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(Some Speaker of the House) Asinine Bush administration attempts to redefine the term "abortion" so that it includes oral contraception. They're apparently unclear on how putting it in her mouth prevents babies from happening   (speaker.gov) divider line 123
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Tabatha Static 2008-07-18 10:30:07 PM  
i27.photobucket.com

More effective as birth control than abstinence if you're including the Blessed Virgin Mary

 
co-conspirator [TotalFark] 2008-07-18 10:40:02 PM  
The stupider people become about science, the easier it is to get sh*t like this past them.

 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark] 2008-07-18 11:12:07 PM  
Buttsecks == abortion

 
Three Crooked Squirrels [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 12:17:25 AM  
Why would you even need birth control? Abstinence only education is the bees' knees, and works every time. I was a virgin with no exposure to STD's when I slept with you. You were too, right?

 
wejash [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 01:31:44 AM  
Three Crooked Squirrels: Why would you even need birth control? Abstinence only education is the bees' knees, and works every time. I was a virgin with no exposure to STD's when I slept with you. You were too, right?

Oh man, don't look at me like that. It was not me. I don't have a birthmark like that. Go away. Stop stalking me.

Ok, look...It's over, dude. What happens at summer camp stays at summer camp. Alright?

 
GAT_00 [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 01:43:53 AM  
How very nice of them. I cannot wait until this asshole leaves. I am going to be so farking happy the day Obama is sworn in.

 
Sun God [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 01:47:34 AM  
Isn't "oral contraception" actually The Pill? I'm sure the drug companies would love to have The Pill banned.

 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 01:50:56 AM  
ohmyfkngawd...seriously, what the fark is wrong with you people?

 
serpent_sky [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 01:51:41 AM  
Sun God: Isn't "oral contraception" actually The Pill? I'm sure the drug companies would love to have The Pill banned.

That is probably the ONLY thing that saves us. The amount of money the pharmaceutical industry makes annually on the pill. Hell, even with insurance, my current pill still costs me $35 out of pocket -- plus whatever insurance pays.

There are a hell of of a lot of people paying for the pill monthly -- some more than this, even.

I worry about things like this getting by, but I am really pretty sure the pharmaceutical industry would pitch a fit and they have a lot of power.

 
SpaceyCat [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 02:40:32 AM  
OK. So we are moving back in time. What next? Only men can own property?

And also, since he's trying to push this legislation, is he also going to provide financial support to all the babies born from this?

 
BadGurl404 [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 02:45:05 AM  
This proposed regulation would threaten The Pill, the "morning after" pill and interuterine devices. The reason is because these types of contraceptives can prevent a fertilized ovum from implanting in the uterus - causing the clump of cells to "abort" from the process of implanting.

However, because some people wanting to work in hospitals and clinics may have moral or religious objections to these types of contraceptives, their objections have to be taken into account and this proposed regulation would prevent them from having to prescribe or counsel women about these forms of contraception.

Seriously, if you have moral or religious objections to birth control and work in a woman's health clinic... you may want to consider a new career choice. It's like a Mac fanboy taking a job in PC support: you're going to be miserable every single minute of your working life and you'll take it out on clients, who are already miserable.

 
johne3819 [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 02:48:06 AM  
NO WAY? Can this be true?

 
Ganymede_Elegy 2008-07-19 02:50:07 AM  
Oh hell no

 
Sabyen91 [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 02:53:01 AM  
Waiting for anal contraceptives.

 
outatime 2008-07-19 02:54:57 AM  
Sabyen91: Waiting for anal contraceptives.

Ass babies?

/dibs on that as a band name

 
Lackofname 2008-07-19 02:56:02 AM  
This whole "contraception" business is likely because Republicans don't need to fear pregnancies; they simply stroll down to the men's room.

 
Aamelrons 2008-07-19 02:56:39 AM  
Okay, I am confused. Did Roe VS Wade strike down the Federal Government deciding if abortion was okay, or also the state?

If so, if Roe VS Wade said a woman had the right to choose, aren't these new laws bush is passing unconstitutional? (until SCOTUS overturns roe vs wade)
/taking intro to politics
//had a test on this today

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2008-07-19 02:56:40 AM  
co-conspirator: The stupider people become about science, the easier it is to get sh*t like this past them.

I believe that's the goal....

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 02:57:24 AM  
Sun God: Isn't "oral contraception" actually The Pill? I'm sure the drug companies would love to have The Pill banned.

Which is why it will never happen.

