If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark

         more options... Create account

(Contact Music) Stupid Because making actual songs would just be too artsy, Gene Simmons fronts a new reality show which will see contestants composing music jingles for commercials   (contactmusic.com) divider line 47
More: Stupid  
•       •       •

467 clicks; posted to Music » on 17 Jul 2008 at 9:54 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

47 Comments   (+0 »)


Archived thread
 
tnpir [TotalFark] 2008-07-17 09:17:41 AM  
You know, I used to be a big admirer of Gene Simmons. Then I made the mistake of reading his autobiography. He is without a doubt the most arrogant attention whore on the planet.

Although, his A&E show is admittedly a lot of fun. He's raised what appear to be two pretty good kids.

 
NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark] 2008-07-17 09:19:21 AM  
It'll sound a lot better coming out of Paul Anka.

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2008-07-17 09:37:26 AM  
There's never been a bigger expert on cashing in and selling out via music than Gene, so this makes a perverse sort of sense, actually.

 
Rickenbacker 2008-07-17 09:58:59 AM  
Yeah, Gene's an attention-whoring, money-grubbing ass. But...more power to him on this. If this leads to ad agencies using jingles instead of cutting up a classic rock song, good.

 
Onkel Buck 2008-07-17 10:04:07 AM  
Meh, thats the same job Uncle Joey and Uncle Jesse had on "Full House"

 
Guntram Shatterhand 2008-07-17 10:04:17 AM  
Rickenbacker: Yeah, Gene's an attention-whoring, money-grubbing ass. But...more power to him on this. If this leads to ad agencies using jingles instead of cutting up a classic rock song, good.

He's still selling out. Now he's just conning people while posing as their ersatz label. The only upside is that we don't have to see him running around in his underwear or dealing with his common law wife.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-07-17 10:05:42 AM  
tnpir: You know, I used to be a big admirer of Gene Simmons.

So you're getting a kick out of some of these responses?

 
FloridaAsshat 2008-07-17 10:06:49 AM  
Will someone (i.e. everyone) please stop paying attention to this has-been schlock-rocker? What the hell?

I was a KISS fan in the 70's, saw them on Thanksgiving day 1976 on the Destroyer tour. Guess what? By the time I was 15 I had lost interest.

 
Billygoat Gruff 2008-07-17 10:07:07 AM  
Rickenbacker: Yeah, Gene's an attention-whoring, money-grubbing ass. But...more power to him on this. If this leads to ad agencies using jingles instead of cutting up a classic rock song, good.

I agree, even the Cadillac ad using Led Zeppelin's "Rock and Roll" or The Hummer ad with the Who song, offended me, and I don't even have a lawn!

 
Guntram Shatterhand 2008-07-17 10:08:41 AM  
FloridaAsshat: Will someone (i.e. everyone) please stop paying attention to this has-been schlock-rocker? What the hell?

I was a KISS fan in the 70's, saw them on Thanksgiving day 1976 on the Destroyer tour. Guess what? By the time I was 15 I had lost interest.


This.

They're not even good singers. Their music sucks. Personally, GWAR has better music that's more in line with dressing up and trying to be hardcore. I never got over KISS looking insane and yet playing pathetic rock. Who really cares about Gene Simmons? Without McFarlane Toys bringing out KISS action figures back in the late '90s, nobody would really care.

 
DWitchiewoman 2008-07-17 10:11:45 AM  
I have to admit,

I thought his "School of Rock" reality show was kinda smart.
I think the kids learned something too.
I liked it.

 
Great_Milenko 2008-07-17 10:16:05 AM  
After Psycho Circus and Asshole, I'd rather see him doing this than making more crappy music.

 
BobXXL 2008-07-17 10:17:17 AM  
img329.imageshack.us

 
bass555 2008-07-17 10:23:53 AM  
It's a thin line between single and jingle.

/not mine

 
Bondidude 2008-07-17 10:38:07 AM  
Gene Simmons used rock and roll to become what I think he was truly intended to be.

A business man.

I've seen a few episodes of his reality show, and he's always looking for some new business venture to get into. He's a decent idea man, although some of them may be a bit outlandish but you can see them working.

And Kiss sold out the second they stepped on stage. How many other bands, even back in their day had action figures and all kinds of other merchandise?

Once again, decent musician, brilliant businessman.

 
vernonFL [TotalFark] 2008-07-17 10:46:48 AM  
You know who else started out writing jingles?

Barry Manilow. He wrote some of the more memorable ones of the last 40 years.

 
thehun101 2008-07-17 11:01:10 AM  
I've seen the future. You know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin, sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing, "I'm an Oscar Meyer wiener."

/Why am I the first with a quote from this movie?

 
Heroic Poser 2008-07-17 11:04:22 AM  
tnpir: You know, I used to be a big admirer of Gene Simmons. Then I made the mistake of reading his autobiography. He is without a doubt the most arrogant attention whore on the planet.


