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(Rolling Stone) Amusing Stones sign new record deal. Rider calls for them to be fed their dinner promptly at 4:30 p.m., with corn carefully removed from cob   (rollingstone.com) divider line 63
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mysticcat [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 11:32:19 AM  
Dear Mick and Keith,

As a huge fan of your music I must say: Please Stop! By continuing to shuffle around on stage proffering a pale imitation of your past, you dishonor your legacy. Your work from Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main St. is one of the greatest 5 album stretches of any band in the last 50 years. You don't need to prove anything to anybody.

You will never recapture the glory of your youth. Let us remember you the way you were, not as you are now.

 
Crown_of_Shoes 2008-07-28 12:41:14 PM  
I never understood the popularity of these hacks.

 
Shostie [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 12:41:29 PM  
I wonder when the next farewell tour will be, and how long after that for the reunion tour.

 
Mangoose 2008-07-28 12:41:36 PM  
Oh goodie. Just what the musical world needed.

 
CelebrityPharmacist [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-28 12:41:40 PM  
Long term deal??

 
tothekor 2008-07-28 12:42:37 PM  
mysticcat: Dear Mick and Keith,

As a huge fan of your music I must say: Please Stop! By continuing to shuffle around on stage proffering a pale imitation of your past, you dishonor your legacy. Your work from Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main St. is one of the greatest 5 album stretches of any band in the last 50 years. You don't need to prove anything to anybody.

You will never recapture the glory of your youth. Let us remember you the way you were, not as you are now.


Yea, but how else will they make their money? Their drug dealers require cash payments for every hit. Fortunes disappear fast that way.

 
CelebrityPharmacist [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-28 12:42:41 PM  
Shostie: I wonder when the next farewell tour will be, and how long after that for the reunion tour.

About the same time as the next Brett Farve retirement

 
rbuzby 2008-07-28 12:45:15 PM  
Greed is what keeps the stones going.

When they allowed Microsoft to use "Start Me Up" they actually gave MS a version of the song with a replacement track instead of one of the original bass or drum tracks (I cant remember which) so they would not have to give part of the money to one of their erstwhile band members!

This was in the 90's! Still greedy despite hundreds of millions already made and spent. Amazing.

 
Xerxes99 2008-07-28 12:45:52 PM  
Section 3 Subsection B Line 5 states: Feeding tubes and colostomy bags are to be changed at the quarter hour when not on stage.

 
nosferatublue 2008-07-28 12:46:03 PM  
mysticcat: Dear Mick and Keith,

As a huge fan of your music I must say: Please Stop! By continuing to shuffle around on stage proffering a pale imitation of your past, you dishonor your legacy. Your work from Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main St. is one of the greatest 5 album stretches of any band in the last 50 years. You don't need to prove anything to anybody.

You will never recapture the glory of your youth. Let us remember you the way you were, not as you are now.



Dear Mysticcat:

Maybe we still like to crank out our tunes to thousands of screaming fans. Ever sung "Honky Tonk Woman" to a stadium filled to max capacity? Ever sold out a gig? I didn't think so.

Cheers,

Mick and Keith

/yeah, not really Mick and Keith, but if you really want an answer from them you wouldn't have posted it to Fark

 
Harry Freakstorm 2008-07-28 12:49:57 PM  
The Steel Wheelchair Tour

 
ScottMpls 2008-07-28 12:51:41 PM  
I saw the Stones in Vegas a couple of years ago. From the neck down, they were pretty cut like lightweight boxers. From the neck up ... well, we've all seen Keith Richards.

/great show
//but wish they would just retire gracefully

 
kjwulff 2008-07-28 12:52:24 PM  
Rock on.

I go to see Rush every time they're in town. We have this game before the show of seeing how many grey-haired dudes sporting ponytails we can count.

Old rockers never fade away, they just die from overdoses and plane crashes.

Peace.

 
John the Magnificent 2008-07-28 12:54:44 PM  
Why Amusing tag?

Sad, Pathetic, Incredible or even Florida maybe, but why Amusing?

