If I ever become Emperor, I will have a weekly "is this stupid" meeting. This is where anyone who wants money for a grant from the taxpayers will have to justify why they should get it. If I deem it stupid, such as the people in the headline, then I punch them in the stomach while yelling "THAT'S STUPID YOU FARKING RETARD!" and just to drive the point home, I elbow slam them in the head. If it isn't stupid, then they get the money. Some practical examples:

We want to conduct a study on whether men get more interested in a woman if she is wearing less clothing. STUPID!

We want to cure cancer. NOT STUPID!

We want to see if women are attracted to footwear as opposed to hand tools. STUPID!

We want to launch rockets to search space for life. NOT STUPID!

We want to see if teenagers like to have sex. STUPID!

We want to clone dinosaurs so we can have dinosaur hunts. NOT STUPID!

See? It's very simple. I will be the Minister of NOT STUPID.

eddyatwork: If I ever become Emperor, I will have a weekly "is this stupid" meeting.

....I will be the Minister of NOT STUPID.

So you plan on being both Emperor and Minister of NOT STUPID at the same time. STUPID!

King Something: So you plan on being both Emperor and Minister of NOT STUPID at the same time. STUPID!

Shut the hell up you mere king. I'm a farking emperor! I'm going to sit on you.

BROOM THREAD!




/brooming your driveway? news?

King Something: eddyatwork: If I ever become Emperor, I will have a weekly "is this stupid" meeting.

....I will be the Minister of NOT STUPID.

So you plan on being both Emperor and Minister of NOT STUPID at the same time. STUPID!

total pwn.

A great way to reduce water use by home owners is with Roundup.

Instructions::
Get a few gallons of roundup concentrate.
Mix with water in to a small, hideable sprayer.
Then at about 2am, you go cruise your neighborhood looking for the few, perfectly green lawns.
Spray liberally.
No more water waste by that homeowner.

/Warning::May be illegal everywhere to do this.
//But enough Farkers have posted this type of information before.

King Something: So you plan on being both Emperor and Minister of NOT STUPID at the same time. STUPID!

Shut the hell up you mere king. I'm a farking emperor! I'm going to sit on you.

No, THAT was pure pwnage

The way I understand it, we have just come full circle.

We used to sweep the driveway. Then, we figured out that the hose could be modified to spray an intense blast of water, so we rinsed our driveway. Then, California decided that it was a waste of water, so they invented the leaf-blower. Then, your god-damned neighbor decided that it was too loud, so we went back to the hose.

And, we're back to the broom.

I'll bet that if somebody invents the environmentally friendly solar powered leaf-blower, the whole of the left will implode in arguments over noise versus wasted water versus synthetic brooms versus solar energy.

Wait.. who cleans thier DRIVEWAY... are you planing to have lunch on it or something?

King Something and eddyatwork need to play a game of calvinball to settle this

Monty845: Wait.. who cleans thier DRIVEWAY... are you planing to have lunch on it or something?

My driveway gets overrun with grass and small plants overgrowing from the sides and in the cracks.... Plus lots of sand, and eventually ants living in there too. Soooo I clean my driveway about once or twice a year, depending on how bad it gets. I'm not eating off of it, but it's nice to, you know, retain the place to park my car.

Klippoklondike: King Something and eddyatwork need to play a game of calvinball to settle this

No backsies on 5th down between 8th base and the blue zone.

I just broomed my driveway, and thought for the first time that maybe those douchebags with leaf blowers might be on to something...

Yeah, but how much water do you use cleaning it once or twice a year?

Monty845: Wait.. who cleans thier DRIVEWAY... are you planing to have lunch on it or something?

Mine gets cleaned in the winter. when it rains.

/lives in Norcal
//where's my prize for being "green"

I've been trying to conserve by drinking water and then peeing on the lawn. Turns out I'm breaking even.

The leafblower is one of God's greatest creations.

But does it have to be a union made broom? I mean, we sure as hell don't want to get The Amalgamated Brotherhood of Straw, Fiber and Whiskbroom Crafters in a snit.

Scruffinator:
but it's nice to, you know, retain the place to park my car.

