"Being hepped up on caffeine can be a distraction to your learning," said Joe Trybulski, principal of Hillsborough Middle School in central New Jersey.


pssst! Ritalin is a STIMULANT!

"Are you going to start carding kids at coffee houses and candy shops?" said Craig Stevens, a spokesman for the Washington, D.C.-based American Beverage Association, which has energy drink companies among its members.

yes. I thought everyone knew this was coming. After the tobacco settlement, it was pretty clear that 'fast food' (or 'snack foods' if you prefer) were the next deep pocket that was going to be regulated, taxed and eventually banned.

What I find curious is that a school administrator thinks that caffinated products are bad while half his frackin students are probably popping Ritalin all day long to get thru the day.

do yourself a favor schools.
Don't. Just don't. Save yourself the trouble.

Besides, anything that keeps those little bastards awake through class is a good thing, not a bad thing.

SilentStrider: Besides, anything that keeps those little bastards awake through class is a good thing, not a bad thing.

I beg to differ.

You know, eventually there will be nothing left to ban

Frank N Stein: You know, eventually there will be nothing left to ban

The more rules you have, the easier it is to declare someone a criminal. Once they're a criminal, you can pretty much do whatever you want to them and everyone is cool with it.

One day ,all people will realize that everyone is a criminal until proven innocent. And not by a Judge either.

If you want to have fun at school. Quote the Constitution to their faces. And show them your card from the Civil Liberties Union. Your rights begin from birth.

/Now excuse me while I go eat some paste glue.
//Got hooked on the stuff in kindergarten.

I'd be okay with them getting caffeine out of schools if they'd replace it with booze.

Drinking too much water at one time is fatal.

BAN WATER FOR CHILDREN.

/that'll fix it.

"Are you going to start carding kids at coffee houses and candy shops?"

Sure, why not? Don't they do that when they go into a gun store and purchase a firearm?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88REf0tjZHo

Maybe they should put them all on diets as well

I'm going to have to agree with the ban. Kids shouldn't be drinking that much caffeine anyway. Ever see a mom give their 8 year old snowflake a cup of Starbucks coffee?

"Being hepped up on caffeine can be a distraction to your learning," said Joe Trybulski, principal of Hillsborough Middle School in central New Jersey.

Uh, a stimulant is basically defined as something that speeds up thought; the "increased alertness and awareness" is the consequence of simply more neurons firing. And it's my understanding that "thought" is an essential part of the learning process, so...
Some energy drinks do contain ridiculous amounts of caffeine, but unless we're talking about cocaine levels of stimulation, I don't think they're actually a "distraction." But why would someone in education worry about such details...

The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

I know you people just can't wait to hear a message on your answering machine telling you that little Johnny has been detained by the campus supervisors for caffeine possession with intent to distribute.

Weaver95: The more rules you have, the easier it is to declare someone a criminal. Once they're a criminal, you can pretty much do whatever you want to them and everyone is cool with it.

I view it a little less diabolical. I think some people don't like when other people are enjoying themselves.

Kinda off topic. Last night, while I was at a bar, some lady biatched to me about smoking next to her. Never mind that I was sitting at that spot first, or that there were plenty of other seats she could have been sitting at. Nope. I'm an asshole because I dared to smoke in a bar. I didn't even blow smoke her way.

CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

So you think we'll be dominant for many more hundreds of years then?

CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

Leaning buildings?
Pasta based diet?
Gondolas?

NYZooMan: CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

So you think we'll be dominant for many more hundreds of years then?

just the eastern half

It's about time.

/Bring back the Kool Aid

"Are you going to start carding kids at coffee houses and candy shops?"

No, but maybe we should start licensing parents.

Oh, wait... Drivers are licensed too...

Nevermind.

Frank N Stein: CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

Leaning buildings?
Pasta based diet?
Gondolas?

Bachanalias, mostly.

Banning energy drinks in school is just stupid. There's no real reason to want to do that besides extend control over them just a little bit more. How about this: Don't sell the drinks in the vending machines. If a kid wants to bring one from home, go ahead and let them. If the kid gets all uppity during class it's his and his parents fault and it'll reflect that on his report card. Or if he get's straight A's, then leave him the fark alone. When did school go from actually teaching shiat to authoritarian control over every little aspect of their lives?

I wish that my school hadn't had vending machines at all. It's too easy to get used to eating the pure shiat that comprises 99+ percent of vending machine contents.

"Being hepped up on caffeine can be a distraction to your learning," said Joe Trybulski

Wait, .....What?

Back when I was in school we would store 24 packs of Surge in our lockers. Down a can between classes and store a can or two in your backpack for study hall. We even mad money by selling them cheaper than what they charged at the machines. God I miss Surge.

InnerMonkey: It's too easy to get used to eating the pure shiat that comprises 99+ percent of vending machine contents

They can have my Funyans and Dr Pepper when they pry them from my cold salt covered fingers.

scottydoesntknow: When did school go from actually teaching shiat to authoritarian control over every little aspect of their lives

When shiate went PC and lawyers saw schools as sources of income. The schools decided it was easier to control everything rather than risk getting sued.

