That's why I buy everything from spammers.

/phear my 17 inch penis

Ronco would never lead me astray, would they?

Wait, does that mean my friends can tell that I've only covered my bald head with gray spray paint?

/damn you popeil!

duh

pedegg is the shiznit

They may not work well but if you call in the next 3 minutes they'll give you two of them plus a lemon zester, a bagel knife and throw in a pasta maker for 4 easy payments of $19.95

/wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube guy approves

One thing that does work pretty well are those green bags. You stick your fruits or vegetables in there and they last much longer in the fridge than they normally would. These bags suppress ethylene, which is some sort of plant signal for ripening.
Link

Really??? Wow... Just WOW!!!!

This just in: Products sold on infomercials don't always work as well as promised

But the only one that got a bad review was the ridiculous foot toxin remover...

My mother bought a Pedegg from Fry's. Apparently, it works.

Kongressman Grandma:They may not work well but if you call in the next 3 minutes they'll give you two of them plus a lemon zester, a bagel knife and throw in a pasta maker for 4 easy payments of $19.95

"How much would you pay?"

/gotta be my favorite infomercial line

Weird Al had it right (new window)

Why would anyone want to get rid of the callouses on their feet? You never know when you'll end up without shoes.

Yeah, that Ron Popeil guy was full of shiat!

Came for the Mr. Popeil reference. HappyDeth did not disappoint.

The Miracle Thaw was one of the all-time favorites.



This one was so bad that the FTC forced them to pull the product off the shelves (new window). We still get people occasionally asking if we still carry it.

FTFA:This thing is a cheese grater for your feet. And it works. The files on the grater are sharp, but so small that it doesn't hurt at all as you shave off the rough, calloused skin on the feet. Best of all, the Ped Egg collects all that dead skin in the attached cover, so that you don't have a snowstorm of dead skin when you give yourself a pedicure.

Excuse me, I'll be in my bathroom vomiting violently for the next four hours.

saluteyourshorts:Why would anyone want to get rid of the callouses on their feet? You never know when you'll end up without shoes.

Because they're delicious? I've learned calluses are quite thick and easily snipped off with a Swiss Army knife; the thick, yellow and delicately flavored cannibalistic treat can be chewed on for 10 minutes. Yum.

T-Luv:/wacky wavy inflatable arm flailing tube guy approves

I've been in and out of all kinds of life-threatening shiat over the years, and those goddam things still freak me out completely at night.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache:Yeah, that Ron Popeil guy was full of shiat!

Not as much as Kevin Trudeau. He's an original factory.

Wait... L. Ron Hubbard.

/that is all

"There's a sucker born every minute"-P.T.Barnum or possibly someone else

Nads-
I bought some of that from an infomercial years ago (you can now buy it in stores).
Worth it just to see my husband face when I pulled his chest hair off. (he had called me a weenie when i pulled some hair off of my legs and said it hurt, and told me to put some of the Nads on his chest hair to show me it didnt hurt).

I love the British guy from the Magic Bullet ^TM. He has an accent like Paul McCartney. All the people "just hanging out trying some of his food" are the lamest actors evar! The way he says the word "mug" (moug) and the way he says "nachos" (Natchos) makes me wanna crush him. :)

the pedegg is the awesome

"And what about these foot pads...."

HowlingFrog:That's why I buy everything from spammers.

/phear my 17 inch penis

I am against the death penalty, but I'm willing to put that stance aside for people who buy things from spam e-mails.

I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

If dumbshiats didn't buy stuff from spammers, spamming wouldn't exist.

death. swiftly.

/end rant.

How dare you question the functionality of my ShamWow™ Chamois Sponge. It's multi-purpose, reusable, and safe for all surfaces.

Kongressman Grandma:I love the British guy from the Magic Bullet TM. He has an accent like Paul McCartney. All the people "just hanging out trying some of his food" are the lamest actors evar! The way he says the word "mug" (moug) and the way he says "nachos" (Natchos) makes me wanna crush him. :)

The Magic Bullet rocks though.