I delivered some lumber to a house that has a green driveway... Put down some loam with some gravel on top and then grass seed is planted on top...I could see it was a new driveway/lawn. I made sure I didn't stop till the homeowner came rushing out for me to stop. I wasn't going to pack the small load of lumber from a 100 feet away. Otherwise I would of just dropped it far away for him to pack himself.

Monty845: Yeah, but how much water do you use cleaning it once or twice a year?

A decent bit, actually. I don't know exactly, but it takes a bit to dig everything out. My driveway probably represents about 1 to 1.5 hours worth of cleaning, water running about 95% of that time. I think I'm going to caulk up the cracks this year though.

I'm more of a hose kinda guy

I'm going to sit on you.

It may be the alcohol and weed talking, but that shiat was funny!

I have been out there for the last 25 minutes after reading the headline, and I can honestly say that yes using a broom does conserve water. In fact I can't even find a hose connection on the broom so that I can in fact use water. I did happen to spot a second hole on the opposite side from the spot the handle screws in.
Would somebody in this thread please tell me if there is a fitting that screws into that hole so that I can hook my hose to it? Although the whole seems to dead end in there so I don't even know if that will work. God would somebody please help me? I am so lost.

/off to Home Depot to quiz their wonderful, helpful and knowledgeable sales staff.

Help-Im-Sober

I have been out there for the last 25 minutes after reading the headline, and I can honestly say that yes using a broom does conserve water. In fact I can't even find a hose connection on the broom so that I can in fact use water. I did happen to spot a second hole on the opposite side from the spot the handle screws in.
Would somebody in this thread please tell me if there is a fitting that screws into that hole so that I can hook my hose to it? Although the whole seems to dead end in there so I don't even know if that will work. God would somebody please help me? I am so lost.

/off to Home Depot to quiz their wonderful, helpful and knowledgeable sales staff.


Methinks your login is a lie.

Get Lost: A great way to reduce water use by home owners is with Roundup.

Instructions::
Get a few gallons of roundup concentrate.
Mix with water in to a small, hideable sprayer.
Then at about 2am, you go cruise your neighborhood looking for the few, perfectly green lawns.
Spray liberally.
No more water waste by that homeowner.

/Warning::May be illegal everywhere to do this.
//But enough Farkers have posted this type of information before.

Wouldn't that cause them to use even more water to get their grass to regrow?

Get Lost: Get a few gallons of roundup concentrate.

Roundup? Why not just salt?

Leaf blowers are for housecleaning.

/yes, you read that right.

Obnox
Leaf blowers are for housecleaning.

Carl?

/So, you've got that goin' for ya.

Help-Im-Sober: I have been out there for the last 25 minutes after reading the headline, and I can honestly say that yes using a broom does conserve water. In fact I can't even find a hose connection on the broom so that I can in fact use water. I did happen to spot a second hole on the opposite side from the spot the handle screws in.
Would somebody in this thread please tell me if there is a fitting that screws into that hole so that I can hook my hose to it? Although the whole seems to dead end in there so I don't even know if that will work. God would somebody please help me? I am so lost.

/off to Home Depot to quiz their wonderful, helpful and knowledgeable sales staff.

If you're going to stick your hose into the hole, watch for splinters.

/would truly love to hear someone ask the Home Depot staff that question

macanizer: I'm more of a hose kinda guy

So, you're a pimp?

Monty845: Wait.. who cleans thier DRIVEWAY... are you planing to have lunch on it or something?

People with trees.

/mine is fairly messy right now
//cleaned it a couple weeks ago
///with a shovel, not a broom.

/speaking of hand tools...

Is it as much of a trifecta as it is a sweep?

Ok so you know that sweeping takes less water than spraying. But would the difference matter?

Subby doesn't understand the concept of "management".

ilambiquated: Ok so you know that sweeping takes less water than spraying. But would the difference matter?

Subby doesn't understand the concept of "management".

In my experience, most "managers" don't understand the concept of "management".

Instead of Round-Up or salt try powdered milk. It might not kill the lawn, but they will most likely not enjoy watering.

ignatiuso: Instead of Round-Up or salt try powdered milk. It might not kill the lawn, but they will most likely not enjoy watering.

