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(Fox News) Unlikely Could we be a heartbeat away from President Eric?   (elections.foxnews.com) divider line 49
More: Unlikely  
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49 Comments   (+0 »)


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Etchy333 [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 02:25:38 AM  
Ha! The contextual ads that popped up for me was for teeth whiteners and a service which turns your loved ones ashes into diamonds.

/poor McCain

 
DrowningLessons 2008-08-03 03:04:15 AM  
No. This presumes McCain is elected president.

 
Neurochemist 2008-08-03 03:14:25 AM  
Ouch Crist. You sucked this much dick and all you have to show for it is a presidential candidate who is starting to think Virginia is more in danger than Florida.

 
tallguywithglasseson [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:15:31 AM  
That's not the same Eric Cantor that has gay sex all over DC, is it?

 
No Catchy Nickname 2008-08-03 03:30:17 AM  
Cantor is the highest ranking Jewish Republican in Congress, and his addition to the ticket is seen by Republicans as a pathway to Jewish support in Florida and a way to secure Virginia for McCain.

I never knew Florida was a hotbed of politically wavering Jews. From my time on Fark I just thought it was where the other 49 states send their loonies.

 
Seth_The_Wide [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 03:59:52 AM  
Could we be a heartbeat away from President Eric?

Eric Cartman? Sweeeeet.

 
Son of Thunder 2008-08-03 06:22:32 AM  
For some reason, "pathway to Jewish support" makes me laugh.

 
Occam's Chainsaw [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 06:23:05 AM  
No Catchy Nickname: Cantor is the highest ranking Jewish Republican in Congress, and his addition to the ticket is seen by Republicans as a pathway to Jewish support in Florida and a way to secure Virginia for McCain.

I never knew Florida was a hotbed of politically wavering Jews. From my time on Fark I just thought it was where the other 49 states send their loonies.


...where they all become crazier, stupider, more senile, or a combination thereof, and then leave again to invade the remainder of the southeast.

Florida: Anyone should be able to get in, but you should need a farking test to be allowed to leave.

 
CanisNoir [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 06:46:00 AM  
Am I the only one troubled by the description in the artcle of the Multi-layered Chess Game going on between the campaigns. I mean I knew TV was somewhat a downfall for Politics, but really, when the Campaigns are competeing in what they consider a "Sporting event" it just kind of screams "Underlying Problem" to me.

I was actually thinking about this the other day; we tend to base our votes on who campaigns the best, which is why raising money is so important for winning. Campaigning appears to be about pandering and political manuvering more than it does with coming up with actual "Good ideas" that might work.

I don't know, it just bothers me that it's become such a "spectator sport" and we're more concerned with who can pander, lie and bs the smoothest and look best doing it.

Hell, I'd almost vote for McCain on the simple principle that he's such a horrible campaigner that I know he couldn't get away with any big lies, he's not "smoothe" enough. (I said "almost" damnit)

I dunno, just an observation.

 
FishyFred [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 07:24:12 AM  
CanisNoir: Hell, I'd almost vote for McCain on the simple principle that he's such a horrible campaigner that I know he couldn't get away with any big lies, he's not "smoothe" enough. (I said "almost" damnit)

"No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people." - H.L. Mencken (allegedly)

And no one ever lost an election doing that either. And we know Al Gore went just a tad over many Americans' heads in 2000 and it may have cost him the election (even screw-proofing him in Florida).

 
mesohorny 2008-08-03 07:24:46 AM  
Son of Thunder: For some reason, "pathway to Jewish support" makes me laugh.

Hey that was Anti-Semitic!! You cant say the J word unless its used next to a positive word.

Example

Jim is dating a jewish girl
Jim is dating a lovely jewish girl

 
Historyteller 2008-08-03 07:28:21 AM  
CanisNoir: snip ...
Hell, I'd almost vote for McCain on the simple principle that he's such a horrible campaigner that I know he couldn't get away with any big lies, he's not "smoothe" enough. (I said "almost" damnit)

I dunno, just an observation.


Since you've been a hardcore Righty every time this campaign is mentioned, I doubt your sincerity here.

 
CanisNoir [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 07:42:16 AM  
Historyteller: Since you've been a hardcore Righty every time this campaign is mentioned, I doubt your sincerity here.

The problem is, it's not that I've been a "Hard Core Righty" it's that most of the things we discuss are on the right. I'm either put in a position of Defending McCain because I've pointed something bad out about Obama, or it's the Iraq War; those, drilling and economics I do tend to lean right. Drug legalization, States ability to decide abortion rules and a few other things I tend to lean left.

