I have, on occasion, read an editorial filled with more patently absurd notions and painfully transparent efforts to rile up opposing ideas in an effort to stir controversy, increase page views, spawn links from other websites, and otherwise make the web editor happy. But not often.

What the fark? That guy questioned my manliness! I better go buy whatever the hell he's talking about to prove myself to him!

I'm getting this one. That ought to get me into his he-man club.

This guy's living in an alternate reality. Damn common sense - I want look cool! It's the epitome of what's wrong with the country and what's wrong with many, many of its people: we are individually and collectively living beyond our means.

Fits nicely with McCain's campaign though. We don't need greater oil independence. We just need to feel better about being junkies.

The size of your car is inversely proportional to the size of your penis.

compliments of www.fuh2.com
one of a million.

What else can you expect from the Washington Post? Douchebag central.

Huh oh. What will the Wash Post hating Freepers do? They won't know who to believe anymore...

Teafortwo:Huh oh. What will the Wash Post hating Freepers do? They won't know who to believe anymore...

they'll get over it

Single White Male:The size of your car is inversely proportional to the size of your penis.

I drive an Accord 4 cylinder and a Ram quadcab. How big does that formula make my dick? If it's big on the weekends and small mid-week, that would work out perfectly.

The Angry Hand of God:pictures.topspeed.com

Got a link for the back story on that picture?

There's no telling how many times getting a hummer has saved my life, so this guy might be on to something.

Screw the hummer.

FTFA:

This is what GM owes us, and what the company owes itself -- a ridiculous machine crammed with emotional content, the sort of contraption that Detroit has always done well but increasingly seems to have decided it is incapable of ever doing well again. What GM must remember is that, as much as competitors have altered they way we think about what we drive, it's depressing to contemplate a future filled with dreary transportation appliances. Here and there, the grandiose legacy of a country in love with freedom of movement must be celebrated, even as we figure out new and more efficient ways to get around. Now, more than ever, we need Hummer, in all its defiant, obnoxious, thoroughly American glory.


Why can't the Corvette fill this "need"?

What is worse?

(1)Someone who can afford and chooses to drive a Hummer.

----OR----

(2) Some asshole who thinks he or she has the right to decide what someone else drives?

I vote for #2.

No, I don't drive a Hummer, and never have. Not my style, but I don't have the right to impose my vehicle choice on someone else.

Lee Harvey Osmond:What is worse?

(1)Someone who can afford and chooses to drive a Hummer.

----OR----

(2) Some asshole who thinks he or she has the right to decide what someone else drives?

I vote for #2.

No, I don't drive a Hummer, and never have. Not my style, but I don't have the right to impose my vehicle choice on someone else.

I have 2 words for you: fuel efficiency laws.

/wait, what?

Since when did trolling become a pseudonym for journalistic integrity???

Now, more than ever, we need Hummer, in all its defiant, obnoxious, thoroughly American glory.

times change and you have to adapt. remember when being innovative and dynamic was also considered very american? who the fu@k do these douchebags think they are trying to convince everyone that being a myopic meathead is somehow being truly american? these past 10 years have been a near nightmare.

Well to be fair, hummers will save America. Though I've never heard it referred to as 'gas' guzzling.

deception, false sentiment and self-delusion. the new american way.

FTA

And here is where its symbolic fortitude is most threatened: For American life to work, the illusion of endless abundance must be maintained. Sure, we must adapt to a future of less-abundant natural resources. Our vehicles will need to become radically more efficient. But we require vestiges of the old dream to sustain our national optimism, which in turn nourishes our national character.

It's too bad he muddles his message with the parts about manliness, I think this paragraph here really hits the nail on the head. It's sad how the automobile culture that defined postwar America is giving way to "dreary transportation appliances".

TheMightyTimmah:FTA

And here is where its symbolic fortitude is most threatened: For American life to work, the illusion of endless abundance must be maintained. Sure, we must adapt to a future of less-abundant natural resources. Our vehicles will need to become radically more efficient. But we require vestiges of the old dream to sustain our national optimism, which in turn nourishes our national character.

It's too bad he muddles his message with the parts about manliness, I think this paragraph here really hits the nail on the head. It's sad how the automobile culture that defined postwar America is giving way to "dreary transportation appliances".


