A pterodactyl flies overhead, and Homer begins to panic.

Homer: Aah! OK, don't panic -- remember the advice your father gave you
on your wedding day.
[remembers Abe with hair and a tuxedo]
Abe: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything because
even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't
imagine.
Homer: Fine. As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch
anything, I won't destroy the future.
[a mosquito flies in]
Stupid bug! You go squish now! [swats it]

I know myself and I would know I was full of shiat. I would be like, oh, you just happened to time travel right before this catostrophic event, Kitwilly? My ass.

Be doomed, dumbass

/Yer dead in the long run anway

.

First of all, if my future self doesn't have a laundry list of stock tips and a sports almanac a la "Back to the Future 2", my future self is in for an ass-kicking from my present self, and I think my future self would probably be aware of that.

fark his mom?

Make fun of him for being balder than me, get drunk together.

Put Down The Bong.

Been there, done that ;)

GIS for impending doom.



I guess I would work the treadmill more and definitely rethink my choice of dogs.

If you meet yourself and have sex with him, are you gay or masturbating?

LaChanz:If you meet yourself and have sex with him, are you gay or masturbating?

Depends on which self is pitching.

LaChanz:If you meet yourself and have sex with him, are you gay or masturbating?

Just really, really vain.

Have a secret question: Be wary of evil future selves or clones. If it is actually your future self, they will know the answer to the secret question; something only you would know. Like where you masturbated for the first time

Well, only I know that. And my parents. And their 4 nice friends to whom they were showing the house.

Sigh - I think If my future self returned and we got down, it would be hot lesbian twin incest. And I'm so annoying that I'm afraid to mention this too my husband, because I think his head would asplode.

/seriously, no matter how hot two of me are, eventually we're going to whine about candy and margaritas.

Past: 'Hey, this looks like an interesting website. Fark.com? What a stupid name. I might as well click it and see what i.....

Future self: 'NOOOO!!!'

I'd knock my future self out, tie myself up, and see how much might be fetched in exchange for myself from the research/scientific communities.

Nabb1:First of all, if my future self doesn't have a laundry list of stock tips and a sports almanac a la "Back to the Future 2", my future self is in for an ass-kicking from my present self, and I think my future self would probably be aware of that.

This is pretty much what I would say, although there would be a de-pantsing involved.

1. Have a secret question
Be wary of evil future selves or clones. If it is actually your future self, they will know the answer to the secret question; something only you would know.

- What number are we thinking of right now?
- 69!
* Air Guitar *

Anti_illuminati:LaChanz:If you meet yourself and have sex with him, are you gay or masturbating?

Depends on which self is pitching.

goddammit.. I thought it was only if your balls touched, before that it was only if you pushed back..

Why don't I get these memos?

Mugato:If you meet yourself and have sex with him, are you gay or masturbating?

If it isn't already a refernce to, you should watch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAD7ZJ6UPeg (new window)

The skit is LONG... but it's well worth it.

Kill him and absorb his power, obviously.

Well I know that when my future self tells me to keep eating healthy I am going to eat whatever I want. Because I do what I want.

The song meaning, not the character. Two different things.

Knock the cup out of Stan's hand. Assuming stationary had been confirmed, of course.

I'd instantly grab him in a big bear hug, just to see if we end up a big pile of bloody Jell-o a-la Ron Silver in Timecop.

That actually was a very interesting and funny article to read.
thanks, subby!! :-D

Ron Silver is awesome!!

Read it. Gots all your answers..including the gay/masturbation one. And having sex with your female counterpart too.

/no tribbles though.

If i ran into my future self, I would tell myself that i am living with a crazy wild eye'd scientist with a fondness for modding vehicles to make time machines.

Nabb1:First of all, if my future self doesn't have a laundry list of stock tips and a sports almanac a la "Back to the Future 2", my future self is in for an ass-kicking from my present self, and I think my future self would probably be aware of that.

Plus present-you falls prey to the element of surprise. Future-you remembers the asskicking he got at the hands of future-him back when he was present-him so he's going to have a definite advantage.

Sing him the "Om" song?

/obscure

Ha! Million dollars here I come.
Somebody's post gave me an idea for a screen play. It's a comedy about a guy who travels back in time, meets his past self, gets knocked out by his past self who then travels to replace him in the future. The future is strange and weird and the humor comes from that. Meanwhile, the future self stuck in the past has to relive...college all over again!

/before you rip me a new ass just ask yourself, is this any worse than the shiat Hollywood already spews out?

hmm me meeting my future self could be rather interesting.

tehotherbilly:Ha! Million dollars here I come.
Somebody's post gave me an idea for a screen play. It's a comedy about a guy who travels back in time, meets his past self, gets knocked out by his past self who then travels to replace him in the future. The future is strange and weird and the humor comes from that. Meanwhile, the future self stuck in the past has to relive...college all over again!

/before you rip me a new ass just ask yourself, is this any worse than the shiat Hollywood already spews out?

That sounds like a damned fine 80s movie.

NeverDrunk23:Past: 'Hey, this looks like an interesting website. Fark.com? What a stupid name. I might as well click it and see what i.....

Future self: 'NOOOO!!!'

Substitute 4chan.org for Fark.com, and you basically got mine.

/what has been seen on 4Chan
//cannot be unseen

No one has said the word parodox yet....

And obligatory: when Dennis Miller meets Dennis Miller.

TxRabbit
I read that as "The man who fondled himself"

/Window please.

Kill Hitler.

I'd probably want to know where the construction plans for the time machine were, and if he knew how we originally figured out how to build it.

And all the rules associated with time travel.. parallel vs paradox, etc.

And after all that, building sex bots!

No one has said the word parodox paradox yet....

/FTFM

See, I've always said that if I could go back in time, I'd kick my own ass for being such a dumbfark, so if I saw me walking through a door I'd probably throw a chair at me and make for the nearest window.

I know where I came from, but where did all you zombies come from?

Warned about impending doom?

Obligatory: I suppose I wouldn't get married after all.

/Just kidding honey

Spirit Hammer:TxRabbit
I read that as "The man who fondled himself"

/Window please.

He does that too.

Link (new window)
You can find it at any bookstore, or amazon.com etc.

I loled quite heartily @ TFA.

merlotguy:

fark his mom?

Ha! That didn't take Long.

TxRabbit:Read it. Gots all your answers..including the gay/masturbation one. And having sex with your female counterpart too.

/no tribbles though.

I just hope my female counterpart is better at watching her weight than I am...