Kongressman Grandma:I love the British guy from the Magic Bullet TM. He has an accent like Paul McCartney. All the people "just hanging out trying some of his food" are the lamest actors evar! The way he says the word "mug" (moug) and the way he says "nachos" (Natchos) makes me wanna crush him. :)

Ya, but I wish I was one of those people trying the food.

sararenne:Nads-
I bought some of that from an infomercial years ago (you can now buy it in stores).
Worth it just to see my husband face when I pulled his chest hair off. (he had called me a weenie when i pulled some hair off of my legs and said it hurt, and told me to put some of the Nads on his chest hair to show me it didnt hurt).

Oh? It's supposed to remove hair?

I thought it was just supposed to turn your skin red. That's all it did for me.

Fact Man:I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

If you don't want farm sex with teen girls, then by God, what do you want?!

You could even cut a tin can with it!


/but you wouldn't want to

Single White Male:Fact Man:I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

If you don't want farm sex with teen girls, then by God, what do you want?!

A Single White Male?

Single White Male:Fact Man:I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

If you don't want farm sex with teen girls, then by God, what do you want?!

Teen sex with farm girls.

JohnCougarMelonhead:"PRODUCT: SpinLash
PRICE: $14.95
GRADE: B
BECKY'S THOUGHTS:
This product basically allows you to wear a TON of mascara without having it get all gloppy. It separates the lashes by spinning as it applies mascara."

I loved that episode.

At first I was excited: "wow, I never knew Weird Al did a video for Mr. Popeil!" o_O

Then it turned out to be some lame flash experiment by a kid who couldn't even spell. -_-

/loved that song back when ... but it took me a few years to realize that the tune was a parody of the B-52's style

Aw jeez, not this shiat again hand. Apply directly to the forehead!
Aw jeez, not this shiat again hand. Apply directly to the forehead!
Aw jeez, not this shiat again hand. Apply directly to the forehead!

I love the Shamwow dude. He's so old school, like fast-talking carnie. Like he'd give the same treatment to whatever piece of shiat you put in his hands. "Ya followin me cameraguy?" ShamWOW!

Hubert Sumlin:sararenne:Nads-
I bought some of that from an infomercial years ago (you can now buy it in stores).
Worth it just to see my husband face when I pulled his chest hair off. (he had called me a weenie when i pulled some hair off of my legs and said it hurt, and told me to put some of the Nads on his chest hair to show me it didnt hurt).

Oh? It's supposed to remove hair?

I thought it was just supposed to turn your skin red. That's all it did for me.

It pulled off about half the hair on the one spot on my leg, and the same for about a 3x3 square on my husband. Red spot for the rest of the day.
We used it that one time

The Kinoki foot pad may be the most disgusting thing I've ever seen on TV.

Kongressman Grandma
I love the British guy from the Magic Bullet TM. He has an accent like Paul McCartney. All the people "just hanging out trying some of his food" are the lamest actors evar! The way he says the word "mug" (moug) and the way he says "nachos" (Natchos) makes me wanna crush him. :)

my old roommates and i had a strange obsession with that infomercial, and would watch it every time it came on to our endless amusement. my favorite part is how the old lady's cigarette has this huge fake ash, but obviously isn't lit or smoking the whole time.

/i cannot believe i related to someone about the magic bullet infommercial.
//yes, i have no life. why do you ask?

Kongressman Grandma:Single White Male:Fact Man:I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

If you don't want farm sex with teen girls, then by God, what do you want?!

Teen sex with farm girls.

Wow. I take that back.

/so full of win.

Remember the ab shocker? It was supposed to sculpt you 6 pack abs by shocking your muscles with small electrical currents from this girdle thingy, presumably while you laid around watching Days of Our Lives or something.

Fact Man:I've had to cancel e-mail addresses and make new ones 4 or 5 times so far because of a dozen "f@rm sexx wi!th Teen !gilrss" and "Disc0unt v!@graxx" e-mails every day.

Has anyone ever explained the concept of "spam filter" to you?

I thoroughly empathize with your rage about spam--I get a huge amount, and long have (along the lines of having had the honor of being mail bombed by Kevin Mitnick)--so I share your irritation with people who make that a viable economy, but, um, getting new addresses really isn't the most efficient way to deal with it.

When you're really drunk - posting on fark is cheaper than buying crap from infomercials. Now where did I leave my slippers with little headlights on them?

the thing is, if it works, you will be able to get it in the store. see pedegg and kaboom. never buy off of tv, it is a rip off, you can read that anywhere on the internets.