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2008-07-19 02:57:43 AM  
wejash:
Ok, look...It's over, dude. What happens at summer camp stays at summer camp. Alright?


Do you play the flute, by any chance?

 
AirForceVet [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 03:00:14 AM  
I guess Republican women will have to brush up on their oral skills.

 
AxiomJackson 2008-07-19 03:05:14 AM  
Man, if they ever test the socks in my laundry basket I'm certain to go to prison for life.

 
Neurochemist 2008-07-19 03:05:24 AM  
Operation poke the beehive with a stick...

Operation Rove v2.0, here's the plan:

1. Pick a issue you might be able to slide through if liberals weren't paying attention to it. (Offshore oil drilling)
2. Invent an issue (distraction) that causes the liberals to lose their minds and throw a hissy fit...

 
Neurochemist 2008-07-19 03:09:27 AM  
Ohh and the most important point of this proposal:

3. Start driving wedge issues at every turn. Do what you do best, let the mud flinging, tooth-n-nail, dirty politics begin!

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2008-07-19 03:10:14 AM  
AirForceVet: I guess Republican women will have to brush up on their oral skills.

Silly. Republican women don't have sex.

 
zarberg 2008-07-19 03:11:04 AM  
George Bush when asked about Roe v. Wade:

www.stickergiant.com

/hotlinked.

 
Esmira 2008-07-19 03:22:16 AM  
Pfft. Most of the women I know don't even take the pill as a contraceptive. Heck, most of the lesbians I know take the pill. They can pry away the only thing keeping us from being in agony every month from our cold dead fingers! Abortion... if it ain't alive, it ain't being killed.

 
zarberg 2008-07-19 03:23:58 AM  
Lenny_da_Hog: AirForceVet: I guess Republican women will have to brush up on their oral skills.

Silly. Republican women don't have sex.


It's easy to avoid sex when you use your personality as birth control.

 
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor 2008-07-19 03:25:01 AM  
Anyone who aborts a viable fetus should be charged with treason. That's a future tax payer and draftee they've just killed. Everyone laughs about it afterward, as they poke at the rotting corpse, but we'll see just how much fun they're having when the People's Liberation Army crosses the Strait of Taiwan with a bridge of dead conscripts. When the United States, with a population of a mere three hundred and some million, is tasked with tackling the behemoth of China in conventional warfare on the beaches of Taiwan and amongst the ruins of Taipei. The inability of the military to match the raw numbers of the People's Republic will necessitate the use of nuclear weapons. How long before those lower yield tactical weapons become strategic, megaton-strength warheads detonating above American and Chinese cities? All because American citizens refused to have enough babies to allow for a reasonably fair conventional war. So go on, citizen. Abort your viable fetus. Stick instruments in the gelatinous mass of goo which otherwise would have been another infantrymen to fend off the Chinese hordes. When the world comes asunder and major urban centers are reduced to radioactive slag, we'll see just how convenient those fetus churros were. Alas, alas that great city Babylon, that mighty city!

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2008-07-19 03:30:57 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: Anyone who aborts a viable fetus should be charged with treason. That's a future tax payer and draftee they've just killed. Everyone laughs about it afterward, as they poke at the rotting corpse, but we'll see just how much fun they're having when the People's Liberation Army crosses the Strait of Taiwan with a bridge of dead conscripts. When the United States, with a population of a mere three hundred and some million, is tasked with tackling the behemoth of China in conventional warfare on the beaches of Taiwan and amongst the ruins of Taipei. The inability of the military to match the raw numbers of the People's Republic will necessitate the use of nuclear weapons. How long before those lower yield tactical weapons become strategic, megaton-strength warheads detonating above American and Chinese cities? All because American citizens refused to have enough babies to allow for a reasonably fair conventional war. So go on, citizen. Abort your viable fetus. Stick instruments in the gelatinous mass of goo which otherwise would have been another infantrymen to fend off the Chinese hordes. When the world comes asunder and major urban centers are reduced to radioactive slag, we'll see just how convenient those fetus churros were. Alas, alas that great city Babylon, that mighty city!

BRAVISSIMO!

You studied method acting for this role as a brain tumor, didn't you?

 
JerkyMeat 2008-07-19 03:45:16 AM  
GOPers: the enemy of freedom, liberty, and the U.S. Constitution.

 
xLizzieBordenx 2008-07-19 03:52:10 AM  
I DRTFA, too tired, do they mean oral contraception as in "The Pill" or oral contraception as in "Plan B"? To someone who thinks life begins at conception, I'd see how they would think Plan B was an abortion.

