carnage if a terrorist blew up Mornington Crescent?

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:42:52 PM  
looks like being stupid is now a crime

 
Fluid 2008-08-03 03:44:51 PM  
First thought:

img143.imageshack.us
img143.imageshack.us

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:45:54 PM  
Lt. Cheese Weasel: No link = free thread!

www.usbr.gov

 
Bucky Katt [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:49:36 PM  
Mentat: Lt. Cheese Weasel: No link = free thread!

Ta da!


subway.umka.org

 
HappyDeth 2008-08-03 03:51:06 PM  
Thakh: HappyDeth: can someone post the article? farked for me.

Here's a mirror: Link (new window)


+1 thanks!


/should have known
//at least it wasn't a rickroll

 
stiletto_the_wise 2008-08-03 03:56:39 PM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: exactly, we live in a post 9/11 world where we have to make sure that a 9/11 style attack such as in the events of 9/11 cant occur.

Please stop saying 9/11. It frightens me and makes me want to vote Republican and give police a blank check to "bust perps".

 
No Such Agency 2008-08-03 04:03:28 PM  
re-elect_jimmy_carter: exactly, we live in a post 9/11 world where we have to make sure that a 9/11 style attack such as in the events of 9/11 cant occur.

Who the fark let Giuliani in? Do we even HAVE bouncers?

 
nasor 2008-08-03 04:05:29 PM  
Lt. Cheese Weasel: Nice linky subhuman:

It seems your account is currently using too much CPU / Memory time. However, you still have access to:

o Webmail / Email
o cPanel Control Panel
o FTP access
o and other vital services...

Please note: that this page will be automatically removed as soon as the load decreases for your site.


The really funny thing is that right above the message saying that the page is farked, they claim to offer "unmetered bandwidth."

 
costas 2008-08-03 04:07:02 PM  
Bucky Katt: Mentat: Lt. Cheese Weasel: No link = free thread!

Ta da!


My favourite version.

Also: Is that an invitation to a game? If so, allow me to open with... Chancery Lane.

 
RadiantAerynSun 2008-08-03 04:11:13 PM  
What exactly is "threating"?

 
Gobobo 2008-08-03 04:22:43 PM  
pjc51: SilentStrider: was it platform 9 3/4?

Well that actually exists:


They've stuck half a baggage trolley there now for hilarious photo ops.

farm2.static.flickr.com

 
TheGreyPiper 2008-08-03 04:28:17 PM  
Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.


Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.


farm4.static.flickr.com

 
moothemagiccow 2008-08-03 04:31:03 PM  
pnjunction: What a dumbass. If he really wanted to joke around, he shouldn't have used the name of a real station on a different line. Did he really think that just getting the line wrong would get him off the hook for saying something so stupid?

Did he really expect the cops to read that and go "LOL! Ueno station isn't even on the Saiyko Line! What a joker, he almost had us!"


This

 
swahnhennessy 2008-08-03 04:32:03 PM  
Source: Mainichi (link no longer valid)

I'll wait until the thing has a source other than whatever it is the linked site is pretending at.

 
Poppa Boner [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 04:38:06 PM  
swahnhennessy: Source: Mainichi (link no longer valid)

I'll wait until the thing has a source other than whatever it is the linked site is pretending at.


Quoi?

 
pjc51 2008-08-03 04:39:16 PM  
Gobobo: pjc51: SilentStrider: was it platform 9 3/4?

Well that actually exists:

They've stuck half a baggage trolley there now for hilarious photo ops.


Yep - I do London to Cambridge on the train pretty often, so walk past that a fair amount :-)

 
ThatGuyOverThere 2008-08-03 04:47:38 PM  
nasor: The really funny thing is that right above the message saying that the page is farked, they claim to offer "unmetered bandwidth."

Bzzliteyr: "unmetered bandwidth" my ass!!

Read the message. The page wasn't farked due to excess bandwidth usage...

It seems your account is currently using too much CPU / Memory time.


Tricky bastards

 
blackomegax 2008-08-03 05:30:20 PM  
Isn't ueno station a major hub for a bunch of lines? Makes sense the guy could get confused

 
strothgar 2008-08-03 05:37:10 PM  
I'm planning on blowing up the spacebridge to Cybertron.

www.seibertron.com

Try to stop me Megatron!!

 
Gordon Bennett 2008-08-03 05:38:03 PM  
rangercheese: Scary.

Could you imagine the carnage if a terrorist blew up Mornington Crescent?


As I use that station on a daily basis, I would be quite upset. Or horribly injured, or perhaps dead.

So I would honestly prefer to not think about it.

 
ScubaDude1960 [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 05:43:49 PM  
Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.


Why would the Japanese have a pre-9/11 - post-9/11 difference in thinking? "That's pre-8/6 thinking" would be more appropriate.

 
DreamWeaver 2008-08-03 06:03:05 PM  
ScubaDude1960: Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.

Why would the Japanese have a pre-9/11 - post-9/11 difference in thinking? "That's pre-8/6 thinking" would be more appropriate.


Post 12/7 too!

 
The_Pole_Of_Justice 2008-08-03 06:06:35 PM  
ScubaDude1960: Mentat: "I didn't think threatening to attack a railway station that doesn't exist would constitute a crime," he was quoted as telling investigators"

That's pre-9/11 thinking.

Why would the Japanese have a pre-9/11 - post-9/11 difference in thinking? "That's pre-8/6 thinking" would be more appropriate.


Because if there's an excuse to be paranoid, or institute more rules, they're on it like a fat kid on a gravy donut.

Yes, they have beefed up security in the name of "fighting terrorism." Outside of signs all over the train stations, naturally, most of those measures are aimed at foreigners. Despite the fact that the only terrorist attack thus far was committed by natives.

 
zerkalo 2008-08-03 06:11:07 PM  
Prey on Obarian

 
WhatTheFoobies 2008-08-03 07:42:39 PM  
The_Pole_Of_Justice: Ueno's not on the Saikyo line, but it ain't far from it. It's retarded to think he'd get off just because the station didn't technically exist, but it's even further down the dumbass scale when the "other" line you use is so damned close.

When it's that close to reality, true. However, making a threat that isn't credible isn't illegal in most places. You're free to threaten to kill Donald Duck.

 
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