Ban stupid, inane, busywork homework and you can have my coffee and Monster.

It's not even useful, it's just crap homework to make stupid professors look like they're teaching something.

NYZooMan: CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

So you think we'll be dominant for many more hundreds of years then?

I believe he is making a roundabout reference to the http://www.amazon.com/Myths-Empire-Domestic-Politics-International/dp/0801497647 (new window) myths of empire.

Saying that every empire in history follows the same pattern of over expanding and trying to control too much of the world then collapsing in on itself. Rome and Britain are the two obvious that come to mind, and they trend seems to be that it takes a shorter and shorter amount of time for the empire to collapse as technology advances.

Also to those who don't think the US is an empire, we have what the UN calls hard power, meaning military bases, in 130 countries and it costs the American people 2 trillion a year.

I know let's just put a ban on air ...Be done with it...

/Holding breath do not seem to work
//Bad idea .....

They set up vending machines selling Energy drinks outside one of my dorms in college.

No lie, those little shiatacular tasting bombs cost $2 out of a machine.

Waste of money, waste of time. Just get some sleep for God's sake.

Maybe if these kids didn't have such huge allowances they wouldn't be throwing money away on those idiotic fad drinks.

Jesus H, the article isn't about college or even high school - it's about middle school students. Kids. I say leave it up to the parents, but it is sad that people at that age need this crap to begin with. A teenager should have enough natural energy to get through life without any outside help.

Whatthefark: They can have my Funyans and Dr Pepper when they pry them from my cold salt covered fingers.

This.

Except... not Dr Pepper + Funyans.

/Vault ftw

Why do schools bother sequentially banning everything one at a time year after year? They should all just come right out and say that the only consumables allowed on school property are water and generic nutrient bars manufactured and supplied by the government.

We're approaching a crazy 1984/Terry Gilliam-esque future existence, and I wish they'd just hurry up and do it all at once to ease the pain of waiting.

\Glad I'm not a student

I've drunk energy drinks as a public school student, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/The county had the same name as the area in the article.

self restraint.
just because we all have the right to do anything and eat everything doesn't mean it's a good thing.
if schools actualy were able to positively influence kids it might be a good idea to steer them away from stimulation that only requires money not work.
/rules are made to be broken
/inspiration is worth finding
//litle slo tonight

Rip It baby!

/only $1.09

Here's how it goes at my middle school:

-Kids stand around before school guzzling energy drinks.
-Halfway through the first period, they're climbing the walls, unable to sit still, and being a pain in the ass. (Remember, kids who have parents that actually let them drink multiple energy drinks at 8 rarely have taught their children not to be douchbags)
- A half hour later many of these darlings would like to go to the nurse because their tummy hurts.
- After lunch, their sugar/caffeine buzz is over, and they fall asleep in class.

Great way to learn. Glad so many here are defending this.

(Hopes my district bans this shiat this year... They've been talking about it.)

damn, energy drinks got me through high school.

the new generation of kids is screwed.

I don't think kids need energy drinks to get through class. It's the parents' responsibility to get them to bed early enough for them to be well rested and awake the next morning. If that doesn't happen, too bad, they bomb the class.

NO. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no -no-no-no-no-no-no-NOOOOO.

Of course, this school is nowhere near mine so I probably don't have to worry, but if I couldn't have


this stuff, I might as well drop out. Srsly, it's all that's kept me from falling into a coma during Medical Terminology or algebra, and the only one that tastes good.

Amazing that there was a time when you ate cereal in the morning, school lunch with a pint of milk, and drank water out of the drinking fountains the rest of the school day.
Anybody that needs energy drinks just to make it through a school day is weak.

tekkie55: damn, energy drinks got me through high school.

the new generation of kids is screwed.

No, I think we're all screwed. Each generation of kids just gets worse and worse. Parenting these days sucks.

Oh, hey. DNRTFA, so I assumed by "campus" it meant college campuses. Never mind... @_@

NYZooMan: CygnusDarius: The way I'm seeing the US right now is kinda like the Roman Empire. And you know how that ended up.

So you think we'll be dominant for many more hundreds of years then?

When do we get sacked by the Vandals?

Oh, this is from MIDDLE SCHOOLS. I say good. Caffeine + little kids = an environment hardly conducive to learning. Seriously, what little kid needs ENERGY DRINKS to get through a farking 8 hour day?

Gatorade or 10 gallon pepsi and Hot Cheetos was the diet of most students back in high school.

Middle school, ok, fine, these are 11-14 year olds. But i couldnt have survived high school without caffine. Work from 3-7 after school every day, dinner, little wind down, an hour of tv or video games, then 5 hours or so of homework (AP classes and i dropped out of college, woo), then awake at 6:30 the next morning...

Thank god by senior year i had a car and a first period study hall. Skipped to the coffee shop every morning for something called a "red-eye", 16oz of the shops strong blend w/ 2 shots of espressso in it, and a couple of cigarettes and i was good for the morning at least.