I'm sure we can expect to hear this from all of the mainstream press now.

Awesome! And it only cost $1 trillion, more than 4,000 American lives, hundreds of thousands of Iraqi lives, and tens of thousands of people maimed and wounded.

So, um ... what did we win?

//wasn't this announced already?
//eyeroll.

Imagine that, from the lead donut servers themselves.

Subby is a tard

the last 60 hours:

-A roadside bomb planted outside the residence of Dawa Party member, Abdulrahman Mohammed Dawood in Zafaraniyah, southeastern Baghdad exploded injuring Dawood and two of his security detail at 11 a.m.

-Police found two unidentified bodies in Baghdad. The first body was found in Zafaraniyah district while the second body was found in Ur neighborhood.

-A woman was killed in a roadside bomb in Abo Saida area east of Baquba around 11:30 a.m.

-Gunmen killed a civilian in al Midan neighborhood in downtown Mosul city.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint in al Tahreer neighborhood in east Mosul city on Wednesday afternoon killing two Iraqi soldiers.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint manned by Awakening Council, a U. S backed militia, in Adhamiyah at 9 a.m. killing two members. The gunmen used silencers on their weapons, said Iraqi Police.

-One unidentified body was found by Iraqi Police in Nidhal Street, central Baghdad.

-A suicide car bomber targeted a checkpoint manned by Iraqi Army in al-Intisar neighbourhood, eastern Mosul killing two soldiers, injuring two others.

-A female suicide bomber wearing an explosive belt targeted an Awakening Council Commander in Baquba, Naeem al-Dulaimi at 3 p.m. The explosion, which took place in a car dealership while Dulaimi was checking a car killed him, his two security guards and four civilians, injuring at least twenty four others including women and children.

-A roadside bomb targeted an Iraqi army patrol in Ghazaliyah, western Baghdad at 3 p.m. injuring two soldiers.

- Around 8 am a roadside detonated in Jihad neighborhood (west Baghdad). One person was injured.

- Around 10 am a roadside bomb targeted an army patrol in Sleikh intersection(north Baghdad). Two soldiers were injured.

- Around 2 pm a roadside bomb targeted civilians in Kamb Sara in Adhamiyah neighborhood (north Baghdad). Six people were injured (including 1 policeman and two Sahwa members).

- Around 3 p.m. gunmen attacked and injured awakening council official in Daowdi neighborhood, west Baghdad.

- Around 4 p.m. a roadside bomb targeted awakening council member, a U.S. backed militia, in Sleikh neighborhood, injuring two militia members.

- Police found one dead body throughout Baghdad in Baladiyat neighborhood.

-A gunman with silencer opened fire on an American patrol in downtown Kirkuk. A 14 year-old kid was killed in that incident .

- In the morning gunmen opened fire on a combined patrol from Iraqi security forces and Americans. One Iraqi policeman was killed and another was injured.



"Tonight's top story: Things are better than ever!"

Tabatha Static [TotalFark] Quote 2008-07-26 05:13:13 PM
the last 60 hours:

-A roadside bomb planted outside the residence of Dawa Party member, Abdulrahman Mohammed Dawood in Zafaraniyah, southeastern Baghdad exploded injuring Dawood and two of his security detail at 11 a.m.

-Police found two unidentified bodies in Baghdad. The first body was found in Zafaraniyah district while the second body was found in Ur neighborhood.

-A woman was killed in a roadside bomb in Abo Saida area east of Baquba around 11:30 a.m.

-Gunmen killed a civilian in al Midan neighborhood in downtown Mosul city.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint in al Tahreer neighborhood in east Mosul city on Wednesday afternoon killing two Iraqi soldiers.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint manned by Awakening Council, a U. S backed militia, in Adhamiyah at 9 a.m. killing two members. The gunmen used silencers on their weapons, said Iraqi Police.

-One unidentified body was found by Iraqi Police in Nidhal Street, central Baghdad.

-A suicide car bomber targeted a checkpoint manned by Iraqi Army in al-Intisar neighbourhood, eastern Mosul killing two soldiers, injuring two others.

