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(NYPost) Interesting A man and his pregnant fiancée are demanding $10 million from the Bronx Zoo after being stuck on a cable car for five hours above fang-baring, flesh-eating baboons   (nypost.com) divider line 107
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Mixolydian Master 2008-07-13 05:52:43 AM  
The last time this story was posted it was over a lion pit. Do baboons and lions live in harmony?

Atleast in this article it mentions fang-baring baboons. In the lion thread there is no mention of lions other than subby's

 
eventhelosers 2008-07-13 05:55:25 AM  
The baboons have spent time training at dynamite monkey's tourist camp?

/drtfa
//why I am awake at 5 on a Sunday?

 
nightfallcub 2008-07-13 05:59:44 AM  
A man and his pregnant fiancée are demanding $10 million from the Bronx Zoo after being stuck on a cable car for five hours above fang-baring, flesh-eating baboons

so they were trapped above the Jersey Turnpike? *rimshot*

 
rallyrev 2008-07-13 06:01:02 AM  
Where's Reverend Lovejoy when you need him?

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-07-13 06:01:41 AM  
Dad: Oh, honey, there you are. I'm glad you're home 'cause it's your turn to be mauled by the baboon!
(Pushes Ren and Stimpy towards the baboon)
Dad: Now go on, honey, you remember what the man at the pet store said about nurturing his natural behavior. Besides what's the use of having a bloodthirsty primate around the house if you can't get mauled once in a while?
- "A Yard Too Far"
That episode made me scared of baboons forever and all time. Also hog jowls.

 
Commander Lysdexic 2008-07-13 06:02:29 AM  
www.gabrielopenshaw.com

 
Infectedmonkey 2008-07-13 06:04:24 AM  
Rev. Lovejoy unavailable for comment?

 
Il Douchey [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 06:05:09 AM  
KILL THEM (the moneygrubbers, not the monkeys).

 
Relatively Obscure [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 06:10:12 AM  
Next time, cut the cable.

 
Malinki 2008-07-13 06:14:00 AM  
What, no dyanamite monkey pics yet?

 
The Subby 2008-07-13 06:16:40 AM  
Reverend Lovejoy:
Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me, but biff! Bam! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me, and that's when I got mad...

Homer:
Now, THAT'S religion!

 
Freak 2008-07-13 06:16:47 AM  
Baboons to the left of me, baboons to the right, the speeding locomotive tore through a sea of inhuman fangs. A pair of great apes rose up at me, but biff! Bam! I sent them flying like two hairy footballs. A third came screaming at me, and that's when I got mad....

 
The Subby 2008-07-13 06:17:19 AM  
So close!

 
wildcardjack 2008-07-13 06:43:05 AM  
eventhelosers://why I am awake at 5 on a Sunday?

To piss, reload on fluids to bypass the hangover, and crash in front of the TV while watching Dogma again. Which you failed to stay awake through on the first pass.

 
Still Itchy 2008-07-13 06:46:24 AM  
img514.imageshack.us

I'm a 50ft baboon, biatches!

 
mikesup 2008-07-13 06:48:16 AM  
wildcardjack:eventhelosers://why I am awake at 5 on a Sunday?

To piss, reload on fluids to bypass the hangover, and crash in front of the TV while watching Dogma again. Which you failed to stay awake through on the first pass.


How do you know how I spend my Sunday mornings?

/got nuthin'

 
Il Douchey [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 06:56:33 AM  
Recently, Damien Foster and Nandi Taylor were frightened due to an honest mishap and determined that they shall never work again. Lawyer Adam Shapiro provided bombast and rhetoric to extract funds to enable the frightened plaintiffs a lifetime free lunch. The mishap was not a result of malice and had no permanent consequences.

In related news, The Bronx Zoo has begun foreclosure proceedings due to unsustainable insurance premiums.

 
Impudent Domain 2008-07-13 07:02:21 AM  
Flesh eating fang bearing baboons? How is that any different than being in any New York Pizza parlor?

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2008-07-13 07:05:59 AM  
Impudent Domain:Flesh eating fang bearing baboons? How is that any different than being in any New York Pizza parlor?

I hope somebody does the right thing and decks you in the face.

 
Bathia_Mapes [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 07:06:22 AM  
Mixolydian Master:The last time this story was posted it was over a lion pit. Do baboons and lions live in harmony?

Atleast in this article it mentions fang-baring baboons. In the lion thread there is no mention of lions other than subby's


Exactly

 
beer6 2008-07-13 07:07:06 AM  
Did someone say dynamite monkey?

i14.tinypic.com

I'm sooooooooooo... bored!

 
DeadZone 2008-07-13 07:22:34 AM  
Baboons lose their pants?