/almost said abbhortion...heh.
/mostly pro-choice

 
Ed Grubermann [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 03:52:46 AM  
BadGurl404: However, because some people wanting to work in hospitals and clinics may have moral or religious objections to these types of contraceptives, their objections have to be taken into account[.]

No they don't. If they are not professional enough to do their jobs they need new ones.

 
rosebud_the_sled 2008-07-19 03:52:47 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: Anyone who aborts a viable fetus should be charged with treason. ... great city Babylon, that mighty city!

What a wonderful ramble.

 
RemyDuron 2008-07-19 03:53:03 AM  
xLizzieBordenx: I DRTFA, too tired, do they mean oral contraception as in "The Pill" or oral contraception as in "Plan B"? To someone who thinks life begins at conception, I'd see how they would think Plan B was an abortion.

/almost said abbhortion...heh.
/mostly pro-choice

Conception or fetilization?

 
Malicious Bastard 2008-07-19 03:53:28 AM  
Lenny_da_Hog: co-conspirator: The stupider people become about science, the easier it is to get sh*t like this past them.

I believe that's the goal....


The "religious" right has been pushing an anti-contraceptive & anti-abortion agenda for decades.
This attempt has nothing to do with stupidity.

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2008-07-19 03:54:19 AM  
xLizzieBordenx: I DRTFA, too tired, do they mean oral contraception as in "The Pill" or oral contraception as in "Plan B"? To someone who thinks life begins at conception, I'd see how they would think Plan B was an abortion.

Since science (in which they don't believe) showed that "Plan B" usage results in a viable, fertile egg not becoming properly attached to the uterus, they consider it an abortion.

 
whereisian 2008-07-19 03:55:57 AM  
The Bushiates are scared of the numbers. The US is being seriously out-bred and fears much larger (perceived) ethnically homogeneous groups. The only option is to make lots of babies. But first you need oil to power everything.

Kinda like what Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: said, but less Rollins-ish.

 
xLizzieBordenx 2008-07-19 04:09:53 AM  
RemyDuron: xLizzieBordenx: I DRTFA, too tired, do they mean oral contraception as in "The Pill" or oral contraception as in "Plan B"? To someone who thinks life begins at conception, I'd see how they would think Plan B was an abortion.

/almost said abbhortion...heh.
/mostly pro-choice
Conception or fetilization?


Eh, the terms, I think, are pretty interchangeable. At least in this argument, because conception to pro-lifers is fertilization.

That sentence took far too long to conceive. I'm punning it up too much. It's time to go back to sleep

 
WFern 2008-07-19 04:16:13 AM  
outatime: Sabyen91: Waiting for anal contraceptives.

Ass babies?

/dibs on that as a band name


Does anyone remember a bit from The Daily Show, years and years back, that involved a man claiming to have been impregnated by space aliens? They apparently abducted him, and placed fertilized eggs in his rectum... Really.

Lenny_da_Hog: AirForceVet: I guess Republican women will have to brush up on their oral skills.

Silly. Republican women don't have sex.


Cunnilingus doesn't count (or at least you could try and argue that).

 
Nickers 2008-07-19 04:17:25 AM  
Once again, I'm so very glad I'm not American. Can't wait until Obama becomes president.

I was on the pill for over a year, for birth control reasons. But I know girls who were/are on it for menstrual reasons too, not just birth control.

And the US wonders why their teen pregnancy rates are so high. If you take away the means to prevent pregnancy, you're only going to end up with more teens on welfare, more unemployed single moms (for the ones not able to find a job or find affordable child care, etc), and so on.

Am I the only person who sees no logic in this?


Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: Anyone who aborts a viable fetus should be charged with treason. That's a future tax payer and draftee they've just killed. Everyone laughs about it afterward, as they poke at the rotting corpse, but we'll see just how much fun they're having when the People's Liberation Army crosses the Strait of Taiwan with a bridge of dead conscripts. When the United States, with a population of a mere three hundred and some million, is tasked with tackling the behemoth of China in conventional warfare on the beaches of Taiwan and amongst the ruins of Taipei. The inability of the military to match the raw numbers of the People's Republic will necessitate the use of nuclear weapons. How long before those lower yield tactical weapons become strategic, megaton-strength warheads detonating above American and Chinese cities? All because American citizens refused to have enough babies to allow for a reasonably fair conventional war. So go on, citizen. Abort your viable fetus. Stick instruments in the gelatinous mass of goo which otherwise would have been another infantrymen to fend off the Chinese hordes. When the world comes asunder and major urban centers are reduced to radioactive slag, we'll see just how convenient those fetus churros were. Alas, alas that great city Babylon, that mighty city!


