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(Starpulse) Unlikely Miley Cyrus vows to stay chaste until marriage, or at least until she gets out of her Disney contract   (starpulse.com) divider line 139
More: Unlikely  
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2711 clicks; posted to Showbiz » on 16 Jul 2008 at 12:15 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

139 Comments   (+0 »)


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Tat'dGreaser [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 10:20:28 AM  
Suuuuuuure

 
NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 10:21:02 AM  
Miley Cyrus vows to stay chaste until marriage, or at least until she gets out of her Disney contract shower

 
Sybarite [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 10:26:06 AM  
Two words: technical virginity

 
oldfarthenry [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 10:31:30 AM  
Does this apply to the `servants entrance' as well?

 
Howie Spankowitz [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 10:46:11 AM  
This worked out real well for Britney Spears.

 
tgregory 2008-07-16 10:51:35 AM  
5 years later...

prenatalvitamins.files.wordpress.com

 
dj_bigbird [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 11:03:00 AM  
Well, if nothing else, her dad will be there to record the big day for her.

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 11:06:57 AM  
She'll be pregnant in 18 months

 
steveurkel [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 11:34:45 AM  
I like to think of myself as the girl that no one can get

you arrogant wench. now your downfall will be swift and hilarious.

 
liquidlen [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 11:37:03 AM  
liquidlen's article translator:

Miley Cyrus is determined to stay a virgin until she weds, insisting she gets a thrill from staying pure.

Translated:
Miley Cyrus is not a virgin.

 
runty little girl 2008-07-16 11:54:48 AM  
This is why the Disney tweens goes crazy like Lohan and Britney, they have to fit this socially perfect little mold. No drinking or sex, which their peers are often engaging in. Disney sells the sweet little girl act even if the girls they have hired are anything but. Basically it's "Mormon girl that has just left the parents house for the first time" syndrome. Put a girl in a over control environment were every move is watched and when that control is removed, they go crazy. Unfortunately they make up for years of repressed urges in a short amount of time and completely overdue it.

 
MayoBoy 2008-07-16 11:56:21 AM  
Sybarite: Two words: technical virginity

Which gives new meaning to the words in "Nobody's Perfect":

But I know I always get it right in the end

/yes, I know the words
//7 year old daughter
///OK, I'll have a seat right over there

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:12:22 PM  
That means she's a demon at giving head. Good for her.

 
Psumek 2008-07-16 12:18:09 PM  
www.dirtydirtybuttsecks.com

 
Atomic Jonb 2008-07-16 12:20:56 PM  
I though she was getting power-farked by some 20 year old?

 
Your Neighborhood Pessimist 2008-07-16 12:22:38 PM  
Atomic Jonb: I though she was getting power-farked by some 20 year old? disney executive

FTFY

 
DarkHold 2008-07-16 12:22:56 PM  
runty little girl

8) :| I see what you did there!

 
InferiousX [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:24:27 PM  
Atomic Jonb: I though she was getting power-farked by some 20 year old?

I'm 26.

 
dajek 2008-07-16 12:24:52 PM  
What head trauma led her to believe anyone gives a shiat?

 
Robert1966 [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:26:09 PM  
runty little girl: Unfortunately they make up for years of repressed urges in a short amount of time and completely overdue it.

They hold on to their library books too long?

That voodoo that they "due" so well?

 
zappaisfrank [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:27:14 PM  
I wasn't aware there was this huge lineup of guys desperate to bone her?

It's easy to stay a virgin when no one wants to fark you.

 
dothemath 2008-07-16 12:27:51 PM  
runty little girl: This is why the Disney tweens goes crazy like Lohan and Britney, they have to fit this socially perfect little mold. No drinking or sex, which their peers are often engaging in. Disney sells the sweet little girl act even if the girls they have hired are anything but. Basically it's "Mormon girl that has just left the parents house for the first time" syndrome. Put a girl in a over control environment were every move is watched and when that control is removed, they go crazy. Unfortunately they make up for years of repressed urges in a short amount of time and completely overdue it.

THIS

The virgin/whore thing is bizarre to me. Keeping girls sexually inactive well into their twenties is unnatural.People are designed to start farking in their adolescence, telling them not to do it doesnt work. God forbid anyone enjoy doing something we are all meant to do. I was in France recently and they, rightly, laugh at us for shiat like this.

///will not have a seat over there
////she should fark some 15 year old or whatever

 
emocomputerjock 2008-07-16 12:28:07 PM  
zappaisfrank: I wasn't aware there was this huge lineup of guys desperate to bone her?

It's easy to stay a virgin when no one wants to fark you.


I just want to wear her face as a mask.

