shortly after getting on himself, he will discover internet porn and begin getting off himself.

why the fark would you ADMIT to not knowing how to get on the internet. WTF! even my 80 year old granny knwos that...

As soon as he figures out that it's not a big truck, he'll be all over them tubes.

I can see him during the debates:

"Why just the other day, I read on the AOL..."

CheddarPants: I can see him during the debates:

"Why just the other day, I read on the AOL..."

OH MY GAWD, what a freaky thought.

Maybe he just needs to shake his laptop to reboot it.

Mordant: Maybe he just needs to shake his laptop to reboot it.

I hear that's why he isn't allowed to hold babies...

i don't trust any candidate not smart enough to download porn.

Party Boy

Oh - nicely played. Well done old chap.

Reminds me of something my grandfather asked me before buying his first computer. Cracked me up so hard I made it my sig:

"So, this 'Internet' of yours...how many things are on it?"

General:
President McCain, we must respond to the Iranian threat:



McCain: Ehh, that doesn't look so bad...

General: How about now?



McCain: Oh, my God, we must counter that. There's no way anyone could have faked that.

At the debate, I'd love to see Obama hand McCain a laptop and say, "Here. Check your email."

JerseyTim: At the debate, I'd love to see Obama hand McCain a laptop and say, "Here. Check your email."

Does he know how to look to the Youtube?

GET THAT MAN A FARK ACCOUNT, QUICK.

It does demonstrate that he's a bit out of touch. Al Gore invented teh aols over 15 years ago.

I find the thought of a computer illiterate authoritarian gasbag president to be strangly comforting. After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

Weaver95: After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

Yeah, right.

The Onanist: Weaver95: After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

Yeah, right.

No really - he can't. Just look at all the problems that RIAA has with the intertubes. Tons of lawyers, lots of cash on hand, plenty of thuggery nationwide and despite all that firepower they haven't made a dent in file trading.

There isn't much the law can do about technology.

Weaver95: I find the thought of a computer illiterate authoritarian gasbag president to be strangly comforting. After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

oh i wouldn't worry. the lobbyists will submit legislation, and either the democrats will pass it themselves, or the republicans will get it passed of plenty of "strenuous objection" (but little actual action) from the democrats.
And voila. We get hosed.

SilentStrider: Weaver95: I find the thought of a computer illiterate authoritarian gasbag president to be strangly comforting. After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

oh i wouldn't worry. the lobbyists will submit legislation, and either the democrats will pass it themselves, or the republicans will get it passed of plenty of "strenuous objection" (but little actual action) from the democrats.
And voila. We get hosed.

yeah, but if RIAA is any indication at all, the lobbyist crowd is just as clueless as the politicans. years of law school doesn't exactly prepare one to write a law concering IP spoofing and port scanners.

He'll definitely be using webcrawler to navigate with.

Is the man really this pathetic?

Maybe this is some sort of clever tactic to court the AARP crowd.

kaminariko: Is the man really this pathetic?

Maybe this is some sort of clever tactic to court the AARP crowd.

But everyone knows a few old folks online. I'd imagine they'd look down on the inability of a president to learn what they learned.

Granted, it is the folks that elected George 'I'll have a beer with that guy' Bush.

I think the scary tag is less that he doesn't know how to use the interwebs, but more that he will soon be here among us...

watching us from the shadows...

with those dark, soulless eyes...

/shudder

I wonder how many hours of internet usage he'll prepay for on his 'Prodigy' account?

Weaver95: The Onanist: Weaver95: After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

Yeah, right.

No really - he can't. Just look at all the problems that RIAA has with the intertubes. Tons of lawyers, lots of cash on hand, plenty of thuggery nationwide and despite all that firepower they haven't made a dent in file trading.

There isn't much the law can do about technology.

That's incredibly naive.

That's like saying that a toddler with a bazooka would be safe in a china shop because they don't understand how to use a fork.

Tusken_Raiders: I think the scary tag is less that he doesn't know how to use the interwebs, but more that he will soon be here among us...

watching us from the shadows...

with those dark, soulless eyes...

/shudder

That would be Bevets.

I'd venture a guess that the majority of 3+ term Senators don't know squat about computers in general. They're surrounded by aides that are paid to advise them, so there's no incentive for them to learn.

TheRockinDonkey: I'd venture a guess that the majority of 3+ term Senators don't know squat about computers in general. They're surrounded by aides that are paid to advise them, so there's no incentive for them to learn.

That's gotta be a sweet gig, "Oh yes Senator, I'm Farking researching right now."