In all honesty I was rooting for Thompsan and McCain hasn't impressed me all that much; I think he's far better than Obama, but that doesn't mean he gets my vote. I'm torn right now between McCain, Barr or just plain sitting it out.

 
Rodeodoc 2008-08-03 08:15:44 AM  
So it's going to be Jews against the Muslim?

 
moothemagiccow 2008-08-03 08:17:59 AM  
Neurochemist: Ouch Crist. You sucked this much dick and all you have to show for it is a presidential candidate who is starting to think Virginia is more in danger than Florida.

The sad part is that Virginia has only 13 (!) electoral votes. Crist would at least help with Florida's 27

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 08:22:59 AM  
So Crist got married for nothing? I guess you can shave the beard now, Charlie.

 
rynthetyn 2008-08-03 08:43:06 AM  
No Catchy Nickname: Cantor is the highest ranking Jewish Republican in Congress, and his addition to the ticket is seen by Republicans as a pathway to Jewish support in Florida and a way to secure Virginia for McCain.

I never knew Florida was a hotbed of politically wavering Jews. From my time on Fark I just thought it was where the other 49 states send their loonies.


You don't want them all voting for Pat Buchanan again, now do you?

 
FlashHarry [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 09:06:31 AM  
what will the already wavering christian right say if mccain selects teh joo for his running mate? i mean, he's not a mormon at least - but his people did kill christ!

 
GodsTumor 2008-08-03 09:23:19 AM  
Cantor...didn't he star in that Nerd movie?

img114.imageshack.us


img387.imageshack.us

 
ChuckyV [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 10:13:05 AM  
Seth_The_Wide: Could we be a heartbeat away from President Eric?

Eric Cartman? Sweeeeet.


You Will Respect His Authoritah!!!

 
atlanta_ufo 2008-08-03 10:38:47 AM  
Upon hearing that Mccain is considering Cantor, Cynthia McKinney's father was heard saying "Jews have bought everybody ... J-E-W-S"

 
GriffinHousePuppet 2008-08-03 11:05:23 AM  
Eric Matthews?

users.1st.net

Awesome

/Feenah Feenah Feheeheeheeheenah

 
HighOnCraic 2008-08-03 11:44:57 AM  
"His longtime advocacy for business and corporate interests in the General Assembly earned Cantor the derisive nickname "Overdog" from Democrats in Richmond."

"Can you see if they have any scars? Overdog is put off by scars. . ."

 
Hagbardr [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 11:58:50 AM  
Lieberman really helped Gore to win.

 
ABQGOD 2008-08-03 12:04:21 PM  
Hell no, I ain't raising any flipper cabinet members.

 
lilbjorn 2008-08-03 12:05:25 PM  
Well, that would be another stolen election and a heartbeat.

 
ManRay [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 12:16:37 PM  
CanisNoir: Campaigning appears to be about pandering and political manuvering more than it does with coming up with actual "Good ideas" that might work.

I agree. I am very disappointed when I ask someone how they think their candidate is actually going to "make the country better". Sure, they know their candidate is for putting some program or policy in place, but it seems they have given very little thought to what that actually means for it to get done. They are all caught up in the campaigning and the game without much thought to anything after that.

 
3_Butt_Cheeks 2008-08-03 12:16:43 PM  
Mugato: So Crist got married for nothing? I guess you can shave the beard now, Charlie.

Perpetuating the pathetic meme that Crist is gay? Classy.

Neurochemist: Ouch Crist. You sucked this much dick and all you have to show for it is a presidential candidate who is starting to think Virginia is more in danger than Florida.

Perpetuating the lie AND adding some derogatory remarks. EXTRA Classy.

Keep it up.

 
swrlyhrly 2008-08-03 12:18:46 PM  
My name is Eric so im...

 
nucal 2008-08-03 12:32:59 PM  
From Wikipedia:

"In the 2002 election, Cantor defeated Democratic opponent Ben "Cooter" Jones, who starred on the popular TV series The Dukes of Hazzard."

Any Jew-boy who could outsmart Cooter is the right man for the ticket ...

 
Antidamascus 2008-08-03 12:54:17 PM  
www.emotioneric.com

Eric?

 
Jackpot777 [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-08-03 01:05:29 PM  
Mugato: So Crist got married for nothing? I guess you can shave the beard now, Charlie.

i301.photobucket.com

/Stolen, and why not?

 
rocker5969 2008-08-03 01:20:51 PM  
bp0.blogger.com

sorry, but Eric's already got responsibilities.