 
MyAnonBox 2008-07-13 07:25:50 AM  
Impudent Domain:Flesh eating fang bearing baboons? How is that any different than being in any New York Pizza parlor?

Is that a Spike Lee reference?

Story reminds me of an axiom from a law teacher of mine (I'm not a lawyer, this isn't a lame attempt to mention that I am) said that if you run someone over and see them squirming, back up and get them again. Wrongful deaths are usually settled for less than pain and suffering.

 
ubermensch 2008-07-13 07:38:42 AM  
Was this a repeat?

 
richw 2008-07-13 08:01:20 AM  
Why does this not have the stupid tag???

 
Dennis_Moore 2008-07-13 08:03:15 AM  
Mynd you, babøøn bites kan be pretty nastï

 
Hector Remarkable 2008-07-13 08:05:40 AM  
I would offer them a free pass to the insect house, and unlimited rides on the merry-go-round.

 
1morerun 2008-07-13 08:06:31 AM  
Just where does the $10 million dollar pricetag come from? Their suffering? I'm betting they were tiered and thirsty, but not $10 million dollar thirsty. Are all the other passengers $10 million dollar thirsty?

 
GoldDude 2008-07-13 08:10:47 AM  
Baboons are herbivores. Yes, they have been known to attack humans, but not flesh-eating to my knowledge. Maybe these bozos watch The Simpsons too much. In which case they should've hired Lionel Hutz.

 
Sgt. Pepper 2008-07-13 08:13:01 AM  
ubermensch:Was this a repeat?

I think it was a scene from The Omen.

...Damien?

 
boingeeboingee 2008-07-13 08:13:50 AM  
Okay is it me or were they stranded to save them from a worse fate related to the lightning? I could understand the guy suing for spending 5 hrs trapped with the hormonal fiance shrieking....

 
ThrobblefootSpectre 2008-07-13 08:15:39 AM  
GoldDude:Baboons are herbivores.

That's why these two vegetables were so terrified.

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 08:15:43 AM  
I'm disappointed we didn't learn how 2 dozen humans would fare in combat against a few baboons.

 
Bagelox-99 2008-07-13 08:19:37 AM  
1morerun:Just where does the $10 million dollar pricetag come from?

I'm gonna answer this with a quote:
FTFA:lawyer Adam Shapiro, who filed the lawsuit yesterday.

1morerun:I'm betting they were tiered and thirsty, but not $10 million dollar thirsty. Are all the other passengers $10 million dollar thirsty?

No, because they were tiered. Only the first tier get to ask for the $10 mill. Everybody else gets, I dunno, Coca Cola gift certificates or something.

 
Joce678 2008-07-13 08:25:58 AM  
I'm betting they were tiered and thirsty

They were scared of the monkeys.

...and she was pregnant.

Obviously they were exposed to plenty of fang-baring, flesh-eating animals on the underground as they were traveling to the zoo but don't let that get in the way of a good lawsuit.

 
JessicaRaven 2008-07-13 08:29:37 AM  
Control_this:I'm disappointed we didn't learn how 2 dozen humans would fare in combat against a few baboons.

say your prayers you heathen baboons!

 
Belac 2008-07-13 08:29:56 AM  
Il Douchey:Recently, Damien Foster and Nandi Taylor were frightened due to an honest mishap and determined that they shall never work again. Lawyer Adam Shapiro provided bombast and rhetoric to extract funds to enable the frightened plaintiffs a lifetime free lunch. The mishap was not a result of malice and had no permanent consequences.

In related news, The Bronx Zoo has begun foreclosure proceedings due to unsustainable insurance premiums.


THIS.

 
shucherfase 2008-07-13 08:33:32 AM  
Mixolydian Master:
I imagine that more than one skyway car is on the cables at once. If not in line, then at least one in each direction. It probably spans a fair section of the park and people may have been stuck over a wide array of animal cages. The original story mentioned lions because that's the most dramatic. The second one mentions baboons because those are the only ass hats (thus far) to file a suit.
I'm just guessing though.

 
shucherfase 2008-07-13 08:36:43 AM  
Yeah, I know. I fail reading.

 
ThrobblefootSpectre 2008-07-13 08:37:54 AM  
Control_this:I'm disappointed we didn't learn how 2 dozen humans would fare in combat against a few baboons.

That experiment was already done in Africa about 140,000 years ago. A bunch of lions, gorillas and crocs were thrown into the mix as well, to keep things interesting.

As it turned out though, tool making, spoken language, and planning ability proved to be rather decisive advantages for homo sapiens. They ended up making clothes, shoes and expensive handbags out of all the other critters.

 
rustylite 2008-07-13 08:38:06 AM  
I vote to shoot all 3 of them.