Just wait until he upgrades to Lawn 2.0! Of course, that'll require Pancakes 1.7.

Abner Doon: That's like saying that a toddler with a bazooka would be safe in a china shop because they don't understand how to use a fork.

Now imagine that the toddler can't figure out how to work the safety lock on the bazooka and that the china shop regenerates damage all by itself.

TheRockinDonkey: I'd venture a guess that the majority of 3+ term Senators don't know squat about computers in general. They're surrounded by aides that are paid to advise them, so there's no incentive for them to learn.

Someone should have some kind of PSA informing these geezers that there is free porn on the internet. They'd be trolling FARK within weeks.

I hope this is the second place he visits
john mccain forum (new window)

Jesus, first he starts watching the cables, and now this?

Weaver95: I find the thought of a computer illiterate authoritarian gasbag president to be strangly comforting. After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

O'rly?

Senator: Illegal images must be reported (new window)

The legislation, drafted by Sen. John McCain and obtained by CNET News.com, would also require Web sites that offer user profiles to delete pages posted by sex offenders.

In a speech on the Senate floor Wednesday, the Arizona Republican and former presidential candidate warned that "technology has contributed to the greater distribution and availability, and, some believe, desire for child pornography." McCain scored 31 of 100 points on a News.com 2006 election guide scoring technology-related votes.

After child pornography or some forms of "obscenity" are found and reported, the Web site must retain any "information relating to the facts or circumstances" of the incident for at least six months. Webmasters would be immune from civil and criminal liability if they followed the specified procedures exactly.


update: Millions of commercial Web sites and personal blogs would be required to report illegal images or videos posted by their users or pay fines of up to $300,000, if a new proposal in the U.S. Senate came into law.

I hope someone tells him that a big thread to his candidacy is an upstart new party known as the Lemon Party.

Threat, dammit.

AgentOrangeDrink: I hope someone tells him that a big thread to his candidacy is an upstart new party known as the Lemon Party.

Headed by Dick Cheney?

Weaver95: Abner Doon: That's like saying that a toddler with a bazooka would be safe in a china shop because they don't understand how to use a fork.

Now imagine that the toddler can't figure out how to work the safety lock on the bazooka and that the china shop regenerates damage all by itself.

Except McCain is probably going to be at least able enough to work that safety lock (he can set policy and push laws to be introduced I assume, he's not completely retarded), and the china shop simply isn't invincible as much as some would have us believe.

One of my fears if he is elected is that he won't be savy enough to see through the bullshiat peddled by the telcos and cable companies. How is he going to have any kind of rational position on network neutrality, for example? He's far more likely to just cave and not give a shiat if he has never even used the internet and doesn't understand the power of everyone having a somewhat equal voice.

Donald_McRonald: AgentOrangeDrink: I hope someone tells him that a big thread to his candidacy is an upstart new party known as the Lemon Party.

Headed by Dick Cheney?

He does like shooting people in the face.

In 2008, the newly redeveloped Maverick went online and became self-aware.

Weaver95: Now imagine that the toddler can't figure out how to work the safety lock on the bazooka and that the china shop regenerates damage all by itself.

It looks like he figured out the safety lock:


Millions of commercial Web sites and personal blogs would be required to report illegal images or videos posted by their users or pay fines of up to $300,000, if a new proposal in the U.S. Senate came into law.

AgentOrangeDrink: Donald_McRonald: AgentOrangeDrink: I hope someone tells him that a big thread to his candidacy is an upstart new party known as the Lemon Party.

Headed by Dick Cheney?

He does like shooting people in the face.

And it wouldn't be a Lemon Party without old Dick.

Weaver95: I find the thought of a computer illiterate authoritarian gasbag president to be strangly comforting. After all - he can't control what he dosen't understand....

The power to destroy something -- even out of complete ignorance -- is the ultimate control.

The thing that bugs me is that a computer-illiterate executive won't have computer literacy as a priority in appointing federal judges.

Donald_McRonald: AgentOrangeDrink: Donald_McRonald: AgentOrangeDrink: I hope someone tells him that a big thread to his candidacy is an upstart new party known as the Lemon Party.

Headed by Dick Cheney?

He does like shooting people in the face.

And it wouldn't be a Lemon Party without old Dick.

Damn skippy. No Bush allowed though.

Who cares. Some of the smartest, most successful people in the world don't use computers or Blackberries.

I'd rather have leaders at the highest level meeting, debating, and thinking rather than surfing the web and checking email.

I doubt if even St. Obama is on the computer that much.

The higher up you go in almost any organization, the less of that shiat you do.