He was on Loveline last night. Basically, he sees himself as Ali. When Ali says "I am the greatest.", he just had the overwhelming confidence that others didn't have.
And ya, the thing is, he's a admitted he's an asshole.
He also said rock is dead. Pretty interesting. He was saying how Country, kids from Disney and Rap are all ok and doing fine, but rock fans killed the thing they love most by file sharing.
Bands like the Killers made it "under the wire", but for the most part, rock bands can't sell albums.
I'm assuming he means (and there's probably a little truth to this) that people who listen to Country, Disney and rap just don't file share as much. I think he's right.

 
J. Frank Parnell 2008-07-17 11:13:22 AM  
Heroic Poser: I'm assuming he means (and there's probably a little truth to this) that people who listen to Country, Disney and rap just don't file share as much. I think he's right.

Dr.Dre would like a word with you.

 
madcan34 2008-07-17 11:17:35 AM  
Bondidude: Once again, decent musician, brilliant businessman.

Who apparently can't come up with his own jingles so he gets other people to do it for him.

 
DWitchiewoman 2008-07-17 11:20:02 AM  
Heroic Poser:
He also said rock is dead. Pretty interesting. He was saying how Country, kids from Disney and Rap are all ok and doing fine, but rock fans killed the thing they love most by file sharing.
Bands like the Killers made it "under the wire", but for the most part, rock bands can't sell albums.
I'm assuming he means (and there's probably a little truth to this) that people who listen to Country, Disney and rap just don't file share as much. I think he's right.


I blame The Grateful Dead. All that bootlegging distribution. Never a need for a top 40 hit, only acheving that once, it's thier fault.
They demonstrated to the industry the power of sold out shows. Bill Graham was pretty crafty. He sold performers performing live. They can even sell us copies of shows we already have, with better sound quality. We purchase the same songs multiple times, because it was different that night. They have proven it's best to put the material in the hands of the fans. Don't get me started on the brilliance of the Tapers Pit.

Yeah, filesharing/bootlegging is not the problem with Rock today.
It just kinda sucks these days.

 
mcongraff 2008-07-17 11:23:09 AM  
Uh, I don't want to state the obvious, but THE MAN WAS IN KISS for Fark sake! That was the sell-out!! Everything since then is just a continuation. Now, I still play my original issue KISS vinyl at obnoxious volumes, and I laugh my ass off when I occasionally watch his reality show. But it's the same quality. This is not a case of their music being more legitimate than Gene's reality show. Both are mass media and pop culture. He's making money for the some folks now that he did as a member of KISS. And he's fortunate enough to get a nice chunk of change for himself both times.

 
FeedTheCollapse 2008-07-17 11:39:16 AM  
...because Kiss screams "Artistic Integrity"?


Rickenbacker: Yeah, Gene's an attention-whoring, money-grubbing ass. But...more power to him on this. If this leads to ad agencies using jingles instead of cutting up a classic rock song, good.

so you'd rather be able to recite the ingredients in a Big Mac for the rest of your farking life rather than a having a REAL song played over a commercial to at least make said commercial a little more bearable? Granted, we'll probably be stuck with something stupid like "Melt With You" used for Burger King, but really, people enjoy jingles? I down-right farking hate commercials, but the 10-second snippet of Zeppelin at least makes me temporarily forget that I hate commercials.

 
Crude 2008-07-17 11:39:46 AM  
KI$$.

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-07-17 11:52:24 AM  
Heroic Poser: He also said rock is dead. Pretty interesting. He was saying how Country, kids from Disney and Rap are all ok and doing fine, but rock fans killed the thing they love most by file sharing.
Bands like the Killers made it "under the wire", but for the most part, rock bands can't sell albums.
I'm assuming he means (and there's probably a little truth to this) that people who listen to Country, Disney and rap just don't file share as much. I think he's right.


If RIAA had looked at what was going on ten years ago and come to the conclusion that they needed to get into the online download market instead of telling listeners that they would have to continue purchasing their price-fixed CD's, listeners would have transitioned from CD's to online purchases instead of file-sharing mp3's of dubious quality. Instead, they freaked out and said that we would continue to do it their way OR ELSE.

The music industry is dead, and RIAA killed it.

 
mofomisfit 2008-07-17 12:09:48 PM  
Ace Frehley's Ghost

Aw, you're just jealous that you're too dead to collect on payday with Gene!

 
Ace Frehley's Ghost 2008-07-17 12:20:46 PM  
mofomisfit: Ace Frehley's Ghost

Aw, you're just jealous that you're too dead to collect on payday with Gene!


Yeah, I was dead... but I got better.

/Ace is back cause I told you so!

 
FarktheHeraldAngelSings 2008-07-17 12:36:09 PM  
Okay... so where the he!! are the pics of Gene's daughter?

 
Rickenbacker 2008-07-17 12:56:22 PM  
FeedTheCollapse: ...because Kiss screams "Artistic Integrity"?