 
No Catchy Nickname 2008-08-03 01:28:59 PM  
rynthetyn
You don't want them all voting for Pat Buchanan again, now do you?

I don't wan them voting at all.
Loonies!!

 
KramericaWallet 2008-08-03 02:05:57 PM  
The only Eric I'd vote for:
onemonkey.org

 
Call_me_Madame 2008-08-03 02:39:57 PM  
Hmmm...since he's my Congressman, I am torn. On the one hand, TAKE HIM, PLEASE, so maybe we can get someone in there who, you know, gives a damn about central VA. On the other hand, if Obama manages to snag defeat out of the jaws of victory, Cantor will be more than eager to sing harmony on McCain's little "bomb bomb bomb Iran" ditty.

 
Snarfangel [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 02:50:23 PM  
Neurochemist: Ouch Crist. You sucked this much dick and all you have to show for it is a presidential candidate who is starting to think Virginia is more in danger than Florida.

Maybe it was a labor of love.

 
runningwiz 2008-08-03 02:53:35 PM  
Now this November, American bigots may have a choice -- Not vote for a Black for President or not vote for a Jew for Vice-President.

 
fireballmage 2008-08-03 03:46:23 PM  
Cantor's my Congressman, too, and he's borderline worthless as a representative. I'm suprised he's being considered, though, because his brother is in-and-out of court over his crooked construction business.

 
picturescrazy 2008-08-03 03:55:42 PM  
swrlyhrly: My name is Eric so im...

As a fellow Eric, I can say that I hope not. I do not wish the responsibilities of office. That quality, of course, may lead some to believe that I'd be the best president. I tell you, this is not true. I would largely ignore my duties to read, play video games, eat good foods, and play pranks on the American public while live on television.

Every station would have a live feed of me, and I would say "My fellow Americans, there is a grave problem facing our country, and I need your help. You see..... There's a skeeter on my peter whack it off. There's a skeeter on my peter whack it off. There's a skeeter on my peter, there's a skeeter on my peter, there's a skeeter on my peter, whack it off."



Many would say I'd still make a better president than Bush.

 
Neurochemist 2008-08-03 05:24:49 PM  
3_Butt_Cheeks: Perpetuating the lie AND adding some derogatory remarks. EXTRA Classy.

"the lie"

You can't hide the genetic markers. Science has proven it is not a "choice". He may have never touched another guy during his entire life, but without a doubt, he has some distinctly "gay" genetic traits.

 
Danimal79 2008-08-03 06:37:00 PM  
I'm Jewish and a Floridian, and I WILL NOT vote for Bush Jr aka McCain. I s'pose they never really thought the fact through that most Jews are very very liberal and usually a little bit smarter than to fall for some stupid move like putting a Jew as a VP. Only thing that'll happen is he'll be kicked out of the Jewish religion...

 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] 2008-08-03 06:37:29 PM  
I'd think McCain's people would check airport restroom walls for Eric's name, phone number.

/Just to be sure.

 
Hector Remarkable 2008-08-03 07:44:59 PM  
Neurochemist: 3_Butt_Cheeks: Perpetuating the lie AND adding some derogatory remarks. EXTRA Classy.

"the lie"

You can't hide the genetic markers. Science has proven it is not a "choice". He may have never touched another guy during his entire life, but without a doubt, he has some distinctly "gay" genetic traits.


Like his mangina.

 
TheBaldOneMpls 2008-08-03 07:47:26 PM  
My gut still says Pawlenty. I think doing so would put Minnesota back in play, obviously. But alot of people from Iowa and Wisconsin come to MN to hunt, and they don't hate him too much. That's 27 EV's that could be back on the table, and that's nothing to sneeze at.

/Not too much hate for Timmy in Minny
//Those that do hate him aren't going for McCain anyways

 
Saiga410 2008-08-03 08:07:50 PM  
img514.imageshack.us
img514.imageshack.us

???

 
ksdanj [TotalFark] 2008-08-04 02:43:20 AM  
A broken hip away from the presidency is the more likely scenario.

 
excusemesenator 2008-08-04 08:33:40 AM  
img366.imageshack.us

img403.imageshack.us


Has experience managing massive tantrums, so he should work out great.

 
djslowdive 2008-08-04 02:22:59 PM  
As an Eric, I know that I could do a much better job than our current president. I'm ready for this responsibility.

 
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