 
Whatthefark 2008-07-16 12:28:10 PM  
Her daddy says shes the best French kisser though.

 
Lizard 2008-07-16 12:28:38 PM  
tgregory 2008-07-16 10:51:35 AM
5 years later...

YUP!

 
Tackboard 2008-07-16 12:29:27 PM  
Sybarite: Two words: technical virginity

yes, it means she's saving her vag for her future husband, but right now is just going to be a huge anal/oral slut...

 
Chastain86 2008-07-16 12:30:36 PM  
Several people already beat me to it, but it's almost as if nobody remembers going through all this with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan already.

History, doomed to repeat it, etc.

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:31:52 PM  
dj_bigbird: Well, if nothing else, her dad will be there to record the big day for her.

...if not participate.

 
wood 2008-07-16 12:33:50 PM  
can i hit it yet?

 
ltrain2 2008-07-16 12:34:26 PM  
PICTURES!

 
mitchcumstein1 [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:36:01 PM  
Tackboard yes, it means she's saving her vag for her future husband, but right now is just going to be a huge anal/oral slut...

Why not both???

 
dothemath 2008-07-16 12:36:03 PM  
Every time I hear about one of these teen-age Disney ho's I imagine Goofy and Donald Duck going to town on that pussy, with maybe Dumbo filming.

 
offacue 2008-07-16 12:36:07 PM  
Miley Cyrus vows to stay chaste chased until marriage, or at least until she gets out of her Disney contract

ftfy

 
Monkeypillow 2008-07-16 12:36:23 PM  
IXI Jim IXI: dj_bigbird: Well, if nothing else, her dad will be there to record the big day for her.

...if not participate.


Exclusively?

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:39:53 PM  
Robert1966: runty little girl: Unfortunately they make up for years of repressed urges in a short amount of time and completely overdue it.

They hold on to their library books too long?

That voodoo that they "due" so well?


Oh, look! A case in point.

Also:

Dear Miley:

Remain chaste? Tell me another fairytale. Like the one where your daddy pulls out and spills you on the floor instead of inflicting us with your existence.

DIAF, KTHXBAI.

Sincerely yours,

Sarcastica75

 
crazywisdom_uk 2008-07-16 12:40:21 PM  
Sure, honey.

Jebus.

 
PowerSlacker 2008-07-16 12:44:31 PM  
Atomic Jonb:

I though she was getting power-farked by her father.

Fixed.

 
Hester Prynne 2008-07-16 12:44:52 PM  
Forget about dead pools, we should start preggers pools for occaisons such as these.

 
Persnickety 2008-07-16 12:45:08 PM  
Sarcastica75:
Also:

Dear Miley:

Remain chaste? Tell me another fairytale. Like the one where your daddy pulls out and spills you on the floor instead of inflicting us with your existence.

DIAF, KTHXBAI.

Sincerely yours,

Sarcastica75



Damn. That was kinda hot. The ending was a bit violent though. Got any more fairy tales?

 
IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:45:54 PM  
Monkeypillow: Exclusively?

Dunno. He might need someone to hold the camcorder.

 
inserthandlehere 2008-07-16 12:47:44 PM  
What about in the ear?

 
reddfrogg [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:48:55 PM  
"was she chaste?"

"Yes ma'm, all over the island".

 
Monkeypillow 2008-07-16 12:49:05 PM  
mitchcumstein1: Tackboard yes, it means she's saving her vag for her future husband, but right now is just going to be a huge anal/oral slut...

Why not both???


You never go ass to mouth!

 
Richard Pye 2008-07-16 12:49:50 PM  
Monkeypillow: You never go ass to mouth!

Yeah, but come on, this is Miley Cyrus we're talking about. You've got to bring out the big guns.

 
Rea1ity56 2008-07-16 12:53:03 PM  
Either she'll be pregnant within the next year, or she'll be a virgin forever.

How would she expect to ever get married when no unmarried guy will stay with a woman that isn't putting out. Either that or he'll marry her while getting poon from Paris or one of the other slutards.

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2008-07-16 12:53:46 PM  
Statistics show that most people who make "no sex until marriage" vows wind up banging sooner than those who don't.

 
CastorPimp 2008-07-16 12:54:04 PM  
I'd eat cereal out of her ass

 
Kar98 2008-07-16 12:54:43 PM  
Rrrraight.

 
Rea1ity56 2008-07-16 12:54:46 PM  
Where's the family guy reference?

 
TUO3MTA3 2008-07-16 12:55:11 PM  
CastorPimp Quote 2008-07-16 12:54:04 PM
I'd eat cereal out of her ass


Me too. None of that generic stuff in the bags though, that tastes funny.

 
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