-A female suicide bomber wearing an explosive belt targeted an Awakening Council Commander in Baquba, Naeem al-Dulaimi at 3 p.m. The explosion, which took place in a car dealership while Dulaimi was checking a car killed him, his two security guards and four civilians, injuring at least twenty four others including women and children.

-A roadside bomb targeted an Iraqi army patrol in Ghazaliyah, western Baghdad at 3 p.m. injuring two soldiers.

- Around 8 am a roadside detonated in Jihad neighborhood (west Baghdad). One person was injured.

- Around 10 am a roadside bomb targeted an army patrol in Sleikh intersection(north Baghdad). Two soldiers were injured.

- Around 2 pm a roadside bomb targeted civilians in Kamb Sara in Adhamiyah neighborhood (north Baghdad). Six people were injured (including 1 policeman and two Sahwa members).

- Around 3 p.m. gunmen attacked and injured awakening council official in Daowdi neighborhood, west Baghdad.

- Around 4 p.m. a roadside bomb targeted awakening council member, a U.S. backed militia, in Sleikh neighborhood, injuring two militia members.

- Police found one dead body throughout Baghdad in Baladiyat neighborhood.

-A gunman with silencer opened fire on an American patrol in downtown Kirkuk. A 14 year-old kid was killed in that incident .

- In the morning gunmen opened fire on a combined patrol from Iraqi security forces and Americans. One Iraqi policeman was killed and another was injured.

Except for the roadside bombs, you could use any major city USA name and be accurate also.

WTFDYW: Except for the roadside bombs, you could use any major city USA name and be accurate also.

This is not a police blotter. Daily crime is not included. These are accounts of political, ethnic, and sectarian violence. What "major American city" do you live in that is shredded by political and sectarian warfare?

The war was "won" in days.
It's the occupation that the gov't will never "win".

So if the U.S. is winning...

What exactly is the prize?

Please don't apply any slogans tied to the Chicago Cubs to our military. They won't win a damn battle for a century.

I hear our ration of Victory chocolate is up to 28 grams today!

I look forward to the calm and intellectual dialogue that will take place in this forum.

lol...kidding.

//gets popcorn

Tabatha Static: WTFDYW: Except for the roadside bombs, you could use any major city USA name and be accurate also.

This is not a police blotter. Daily crime is not included. These are accounts of political, ethnic, and sectarian violence. What "major American city" do you live in that is shredded by political and sectarian warfare?

Los angeles?

Tabatha Static: the last 60 hours:
...
"Tonight's top story: Things are better than ever!"

From the AP article:

Statistics show violence at a four-year low. The monthly American death toll appears to be at its lowest of the war - four killed in action so far this month as of Friday, compared with 66 in July a year ago. From a daily average of 160 insurgent attacks in July 2007, the average has plummeted to about two dozen a day this month. On Wednesday the nationwide total was 13.

Army Col. Tom James, a brigade commander who is on his third combat tour in Iraq, explains the new calm this way:

"We've put out the forest fire. Now we're dealing with pop-up fires."

skippytheferret: So if the U.S. is winning...

What exactly is the prize?

Free gas!

Tabatha Static: the last 60 hours:

-A roadside bomb planted outside the residence of Dawa Party member, Abdulrahman Mohammed Dawood in Zafaraniyah, southeastern Baghdad exploded injuring Dawood and two of his security detail at 11 a.m.

-Police found two unidentified bodies in Baghdad. The first body was found in Zafaraniyah district while the second body was found in Ur neighborhood.

-A woman was killed in a roadside bomb in Abo Saida area east of Baquba around 11:30 a.m.

-Gunmen killed a civilian in al Midan neighborhood in downtown Mosul city.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint in al Tahreer neighborhood in east Mosul city on Wednesday afternoon killing two Iraqi soldiers.

-Gunmen attacked a checkpoint manned by Awakening Council, a U. S backed militia, in Adhamiyah at 9 a.m. killing two members. The gunmen used silencers on their weapons, said Iraqi Police.

-One unidentified body was found by Iraqi Police in Nidhal Street, central Baghdad.

