This is what the western world needs: More ways to increase our calorie intake with even less effort.

submitter: How to make a chocolate cake in five minutes

You can make Crunchy Swiss Rolls in less time if you just rummage around in the cat box.

How to make a chocolate cake in five minutes

Go to the store?

Holy crap, it worked!




It's a little dense, but definitely yummy.

I love Saturday and the Internet.

*Om nom nom nom*

I'm totally making some of this stuff with my little girl when she gets back from Grandma's house...she's gonna love it.

I only use 2 eggs in a regular sized cake. I bet that thing tastes like chocolate scrambled eggs.

It takes about 90 seconds to fry a chocolate cake donut.

Defiance_: I only use 2 eggs in a regular sized cake. I bet that thing tastes like chocolate scrambled eggs.

Good call. I might try it again later with half an egg, or just the egg white or something.

Defiance_
I only use 2 eggs in a regular sized cake. I bet that thing tastes like chocolate scrambled eggs.

I'd scramble the one egg + then use only half of it, perhaps mixing in a little water, thus making it a less eggy cake.

The cake is a lie.

Mmmmmm cake.

This is not Farking cake!!!

Finally, a cake even I can actually make!

Isotope

It's a little dense, but definitely yummy.

Lemme guess: you used all-purpose flour?

ok then, off to the kitchen.

Not impressed!

So where are the two girls who made this cake in a cup?

Why is cheese cake called cake when it is more like pie?

Go to store.

Buy cake

wala!

DONT use Olive Oil. Use vegetable or canola oil instead. Olive Oil will make it taste like ASS!

Small amount of eggbeaters instead of 1 full egg

Marie Antoinette is impressed.

Prancemaster: DONT use Olive Oil. Use vegetable or canola oil instead. Olive Oil will make it taste like ASS!

Who uses olive oil?

One whole goddamn egg??

Yeah, that's a souffle.

pounddawg: Prancemaster: DONT use Olive Oil. Use vegetable or canola oil instead. Olive Oil will make it taste like ASS!

Who uses olive oil?

It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake...

Yeah, don't use olive oil. Just use some grease from the last time you cooked bacon.

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WTF???

pounddawg: Go to store.

Buy cake

wala!

it's "voila".

aerojockey: Isotope

It's a little dense, but definitely yummy.

Lemme guess: you used all-purpose flour?

Yep. You think I'm running to the store to get specialty flower for a 5-minute coffe mug "cake"?

Perfect for the 3am munchies when all the stores are closed, or you don't want to drive stoned.

not that I would know about that lol

How to make a chocolate cake fark a web site in five minutes

Damn, I wish I had a microwave. One egg sounds a little intense, but a seemingly awesome answer to the Caturday munchies.


Bookmarked it anyway, I know some people who will dig it.

johnny_vegas:

This is now a Popeye thread.

jackandwater: or you don't want to drive stoned.

...or you need something chocolate to throw at the PMS beast so you can get back to whatever it is you were doing...

this thread needs more tablespoon ....donk donk donk

pdrake: pounddawg: Go to store.

Buy cake

wala!

it's "voila".

which is French for, "look there."

/Voila Voila, Washington!

If you guys want a quick and easy chocolate microwavable recipe, you'd probably like this fudge (new window) better.

Prancemaster: DONT use Olive Oil. Use vegetable or canola oil instead. Olive Oil will make it taste like ASS!

Like my GF's ass? I'm totally trying this in that case.

Isotope: jackandwater: or you don't want to drive stoned.

...or you need something chocolate to throw at the PMS beast so you can get back to whatever it is you were doing...


LOL! Haven't had to worry about that much since '96!!!


still got the ovaries but pms not EVEN as bad

Isotope: *Om nom nom nom*
I'm totally making some of this stuff with my little girl when she gets back from Grandma's house...she's gonna love it.


Gramma has already let her have 3 mug-o-cakes, a tub of frosting and a Coke. Have a nice afternoon.

This cake sounds like puke.

The recipe my mother always used and that I use. No eggs or dairy and mucho delicious:



No-Fail Chocolate Cake

mix in big bowl:

3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
6 generous tbsp cocoa powder

mix in separate bowl:

1/2 cup melted margarine (or butter)
2 cups water
2 tsp vinegar
2 tsp vanilla

-add liquid ingredients to dry and mix until all blended. Bake @ 350F in pan greased with shortening (works the best) for approx. 30 min (maybe less). Check with toothpick for readiness. Cool it and ice. Kick-ass.

How to make chocolate cake in 30 seconds that probably tastes better.

Prancemaster: Olive Oil will make it taste like ASS!

To be fair, it only tastes like ass when the olive oil hits the anus.

FIve minutes? Meh, make it in two minutes and maybe I'll be impressed... but not that 30-second pre-made crap!

This recipe comes out as a rubbery, barely chocolate lump for me.

My own recipe (more brownie than cake, but that's the way I like it):
4 T. flour
4 T. sugar
2 T. cocoa
2 T. oil
2 T. water
sprinkle of salt (a single shake from a shaker)

Mix in a mug, nuke for 1 minute (maybe longer if you have a weak microwave). It's delicious.

/living in a dorm room -> you get creative
//Yes, I do have cocoa and flour in my dorm room

Obama elitist chocolate cake?

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Homer: Five minutes?? But I want it NOW!

NO FAIL CHOCOLATE CAKE SHOT IN WAY LESS THAN 5 MINUTES

1/2 oz Frangelico liqueur
1/2 oz Vanilla vodka

Frost the rim of your favorite shot glass (mine says I Heart Intercourse...PA) with sugar and lemon. Add the vanilla vodka and Frangelico; stir together. Lick the sugar rim, shoot the mixture, and bite a piece of lemon. Repeat.

NO FAIL. ALL WIN.

The Crack Kid My own recipe...

Intriguing. Must try.