There do exist 150 mpg cars already, they're just not very practical.

Houston eh?

Oh? Then I'll make it TWO billion.

He's offering $10 a year for the next 100 million years.

Texas would have its' own tag on Fark if there were enough literate people living there to write stories about the retarded shiat that goes on there.

Nakito: Oh? Then I'll make it TWO billion.

Hell, I'll throw a billion in too

/THAT'S 3 BILLION DOLLARS!!
//Seriously though, I'll throw a hundred bucks down or something

The government already has the cures/cars... they just give them to the public.

/foil hat

One is inclined to believe that any of those things will make you a billionaire even without his help.

Does he have a mansion and a yacht?

Whoreable: Texas would have its' own tag on Fark if there were enough literate people living there to write stories about the retarded shiat that goes on there.

I can safely say that Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, and Austin all kick the crap out of Miami in terms of being badass cities.

Where is Gomez Addams when you need him?

/hot

TheOnion: There do exist 150 mpg cars already, they're just not very practical.

They're not 150 mpg cars when you factor in the fuel used to generate the electricity for the "plug in" part.

FTFA: Dewey said he's in the process of assembling panels of experts to judge whether a cure or solution to one of his stated issues has been achieved.

Great. Get the panel together, post the success criteria. If I think it is aggressive enough I'll pledge a couple grand.

/Save the Boobies

Raising money for cures is great.... Raising money for cures only because your family is involved, still great but very selfish. Why do people do that only when someone they know is involved?

FTA
Dewey said he's in the process of assembling panels of experts to judge whether a cure or solution to one of his stated issues has been achieved.

Sir I have been studying boobies for more than 30 years, I shall be your expert.

I'd buy that for a dollar!

IonBeam2: TheOnion: There do exist 150 mpg cars already, they're just not very practical.

They're not 150 mpg cars when you factor in the fuel used to generate the electricity for the "plug in" part.

The electric buses in San Francisco have a banner on the back that says "Emission Free Vehicle". Well ok, strictly speaking true at this moment, but not true factoring in the natural gas/coal fired plant that produced the electicity.

I'd donate to this guy too, after he finds a cure.

clancifer: Austin man offers $1 billion for breast cancer cure

The headline says Austin, the dateline Dallas and its in a Houston paper.

Lets just say Texan.

Isn't it illegal to offer a reward for assassinating the President?

baercat: The government already has the cures/cars... they just give them to the public.

They do? Where?

FeBolas: I can safely say that Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, and Austin all kick the crap out of Miami in terms of being badass cities

Generally I agree, but you have to add the caveat that no one without gills can breath in Houston.

Seriously? He thinks the reason there's no cure yet is that no one has thrown a billion dollars at the problem? Wow. That's some fine thinkin' right there.

I know how to make a car that gets over 500 mpg.

Granted, it is per gallon of uranium/nitric acid solution.

Churchill2004: FeBolas: I can safely say that Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, and Austin all kick the crap out of Miami in terms of being badass cities

Generally I agree, but you have to add the caveat that no one without gills can breath in Houston.

Dallas and Houston suck donkey balls. Suckiest cities in the country. Way to zone dumbasses.

Caxap_artist: Raising money for cures is great.... Raising money for cures only because your family is involved, still great but very selfish. Why do people do that only when someone they know is involved?

Because generally speaking most folks aren't impassioned by S.E.P.s

Also, I'll offer a reward of one hundred billion dollars to anyone who can get me some sharks with frikkin' laser beams attached to their skulls.

/ill-tempered mutant sea bass will do.

The only good thing about TX are hot biatches, like Jessica Simpson.

PascalsGhost: Dallas and Houston suck donkey balls. Suckiest cities in the country. Way to zone dumbasses

Houston doesn't have any zoning laws. The largest city in the country without them, if I recall correctly.

TFA: ...[Dewey] says he'd retain the intellectual rights to the cure but put it into the public domain for free.

I think the author is unclear on the concept of what "public domain" means.

Of course the Houston man doesnt have the money, its Austin man the one with the billion dollars

++Railroad is the answer for America's emissions problem.

As if I wouldn't make a billion dollars inventing/discovering any of those.

Cyborg77: Isn't it illegal to offer a reward for assassinating the President?

you dont offer as a reward, you pledge it as a "donation"

IonBeam2: They're not 150 mpg cars when you factor in the fuel used to generate the electricity for the "plug in" part.

There are other ways to get impractical, 150 mpg cars you know. Here's one from VW, which that article claims gets 235 mpg.

Next weeks headline:

Scientist cures breast cancer; anticipates the value of the discovery to be about 1.7 quadrillion dollars. Gets offer from man for the cure for $5 million dollars and a promise to "get another 995 million" in under 10 years.

Fark: He doesn't have a billion dollars

That's the joke, FLUBBY

I'm pretty sure the patent system would get whoever could do any of those things a billion dollars without this nutball getting involved.

cure for breast cancer

this guy is a breast man

Nakito: Oh? Then I'll make it TWO billion.

I'll toss in a couple Brazillion dollahs.

evaned: IonBeam2: They're not 150 mpg cars when you factor in the fuel used to generate the electricity for the "plug in" part.

There are other ways to get impractical, 150 mpg cars you know. Here's one from VW, which that article claims gets 235 mpg.

I am one liter, so I am getting a kick out of your reply.

TheOnion 2008-07-27 07:24:45 PM There do exist 150 mpg cars already, they're just not very practical.
============

They're prototypes. Nothing in production yet though. Loremo is scheduled to go on production next year and it's 120mpg. (Germany, mind you).

In the U.S. they're still offering the X prize to someone who can develop a 100mpg car. So, uh, we're kinda behind. As expected.

I will give $1B to anyone who can prove they were taken aboard an alien space craft.

/anal probe proof required
//I don't have $1B

If anyone actually did solve any of those problems, they would be dead within a day and all their research would be "lost in a fire".

jake3988: TheOnion 2008-07-27 07:24:45 PM There do exist 150 mpg cars already, they're just not very practical.
============

They're prototypes. Nothing in production yet though. Loremo is scheduled to go on production next year and it's 120mpg. (Germany, mind you).

In the U.S. they're still offering the X prize to someone who can develop a 100mpg car. So, uh, we're kinda behind. As expected.

So... why don't the Germans with this prototype come over to the US and collect?

He should have gone more practical, like offering a billion dollars to fix Austin's traffic problems.

C'mon Farkers!!!

cksewell: I will give $1B to anyone who can prove they were taken aboard an alien space craft.

/anal probe proof required
//I don't have $1B

You could.

Hi:

Put a car in neutral at the top of the alps and just roll it.

cksewell: I will give $1B to anyone who can prove they were taken aboard an alien space craft.

/anal probe proof required
//I don't have $1B

PROOF IS HERE
NSFW
Link (new window)

chandrika: PROOF IS HERE

When will I ever learn NOT to click on NSFW links?