The guy was probably just tired after all that work. I'd call him a victim of bottle fatigue.

FTFA: Heaven Hill vodka

Too lazy to take more than he could carry, and too stupid to pick a good brand. Heavenly Hill anything is piss in a bottle. Guaranteed gut rot.

Jebus. How hard is it to carry out cases of booze when you've already made a big hole in the place?

Must have been drunk at the time ;)

*****

*****

*****

*****

there it's outa the way

muzzrphochr: FTFA: Heaven Hill vodka

Too lazy to take more than he could carry, and too stupid to pick a good brand. Heavenly Hill anything is piss in a bottle. Guaranteed gut rot.

absolut-ly

Ahhh...Devil Vodak. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column, which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behave in this terrible way. But, you can't control it.

two half-gallon bottles of Heaven Hill vodka

Maybe he'll earn himself a darwin award drinking his ill gotten gains.

No no, none of this is either news or Fark, move along...

I thought Popov was the brand of choice for today's low-aiming burglar...

pupdog: I thought Popov was the brand of choice for today's low-aiming burglar...

He aimed low alright, and still missed.

I would have at least grabbed some Ketel One or Grey Goose!

CygnusDarius: Ahhh...Devil Vodak. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column, which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behave in this terrible way. But, you can't control it.

Well played.

Subby fails. It's Vodak.

CygnusDarius: Ahhh...Devil Vodak. It makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel. Total loss of all basic motor skills. Blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue. The mind recoils in horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column, which is interesting because you can actually watch yourself behave in this terrible way. But, you can't control it.

Hunter S. Thompson and his bottle of ether would like to have a word with your plagiarism...

muzzrphochr FTFA: Heaven Hill vodka

Too lazy to take more than he could carry, and too stupid to pick a good brand. Heavenly Hill anything is piss in a bottle.

It strikes me that anyone who kicks in the front door of a liquor store at five-thirty in the morning is not in the Grey Goose market. Heaven Hill is prolly his daily drink, and he took just enough to get him through the day.

I mean...ya know...he can always go back for more tomorrow morning... ;)

This is not news to anyone who has had their car broken into for the change in the ashtray. $500 in damage for 80 cents trumps this building/vodka ratio.

buzzvert: Hunter S. Thompson and his bottle of ether would like to have a word with your plagiarism...

Well, I didn't have a fresh adrenal gland to chew on at the time.

/Put on some farking golf shoes!
//Also, yes, vodak makes you do the ether thing, I've seen it

buzzvert: Hunter S. Thompson and his bottle of ether would like to have a word with your plagiarism...

So he's speaking from beyond the grave?

BartJones: This is not news to anyone who has had their car broken into for the change in the ashtray. $500 in damage for 80 cents trumps this building/vodka ratio.

THIS. When my son first moved to SF he rented a place in the shiatty part of town down near the Bay Bridge. The first night some bum broke into his old Chevy to steal a t-shirt or some such off the back seat, so he just left the window unrepaired, and never left anything in the car.

Last article on the page:

Officials of a church on New Jersey Street said a 1997 Izuzu Trooper is parked on the church lot every day.

A young female always gets out and leaves with a young man.

The woman was asked not to park there, but she does anyway.

buzzvert: Subby fails. It's Vodak.

I've read the original "vodak" thread.

I'm with subby on this one.

DasSpaternator: Last article on the page: Officials of a church on New Jersey Street said a 1997 Izuzu Trooper is parked on the church lot every day. A young female always gets out and leaves with a young man.

I LOL'd. She's getting bonked by her old bf while hubby is at work, and it will not end well when her name appears in the paper after the church presses trespassing charges.

StoneColdAtheist: DasSpaternator: Last article on the page: Officials of a church on New Jersey Street said a 1997 Izuzu Trooper is parked on the church lot every day. A young female always gets out and leaves with a young man.

I LOL'd. She's getting bonked by her old bf while hubby live-in boyfriend is at work, and it will not end well when her name appears in the paper after the church presses trespassing charges.

FTFY.

/More likely, anyway.
//Less likely that any of the three can read.
///It's Tennessee, after all.

F*cking amateurs, giving the rest of us a bad name.

The Tony Danzas: buzzvert: Hunter S. Thompson and his bottle of ether would like to have a word with your plagiarism...

So he's speaking from beyond the grave?

Or the stars

He did try to rob the place, it says he checked the till in the article, but apparently they emptied it at closing so all he got away with were the two bottles of vodka.

voyvf, I submit to your superior knowledge of the great State of Tennessee. :)

StoneColdAtheist: voyvf, I submit to your superior knowledge of the great State of Tennessee. :)

Not something I'm proud of. But the cost of living (for obvious reasons) is way low compared to many other locations. :D

/Not native.
//Making $90k elsewhere is close to the same as making $45k here, when you calculate cost of living. So when you're making $80k here, eh...
///Still, I've been tempted. Every. Single. Day.