 
DO NOT WANT Poster Girl [recently expired TotalFark] 2008-07-13 08:38:58 AM  
They claim the scary experience of being in a stranded cable car put the pregancy at risk, but nobody forced them to take a cable car ride on a stormy day. I hope the suit gets booted and junior's tuition money goes to the lawyers.

 
1morerun 2008-07-13 08:42:45 AM  
What I'm trying to say is that if they had $10 million dollar suffering, and the people in the OTHER 11 CARS only had gas money suffering, how can we as a culture justify that their suffering was that much more? How?

boingeeboingee Can you cite reference of lightning striking the cable line at any point beyond theirs, or is it your assertion that god would have struck the cars had he decided to, but he chose not in this case?

 
stpickrell 2008-07-13 08:45:19 AM  
Why should the Bronx Zoo be able to get away with failure to maintain its cable cars, or other avoidable negligence that puts its patrons in danger?

The massive verdicts are a 100% disservice for two reasons: (1) they serve as a lottery, wherein somewhat negligent corporate persons go undeservedly bankrupt and lucky plaintiffs undeservedly hit the jackpot and (2) they serve as an excuse for conservatives to justify gutting the tort system and thus allowing corporate persons to get away with negligence and other torts.

 
DandD 2008-07-13 08:48:51 AM  
If I were him I would sue for $10 million, not because of the baboons but because I was stuck with a raging pregnant fiancee. How would like to listen to "I've got to pee" and "Do you want to feel the baby move" every few seconds.

 
huntercr 2008-07-13 08:49:52 AM  
richw:Why does this not have the stupid tag???

cause it's not stupid? Being stuck for 5 hours with 3 dozen people can really get the panic going. It doesn't make sense to you if you've never been in a situation like that.

My experience is minor in comparison...
About 6 years ago was stuck on at the top of a rollercoaster in the rain ( The Raptor at Cedar Point, in case anyone cares ) for only 45 minutes. They can't reverse the roller coaster, so you're there at the top, hanging for what seemed like eternity, with cold rain pouring down on you. Though it was a light rain ( just misting even for some of the time), it was October, so just slowly getting soaked with those temperatures made it alot worse.
Everyone is fine for while, but eventually some people start to get all nervous, and start being stupid, crying for help, and freaking everyone else out. Not knowing when it was going to end made people all the more nervous. I was lucky... my car was near the back and we were still above this lower steel platform that kept you from seeing all the way to the ground. The people in the front car, were already over the top hump and were sitting there looking straight down the entire time. The raptor is a suspension rollercoaster, so those front row people were hanging down, and even leaning *foreward* the whole time and had nothing they could do but look down. Think about what it would be like to have been those 4 people. Yikes.

Cedar Point was very accommodating free coffee, snacks, free passes to jump to the front of the line on any roller coaster, and free admission, etc.

We weren't even in any actual danger, other than perhaps hypothermia, and the risk of some of the really freaked out people unbuckling themselves and jumping or something stupid like that .
The psychological side of that did affect me ... hearing those kids cry and being not able to move, being freezing cold and slowly swaying in the wind, and being able to look nowhere but down really got to me. And as Cedar point rollercoasters go, the Raptor isn't even very high. I think I would have lost my lunch if we had been stuck at the top of the Magnum or the Millennium Force.

So I read this story and it's 5 hours in a arguably less secure vehicle with 3 dozen people in a lightening storm. Not to mention the people in the cabin of the cable car are not necessarily tolerant of any "thrills".. they weren't set to ride a roller coaster, they were just going to the zoo.

Now, add in the experience of having your a nervous pregnant wife there and I can easily see why they were so upset. Is it $10M upset? I about it, but that's the job for the courts to decide.

 
Flamethrowing_Troll 2008-07-13 09:02:21 AM  
"They didn't know if they were going to live or die," said lawyer Adam Shapiro, who filed the lawsuit yesterday.

Damien Foster and Nandi Taylor say they suffered "psychological trauma" and that Wednesday's ordeal put the pregnancy at risk.


That's some nice grist for the stereotype mill right there!!

 
Goofball_Jones 2008-07-13 09:06:23 AM  
They'll get over it

 
Nabb1 [TotalFark] 2008-07-13 09:09:16 AM  
Adam Shapiro is they kind of shyster that brings disrepute on the entire legal profession, but these two wastes of oxygen and their entitlement complex are an indictment of our entire society. Throw them all to the baboons.

/Baboons will fark you up. Those are some nasty monkeys.

 
1morerun 2008-07-13 09:11:35 AM  
huntercr Why didn't you sue for $10M?

Do you think all of the other people on this particular tram path should be able to sue for as much? Is their time and suffering worth many millions less?

 
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