Fark that, given the choice between a happy automobile culture (that fails in comparison to Japanese autos, btw) and paying less for gas and being socially aware, I'll take the latter.

Seriously, the culture means nothing.

V. M. Molotov:Lee Harvey Osmond:What is worse?

(1)Someone who can afford and chooses to drive a Hummer.

----OR----

(2) Some asshole who thinks he or she has the right to decide what someone else drives?

I vote for #2.

No, I don't drive a Hummer, and never have. Not my style, but I don't have the right to impose my vehicle choice on someone else.

I have 2 words for you: fuel efficiency laws.

/wait, what?

Oh Goodie! more laws!

How about a common sense law?

/Probably have us drowning in starving lawyers

//If you like it, drive it.
///if you don't, STFU.

Vangor:Well to be fair, hummers will save America. Though I've never heard it referred to as 'gas' guzzling.

In fact with those two terms together i would wager that someone is doing it wrong.

how about instead of bashing hummer owners and calling them stupid, accept that they are getting the punishment you think they deserve by the gas prices. It's none of your damned business what they drive and if you don't like, thats fine, but acting high and mighty because they own a truck you don't like is not earning you any brownie points with anyone.
If you say they should be taken away because they aren't necessary, think twice before opening your mouth. All that is necessary to live is a bed, a job, three glasses of water a day and a loaf of bread a week.

/SUV owner, proud of it

Hummers existed to exploit the tax loophole that subsidized big trucks for self-employeed business owners (read real estate agents). I expect they'll become ramming machines when their owners try to total them for the insurance money.

It takes a certain kind of man -- it's almost always the owner of a Y chromosome -- to take a gander at the Hummer, in all its broad, burly, paramilitary gas-guzzling glory, and see himself behind the wheel, striking fear and loathing in the hearts of ecologically sensitive motorists. Oprah does not drive a Hummer.

Something tells me this schmuck might be missing a few chromosomes...

Reading through the article I feel usurped. I thought I spoke in grandiose, excessive terms on useless subjects, although never to fellate a symbol of latent homosexuality, erectile dysfunction, and mid-life crisis.

"striking fear and loathing in the hearts of ecologically sensitive motorists"

You mean people who do not feel it necessary to indulge in stretch Hummers, who may desire to spend less on a non-renewable resource, or who may simply want to lower the impact of automobiles on the smog surrounding their once fair city?

I don't care if you own a Hummer, but this self-righteous nonsense about it being American, masculine, or any other oft-spouted marketing line is the highest form of douchebaggery.

I'm getting a hummer right now so I am getting a uhhh....yeah.....almost there.........oh sh*t!

Lee Harvey Osmond:What is worse?

(1)Someone who can afford and chooses to drive a Hummer.

----OR----

(2) Some asshole who thinks he or she has the right to decide what someone else drives?

I vote for #2.

No, I don't drive a Hummer, and never have. Not my style, but I don't have the right to impose my vehicle choice on someone else.

And we have the right to think people who drive hummers are assholes. See how that works?

Hozark:how about instead of bashing hummer owners and calling them stupid, accept that they are getting the punishment you think they deserve by the gas prices.

Because not everything is about the price of gasoline. It's my planet too, and Hummer and SUV owners are doing more to accelerate its demise than I am.

That is why I call you a douchebag.

The Hummer appeals to large men of even larger ego ...

... and I'm next in the queue !!!11!!one!!!

Hozark:how about instead of bashing hummer owners and calling them stupid, accept that they are getting the punishment you think they deserve by the gas prices. It's none of your damned business what they drive and if you don't like, thats fine, but acting high and mighty because they own a truck you don't like is not earning you any brownie points with anyone.
If you say they should be taken away because they aren't necessary, think twice before opening your mouth. All that is necessary to live is a bed, a job, three glasses of water a day and a loaf of bread a week.

/SUV owner, proud of it

Why would you be proud of owning an SUV? You didn't build it yourself from scratch, dumbass. If you had people might actually be impressed. Way to be proud of yourself for accomplishing nothing at all whatsoever.

memphisheel:That is why I call you a douchebag.

And you are doing more to erode at our freedoms than the farking prez. don't ask me, or any one else with a capable truck, to help your ass move, because you should get to carry your entire apartment across the state one tiny load at a time. See how much gas you save that day, douchie.
I may be a douche bag, but I don't go around telling others that they are stupid for the differences we have.