"Bottle fatigue," I like that. Check out the rest of the horrifying crimes on the same page. Why, one young woman keeps parking in the church lot after being told not to. Tyrone got whopped on the head by a pissed off ex-girlfriend, and that after she up-ended his barbecue grill. Now he has a headache and can't cook up burgers tonight, damn.

That's a real den of the devil down there, boy. Note to self: laugh while passing thru Chattanooga.

$1750 in damages?

Bunch of savages in this town.

But was it this brand of vodka?

Vodka is the country music of the liquor world. Anyone can make it and it (almost) all tastes the same. Its just too damn easy to interest me.

/Drink Whiskey
//Bushmills especially

what the hell is vodka?

Heh I work in a liquor store, and last week some 80 year old wrecked into some pillars infront of our store, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.
/I guess he thought he was at the farmer's market

I work at a liquor store and last christmas a couple of winners drove a box truck through the wall of our warehouse and over our fence. 11,500 in damage and they took 2 cases of hennessy.

My father has lived in the Logan Circle area of D.C. for 25 years, well before the fudgepacking dicksuckers arrived. During the 80s, urban youths would gladly smash in your windshield to get those two quarters by your handbrake so they could get enough money for more crack.

Anyway, that's what this story reminded me of.

I usually try to drink sky (its cheap but decent) but ive been takeing a liking to

would love to know who subby is,and find out who he blew to get this to go green...

ComicBookGuy: My father has lived in the Logan Circle area of D.C. for 25 years, well before the fudgepacking dicksuckers arrived. During the 80s, urban youths would gladly smash in your windshield to get those two quarters by your handbrake so they could get enough money for more crack.

Anyway, that's what this story reminded me of.

But I'd wager that the neighborhood has improved drastically since those "fudgepacking dicksuckers" showed up, hasn't it?

Curse those fags! Coming around with their professional careers and high incomes! Curse their tasteful landscaping and impeccable interior design!

Heaven Hill comes in those giant plastic bottles, he was going for quantity, not quality.

I swear, all heaven hill liquors taste the same, they just add food coloring or strain thru tea leaves for the 'whiskey' and 'tequila' brands.

/thank Ghod I can afford the good stuff now! Go Laphroaig!
//there's no such thing as 'good' vodka
///'I' would have stolen Everclear 190 proof - then set the place on fire 'cause I'd want to be an ass and see kewl exploding bottles and stuff.

voyvf: StoneColdAtheist: voyvf, I submit to your superior knowledge of the great State of Tennessee. :)

Not something I'm proud of. But the cost of living (for obvious reasons) is way low compared to many other locations. :D

We're all laughing with you, 'Bro.

/who am I kidding...? ;)

CyranoJones: Heaven Hill comes in those giant plastic bottles, he was going for quantity, not quality.

I swear, all heaven hill liquors taste the same, they just add food coloring or strain thru tea leaves for the 'whiskey' and 'tequila' brands.

/thank Ghod I can afford the good stuff now! Go Laphroaig!
//there's no such thing as 'good' vodka
///'I' would have stolen Everclear 190 proof - then set the place on fire 'cause I'd want to be an ass and see kewl exploding bottles and stuff.

Ya know that Laphroaig is aged in used Maker's Mark barrels, right?

Seriously. The Scots and the Canadians have never figured out how to properly char an oak barrel to make decent whiskey. So they buy them all from Kentucky. Makers Mark distillery never uses a barrel twice and makes some decent back-end revenue selling over 8000 used, charred oak barrels a year, primarily to Laphroaig.

Moral of the story: If you want good whiskey, you have to get it from Bourbon country. Everybody else is imitating.

About 15 years ago someone broke into Bear's Place in Bloomington, cutting through the boarded up skylight, breaking into the regular (not drop) safe, stealing $30 for a funeral bouquet (for a recent employee), a case of triple sec, and three bottles of blue curacao. All they had to do was push their hands through the thin, shiatty, locked door windows (plastic) and they would have saved themselves the trouble of using a sabre-saw.

i work at a VERY large store in the south denver metro area and we had gotten broken into twice, all the dumbass stole was cartons of smokes. he was less than ten feet away from the cabinet of the good stuff. i still shake my head when i think about it.

digitalcowboy

what did you read an artcile about that crap?

All bourbon , to be legally considered "straight kentucky bourbon" , has to be aged for at least 4 years in a NEW charred oak barrel.

When you make scotch, the recipee calls for used charred oak barrel, pref that of a kentucky straight bourbon. its gives you a diff taste than that off a new charred barrel. they want it to be smoother as well.