-A suicide car bomber targeted a checkpoint manned by Iraqi Army in al-Intisar neighbourhood, eastern Mosul killing two soldiers, injuring two others.

-A female suicide bomber wearing an explosive belt targeted an Awakening Council Commander in Baquba, Naeem al-Dulaimi at 3 p.m. The explosion, which took place in a car dealership while Dulaimi was checking a car killed him, his two security guards and four civilians, injuring at least twenty four others including women and children.

-A roadside bomb targeted an Iraqi army patrol in Ghazaliyah, western Baghdad at 3 p.m. injuring two soldiers.

- Around 8 am a roadside detonated in Jihad neighborhood (west Baghdad). One person was injured.

- Around 10 am a roadside bomb targeted an army patrol in Sleikh intersection(north Baghdad). Two soldiers were injured.

- Around 2 pm a roadside bomb targeted civilians in Kamb Sara in Adhamiyah neighborhood (north Baghdad). Six people were injured (including 1 policeman and two Sahwa members).

- Around 3 p.m. gunmen attacked and injured awakening council official in Daowdi neighborhood, west Baghdad.

- Around 4 p.m. a roadside bomb targeted awakening council member, a U.S. backed militia, in Sleikh neighborhood, injuring two militia members.

- Police found one dead body throughout Baghdad in Baladiyat neighborhood.

-A gunman with silencer opened fire on an American patrol in downtown Kirkuk. A 14 year-old kid was killed in that incident .

- In the morning gunmen opened fire on a combined patrol from Iraqi security forces and Americans. One Iraqi policeman was killed and another was injured.


Is that 60 hours in Iraq or one night in Detroit?

dude thats like 20 minutes in detroit

detroit

/doesn't want to be left out

I'd like my iraq... with gas

btw, Michigan? ALSO full of muslims. Coincidence?

skippytheferret: So if the U.S. is winning...

What exactly is the prize?

According to some this:

From stratfor.com
Annual Forecast 2008: Beyond the Jihadist War - Introduction

"The Iraq war was an outgrowth of the jihadist war. After the 2001 invasion of Afghanistan, the United States realized it lacked the military wherewithal to simultaneously deal with the four powers that made al Qaeda possible: Saudi Arabia, Syria, Iran and Pakistan. The first phase of the Bush solution was to procure an anchor against Afghanistan by forcing Pakistan into an alliance. The second was to invade the state that bordered the other three - Iraq - in order to intimidate the remaining trio into cooperating against al Qaeda. The final stage was to press both wars until al Qaeda - the core organization that launched the 9/11 attack and sought the creation of a pan-Islamic caliphate, not the myriad local extremists who later adopted its name - broke."

Annual Forecast 2008: Beyond the Jihadist War -- Middle East
Stratfor Today » January 8, 2008 | 1758 GMT

"The United States may have lost the Iraq war in military terms in that it has failed to impose a military reality on the region, but it has won the ensuing chaos in geopolitical terms by emerging as the dominant and most influential player throughout the entire Sunni world.

The Middle East entered 2007 with the United States and Iran circling each other, searching for weaknesses and opportunities. Ultimately each attempted to convince the other that it stood ready to create the other's worst-case scenario. The Iranians' threat was to use the Shiite militia to trigger so much violence that the U.S. military position in Iraq would be untenable, heralding a surge of Iranian military power that could conquer all of the Arabian Peninsula. The U.S. threat was to empower the Iraqi Sunni to the point that the Sunni would again rule Mesopotamia and serve as a check on Persian ambitions - and there also was the possibility of a U.S. air war against Iran itself.
Ultimately these positions were the negotiation equivalent of baseball bats, and by year's end it became apparent that the two sides had chosen tools that were more surgical and less prone to acrimonious fallout. Instead of setting Iraq on fire using its militia allies, Iran dialed back, leading to the least violent period in post-Hussein Iraq. Instead of endlessly threatening Iran, the United States proclaimed that it no longer believed Iran had a nuclear weapons program - much less the weapons themselves"

Yes. Yes.
We're winning in 2008 and we'll be winning in 2010 and we'll be winning in 2015 and we'll be winning in 2020.