My lawn gets soggy in milk.

almejita: Obnox
Leaf blowers are for housecleaning.

Carl?

/So, you've got that goin' for ya.

OMG, I have something in common with Carl? Next you're gonna tell me I'm the Sofa King.

Get Lost: A great way to reduce water use by home owners is with Roundup.

Instructions::
Get a few gallons of roundup concentrate.
Mix with water in to a small, hideable sprayer.
Then at about 2am, you go cruise your neighborhood looking for the few, perfectly green lawns.
Spray liberally.
No more water waste by that homeowner.

/Warning::May be illegal everywhere to do this.
//But enough Farkers have posted this type of information before.

So I have this farm and a lot of livestock and pastures and such. On one end of the farm there are a few houses. Most of the folks are OK but there is one guy who is a genuine top-drawer prick. His wife makes up for it by being mean, gossipy and blessed with more ugly than most folks see in a lfetime.They are obsessed with the perfection that is their lawn. They complained loudly about the weeds growing along the fenceline along our shared border so I accomodated them. On the very next day that a 15+ MPH wind was blowing from my place towards theirs I filled my backpack sprayer with a roughly quart and a half/acre mix of Roundup and made sure to douse all the weeds along that fenceline thoroughly and completely. Took care of their lawn nearly 30 feet in some places. I, of course, pleaded total innocence. I just sprayed the weeds, couldn't imagine how that could happen. The deputy that showed up to take their report doesn't like them any better than the rest of us and his Dad is a good friend of mine. Took a fair pool of water to cool them down and then they had a landscaper out there to fix things.

This has nothing to do with brooms but judging from the quantity and variety of free beer that magically appeared in my garage subsequent to their rantings and ravings, I made a clean sweep in the neighborhood opinion polls.

So, none of you read TFA?

It was about how farmers did such a great job conserving water while municipalities did a shiatty job. The sweeping was just a side bar about how to save water, right there with fixing leaky taps, etc.

Recreational Outrage at its best!

Ya know, passive-agressiveness gets a bad rap in the self-help aisle of the bookstore, but sometimes it's the only way to go. Golf clap to you, Mr. Right. :o)

/now get off my organic, fair-trade-seeded, protected-habitat-for-wild-elves lawn

dopirt: Recreational Outrage at its best!

Considering we're all at home posting on Fark on a Saturday night, Recreational Outrage is probably the most fun we're going to have tonight. Don't take away our few remaining pleasures.

Alegria: dopirt: Recreational Outrage at its best!

Considering we're all at home posting on Fark on a Saturday night, Recreational Outrage is probably the most fun we're going to have tonight. Don't take away our few remaining pleasures.

Put that mirror down! The image burns me! My son is out of town for the summer and it's just wifey and me....and what the fark am I doing?!

King Something: eddyatwork: If I ever become Emperor, I will have a weekly "is this stupid" meeting.

....I will be the Minister of NOT STUPID.

So you plan on being both Emperor and Minister of NOT STUPID at the same time. STUPID!


Approves.

If I do manage to get a sizable amount of grass on my driveway, I give it a quick once over with a push broom and wait for the Oklahoma wind to do the rest.

/We have the worlds biggest leaf blower just south of us... it's called Texas
//Commence flaming Texans! I'll read 'em tomorrow

Brooms are ok, but they can't put out a fire in Jon Voight's car.

dopirt: It was about how farmers did such a great job conserving water while municipalities did a shiatty job. The sweeping was just a side bar about how to save water, right there with fixing leaky taps, etc.

They had no choice. Still, it doesn't take too much energy to conserve water. I sweep my walkway once in a while, the same with the driveway. The garden gets water from the kitchen or shower - I keep a bucket handy so when I start running the water I put it into the bucket until it starts to get hot. Amazing how much gets wasted there. Watering the yard? Nope, only when I put down new grass which hasn't happened in years. Car washing? Once in a while and when I do so I turn the water off. My water bills are the minimum for the city.

My neighbors water daily. Their lawn looks like hell (they wanted some grass that looked great on the bag but isn't suited for the mountains). Cars get washed constantly - "it helps us save gas" and they'll let the hose run. Their bill is 2x mine.

lady, you got me convinced