Unless Subby was amused by his own headline?

 
dothemath 2008-07-28 12:55:08 PM  
I went to the Houston show on their last tour and, honestly, it was one of the best I have ever seen. Their playing was tight and the sound system was excellent. Mick left the stage when Keith did 'Happy' and 'Lets Spend the Night Together' had the place going nuts. Truly great night, suck a dick subby.

 
jj325 [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 12:58:59 PM  
As long as they want to keep going on stage, and people are willing to pay money to see that, what's the harm? Last time I saw them live was Voodoo Lounge Tour---since then they have been priced too high for my taste.

/Love the Stones
//Not 300.00 good seat love

 
kjwulff 2008-07-28 01:00:13 PM  
ScottMpls: I saw the Stones in Vegas a couple of years ago. From the neck down, they were pretty cut like lightweight boxers. From the neck up ... well, we've all seen Keith Richards.

/great show
//but wish they would just retire gracefully


I saw them in St. Louis a few years ago. Great show. Apparently you saw a great show in Vegas, too. So why should they "retire gracefully" then? Isn't "retire gracefully" just a coded way of saying "old people get out of the way because...because...because you're, like, old and stuff...". That, IMHO, is just dumb. Maybe it's because I'm 40 (married w/ three kids) and I still crank the radio in my car when a good song comes on (old stuff or new stuff). Am I wrong? Should I just "retire gracefully" from listening to the music I like?

I'm not picking on you...I just picked your post as a representative example of lots of posts expressing the same sentiment.

You will be old someday, too. ; )

 
NimbleWalrus 2008-07-28 01:00:26 PM  
They're old! Get it?

 
davynelson 2008-07-28 01:00:29 PM  
some of you idiots have it wrong, like mysticcat -

their shows remain terrific, and you might notice that nobody tells the old bluesmen when to farking retire...

it must be something about the nature of 'popular' music that causes people to decry anybody over 30 picking up a guitar.


the PROBLEM is that the Stone's new albums are probably all going to suck, and Universal are idiots for signing a "long term" contract with a band that's almost dead.

The day YOU can get on stage and rock a show like the Stones do now, please send me a ticket.

 
JonnyBGoode 2008-07-28 01:01:17 PM  
Braaaaaiiiiiiiiiinnnsssssssssssssss!!!

 
Phil Herup 2008-07-28 01:04:49 PM  
Here is a blast from the past.

Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker) (pops)


I think this was the best era of The Stones.

Mick Taylor on lead guitar.

 
TehBoognish 2008-07-28 01:07:39 PM  
This is the industry that is losing millions to file sharing?

I think there might be other factors involved in the decreasing profits over at UMG. How on gods green earth is this a good idea?

on the other hand...

I bet they sell millions. Not to mention maybe they have stumbled onto something here. If the "artists" suck enough they will remain profitable because nobody will steal their music.

/cue brilliant guy

and for the record,
the stones suck. They have sucked since the voodoo lounge tour.
Grace slick said something about how old people shouldn't be on stage and i gotta say it applies to these guys 100%. There is no reason this geezer parade should go on except people keep paying to see them! I hate you all.

 
The Dynamite Monkey 2008-07-28 01:10:24 PM  
Phil Herup: I think this was the best era of The Stones.

Mick Taylor on lead guitar.


Great player and the best musician ever in the band. I agree the records with Taylor are their pinnacle.

 
I drunk what 2008-07-28 01:12:22 PM  
first this then i saw a 70 year old lawyer in a commercial

not to mention that we have 10-15 "retired" people still working in our office???

/why won't old people retire?
//is it the economy?

 
Surool [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 01:17:14 PM  
I don't like the creamed corn they usually serve at movie theaters. It's too crunchy.

 
re-elect_jimmy_carter 2008-07-28 01:18:59 PM  
www.fairmont.org

 
Trance750 [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 01:23:36 PM  
mysticcat: Dear Mick and Keith,

As a huge fan of your music I must say: Please Stop! By continuing to shuffle around on stage proffering a pale imitation of your past, you dishonor your legacy. Your work from Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main St. is one of the greatest 5 album stretches of any band in the last 50 years. You don't need to prove anything to anybody.

You will never recapture the glory of your youth. Let us remember you the way you were, not as you are now.



C'mon. Yes they may be old, but their not the only group trying to recapture past glory.

My God, Davy Jones of the Monkees fame is still touring.

 
mcongraff 2008-07-28 01:24:53 PM  
To the haters: people age, get used to it! If the Stones want to tour and people want see 'em, so be it. I saw Link Wray when he was near 80 and the man still rocked! You gonna tell Lemmy he has to retire?!