If, that is, you define 'winning' as a stalemate.


USA

USA

USA

We're also winning the war on terror and the war on drugs. It truly is a utopian age we live in.

This reminds me of a joke:

A magician in a sequined jacket is doing his act. Everything is going well, and the audience loves him.


"For my grand finale, I will need a big strapping man from the audience...YOU sir, come up to the stage! Let him through!"

The brute from the audience is confused when, by the time he gets to the stage, the magician has produced a huge mallet. The big volunteer takes the hammer from the magician, unsure.

"Sir, I want you to hit me on the top of the skull with ALL YOUR MIGHT! It's okay, I've done this before!" said the mage.

With a little hesitation, the big guy swings the mallet and hits the magician on the top of his head. A sickening sound like a grapefruit dropped on a winter sidewalk....the audience gasps and wretching is heard...


5 years later the magician wakes from his coma and yells "TAH DAH!!"

All well and good that things in Iraq are less deadly but if I could give smitty an ass kicking via TCP/IP I'd do it just for dragging that wretched meme out of the Sports tab and making the rest of us look at it.

YES! I said it years ago; the flip side of "Bush goes down as the worst president of all time" is "in fifty years the middle east will turn democratic country by country with iraq as a model and Bush will be lauded as a great visionary who stood by his guns despite bleak times".

When other countries see the taste of freedom Iraq will surely gain, they will think twice about backing their leader, "insert ironic name here i.e chemical ali".

Tabatha Ecstatic: the last 60 hours:

Tabatha Static: WTFDYW: Except for the roadside bombs, you could use any major city USA name and be accurate also.

This is not a police blotter. Daily crime is not included. These are accounts of political, ethnic, and sectarian violence. What "major American city" do you live in that is shredded by political and sectarian warfare?

dc.

I thought we won in 2003. Kicked Saddam's ass, right? What we didn't think out, or perform well, was the occupation.

Dancin_In_Anson: Tabatha Ecstatic: the last 60 hours:

Weren't we in the "last throws" after we were "Mission Accomplished".

Pardon the skepticism, but I have an IQ higher than a cucumber.

Shwirv: YES! I said it years ago; the flip side of "Bush goes down as the worst president of all time" is "in fifty years the middle east will turn democratic country by country with iraq as a model and Bush will be lauded as a great visionary who stood by his guns despite bleak times".

When other countries see the taste of freedom Iraq will surely gain, they will think twice about backing their leader, "insert ironic name here i.e chemical ali".

You're an idiot. Uninstall. We're still going to be paying interest on the cost of this...LITERALLY.

Yay, we won...GET OUR PEOPLE OUT OF THAT GODFORSAKEN HELLHOLE NOW, OKAY? WOULD THAT BE ALRIGHT WITH YOU MOUTHBREATHERS? MIGHT I RECOMMEND THE SHARPER IMAGE NOSE HAIR TRIMMER FOR YOU, SHWIRV?

muck4doo: Dancin_In_Anson: Tabatha Ecstatic: the last 60 hours:

So, where are we going with this? The suspense is killing me.

Nabb1: muck4doo: Dancin_In_Anson: Tabatha Ecstatic: the last 60 hours:

So, where are we going with this? The suspense is killing me.

Just don't mention "moobs"

Marla Singer's Laundry: Nabb1: muck4doo: Dancin_In_Anson: Tabatha Ecstatic: the last 60 hours:

Marla Singer's Laundry

You're an idiot. Uninstall. We're still going to be paying interest on the cost of this...LITERALLY.

Yay, we won...GET OUR PEOPLE OUT OF THAT GODFORSAKEN HELLHOLE NOW, OKAY? WOULD THAT BE ALRIGHT WITH YOU MOUTHBREATHERS? MIGHT I RECOMMEND THE SHARPER IMAGE NOSE HAIR TRIMMER FOR YOU, SHWIRV?