A Hummer is not an HMMV, an Hummer is a peice of junk, and H2 is a Tahoe with ugly body panels, and an H3 is just wtf?

I'll stick to my truck and continue to be able to do things like ferry Prius-driving doctors and nurses to/from local hospitals during snowstorms after they biatch about me all year long prior, funny about that innit?

/article author is an asshat
//likes being able to drive under (nearly)any conditions

Elvis Da King:"V. M. Molotov:
I have 2 words for you: fuel efficiency laws.

/wait, what?"

Oh Goodie! more laws!

How about a common sense law?

More laws? Are you an idiot? We've had fuel economy laws for decades, and if Congress had raised them a bit in the last 15 years, we wouldn't be pissing away some of our best men trying to stabilize a bunch of a-holes who believe in tribalism as a form of governments and hiding women under sheets.

/Wait, that sheet thing can be good in the right context...

FTA:For American life to work, the illusion of endless abundance must be maintained. Sure, we must adapt to a future of less-abundant natural resources. Our vehicles will need to become radically more efficient. But we require vestiges of the old dream to sustain our national optimism, which in turn nourishes our national character.

That is why you fail.

GM is selling the brand because it is losing money, that is what businesses do.

If you want a EGO boost you may still be able to buy your tata H2, however don't expect your boost on the dime of the GM stockholder.

I doubt there will be a market in 10 yrs for large H2 like trucks.

Niche, maybe, but don't expect niche to be cheap. Think Lamborghini, but without the awesomeness.

Differences...

Wannabe truck:



What can you even put in it's bed? A folding chair possibly.

Actual truck:



You can put an endless list of stuff in it's bed.

The Hummer H2 has no useful purpose.

FTFA:

Americans don't just drive their cars -- they proclaim something about themselves by driving them

Yup, nothing proclaims douchebag more than an H2.

FTFA 2:
They like owning the beast because, when it bears down on lesser rides on the freeway, those lesser rides -- even the Teutonic triple threat of Porsche/BMW/Mercedes -- get out of the way.

Porsche/BMW/'Cedes are lesser rides???? My head asploded.

My truck has helped rescue a friends house by hauling sand bags to build a levy, hauled motors to and from the shop and other things that few other vehicles could do. And i have done a great deal of work to it myself. It's a 1996 Ford Bronco, it's in pinnacle shape, save one spot of rust, and it gets a scant 19mpg. It stays parked until it needs to go camping or help me stop a brush fire. Your car may be helping save the planet, but you need a four wheel drive to do the work.

Hozark:memphisheel:That is why I call you a douchebag.

And you are doing more to erode at our freedoms than the farking prez. don't ask me, or any one else with a capable truck, to help your ass move, because you should get to carry your entire apartment across the state one tiny load at a time. See how much gas you save that day, douchie.
I may be a douche bag, but I don't go around telling others that they are stupid for the differences we have.

How to render your truck useless:

memphisheel:Because not everything is about the price of gasoline. It's my planet too, and Hummer and SUV owners are doing more to accelerate its demise than I am.

That is why I call you a douchebag.

You might want to turn your attention to the newly developing industializing nations like India and China.

Oh, and another thing, how does an SUV owner who telecommutes and drives a few miles a week to shop, deal with kid errands etc do more damage than some hybrid driving farknugget who commutes 30+ miles daily, alone, instead of living near their job and then drives 4 hours to the beach every weekend?

MPG means NOTHING, total use is the point, idiot.

I hate Hummer H2s as much as anyone, I just don't biatch about it.

Hozark:My truck has helped rescue a friends house by hauling sand bags to build a levy, hauled motors to and from the shop and other things that few other vehicles could do. And i have done a great deal of work to it myself. It's a 1996 Ford Bronco, it's in pinnacle shape, save one spot of rust, and it gets a scant 19mpg. It stays parked until it needs to go camping or help me stop a brush fire. Your car may be helping save the planet, but you need a four wheel drive to do the work.

I really don't understand why you're upset. The problem isn't with 1996 Ford Broncos. It's with Hummer H2s and the like. A Hummer dwarfs a Bronco.

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: How to render your truck useless:
A reservation road is a good way to render that thing stuck.