 
D'Annunzio 2008-07-28 01:29:06 PM  
Trance750: My God, Davy Jones of the Monkees fame is still touring.

He has to in order to pay off his fines from the DUI.

 
farkplug 2008-07-28 01:40:41 PM  
Nice of them to remove their catheters from their papilloma ridden, shrivelled dicks just long enough for them to swagger them around on stage again, like the good old days. Rock on!

/guitar strap? not for me, I can balance my guitar on my dick!

 
dittybopper [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-28 01:41:47 PM  
Stones sign new record deal. Rider calls for them to be fed their dinner promptly at 4:30 pm, with corn groupies carefully removed from cob

FTFYS

 
Goofball_Jones 2008-07-28 01:45:22 PM  
mysticcat: Dear Mick and Keith,

As a huge fan of your music I must say: Please Stop! By continuing to shuffle around on stage proffering a pale imitation of your past, you dishonor your legacy. Your work from Beggars Banquet through Exile on Main St. is one of the greatest 5 album stretches of any band in the last 50 years. You don't need to prove anything to anybody.

You will never recapture the glory of your youth. Let us remember you the way you were, not as you are now.


Why is it that people that did rock music can't continue to do it into their old age, yet blues artists, jazz artists and others can continue til they die and they all have followings and are still critically acclaimed etc etc. Look at Rush, they're old now...yet they just put out and excellent new album last year with "Snakes & Arrows". Oh, and seemed a couple of people were willing to give up their left testicles to go see the Led Zeppelin show last year. But no, they should just stop because they "dishonor their legacy".

If you don't want to see the Stones, don't go see them. Plain and simple. But why would you want me to not see them if I wanted to.

/I honestly don't want to see them, but don't you DARE tell me what I can and can't do. biatches.

 
discost00 2008-07-28 01:46:45 PM  
Why would they eat the cob with the corn removed? That's the best bit!

 
degreeless 2008-07-28 01:46:52 PM  
/brains

 
GurneyHalleck [TotalFark] 2008-07-28 02:00:06 PM  
kjwulff: Rock on.

I go to see Rush every time they're in town. We have this game before the show of seeing how many grey-haired dudes sporting ponytails we can count.

Old rockers never fade away, they just die from overdoses and plane crashes.

Peace.


I go to see Rush every time too. They're one of my favorite bands of all time, but I think they're starting to enter the same zone that the Stones have been in for years. Snakes & Arrows is even worse than Test for Echo, and Neil didn't even bother with half of the fills on half of the songs they played last time I saw them. I'd rather see the boys hang it up than for them to keep going like the Stones. Go out with some dignity.

\has a pony tail, but it's not gray.

 
Pentaxian 2008-07-28 02:01:04 PM  
TehBoognish: This is the industry that is losing millions to file sharing?

I think there might be other factors involved in the decreasing profits over at UMG. How on gods green earth is this a good idea?
.


Universal get the rights to everything after Sticky Fingers, which would include "Exile on Main Street". Also digital rights to all of their music as well.

 
SlayerScott 2008-07-28 02:03:53 PM  
I'm 28 - I missed my chance to see the Stones in their prime. I've seen them 2 or 3 times since and had a great time. Why should I miss out because we weren't born in the same year? Goes double for ACDC who easily play with more skill, energy and presence than 95% of bands their junior. Slayer too. Am I supposed to go see emo bands instead of classic rock because they're in their prime? There's something to be said for quality of music!!

 
Sefton 2008-07-28 02:08:49 PM  
HEY (hey)
YOU (you)
GET OFF A MY LAWN!

 
The Great Gazoo 2008-07-28 02:12:08 PM  
It's better to burn out than fade away.

 
Chester J. Lampwick 2008-07-28 02:13:27 PM  
I have no problem with the Stones touring, but it's been awhile since any new material of theirs was any good.

I have not seen a Stones show, and I'd love to, but from recordings and TV clips, they appear to speed through their tunes as fast as possible. I love new arrangements of songs when bands play live, but why race as fast as you can to finish?

The reason people got excited about Plant, Page, and Co. this year was the possibility of them playing their standards together for the first time in a long time. I never heard anyone say, "I can't wait for new Led Zeppelin material!"