Fail.

 
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor 2008-07-19 04:23:11 AM  
www.afa.org

All the people saying I'm "an absolute retard" and "haven't had my medications" need to open their eyes.

We're going to need those fetus. With the scarcity of resources accelerating we may soon find ourselves in a multi-polar world with no advantage whatsoever over our rivals.

Natural resources can only continue for so long and, more importantly, the unending demand for cheap manufactured goods accelerates the diffusion of wealth away from the United States. While this may be harmless enough, the question you must ask yourself is whether it is in the strategic interest of the United States for the People's Republic of China, a nation with some five times our population, to have access to equally sophisticated technology and an abundance of wealth to, should they choose, afford a military capable of surpassing our own.

Nor does the notion that a world with many competing major powers is a safer world hold water. More importantly, the United States is at a distinct disadvantage towards the People's Republic of China. Aside from the obvious superiority in raw numbers, a factor which in another era meant the use of tactical nuclear weapons in Europe against the Soviet Union was a reality, they also have ease of objective. China doesn't need to defeat the United States in open combat. It must merely deny the United States Navy access to the Strait and then invade Taiwan. Unless you plan on a limited (at best) or outrightnooclear exchange between the two powers, I hope you've got a plan for holding Taiwan against the hordes of People's Liberation Army as they stream across a bridge made of corpses. 'Cause for every man and woman the United States mobilizes, the PRC could mobilize five. Those are numbers which, even in the best of circumstances, do not bode well.

Going back to a situation in which there are many competing powers on the global scene, let us ponder for a moment. Perhaps some are nostalgic for the Cold War, but proxy-wars waged at behest of the Soviet Union and United States spanned the globe. From Angola to the jungles of Viet Nam, to nuclear brinkmanship over Cuba to a war with in Korea against Mao's China. Ethiopia and Somalia went at one another with the encouragement of the United States and Soviet Union, for God's sake. The world's most destitute and impoverished regions engaged in a struggles over little more than useless land, old hatreds and other useless shiat, funded and provided munitions by governments worlds away. That isn't peace. That isn't preferable.

Also, let us be realistic here. The People's Republic of China is no Soviet Union. It would not be the economic breadbasket the Soviet Union was. China committed to establishing itself as the next world power would surpass the United States.

Now, one could argue over the actual strategic value of Taiwan but the uncomfortable situation is that Washington has already stretched our neck out in defense of the island. Any reclamation by the mainland means the United States loses face. Of course, one could also get into an argument as to whether we should sell out a group of freedom loving people to their authoritarian neighbors for little more than cheap goods at Wal Mart, but that's another matter entirely.

 
starsrift 2008-07-19 04:43:53 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor:

Micro-dicked warmongers like you are what's wrong with the world. China doesn't want war with America, and they keep making gestures of peace to the USA. Unfortunately, your government keeps denying them and seems intent on fostering a cool relationship with China as it enters the modern stage.

Go ahead and lose your goddamn war that you want so bad. Sign up for it, too, and relieve the rest of us from your stupidity.
/ Probably just a troll

 
gothelder 2008-07-19 05:09:31 AM  
The ironic thing is that most of the country and the rest of the planet tends to define the Bush administration as an abortion.

\ srsly

 
Hobodeluxe [TotalFark] 2008-07-19 05:10:12 AM  
GOP = American Taliban

 
Seth'n'Spectrum 2008-07-19 05:31:13 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor:

As a US citizen currently living in China, I'm getting a kick out of this response.

No but seriously, I see your point but would like to point out several things that make me disagree with you.

First, yes, as starsrift so kindly pointed out, China doesn't want war with the US. Why? Because China would lose. It does not have a military/industrial complex to match the United States, it does not have the military projection capabilities of the United States, and it is several decades behind in terms of military technology. In fact, most of the rest of the world is so far behind the US in terms of modern war-fighting capabilities that it is arguable whether anyone can ever catch up. I realize that you are talking about future generations, about 30, 50, 80 years in the future. Fine, so lets talk about the long term. China and the US are about the same size, no? But the US is far more blessed as far as arable land and resources go, and China may see its population size as a burden, not a boon. The United States also has a unique strategic situation that stems from its geography. While China has to worry about a resurgent Russia to its north and a booming India to its south, the US has Canada and Mexico for neighbours. In the long term China will have to worry about its borders, while the US will have relatively less headaches (aside from the Mexican immigration problem).