Rickenbacker: Yeah, Gene's an attention-whoring, money-grubbing ass. But...more power to him on this. If this leads to ad agencies using jingles instead of cutting up a classic rock song, good.

so you'd rather be able to recite the ingredients in a Big Mac for the rest of your farking life rather than a having a REAL song played over a commercial to at least make said commercial a little more bearable? Granted, we'll probably be stuck with something stupid like "Melt With You" used for Burger King, but really, people enjoy jingles? I down-right farking hate commercials, but the 10-second snippet of Zeppelin at least makes me temporarily forget that I hate commercials.


Yes. I'd rather hear jingles. Leave my music alone. I'd post the "leave Britney alone" chick, but I'm too busy singing "Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us" in my head.

 
ryan_coke 2008-07-17 12:59:53 PM  
I bet all the publishing is signed over to him.

/I also bet that this show will be just as scripted as his current one on A&E.

 
swaxhog 2008-07-17 01:14:20 PM  
What a great idea. Now I can fast forward through not only the commercials outside the show, I can fast forward through the obvious selling in the show.

 
MmmBadEggs 2008-07-17 01:35:04 PM  
Gene Simmons is a talentless asshole with a misguided and despicable contempt for any musician who considers themself an artist, as opposed to a shill. To him, a musician who doesn't sell out immediately (or, God-forbid, plays simply because they enjoy to) is an idiot.

All of this garbage most-likely stems from the fact that he's an absolutely terrible fu*king bassist, who couldn't improve with a million years of practice...

But he's cornered the market on KISS-branded coffins, so congrats are in order, I suppose.

 
Guntram Shatterhand 2008-07-17 01:36:56 PM  
UCFRoadWarrior: Simmons rocks...his Family Jewels show is the bst of the reality shows.

That's like saying you're all better because the Herpes sores have scabbed over and stopped leaking pus.

 
sunlion 2008-07-17 01:39:19 PM  
I blame The Grateful Dead.

Yeah, I think it's kind of kewl that a bunch of freaks on acid and shrooms invented one of the most successful and appealing business models since the advent of the industrial revolution. A few generations from now, they might still be remembered for their business model, with "oh and they also were a popular performing group" merely a footnote.

Simmons is probably just envious that bands today can make it today by having actual talent, as opposed to his own ass-clownedness.

 
mcongraff 2008-07-17 02:09:14 PM  
Musicians needing to go on tour to make money goes back to the invention of the horse.

 
barneyfifesbullet 2008-07-17 02:30:36 PM  
his Family Jewels show is the bst of the reality shows.

It's certainly the most fake. Not a single unscripted moment on that show, that I have seen.

 
aszure 2008-07-17 02:31:44 PM  
FU Gene.

 
botis 2008-07-17 04:22:22 PM  
fark all the fighting over why he's a sellout or why he's cool for being successful...all you need to know about the guy is in that sextape from several months back.

The dude claims to have banged how many thousand chicks? I can still believe that, but he performed with all the gusto of a nursing home resident taking a shiate. I mean, even if he didn't wanna put effort into it, it was BORING. A lame BJ and then...he doesn't even take his pants all the way off. If I remember correctly he still has socks and shoes on the whole time. I don't care how gross it is to fark Gene Simmons, it's even worse when he pulls his pants down like a 3-year-old boy taking a piss and tries to kiss this poor girl. If I was Gene I would have chicks doing the most depraved acts I could think of for hours at a time. May sound like a I'm a dick, but that's what rock stars are SUPPOSED to do. Be vile, be disgusting, but back it up in real life. Seriously, how often do you really think the man has used his "famous tongue." It's been burrowed in Satan's arse for the last 35 years.

not rock'n'roll in the least

 
AgentOrangeDrink 2008-07-17 04:38:40 PM  
Guntram Shatterhand: UCFRoadWarrior: Simmons rocks...his Family Jewels show is the bst of the reality shows.

That's like saying you're all better because the Herpes sores have scabbed over and stopped leaking pus.


We have a winnah!

 
IQ7ZuuIU 2008-07-17 04:42:49 PM  
"just don't look, just don't look".

 
darch 2008-07-17 06:43:21 PM  
That's Mr.$immon$ to you, young man.

/Or Chaim Weitz
//either or
///still the God of Thunder

 
deevo 2008-07-17 07:00:28 PM  
I saw someone on Fark call him "the rock and roll jew" in an article about his support for Giuliani's presidential campaign. I think that's such a great nickname. The only band I hate more than The Eagles... is KISS.

 
cast55 2008-07-18 12:37:26 AM  
Gene Simmons has made a considerable phenomenon of himself, considering that he is an entirely unremarkable bass player.

-Sean

 
irockalot 2008-07-18 12:55:57 AM  
Five.

 
irockalot 2008-07-18 12:56:34 AM  
Five dollar.

 
irockalot 2008-07-18 12:57:15 AM  
Five dollar foot long.

 
kanesays 2008-07-18 01:18:00 AM  
Every notice that Gene Simmons does or says something stupid every Thursday?


//Just wanted to know if anyone else noticed?

 
Displayed 47 of 47 comments


[Continue Farking]