 
ScottMpls 2008-07-28 02:24:38 PM  
kjwulff: ScottMpls: I saw the Stones in Vegas a couple of years ago. From the neck down, they were pretty cut like lightweight boxers. From the neck up ... well, we've all seen Keith Richards.

/great show
//but wish they would just retire gracefully

I saw them in St. Louis a few years ago. Great show. Apparently you saw a great show in Vegas, too. So why should they "retire gracefully" then? Isn't "retire gracefully" just a coded way of saying "old people get out of the way because...because...because you're, like, old and stuff...". That, IMHO, is just dumb. Maybe it's because I'm 40 (married w/ three kids) and I still crank the radio in my car when a good song comes on (old stuff or new stuff). Am I wrong? Should I just "retire gracefully" from listening to the music I like?

I'm not picking on you...I just picked your post as a representative example of lots of posts expressing the same sentiment.

You will be old someday, too. ; )


Heh. I'm older than you, but not married and no kids. I prefer the older stuff when they weren't trying too hard to stay relevant. It's sort of like seeing your favorite player schlep from team to team because they have nothing else going for them.

/now if you'll excuse me, I've got the The Cramps' "Look Ma! No Head!" coming up in the iPod
//off my lawn! :-)

 
Strobeguy 2008-07-28 02:25:56 PM  
Won't someone think of the corn??????

 
danlpoon 2008-07-28 02:27:29 PM  
What has eleven arms and can't spell?

Def Leppard.

 
gretzkyscores 2008-07-28 02:37:49 PM  
GurneyHalleck: I go to see Rush every time too. They're one of my favorite bands of all time, but I think they're starting to enter the same zone that the Stones have been in for years. Snakes & Arrows is even worse than Test for Echo

Are you sure you went to see the same band that I did? Saw Rush at Summerfest last month. Alex is in wayyyyy better shape than Keith Richards, and Geddy was still hopping around the stage like he was 30 years old. I bet Rush could play at 80 years old and not be in as bad of shape as the Stones are at 60-ish, mostly owing to the fact that they never abused themselves silly with coke and smack habits.

Oh, and SnA is much better than TFE. Not sure what you're listening to. ;-)

 
malibupetey 2008-07-28 02:55:54 PM  
Don't wish your entertainers away, once these guys are gone..along with Aerosmith, David Bowie and Pink Floyd, there's nothing left.

 
StillH2O 2008-07-28 03:05:57 PM  
danlpoon: What has eleven arms and can't spell?

Def Leppard.


Wouldn't that be 9 arms? Or have they added a 6th person since the 80's?

 
Senor Awesome 2008-07-28 03:14:53 PM  
At least when the Sex Pistols did their reunion tour they were honest that they were just shilling for the cash.

 
merkinmuncher 2008-07-28 03:31:57 PM  
Most jazz and blues artists still get respect in their age compared to the Rolling Stones because they actually had talent in the 1st place, and still do.
When overrated bands like the Rolling Stones do well for so many years, they think the sounds of their farts is art.
I guess they're are one or two ok stones songs, but they really aren't that good of musicians and Mick Jagger has a really annoying voice.
Most ppl would rather here a british white interpretation of blues style, or would buy a blues album if Keith Richards guested on it, over trying to search for rarer, artistic music. Same reason ppl go to the mall, chain restaurants, and watch American Idol. It's shoved down their throats and they dont' have to look for it on their own.

 
SkunkWorx 2008-07-28 03:39:24 PM  
Anybody who thinks the Rolling Stones are still in the game just for the money, I've got news for you:

The Rolling Stones were always in it for the money! It just so happens they were also damn good at it. And in my humble opinion, they still are.

You can cry "Sell out!" "Old!" and "Greedy" all you want, but the fact is the Stones are simply doing what they've been doing since the beginning: trying to make a buck, and cranking out some good music to do it.

A Bigger Bang garnered some very good reviews.

 
peewinkle 2008-07-28 03:43:26 PM  
mcongraff: To the haters: people age, get used to it! If the Stones want to tour and people want see 'em, so be it. I saw Link Wray when he was near 80 and the man still rocked! You gonna tell Lemmy he has to retire?!

this.

 
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