Secondly, this all presumes that China and the United States will be competitors. You argue that a bipolar world is a bad thing because the fifty year US-Soviet Cold War spawned lots of peripheral violence and therefore the prevalence of the US is a good thing. This can be disputed, in fact, it is questionable whether a superpower US trying to impose its rules on the rest of the world will engender much of a positive response. We are a far way from multipolarity, and while I don't support a return to 19th century diplomacy, I think supporting a "one + inferiors" form of polarity may serve US security better in the long term than a protracted attempt to preserve hegemony.

Anyhow, I've gone off topic. An increase in birth rates will not aid the US if it chooses strategies that are antagonistic and puts it at odds with states from which we can benefit.

Oh right, and my original point that I've completely forgotten. The US was founded to allow its citizens a certain degree of freedom, both positive and negative. What's the point of taking away our freedom to use contraception just because it preserves the system? There's no point in supporting an ideology that has robbed itself of all substance in order to continue its own existence. That's what happened to Soviet style communism, and I would hate for it to happen to our great country.

 
randomjsa 2008-07-19 05:37:09 AM  
starsrift: Micro-dicked warmongers like you are what's wrong with the world. China doesn't want war with America, and they keep making gestures of peace to the USA. Unfortunately, your government keeps denying them and seems intent on fostering a cool relationship with China as it enters the modern stage.

The only gesture China is interested in is one that involves a middle finger and the only agreements they are interested in making are the ones that benefit themselves more than us. By no stretch of the imagination is China doing anything other than screwing us over every chance they get. Fools like you were saying this sort of thing a couple of decades ago when we were trying to deal with the Soviet Union.

You were wrong then, you are wrong now. History has proven so time and time again.

 
starsrift 2008-07-19 06:18:39 AM  
randomjsa: starsrift: Micro-dicked warmongers like you are what's wrong with the world. China doesn't want war with America, and they keep making gestures of peace to the USA. Unfortunately, your government keeps denying them and seems intent on fostering a cool relationship with China as it enters the modern stage.

The only gesture China is interested in is one that involves a middle finger and the only agreements they are interested in making are the ones that benefit themselves more than us. By no stretch of the imagination is China doing anything other than screwing us over every chance they get. Fools like you were saying this sort of thing a couple of decades ago when we were trying to deal with the Soviet Union.

You were wrong then, you are wrong now. History has proven so time and time again.


How very capitalistic - China wants to make deals that benefit China more than America! How silly of them! Truely, you're so very correct. They should be looking to make deals that benefit America more than China - that would certainly make the most sense for the Chinese!

Given that an altruistic attitude is what's really necessary in global politics and economics, America should just want to give China the better deal anyway, right? So what's the problem?

/ Oh, I'm sorry, is sarcasm not supposed to be a sledgehammer?

 
beefstu01 2008-07-19 06:44:35 AM  
Ted Kennedy's Brain Tumor: Anyone who aborts a viable fetus should be charged with treason. That's a future tax payer and draftee they've just killed. Everyone laughs about it afterward, as they poke at the rotting corpse, but we'll see just how much fun they're having when the People's Liberation Army crosses the Strait of Taiwan with a bridge of dead conscripts. When the United States, with a population of a mere three hundred and some million, is tasked with tackling the behemoth of China in conventional warfare on the beaches of Taiwan and amongst the ruins of Taipei. The inability of the military to match the raw numbers of the People's Republic will necessitate the use of nuclear weapons. How long before those lower yield tactical weapons become strategic, megaton-strength warheads detonating above American and Chinese cities? All because American citizens refused to have enough babies to allow for a reasonably fair conventional war. So go on, citizen. Abort your viable fetus. Stick instruments in the gelatinous mass of goo which otherwise would have been another infantrymen to fend off the Chinese hordes. When the world comes asunder and major urban centers are reduced to radioactive slag, we'll see just how convenient those fetus churros were. Alas, alas that great city Babylon, that mighty city!

Oh wow, I have to give this a 9.5/10... haven't seen anything this great in a long time! There were a few lines there in the middle where there could have been some more buzzwords, like "terrorist," "jihad," "Russians," "social security," or other associated things. But color me impressed... I've been laughing for the last few minutes. Go have a beer!

 
monoski 2008-07-19 07:31:52 AM  
Seth'n'Spectrum - China does need to go to war with us. They have already put a significant deposit down now have the US on lay-away. Ten more payments and it is all theirs.

 
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