Strike a nerve marla? I'm sorry you were wrong about the whole ordeal. War is a necessary "evil". The sooner you realize that the better. Please don't call me an idiot, it's not polite. Your plea to pull the troops out now is just insulting. If we had it your way there would have been no surge and no progress. I think you need to "edumacate" yourself on how foreign policy works. See how much has been accomplished with diplomacy versus brute force. Oh well, makes me wonder why we teach history at all.

Marla Singer's Laundry: MIGHT I RECOMMEND THE SHARPER IMAGE NOSE HAIR TRIMMER FOR YOU, SHWIRV?

noone uses sharper image when they can just order from sky mall.

by the way:

What is the goal of this war? After finding WMDs (Never found them), Removing Al-Quida (Never was there in the first place until we came in), creating Democracy (More like creating Civil war), I have kinda lost track of the Victory conditions and what is being done besides setting US troops on Patrols so they can be targets of Fanatics

Ah, good. We done. We been here four hour. We go now.

Shwirv: Marla Singer's Laundry

You're an idiot. Uninstall. We're still going to be paying interest on the cost of this...LITERALLY.

Yay, we won...GET OUR PEOPLE OUT OF THAT GODFORSAKEN HELLHOLE NOW, OKAY? WOULD THAT BE ALRIGHT WITH YOU MOUTHBREATHERS? MIGHT I RECOMMEND THE SHARPER IMAGE NOSE HAIR TRIMMER FOR YOU, SHWIRV?

Strike a nerve marla? I'm sorry you were wrong about the whole ordeal. War is a necessary "evil". The sooner you realize that the better. Please don't call me an idiot, it's not polite. Your plea to pull the troops out now is just insulting. If we had it your way there would have been no surge and no progress. I think you need to "edumacate" yourself on how foreign policy works. See how much has been accomplished with diplomacy versus brute force. Oh well, makes me wonder why we teach history at all.


What did we "win", asshole? Talk down to me again and I'll devote my life to mocking you

;)


God, this is easy.

Shwirv: YES! I said it years ago; the flip side of "Bush goes down as the worst president of all time" is "in fifty years the middle east will turn democratic country by country with iraq as a model and Bush will be lauded as a great visionary who stood by his guns despite bleak times".

When other countries see the taste of freedom Iraq will surely gain, they will think twice about backing their leader, "insert ironic name here i.e chemical ali".

I have no doubt that Republicans, no matter what, will laud him as some kind of visionary. If the middle east does become democratic it will have nothing to do with Bush/Cheney, but they will insist that it does. Just repeat it over and over and over again, grounded in reality or not.

From shwirv's bio:

I created an account on fark.com to pwn leftie nut jobs. Peace-nicks are idealistic to the point of being dangerous and detrimental for the progress of humanity.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Good luck...doesn't look to me like you packed a lunch.

I would've stuck with "magicians", no one really thinks of them as "mages."

Well, I hope the troops in Iraq can get out of there and then start serving their country. Maybe the house of cards will stay up long enough to get everyone out.

shiat, the dems have been trying to keep this quiet for like 5-6 months now... Not to worry, the major media outlets won't report on it--and Obama will distract by saying that Afghanistan is a bigger issue. PLAN. BREAK!

Lipspinach: I would've stuck with "magicians", no one really thinks of them as "mages."

Well, I dunno, I'm not a comedian. Call him whatever you want. "Illusionist" "wizard" "some shmuck in a glitter tux" "apt metaphor for ham-fisted tragedies of American politics" etc.

I have an uncle that works over in Iraq and his opinion is that the war has generally been a huge benefit to the people of that country. He also said that the reality is pretty far from how the media portrays it both for and against the war.

I'll take his word for it over any of the media outlets here, and most certainly over all of the couch politicians you find on fark, who read their biased and uninformed media outlets and then come here and vomit it all over this forum.

werbito: shiat, the dems have been trying to keep this quiet for like 5-6 months now... Not to worry, the major media outlets won't report on it--and Obama will distract by saying that Afghanistan is a bigger issue. PLAN. BREAK!

Yeah, it's only been 5 years and 1.8 trillion dollars (not amortizing the interest, mind you). Strong work, Bush voters. Strong work.

Marla Singer's Laundry: Just don't mention "moobs"

Sweetie, if that's the best you can do...